Pajiba

congradulations, Ranylt richards, you just proved that your reviews are just mental masterbation. WTF? Big words weren't enough for you, now you gotta haul out big pretentious ideas? suck it, show-off.

All right, before this business gets out of hand, I'm just going to step in here with a few words because we've been here before and I know exactly where this is heading. Let me just start out by saying, mirrormax, before you start criticizing our staff, why don't you first go back and get your elementary school GED. Second, to the rest of you mirrormaxes just waiting to jump in here: Ranylt is not trying to sound intelligent, she is intelligent. We like to feature a higher-than-average level of discourse in these parts, and if that offends your intellect, we apologize. Go sell your stupid somewhere else.

Nice Rowles. Real nice. I guess that explains where my fucking white horse is when I get shit for being too "lowbrow."

my family watches this movie every christmas without fail; it's actually one of our very few traditions relating to the holidays. my parents live in kentucky, so it's always watched while drinking copious amounts of bourbon, playing monopoly, and chanting, "whiiiiskey!" one of the many reasons why i love my family.

Whoa now, before this gets out of hand and turns into another complete shit-show of a comment section... Dustin, I think it's been proven that the regular readers (myself included) stand up for Ranylt plenty. I'm not sure that this is the thread you need to jump in on. Besides, Stacey makes a valid point - where were you when people were jumping on her for botching the Breakfast at Tiffany's review... or for that matter, when some dope told me my review of the Wild Bunch was "wrong?" I guess what I'm saying is let's leave the sniping to the commenters, instead of dropping to that level. With all of that said, another great review Ranylt... as usual, I didn't necessarily understand all of it, but I always enjoy reading your stuff.

Sigh, the review is fine. When did Pajiba turn into AIC? Do I need to start bringing my bug-spray?

Hey! I didn't botch that review, you sonofabitch! Go back to driving school!

Here's a real noodle-burner: How the fuck do you even pronounce "Ranylt Richildis"? Every time I try it comes out as some garbled mess like RAN YELL'D RICH EEL DISS.

I hate Canada.

Excellent review Ranylt, I too haven't seen this since I was about 12/13 so I'll have to rewatch it. After I watch Casablanca.

is it safe to re-watch Ghostbusters

YES!! Oh delicious peach-sangria-soaked Jesus yes. It is still just as funny. Ackroyd is just as sweet, Murray just as acerbic, Moranis just as pathetic, and Sigourney Weaver just as hot.

TK -- it's always you and Vermillion, isn't it? Making everybody else's business your own. Fight your own fights, brother. Kindly keep your noses out of everyone else's business. -- DR

This is why I love Pajiba so much. Ranylt, is it wrong of me to say that I'd like to see your grotesque body and Rabe-lay the hell out of it, maybe even use some dung and urine to degrade it? Is that wrong? It's not, right?

Hey, toots, instead of using all those big words, how about show some yabos on this lame-ass site?

If I'm not mistaken, hidden behind all those big words and smarties nonsense is a review pashing Trading Places. For serious?

I'm getting god damn sick of the high-faluting shit around this parts. Pajiba used to be fucking smart. Now it's snobby as all, and losing its sense of humor in the process.

Good day sir.

I say, good day!

Amazing. It takes, what, ten comments to bring out the mysogynist assholes? Fucking stunning reggie. Nice to see that the calibre of posters around here has dropped to the level where we get threats of sexual assault as a compliment.

Sweet zombie Jesus, people.

Jesus, where the fuck did all of the miscreants come from, do they lay in wait for Ranylt to post a review?

Lordy.

I thought I was coming to read a Pajiba film review and I find this comment thread. Must have clicked through to YouTube by mistake...

Ugh... I gotta say, this movie was crap when I first watched it on tv when I was 10, and considering all the shit Murphy has put out between then and now, I think I'm even more underwhelmed. Whatevs, thanks for the review RR.

PS. I totally agree with TK, where's the need in being so vicious when it comes to the reviewers? (I'd like to point out that I liked Stacey's B@T review.) Seriously, if you don't like the review/reviewer who says you need to be a little shit and get downright mean about it?

Wow. It took all of ten minutes for this thread to devolve into commentary that would have to be ten times smarter before I'd be generous enough to call it retarded. Even the staff is getting in on the stupid.

Everyone here has Downs Syndrome but me.

Reading this again, I realize that A) I'm completely over-educated, and B) that this stinks of April Fools.

Sigh... thanks a lot Ranylt and Dustin.

Fuck you, Craig. -- DR

I think they must do Julie, something about big words being spouted by an uppity woman whips them into a frenzy it appears.

Great movie, lame review. I stopped reading Salon reviews because of silly, irrelevant reviews like this.

ummmmmmmm, april fool's anyone? no? just a thought... i mean, rabelais? come on.

Ranylt, I'll still take you to Cornwall - It's always lovely to be reminded that my hangover-soothing visual-dreck once had roots in something apparently more worthy.

Pretentious? Nous?!

Stacey, the driving school crack was uncalled for, OK? I was simply trying to make a point. And I didn't say you botched the review, I said that OTHER PEOPLE felt you did. Settle down, Suzy Sensitive. Oh, and bite me.

And Dustin, a) Unless you're looking for a dull-yet-clever 1000 word dissertation on defending reviewers, I'd advise against using Vermillion's name again, and b) I'm just trying to keep it civil, OK?

I have been lurking on this site for several months now and while I appreciate solid movie commentary and some of the humor, may I ask why all of you oh-so-clever people insist upon invoking the name of our Lord Jesus Christ when you need to make a comment or respond to someone?
Aren't there enough curse words out there without the persistent mis-use of one name that is sacred to millions?
Is your intelligence limited to being clever by bashing Christians? Oddly enough I never see anyone write "Sweet Allah on a Pogo Stick" or "sweet sangria-soaked Buddha".

And this is why I love/hate Pajiba so much. for every good microwaved baby, there's a film theory lesson just around the corner. Fuck, I wish I could unread this and get back that 20 minutes of my life...

I love this movie like no other (the scene with Murphy in his jail cell in the beginning is pitch-perfect in every way), but I would have more expected/appreciated it to be posted in a Hangover Theatre thread.

I know Ranylt is intelligent, but that doesn't mean this movie should ever be interpreted as such.

Alas and alack....moderated on my own birthday.

"And though it may seem like a stretch to lay Russian formalist theory over poppycock like Trading Places"---
well, yes, that was a stretch. But I learned something new, and it stretched my brain and vocabulary a bit. Not a bad thing, is it? Jesus on a popsicle stick, people, lighten up.
Now, about the movie... yes, poppycock. And yes, you should watch Ghostbusters again. I am very fond of this movie, and at the time it came out, I was working for a commodities broker, and was amazed that anyone else could be interested in pork bellies and frozen concentrated OJ.
Great review, Ranylt. Good luck with your scary-ass obligations, see you in a few weeks.

Oh, and your Wild Bunch review was wrong, asshole.

allow me to de-lurk to say that yes, I think that ranylt, while verbose, is an excellent writer. But at the same time, i don't get why she doesnt ever defend herself. its a little lame to let random commenters do your dirty work.

