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A Special Cinco De Mayo Message to Arizona

By Adam Lyon | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (27)

machete-danny-trejo.jpg

Few actors have done hard time in state penitentiaries. Even fewer can put “Bank Robbery Consultant” on their resume. Danny Trejo can say both of these things. Danny Trejo can say whatever he wants.

And today, on Cinco De Mayo, Danny Trejo has a message for Arizona.

I hope you watched until the end. Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Alba are going to end up pregnant, but Steven Seagal and Robert DeNiro? Those two legendary badasses? They’re gonna end up dead. Why? Because they just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

TREJO. SOFT “J.” TAKING OVER THIS TOWN.

(via Ain’t It Cool)









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Comments

The only female I really noticed in that trailer was Michelle Rodriguez...she looked fucking delicious.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at May 5, 2010 6:06 PM

Can. Not. Wait!

Posted by: Gaius at May 5, 2010 6:10 PM

I ain't paying to see anything with fucking Lindsay Lohan in it.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 5, 2010 6:14 PM

That's unfortunate BSlim, because "fucking Lindsay Lohan" seems to be exactly what will happen.

Posted by: coryo at May 5, 2010 6:21 PM

Da-yum Michelle Rodriguez where did that come from?

Good to see Jessica Alba going back to being horribly mis-cast.

And why am I secretly hoping for a Steven Segal/Lohan sex tape? Not even from a sexual arousal standpoint, just from a "you know what, it kinda makes sense when you think about it" standpoint.

Posted by: D-Day at May 5, 2010 6:40 PM

That was a lot of steel and now I have a lot of wood.

Posted by: admin at May 5, 2010 6:41 PM

Yummmy. Lindsay Lohan and knives.

Posted by: peanut at May 5, 2010 6:54 PM

Bad. Ass.

Posted by: linny at May 5, 2010 7:24 PM

Trejo, De Niro, Alba, Johnson and motherfucking Steven Seagal? Sold!

Posted by: FabMax at May 5, 2010 7:46 PM

Question: Will Machete reach Trinidad?

We have our own machetes and yes the name Trinidad is Spanish. That, however, is no guarantee that we'll get to see THIS Machete.

Posted by: Four Eyes at May 5, 2010 7:50 PM

...and also featuring US Marshall and Lawnmower Man Jeff Fahey? BAD ASS

Posted by: Riles at May 5, 2010 8:24 PM

Michelle Rodriguez. super hot body. retard eyes.

Posted by: beercan bravado at May 5, 2010 8:31 PM

If Lindsay Lohan didn't have fanny between her legs there be a bounty on her head.

Posted by: bob at May 5, 2010 8:58 PM

It's got nunsploitation...sweet.

Posted by: stryker1121 at May 5, 2010 9:00 PM

THIS is what an action hero's supposed to be: manly, rough as leather and full of piss and vinegar. Every man who sees this movie will grow hair on their chest to rival Zangief, and every woman will be pregnant with triplets.

Posted by: Danny from Puerto Rico at May 5, 2010 9:02 PM

Sold!

Posted by: mechadave at May 5, 2010 9:40 PM

Shit just got real.

Posted by: jcollier at May 5, 2010 9:59 PM

I love this trailer! I love Deniro. I love that they are resurrecting Don Johnson. Seagal, I could do without, but for cheese factor having him is pretty epic.

What up Lawnmower Man! Glad to see you've used being on Lost to your advantage!

Yay for this movie, it looks pretty amazing!

Posted by: Mebe at May 5, 2010 10:58 PM

Pitching tent (heh-heh), getting in line for tickets now.

This has gotta be a midnight show, right?

Posted by: , at May 5, 2010 10:59 PM

What up Lawnmower Man!

That seriously made me laugh.

Posted by: MM at May 6, 2010 1:42 AM

NOW it all makes sense! Seagal's recently reported "unusual sexual response" must be something along the lines of "ejaculating a mixture of vodka and cocaine" - hence the presence of Lohan.

Posted by: Ed at May 6, 2010 7:09 AM

Screw Powerthirst - Machete will make you a fighter jet made of biceps.

Posted by: Shane at May 6, 2010 7:57 AM

I want to purify myself in the waters of this trailer.

One noteworthy moment. My libido is confused about the scene featuring a topless Michelle Rodriguez. Her face looks like a mangled giraffe's after a 4 year meth binge, but that body was smokin'.

Somebody get me a paper bag, a panty hose, a small potato sack, a large sharpie, something, anything!!! Daddy's gotta cover that shit up!

Hmm? What's that you say? Hit if from the back? Okay, but if she turns around I'm calling the cops.

Posted by: Kballs at May 6, 2010 8:19 AM

OK, now that is what I am talking about. Can't wait.

Posted by: Nimue at May 6, 2010 8:43 AM

So say we all.

Posted by: , at May 6, 2010 9:42 AM

That looks...cheezerriffic!

Posted by: peachfish at May 6, 2010 10:08 AM

OMG CANNOT WAIT

Posted by: blacksred at May 6, 2010 12:56 PM