February 5, 2009 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Trailers | February 5, 2009 |


In one corner, we have John Cena, a wrestler of some note, who stars in movies made for the “Walker: Texas Ranger” crowd. He was in The Marine, which we actually have a review of, a surprise to me (and I apologize for the assignment, P-Step). Now Cera is in a movie coming out called 12 Rounds. He’ll play a cop. He’ll play a cop who chased a pretty woman in front of a moving car. A couple of years later, that woman’s boyfriend is out to seek revenge. The only real thing of note about 12 Rounds is that the villain is played by “The Wire’s” Tommy Carcetti (and from what I can tell in the preview, he’s pretty good). It also comes from “The Director of Die Hard 2,” although they’re smart enough not to mention that the director is Renny Harlin (I know, I know, I know: the Long Kiss Goodnight is awesome, blah blah blah) and “The Producer of Speed” (although, they conveniently leave out that it also comes from the producer of 27 Dresses, too). It looks like ass on a stick. Although, here’s something strange: You can hear Steve Harris’ very recognizable voice several times in the trailer, but they only show his face for one split second (it’s taking a punch). Why, conspiracy theorists?

In the other corner, we have Brittany Murphy. Not content to torture us with The Ramen Girl, Murphy actually has six films on her slate over the next two years (which is odd, because I thought she’d disappeared for good). John Cena could break her in half with a raise of his eyebrow. Nevertheless, Murphy is starring in a horror movie — one of those atmospheric, haunted house dealies, and OHMYGOD Thora Birch. Where the hell has she been, and why wasn’t she the one who got Scarlett Johansson’s career after Ghost World? (She may actually deserve Ryan Reynolds). Anyway, here’s the trailer for Deadline. It’s a snoozer, which is why I give the nod to 12 Rounds, if only for the presence of Carcetti and his cool fro.

12 Rounds

Deadline

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The Twig vs. The Square Jaw

An Epic Trailer Suck-Off / Dustin Rowles

Trailers | February 5, 2009 | Comments ()



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