And as for the breakfast at tiffanys review, that WAS a weak review- if youre going to completely gloss over something as culturally important as the disgusting racism, why bother reviewing it all.

and spare me the "uppity women" bullshit. don't try to turn a simple disagreement into some bullshit nagfest about feminism. fucking snore...

can we talk about the goddamn movie now?

"Sweet Allah on a Pogo Stick" or "sweet sangria-soaked Buddha"

Consider it done, Jesus H. Freak.

Sweet tap dancing Moses (that's for you Rapturous), I am starting to wonder if there's just a stable of folks that only come out to play when Ranylt writes. Maybe next time she should publish under a pseudonym (or under one of the male reviewers names, just for shits and giggles) and we'll see if this happens.

Because for serious? I enjoy comparative literature, and I enjoyed that review quite a bit. And now I have some new things to add to my reading list.

And if you have to go back to before I was born to find decent Eddie Murphy material, maybe it is just time to give up on him as a comedian.

Sweet Buddha's balls, people. First flame wars and pedantic whinging, and now Mssr Rowles steps off his pedestal to hand out some personal insults.

Everyone continues to be gay and retarded.

Hey Ranylt, if those scary-ass obligations keep you away for more than a few weeks - maybe, like, forever - no complaints here. Sweet Allah on a toasted piece of challah, that review was harder to get through than the reviews of days gone past from dear departed Jeremy.

Hey Asscracker:

If it took you 20 minutes to read that review, you shouldn't be here in the first place. Did you have to keep your finger all the words to track along?

Actually, Rapturous, we've been known to invoke the name of Allah and Buddha. Hi I'm Julie, I'm Catholic, I believe in Jesus, and I use his name in vain.

Seriously Genny. It's nice to see a review on this site now and then that isn't peppered with dick and fart jokes.

Fucking women. Let them out of the fucking kitchen, and just look at the shit that happens.

Cranky Tuesday anyone? This is a well-orchestrated ruse, correct? An April Fool's comment -thread prank years in the making?

Nice review, Ranylt - me learn new word thing read when I review of yous.

Chicken-Fried Jaysus riding Godtopus sidesaddle! Again, it's a review folks... Everybody's got their favorite reviewer, everyone has their least-favorite... And as we all know, a review is an opinion. You can't be a douche to somebody for having an opinion.

REGGIE:

thank you for saying that. now it saves me from leaving that comment on one of Agent Bedhead's sh*t reviews. She's always rambling on about sadomasojism, shirtless dudes, and every word is f*ck f*ck f*ck. If not for the shirtless dudes id be jacking to her writing but sometimes i do it anyway.

After the sister-act debacle of aught-seven, I didn't think you guys could top it. No one at work can possibly understand why this is funny, thanks for getting me in trouble.

Vermillion can take care of his self, TK. Seriously -- lay the fuck off. Mind your own business. And Stacey -- he was kind of right about the Breakfast review. -- DR

Okay, let's just take a breath, folks. We have a spectrum here, from the erudite, take-it-all-apart analysis of Ranylt to the scratch-my-ass-by-scooching-down-this-bench musings of the Boozehound. An open forum with lots of different styles is what makes This Island Pajiba special.

If it's not for you, then that's fine, but all that means is "it's not for you." Just like every other day, there'll be another article along in a few hours . . . and that one has boobies!

And TK fighting with litely? I don't know whether to try to referee or get some lube...

This comment thread is going to turn into something sadder than Eddie Murphy's latest offerings, isn't it?

Ranylt's joie de vive is, as always, resplendent.

Frankly, you are all, missing my point. For a group of people who are filled to the brim with smug confidence in your "eloquence" and assumed superiority over others, I fail to see why you must resort to taking the Lord's name in vain to make your points. I was not asking you to include other deities (and I'm sure those who believe in those entities would also be offended). It's amusing to me that you believe yourselves to be so different and cliquish, yet you are just run of the mill lefties who think it's fun and cool to show how often you can blaspheme in a given sentence.

Alright, this comment-thread is a well-orchestrated ruse years in the making, correct?

Chicken-Fried Ganeesh riding Godtopus sidesaddle, folks...

Oh I'm sorry, I guess I'll just stick to making fun of fat celebrities, since it appears that's all I'm good for.

So, no socalled, Stacey is now fighting with Dustin. And I'd suggest you get an ambulance, cause I don't fuck around, either.

Jeezie Creezie! If people don't like intelligent movie reviews, isn't that what Rolling Stone and Entertainment Weekly are for? I really like reading Ranylt's reviews. A little bit of film theory never hurt anyone. Sometimes it's fun to expand your idea of what meaning lies behind a text, even if it's far-fetched. Anyone who majored in English knows what that's all about. I don't think it's necessarily pretentious. It's just thoughtful. While I suppose it's fair enough to express that you didn't care for a certain review, does it have to be done with so much vitriol?

Darkling: may I suggest you go back to lurking? Because really, you're not contributing much to the discussion here are you sweetness?

And as for turning this into a discussion on Feminism - why the fuck not? It's only ever Ranylt that gets this response. Do you see commenters detailling what they'd like to do to Dustin's unwilling self? No. You don't. You call bullshit for the Breakfast at Tiffany's review for not mentioning racism, why can't I call out a commenter for blatant misogyny?

Oh and also: Bite me.

Uh, Stace, -- Just FYI: I hold all the passwords to the site, you know? I'm just sayin ... I don't want to have to go there. -- DR

Good show, guys, good show. I never believe anything I read on this site on April 1st, and that includes the comments section.

I didn't really read the review though, sorry Ranylt. You're a smart cookie, but my brain's too tired to work itself up to comprehending so many big words about a movie I've never seen and couldn't care less about.

I have no prob with Ranylt's reviews - and as a fellow Ottawan I feel a certain kinship with her. (Sidenote - eff you Scary Larry for dissing Canada.) So anyway, why all the unprecedented rage in the comments today, people? Is this some kind of messed-up/angry April Fools prank? :S

Not if I change the locks first, bitch.

Holey Rusted Metal Batman... why is every damn site all the internet getting all bitchy today. Here, Woot, dA... happy fucking April Fools everyone!

Please, please, please? Is this fighting an April Fool's joke?!

Rapturous, who the fuck died and made you the collective moral compass of us? For fuck's sake, the site has a goddamn Octopus as their pseudo-diety.

And Stacey, seriously, what the fuck is your problem today? Let me make it clear since you're obviously not reading well today: I did not make fun of your review. I barely even READ the fucking thing.

Calm the fuck down. If you're gonna be this goddamn sensitive, maybe you should stick to goofy WIMB links and posts about shitty-ass Supernatural.

Just a long-time listener, first-time caller, and yes it took me 20 mins to work through that brain-pus. I like this site fine, its just this every once in a while swerving over to this type of wholier-than-thou bs. Yah, I have a college degree, but I don't come here to learn film theory, yo.

And what a suprise socalledcousins and his girlfriend swing in like tarzan & jane for this reviewer - you think he works here or something, oh yah, he does.

Ooh, ooh, April Fool's fight! I predict this will end with Dustin shutting down the site and giving everyone a right good scare. The figurative "taking his ball and going home," if you will.

Congratulations. Pajiba has finally become Howard Stern. It wasn't happy with just doing the occasional weekly review. Now, we're letting the monkeys run the show. If it's not complete narcissism or arrogant discourses, it's some retard stringing together four pop culture references, slapping on some swear words and calling it a review. Fuck cock labyrinth battlestar galactica fuck fuckass simpsons quote fuck katherine heigl sucks cock in hell. Can I be a reviewer now? You fucking manatees should write for Family Guy.

And then the rest of the mutants start applauding and drooling and sucking each other off. Fantastic. You're a real credit to society.

Hey now, Dustin, you are getting ridiculous. Threatening folks is no way to run a site, man.

Besides, not everyone is as cry-baby sensitive as you are, Mr. August Rush. I mean, grow up and get a pair, willya?

Long time lurker, first time poster. Uhm, Dustin. We love you. We need you. Pajiba wouldn't be the same without you. But you're not for serious, right? Because the fact of the matter is, Mirrormax and those who followed in his/her comments are right - this was mental masterbation. Hell, Ranylt even admitted it in her review, saying she was going to dig to find something to take out of this. So calm down and let us monkeys fight amongst ourselves, would you?

And Alex the Odd, are you angry because you're just not getting any? Because we could work something out to fix that.

This fight would only get better if Agent Butthead got in on the action.

Hey, Alex, toots, how about you put that mouth to better use than nagging, okay, babe? Nobody cares.

I hope all the in-house fighting is a cruel April Fool's joke. :(
Stay together for the kids!

Alex The Retarded, nice fucking attitude. See, this is the hypocritical bullshit about this site that pisses me off. It's all fine and good for you assholes to have 200+ posts about fucking retard board game sex and whatever the fuck else, but someone offers up a nugget of criticism and cunts like you jump down their fucking throat. Maybe if you offered something constructive instead of kneejerk, on-the-rag whining? Just something to think about.

and Pajiba assplodes in 3...2...1...

The review was boring, but the comments are worse.

Tacos?

I hope all the in-house fighting is a cruel April Fool's joke. :(
Stay together for the kids!

Ha! Lannie, that's what I've been thinking :)

Calm the fuck down. If you're gonna be this goddamn sensitive, maybe you should stick to goofy WIMB links and posts about shitty-ass Supernatural.

Hah! Damn right, TK. About time somebody just came out and said it.

You know I'm really sick of all this "Socalled and Alex" stuff. He's almost old enough to be her father. If this site has just become a vehicle for men to virtually fuck twnety somethings, I'm out. I hate to go down this path, but seriously enough is enough.

Yay! We're talking about mysgogyny and womyn and heretics and 15th century apocrypha. Why slap in some taco dip and we've got gold!

We forgot to mention racism! Let me be the first to blame this on the Mexicans. Those dirty, dirty Mexicans and their 15 babies.

I love it when Ranylt's reviews turn to a caged death match because they're too smart for the mouthbreathers who find their way to the site from Websters Is My Bitch. I'm just waiting for the Jezebellys to get their panties in a bunch over all the sexism. Someone already lit the fuse on Stacey's tampon.

Go Murder Tank Go!

So.
I'm curious. How long have these comments been laying in wait. I'm guessing Ranylt can pull a review like this out of her ass at the last minute, but the rest of you (Dan "Rapturous") must have been preparing this for weeks!

Wha...what the...?

What the fuck is going on with you people?

I'm scared...

Oh shit! That's right!

Happy April fools, my loves!

Uhmmm, fuck you Dustin, fuck you TK and fuck you Vermillion. It's called PMS, look into it.

And you can say whatever you want about me, but when you insult "Supernatural," it's FUCKING PERSONAL.

If you all don't mind, I'm just going to park it here and refresh at least until someone unleashes the zombies. This is perhaps the most fun I've ever had reading a comment thread. It's good to see so many others ready to start riots to avoid working on a Tuesday afternoon. Bravo! Let's throw down!

It's all fine and good for you assholes to have 200+ posts about fucking retard board game sex

Don't bring Scrabble Sex into this! It's all some of us have!!

Ummm....check your calendars everyone....losers.

Dustin:
Normally, I would brush it off as sarcasm, but today's thread has taken a nasty turn and IF you are actually threatening to FIRE Litely up there, well, I'd say this little site has finally got its Napoleonic knickers in a real twist over nothing. She can't disagree with you now? Ranylt gets swaddled in kevlar and escorted through her review by Pajiba guards but Litely is left out to hang because of her position? Badly done, Dustin.

April the first is never complete without a circle jerk.

By the salty beard of the Bahai, you people have officially jumped the shark. Maury Povich just called...

And he said I just farted.

Um, what day is it again?

Great, and now someone is editing comments again to put in fart jokes. Fuck this website.

And you can say whatever you want about me, but when you insult "Supernatural," it's FUCKING PERSONAL.

Supernatural super-SUCKS. It is a miracle it is even on network TV, it should be on Sci-Fi Weekends or something.

Maybe if you fangirls had put so much attention on a REAL show, we wouldn't have lost VM or Firefly.

Cute Jerome - a woman with an opinion! My God! She must be in need of a good rogering. That'll shut her up. Why don't you take your pathetic virgin self back to the hole you so evidently crawled out of.

Fuck you. And, no, not in the way you'd like.

And Darkling: seriously? "on the rag whining" you can't think of anything more original than to compare me to female genetalia and invoke the images of menstruation? Really? Calling a woman a cunt, well there's a sign of emotional maturity.

I'd be fucking furious except you're just proving my point for me by being a moronic asshat with nothing useful to say for himself.

Uhhh, let me guess, Dustin's hiding all the "April Fools" comments on us again this year, huh?

Good one!

Now, dear bitches, let's go back to all lovin' each other and being happy. I'll bring the lube.

oh boy, feels like a sorority house with everyone PMSing at the same time.

Yeah, Dustin... breathe, man. Stace doesn't mean it.

And how did I get dragged into this? Do I really talk about sex that much?

Hey I'm usually a lurker, so if there was some email among the regulars to bash the outraged lurkers/run with the joke, then I am sorry for ruining it by calling it out, say 30-40 comments into the discussion? Sorry for the quick judgment, this site rocks and so do the commentors and I hope it never changes.

Finally, Vermillion, you say something worthwhile. I knew if you left enough comments, something useful would come from them. -- DR

puppies... kittens... unicorns.... april fools? I gotta get back to work.

Um...okay, then.

I know I've had a helluva lotta caffeine today, but things would appear to have taken a sharp turn into surreal territory.

And how did I get dragged into this? Do I really talk about sex that much?

Not as much as I do!

Thanks for the vote of confidence, AB -- but oh, I mean it all right.

And V, stop overcompensating to disguise the fact that you beat it to Supernatural on a regular basis. It's OK man, I know they're just that damn pretty.

Yes Vermillion the fact that people like Supernatural is DIRECTLY responsible for the shows you like being cancelled. Obviously.

What I hate is how liking Supernatural or Gossip Girl has become shorhand for being a mouth-breathing throwback around here. Some of us like those shows and they manage it without being "Fangirls". It's called differing taste. Look it up.

This is the dumbest fucking comment thread I've ever seen, and I've been reading them for two years.

P.S. Supernatural sucks cock.

AssCracker: WTF? Are you for serious calling me out with that misspelled pile of steaming horseload? (I'll let you figure out which horse orifice you coaxed the horseload out of.) I said there's room for all kinds of reviews. As it happens, I like Ranylt's work too, a good change of pace hereabouts. What's your damage, Zombie No. 6? Climb off Aunt Sissie, put your corncob dentures back in, and wake the fuck up.

Here's a handy guide: Read entire comment first. Think for one year about what it says. Go to skool and lurn leters. Return to Pajiba and apologize to everyone for unleashing shit stank.

Fedupoldercommenter: I stalk AtO, I do not defile her with virtual sex; she has the good sense not to get involved with older men. Paddy is my virtual wife; pay attention old man. Also, I'm old enough to be AtO's father only in your home nation of hillbilly-stan.

Finally, Vermillion, you say something worthwhile. I knew if you left enough comments, something useful would come from them.

Hey now, that is just common sense. I am not happy with you either. What's up with the silence, man? Not a single assignment for like months now.

Is Pookie right? Am I just your little affirmative action card, something you can whip out at all the angry black folk and say "See, I listen to you people"? And what do you mean, YOU people? Like we are a different species or something?

I see how this works. You get the nice, mild-mannered house boy to do your dirty work with all those "urban" movies, and then when you are finished, suddenly all the email dry up! Got an answer for that, Mr. High and MIghty PajibaLord?

So I was totally checking out this other site and it was full of Valentines. F I R S T RA T E MA T C H.C OM. Check it out, you wont be disappoint!

Oh my fucking sweet Christ, ENOUGH with the Supernatural. NO ONE CARES. NO ONE. Even if you're being ironic, it's NOT FUCKING FUNNY.

Perhaps it's my Liberal Arts education, but I was entertained by the review. I'm not a fan of the movie, but pulling a literary method and using it as a new way to interpret the film is pretty interesting. I'm not taking it as divine gospel nor will I appreciate every bombastic 80s comedy as such, but it doesn't hurt to look at things from fresh angles.
Take it as you will, but I see no point in getting so hostile over a review.

It seems that this comment thread has simply turned into "Let's all bitch about the various things I hate about Pajiba" laundry list.

Sangria-soaked Buddha, indeed.

"Ranylt Richildis has some scary-ass professional obligations coming up in the non-Pajiba world, so she has to go on hiatus for a few weeks. She promises to miss everyone with a banshee-like intensity until her return."

So Ms. Richildis posts a review that is bound to get negative comments then goes "on hiatus"??? Odd. Maybe one of you brains who claim to understand/enjoy the review could figure out what "Ranylt Richildis" is an anagram for.

For reals, is this an April Fool's joke?

I'm so goddamed confused... Why the hate? Why so much fighting? Can't we all just smile, and have a fucking Coca-Cola and teach the world to sing and shit like that?

I'm... Should I, uh... start up the uh... the PeaceBuggy?

"C'mon people now, smile on your brother, everybody come together and try to at least kinda tolerate eachother right now..."

Congrats, folks, another review where no one actually comments about the movie just bitches about their own problems. Sorry if I'm not bolding any names, just don't wanna call anyone out when everyone is to blame.

The movie sucks anyway.

I'm just wondering how a review that boils down to "it kind of sucks, but here is some interesting theoretical discussion of how it sucks in an interesting way" merits an "underrated gem" stamp.

Holy shit, I take a powder for a few weeks and come back to find this shit? First off, you lost me at 15th Century. Is this for serious? I mean, I love mental masturbation as much as the next girl but this is a bit much.

And Rowles, what the fuck dude? Since when have to chastised commenters for calling spades, spades?

Alex, I swear to god if I hear you whine about mysoginy one more time Imma break a dildo off in your ass. So fucking boring. Jesus. I'm going back to the Obama campaign. This shit is beneath me.

Dustin:

You need to back off. Just because some marketing hacks want to give you a few free CDs doesn't mean you're suddenly so important you can play the heavy hand with your commenters and reviewers. Who would come here without the Vermillion/TK threads? You owe them man, why are you alienating your core group?

Yes Vermillion the fact that people like Supernatural is DIRECTLY responsible for the shows you like being cancelled. Obviously.

Dammit, Alex, I love you, and becasue of that I have refrained from saying anything to you. Pulling my punches so to speak. So will you please not get into this? Frankly, you couldn't handle me at full force.

Besides, what ELSE would a brain-deadened FANGIRL gonna say?

Don't you dare call Vermillion a spade! He's already angry about being a token.

i love eddie murphy! i hear he's single now and has a profile on millionairematchDOTcom.

Holy hell, this has turned into a bloodbath...I enjoy Ranylt's posts. It adds a little intelligence to my day. I don't understand why we can't have a little bit of everything on this site. "can't we all just get along!" Yes, you made me go there.

Does this site ever get any new commenters? It's like the same 10 people having a circle jerk over every review.

I guess this won't show till later, but I'm so relieved this is only April Fools! I was waiting all day for the review on Sister Act II and then totally failed to join the dots when Dustin started to post SO out of character. I was really worried about how nasty everyone was (actually I'm still a little worried, never mind tomorrow it'll all be over, wonder how many threads will be poisoned till then).

oh boy i thought it was a sorority house PMSing all together and then I realized what day it was. this beats last year, and I totally bought it last year, for one day I felt legitimed to love sister act like I do (and despite everything I dont change my mind).
I also adore this movie. but it's john landis so that's easy.

TOUCHE' you guys, touche'.

Ok, it's April first. There's no way any of this can be real, from DR's comments to this overly verbose review. (I have nothing against throwing film/literary theory around, but somewhere along the line you have to take a step back and edit!)

...Please?

This comment thread is surely going to cause someone serious alcohol poisoning.

Okay, BarbadoSlim has officially sucked out V's brain and taken over his body. I think B-Slim is responsible for about half the posts on this thread. In the lingo of your people, V, this thread is wack!

vermillon, i've been reading for a while and you've been trying to be the "please everybody" voice of reason for-fucking-evar, and now you're pissed?

Yeah, I said it. Your holierthanthou bullshit is getting seriously tired, dude.

the pc pain in the asses are killing this site. between your bullshit and alex the retardeds whiny feminist garbage, i dont know why i come here at all.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....

....cough...cough....

Oh, man...I was in pain for a bit from my wisdom tooth extraction...but this turned it around for me. Nice job, peoples...nice job...

The review was great, by the way. The move is fantastic to watch over and over again, although it'll never approach the excellence that is Ghostbusters.

Ummm....check your calendars everyone....losers.

Too true, jay...too true...

Oh that posted! You mean this isn't all a big joke! Lets just say it is and move on. :-(

Oh for fuck's sake Vermillion give it a rest. It's getting old. I get called out for my feminist agenda and yet you get to play the race card whenever it fucking suits you. Pick a side and stick to it. Yeah, yeah "you love me so you're pulling your punches" please. Because I couln't "handle" you. Do you even read the shit you type?

You're bitching about my whining about misogyny Beckyloo and yet you have no fucking problem with the whining about religion or race going on? Seriously if it was just an opportunity for you to score points with the big boys for your stunning graphic imagery I'll understand. Just be a big girl and admit it.

And socalled is right fedup if you're going to reference Pajiban mythology at least get it fucking right.

@FedUpOlderCommenter

Smacks of bitterness to me. Your usual name wouldn't start with a "P" and end in a "g" would it? Maybe if you started acting your age instead of hanging out with a younger web crowd to try to feel less shriveled and sere, you wouldn't have to face the truth: younger girls have perky breasts and that's what the guys want.

@ELizabeth: Please nobody make those stupid fucking zombie jokes again. That was the week that wouldn't end.

Fabulous, Ranylt! It made me feel young and pretentious; like I was back in grad school again. It was as good as the "Sister Act" analysis from last April Fools Day

::gulp:

Um... Hey folks, just wondering: is all of this hostility part of some kind of April Fool's joke?

You're right Bastard Ray, it's always "the eloquents", and you would think that they at least like each other.

April Fools??

vermillon, i've been reading for a while and you've been trying to be the "please everybody" voice of reason for-fucking-evar, and now you're pissed?

Yeah, big nuts you got, saying something now. Yeah, so what if I actually try to inject some love and world motherfucking peace into this cesspool? I am doing you bottomfeeders a favor.

You don't like me calling you a bottom feeding piece of garbage? Well here you complain to DEEEEEZ NUTS!!!!!!

Ouch!

Another lurker surfacing here. I'm going to blame this nonsense on April Fool's Day.

Right? Right??

A theory: various Pajiba regulars and posters are in, dare I say it? cahoots! CAHOOTS, I say and I dare! You all are perpetrating maddeningly clever April Fool's joke. I'm right, aren't I? Do I win a tee-shirt?

Thanks Gaby. But isn't calling them "eloquents" a little, what's the word, retarded? You read this shit.

I see what's going on. You're censoring those of us who are calling you on your

OVER THE TOP APRIL FOOL'S JOKE

Well done. Seriously, I laughed.

I am onto you now...it's called seeing my posts not there when I refresh...

Hey, Bastard Ray: Eat a bag of dicks, OK? Like using the word "retarded" is somehow eloquent? You wouldn't know eloquent if it kicked you in the balls.

Oh for fuck's sake Vermillion give it a rest. It's getting old. I get called out for my feminist agenda and yet you get to play the race card whenever it fucking suits you. Pick a side and stick to it. Yeah, yeah "you love me so you're pulling your punches" please. Because I couln't "handle" you. Do you even read the shit you type?

Well, maybe I should T Y P E S L O W E R so that your alcohol and ink soaked female brain can figure our the nuances of my writing.

Is this just a horrible, sad April Fool's joke? Cause if it is, that makes me sad.

Don't make me quit you.

Ah, and the refreshing pays off! You think you're tricky, but you ain't got no tricks!

Silly Rabbit.

Sigh. I remember when there used to actually be meaningful discourse in these comment threads. Hell, they used to be better than the reviews, half the time. Now they've turned into big circle jerks with the same dozen people apparently hitting refresh a pajillion times a day, waiting to see who can beat off who first.

This is all an elaborate April Fool's joke, right? I feel like I'm at Thankgsgiving with my family and everyone is doing Cuervo shooters and "expressing" themselves freely on one another.

Good stuff, dudes.

Quotation marks are also used for irony, in case you didn't know.

Bastard Ray-then start commenting. We won't bite unless you ask.

And Dustin...Ouch? That's all you could do? I expected better.

i love eddie murphy! i hear he's single now and has a profile on millionairematchDOTcom.

Wow. Trading Spaces. The Wedding Singer. 48 Hours. You guys have your fingers firmly on the pulse of today's entertainment. How about some jokes about airline food? Or the Titanic? Or how black people are like this, but white people are like that? Maybe a couple cracks about the Ayatollah.

You fucking jokes.

Good lord...first my local morning radio show electrocutes someone to death during their "Dog Shock Collar Trivia" segment, then Ranylt incites a riot in the comment thread by once again flaunting her kollidge edjumacayshun in front of the half-wits who read this site, which always makes them monkeys go bananas.
You'd think it's April Fool's day or something.

Well, maybe I should T Y P E S L O W E R so that your alcohol and ink soaked female brain can figure our the nuances of my writing

Yeah, bring up the drinking Vermillion that's REALLY mature.

I have one question:

since when is ANY comment board not a circle jerk? And why are those bad things??

Also:

heeeee! I love y'all. I will suck your circle-jerk zombie lovin' dicks and clits. With mah Jesus face on.

"Eat a bag of dicks" -- TK

Was that Dostoevsky?

OK, last try. I was deleted twice already, for calling this out as an April fool's gag (and actually, a rather sinister and brilliant actually), so if I get deleted again, I guess the eds. are having too much fun at our expense. So, for the record, Happy April Fool's day y'all.

Oh, fuckety fucksocks.

I was just about to posit an April 1st conspiracy, but I see that megbon has beaten me to it. I hope we're right, otherwise Pajiba is plumbing new depths of assholery.

And, for the record, I'm totally in agreement with those who hypothesize that Ranylt wouldn't attract so much criticism were she not one of them darned womenfolk.

"is it safe to re-watch Ghostbusters, or should I keep fond memories intact and never see it again?"

It's safe, just for Rick Moranis.

Yeah, bring up the drinking Vermillion that's REALLY mature.

Well, if the pint glass fits...

Seriously, after reading all of the neurotic rambling you have posted, you calling me out is really taking the fucking cake.

"Boo hoo I am a poor wittle girl boo hoo hoo I need repeat sessions of masochism to feel special boo hoo nobody at work likes me enough to give me staples boo hoo hoo

*glug glug glug*

*tattoo tattoo tattoo*

*glug glug glug*

boo hoo hoo am I cool now?"

Spare me.

This is a prime reason to actually develop a "Commenter Thunderdome".

Christ, people... Anger makes Jesu... (oops, almost let that out slip out - thanks, Rapturous!!)

(...ahem...)

Anger makes fuzzy baby kittens have the soupy-poops (ah, the moral compass pointing in the right direction is so very refreshing...).

Yah, I have as much right to be here as anyone, [b]socalled[b]. You post here all the time, I know you think you own this place. Lots of people have complained about this reviewer before, its every damn article, every time this person writes something. Its insultng, and you liking it doesn't matter to everyone else. Don't be more of an ahole.

Don't call me Jeezie Creezie Lannie!

Do I really talk about sex that much?

Um, yes, Agent Bedhead. Please stop.

Hey V, maybe if you took up drinking you might be a little, you know, more fun?

Just a thought.

HEY! Fuck you, Vermillion!

Don't drag ME into this steaming pile.

Hey, I hear your mom. You better run home and finish your homework, or you won't get to stay up late and play your video games.

Yeah, sorry, that was lame. I'm in too good of a mood today. :)

I'm calling BULLSHIT! on this comment thread! I get the feeling that a certain contingent of people are all in on this thing to make it blow up.

Even for a joke this is all pretty uninspired and retarded.

It's a good thing my grape leaves were so damn delicious for lunch today, because otherwise my day would have been completely and utterly ruined by this supernova of asshattery.

Although I am hormonal AND exhausted, so my fuse is short today. So if anyone has a problem with me, feel free to bring it.

Oh, and hey, TK, baseball season's here. Boston sucks.

I'd be willing to bet it's five comments before someone starts talking about killing Michael Bay or fucking or zombies. It's like having a VCR of a whale giving birth spliced with a Special Olympics bowling tournament. Fill! Fill! Fill those empty voids in your lives!

Next on Boozehound! A special viewing of Deliverance, along with a moonshine taste-test, for that special commenter you just can't get enough of! AssCracker, you should do the Ned Beatty scene in slo-mo so you can refine your technique. I'll make sure to write it in hillbilly vernacular so that it won't be too high-brow for your taste. Alas, I don't think there's any sister-sex, so you might find it stuffy.

Speaking of mental masturbation in reviews, where is Phillip? I am sure he must be abusing himself with a blow-up doll of Aimee Mann or some such elitist shit like that.

Geez, Dustin tell the guy TMI in those emails, okay?

Reader for 2 years, posting for the first time.

The synthesis of intelligent and vitriolic criticism tends to elevate many of the underestimated works in cinema/art into something to be appreciated, albeit not in the sense of mainstream appreciation, which sets it apart.

I guess people come here expecting more of the vitriol than intelligence.

Some can say, "This movie is just about so and so" and leave it at that, while what this critic is doing is synthesizing the high- and low-brow tendencies of the film and humanity in general. She brings 500 years of historical perspective to a modern film and is chewed out (worse) for it?

Sometimes it's better to pick up the dictionary and/or doing some research instead of not getting the point and letting frustration get the better of understanding. We'd all be the better for it...

This site seems geared toward esoteric tastes, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Great review.

I can see where this lost some people. But speaking as a literature/theology grad student, Bakhtin is my favorite literary theorist and I enjoyed the hell out of working on Rabelais and His World, so this hit my happy geek places dead-on.

I'm going to resume my usual lurking now.

And I like Trading Spaces. There's nothing like a hooker with a heart of gold and a few hundred racial, ethnic and class sterotypes to bring a smile to your face.

Hey Stacey, maybe if you STOPPED drinking, your reviews wouldn't suck so bad. Just a thought.

And Kolby: not today, OK? NOT today. I'm annoyed enough as is.

Hey V, maybe if you took up drinking you might be a little, you know, more fun?

Maybe if you took up a little less CW pretty boy knob-gobbling, you would be a little more sympathetic?

Just a thought.

Don't drag ME into this steaming pile.

I didn't, it not my fault you are too slow to read. How about you whip out the sweater puppies again? Side boob was the most interesting part about you.

Yeah, get on a message board to talk about how message boards suck, that's a good way to make your point.

Screw Pajiba with Michael Bay's dick.

I like Trading Places because the jokes make me laugh.

All right! The Eloquents are going for each other's blood!

As the new day dawns, us Sub-Eloquents and lurkers and flying-under-the-radar-ers will emerge from the carnage and rise to the top, creating a kinder, gentler Pajiba. With more fuzzy baby bunnies and LOL-cats galore.

Vishnu H. Amin-ra, it's going to be a whole new world around here.....

Awwww, moderating? I wanted to get in on the April Fool's fun. : * (

Thanks anyway for the best laugh today. : )

Hee! Kolby, that would be Places.

Oh, and TK? The Red Sucks are the NEW Yankees. Overblown, overpaid, and over. Go Cubs!!!

pajiba had it's pajeriod

This whole thread reminds me of an important issue in today's world: abortion. Personally, I think all babies should be killed, wanted or not. Thoughts, anyone?

Okey dokey - back to hoping & praying the state can manage something close to an on-time budget.

Side boob was the most interesting part about you.

Only to you neanderthal FANBOY gaming idiots.

But I don't fault YOU that it's the only boob you've ever seen. Aside from your mother's.

When will you be weaned, by the way?

Just wondering.

Hey Stacey, maybe if you STOPPED drinking, your reviews wouldn't suck so bad. Just a thought.

But TK, if she stopped drinking, how will she cope when her precious Jason Ankles and That Other Tard leave the magic box in her home?

Do you want her to just cry in silence?

Hee! Kolby, that would be Places.

That too. Thanks, boo!

whoever said this site jumped the shark was fucking right on. this is a new low for this dump. between lame-ass tk bitching about his stupid "review" and vermillion (is that even a word?) acting like a five year old... i'm calling the official death of this once cool site. bunch of fucking retards is all thats left. congrats on creating aintitcool 2.0, you assholes.

fools

When will you be weaned, by the way?

What, you offering? Sorry, but one boob isn't worth losing my butt cherry to you.

Oh, yeah, don't think I forgot about your little 'offer'. Seriously, you need help.

Time out.

Jesus Christ.

Dustin, I appreciate the gesture but 1) that was inappropriate as hell and Stacey made a valid point about favoritism, and 2) I love polarizing people! Who cares what comes down the comments pike? Entertainment comes in all forms.

One of the reasons I enjoy writing for this site is the level of professionalism among the Pajiba staff. You guys have really let me down today.

I'm taking my Rabelais and going home. Hopefully when I come back next month, there'll be something left of this place.

Stop all this fighting or I'm pulling this car over and turning it around. Then none of us will get to go to Disney World. Is that what you want? To ruin spring break for little Tommy? Look you made grandma cry.

(I know that I was faked out by the marketing plan, but this has got to be the April Fool's joke.)

whoever said this site jumped the shark was fucking right on. this is a new low for this dump. between lame-ass tk bitching about his stupid "review" and vermillion (is that even a word?) acting like a five year old... i'm calling the official death of this once cool site. bunch of fucking retards is all thats left. congrats on creating aintitcool 2.0, you assholes.

Sorry, didn't get that, I could here your mumbling with DEEZ NUTZ IN YOUR MOUTH.

i got something to say
i killed a baby today
didn't matter to much to me
as long as it bled

I saw Vermillion lose his butt cherry for a copy of live-action 'Cutey Honey'.

See it all on V E R M S C H E R R Y.com

So if I don't use the word 4th month of the year will my comment make it through?

Ranylt, don't you mean "Jeezy Creezy"?

"Hopefully when I come back next month, there'll be something left of this place."

hopefully you won't come back at all, and we can go back to reading reviews in fucking english.

Oh, Ranylt! Don't leave!
You forgot this punch in the face! You washed up, pseudointellectual hag. Go cry to your legions and legions of cats.

Canada sucks.

Ranylt: Good. I couldn't understand your reviews anyway. -- DR

Wait a minute...I'm calling April Fools! All you regulars got together with the writing staff and planned this out. Well played.

isn't agent bedhead the one who has sex dreams about me?

Thanks, Ranylt--I now have Velvet Underground stuck in my head...

"Some kinds of love," Margarita told Tom, "like a dirty French novel, combine the absurd with the vulgar"

Enjoy your time off, don't be TOO busy, and try to pop in and say hello now and again!

Ranylt, the voice of reason. It's too bad everyone is acting stupid because of April's Fool's. I wonder if you were in on this as well...

This is an April Fool's day joke, right?
Because I hate it when mommy and daddy (and auntie and uncle and the kids down the street) fight.

Dustin! Don't you have a baby to be all gay for?

OK, who kidnapped Vermillion and replaced him with a 10 year old boy? Deez nutz jokes? Seriously?

What's that? He IS a ten year old boy?

Oh. Frankly, that explains a lot.

I know I've had a helluva lotta caffeine today, but things would appear to have taken a sharp turn into surreal territory.

Yes, Sarina I'm having the same feeling and a REALLY strong suspicion that someone is hi-jacking commenter nicknames.

Recondite, nice comment and I agree. I love Ranylt's insights.

Umm...wow.

1) I enjoyed the review, if only for the literary and linguistic high wire act that Ranylt had to perform to pull it off. Well done.

2) It's spelled m-a-s-t-u-r-b-a-t-i-o-n. Does no one use spell check?

3) I'm really hoping that this whole comment thread is the result of the most fiendishly dark and devious April Fool's Day prank ever perpetrated on the internets.

With fans like reggie, who needs enemies?

I've read reviews of this movie that claim that the opening scene (Ackroyd dressing for the day)is almost perfect cinema in an otherwise forgettable film. That's a less impressive review than the one above. I like the interjection of film theory in pop culture. Hell, there's an entire publishing line dedicated to just that. Now which diety am I supposed to slander? Sweet mead slicked Thor!

Oh sure, the (second) biggest drunkard on Pajiba is gonna call me out for my drunkardness. Talk about the fart calling the turd stinky.

*Peeks in, realizes that this is far beyond saving, says a "What up?" to Kolby (I am assume, a Yankees fan, Go Yankees!) and quietly walks away, disturbed and sad that things have dissolved this far*

OK, who kidnapped Vermillion and replaced him with a 10 year old boy? Deez nutz jokes? Seriously?

Yeah, well....I'M RUBBER YOU'RE GLUE!!!!!

Besides, I'd rather be a 10-year-old than a suck-ass Sox fan, CT.

don't tell socalled vermillion's a ten year old boy. he might try to internet-rape him.

actually don't tell vermillion. he might need to get raped by a four-thousand year old internet rapist.

Um, Vermillion (whateverthefuckthatmeans), a couple of things:

A) Buttholes have nothing to do with weaning.

B) I was not offering to wean you. I would have to be breast-feeding you to do that, and since we all know that you still suckle your poor mother's ragged, wrinkled tits, then that simply isn't possible.

C) I would never pop your butt cherry. I have way too much self-respect, and not nearly enough sanitizer.

jay, ITA. 4/1 it is!

Wow, this thread turned into the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan on the quick. TK, you got those Claymores? I think we'll have to blow the place.

Wow...all this...wow...you know "retarded" is a classic Masshole word: "What ah you, re-tahdid?" There. Anyway, I have no problem with "big words," and those that do, are whiny little cunts. Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuunts. I think it's fun to review older movies or even bad older movies once in a while. No one is forcing you to read this review or this site even. I like Canada.

Dustin, you must be having so much fun with this. how soon till we get to 1000 comments? flame on!

April Fools?

I only ask because, you know, I have sex dreams about her too.

Haha... Godtopus knows how many flames, and not one remark that a hilariously over the top posmodernist review written on (OMG) April 1st might just be an april fool's joke?

I've never been offended so thoroughly by a review. How dare you mention a movie as crass as Trading Places in the same breath as my idol, Jean Claude Rabelais? Obviously, you have no taste for the finer things in life if you think that this cinematic excrement deserves even a casual reference on a site of this caliber.

And why must you(simultaneously and paradoxically)offend my plain-spoken sensibilities by getting all INTELLECTUAL when writing about a movie that is clearly supposed to be ENJOYED as good fun without THINKING about it so much! Obviously the movie is just FUNNY and why cant you just laugh at it like a normal persn!!! Not evryone is a big movie nerd and sum of us just like to watch movies OK??? GOD!!!!

Your idol would probably appreciate it if you could get his name right--it's François, not Jean-Claude. --RR

Wow... Whatta clusterhump. I'll check back tomorrow to see if anyone's still breathing...

um...april fool's? please, somebody say april fool's?

haha... I just realized what the comment moderation was for. I feel like a tool now : )

By the Spaghetti Monster's sweet appendage, you folks have a case of the Tuesdays! Sheesh.

There's nothing wrong with looking deep (in this case deeeeeeeep) into a movie for the underlying social fabric. Very interesting take on an enjoyable movie, Renylt. Never thought about it that way before.

Is Ghostbusters safe? By Beezelbub's balls, yes. Although (and this is silly) I have a problem where Aykroyd dreams about getting a BJ from a ghost. Was that necessary? Wasn't the ghost just Aykroyd's stupid wife, who has to get screentime in every movie he's in?
If it weren't for that small part, I would have no problem having Ghostbusters on a loop in an elementary school.

"If someone asks if you're a god, say YES!"

Halfway into the comments it occurs to me that this is April Fools Day. Please tell me this explains all the in-fighting???

Uh, boo, (whateverthefuckTHATSsupposedtoimpress), since when did "a couple" equal THREE?

of course you'll be back tomorrow. this is all you ever do with your life.

Could you put down the sharp sticks you regulars keep poking yourselves with.

Or at least, take care of your difference else where. You've all left a bad taste in my mouth.

Is this thread some elaborate April Fool's Day joke on the pajiba readership?

Excuse me for trying to speak in your language, V. I just assumed that because you are still into your mom's tits, that meant you live in West Virginia. Maybe I should have said "a couple few"...would that compute?

As some one who just recently stopped lurking yesterday, it may be out of my place to say, but I think I kinda know this has to be an April Fool's Day joke... The comments with ads kind of gave it away...

Besides, it has to be. Verbal abuse is always a joke! Ha ha ha ha...

Anyway, even if it's not "hillybilly-stan" made me laugh. So, it's a good day. Plus I have cookies.

Happy Violent Fool's day, y'all!

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, St. Patrick, St. Bridget and all the decommissioned saints! I dipped my toes in the water earlier and ended up with the pirahna of commenters accusing me of posting under a different name out of jealousy. I'll take my graying pubes and limp home now.

Sweet Menstruating Zoroaster on a Double-Headed Dildo, people.

Holy Xenu on a shingle, is this some kind of April Fools joke? Cause if this is what happens when Trading Places gets reviewed, I'm glad ranylt passed on Doctor Detroit.

PS Has some l33t haxor hijacked Dustin's password? The comments seem way out of character (and line).

Skittimus, maybe we could just play chess until it blows over. You wanna be black or white?

April Fools!

You commenters got roped in again. I didn't buy it for a second, but it was entertaining.

If my suspicions are correct, this review and the following comments are possibly the greatest April Fool's joke played on the internet EVER.

OH! I GET IT. THE COMMENTS ARE AN APRIL FOOL'S JOKE.

Ghostbusters is a particular fave of ours. When they are in the mayor's office and Murray says,

"But if I'm right, and we can stop this thing, Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters " the way he calls the mayor by his first name and the mayor sort of blinks... Priceless!

It benefits from repeated watching for sure, though the CGI is dated indeed.

Is this whole kerfuffle an April Fool's joke? It's mighty off-putting.

"Besides, I'd rather be a 10-year-old than a suck-ass Sox fan, CT."

Bitch, please. Like you even understand sports. Go back to playing with your fucking Star Wars legos. Maybe you can read some more comic books to find a joke that you don't have to steal from fucking Kolby.

And Stacey? I don't know what the fuck your problem is today. You've taken a couple of innocuous comments and blown them completely out of proportion.

You know, it's bad enough that I'm having such a shit day when it's finally decent outside, but this crap is really the fucking cherry on a shit sundae. Give it a rest, Nosek. You've got your own fucking DAILY column here. I'm stunned that you feel justified bitching about ANYTHING.

Jesus Christ on rollerblades. I stopped fooling around on the interwebs for a few hours to get some work done.

What the fuck happened in here? It's like the zombie war without the zombies, entrails, blood, fire, or whiskey fountain.

Fuck. Skitt, I need to hide in the Murder Tank.

(Also: I'm a Catholic and I took the Lord's name in vain. I'll take it up with St. Peter when I get there.)

Flounder: Oh, boooy, is this grrreat!

Jesus Christ on rollerblades. I stopped fooling around on the interwebs for a few hours to get some work done.

What the fuck happened in here? It's like the zombie war without the zombies, entrails, blood, fire, or whiskey fountain.

Fuck. Skitt, I need to hide in the Murder Tank.

(Also: I'm a Catholic and I took the Lord's name in vain. I'll take it up with St. Peter when I get there.)

april fools?

Ah, April Fools' Day - there's nothing like it. Right?

Wait a minute...

Ranylt's married???

To a man???

Is this a joke?

Happy April Fools Day Y'all.

Right?

Ah, TK, the answer to a question no one asked.

Do I get a prize for recognising that you guys just happened to choose THIS particular day to verbally annihilate each other?

In other words... April Fools?

Har dee fucking har, boo. If that is the best you can do, maybe you need to have you S.O. come in and give you a hand with those big mean insults, LITTLE LADY.

And choke on a sweater vested zombie dick, TK.

Fuck yes. I don't understand the complaints, I'm loving the DR/TK/Lightly/Verm/etc bitchfest. BabaBooey- There's a reason the Stern show has millions of listeners. It's fun to hear the infighting sometimes.

I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Carry on.

I've been busy with real work today, and a commenter just tipped me off to what's going on over here.

Um ... sigh.

Dustin. I've e-mailed you three times now, and you're apparently too busy unloading on our readers and writers to respond, so while I fucking loathe the idea of airing dirty laundry out in the public like this, you're leaving me with little fucking choice. Please e-mail me now so we don't need to "talk" via these comments (and if you e-mailing me gets you out of these comments for a little, maybe you'll calm the fuck down).

We fired Jeremy for this horseshit - did you learn nothing?

Seth

Why the baseball static on a movie website? Go to a game already!
Sox suck
Yankees suck
Go Marlins!
Yeah, that's right. The proud, the lowest-paid. The guys who have to share a stadium with the Dolphins. May the fish drink your milkshakes!

Well I think that was pretty much the best review ever. Trading Places is a crappy movie, but I still like it and now I have a justification!

fools

BRAVO!
BRAVO!!!

best.fool's.day.joke.ever.

great idea!

ENCORE!!!

This is the greatest Pajiba thread ever. Good fun. I wonder if instead of an april fools article, you guys are doing april fools comments? The "passwords to the site" bit might have been pushing just a little.

If not, still a great read - flame on!

Mercy! What an INCREDIBLE idea for an April Fool's joke - all the Eloquents and even good ol' Dustin hisself pretending to be all pissed off!

Forget it, people. You truly fooled me last year with the great 'Sister Act 2' review, I won't let you get away with it again.

You're ALL in on the joke now, is that how its going to be? No wonder BSlim has been conspicuously absent on this thread. I feel so left out. And paranoid. ALWAYS paranoid, but even more so now.

Nyah nyah nyah nyah! Dustin's in trou-ble!

Seriously, Stace, that shit's not helping. -- RR

I'm assuming this whole thing, including the original review, is an April Fool's joke.

I'm assuming this whole thing, including the original review, is an April Fool's joke.

You know what, Seth?

Air that shit.

I think it is high time that everyone here knows exactly how egotistical, heavy handed, and douche-y that hipster wannabe, Dustin, really is.

Ummm ... actually, Seth: You fired Jeremy. I didn't have anything to do with it. Dude was one of our best writers, and you let him go for what? You want to talk about dirty laundry? -- DR

I see someone let Jealous Jen out of her cage again.

Wow, Stacey. You're a dumb bitch.
And who gave Seth keys to this place? I thought he was like the retarded kid on your T-ball team you gave a glove and let stand in left field during the sixth inning. He gets to bat?

Oh shut up, Eli.

Someone needs to fill me in on the specifics of Jeremy's firing, because I've always wondered what happened to that guy.

Oh, shit, this is getting interesting.

What did happen with Jeremy, pray tell?

You folks make April first the most fun. And I even liked the review, it left me shaking my head just like my poetry classes in college.

Hehehe, who knew that one well-timed comment over at Quizlaw could bring this adventure to a whole new level?

Do I smell a Fools Day joke going on here?

Dude. Seth. Look, I know what you said at the bar the other night but do you really think it's smart to be airing this shit in public? Things have gotten a little out of hand here today but I think you need to rise above. I had a long talk with Dustin and I agree, your concerns are founded but seriously, off line dude. Off line.

Oh, what the fuck. That's fucking it. I'm done, I'm out, I'm gone. Seriously. Now we're gonna start acting like a gossip circle?

Dustin, look, I appreciate the opportunity and all, but this is too much. I've lived with the downward turn in the sites content, I've lived with your condescending emails to my reviews, and I've lived with you hacking them to pieces as well. Thanks, but I'm through.

Ranylt, you write beautifully. I really enjoyed that review, much more than I could ever have enjoyed that movie. Please don't give up on the few of us who have not completely lost our minds. Although at this point, it may just be Kolby, Riles, Skittimus and a handful of us lurkers left when you return.

Also, I would like to take this moment to offer everyone (especially TK, Vermillion, Stacey and Dustin) a hit of my virtual blunt. There's far too much misdirected anger here today, and I think we would all appreciate it if you could just mellow out a tad.

Puff puff pass, people.

Yes, Dustin, I did fire Jeremy. Would do it again. And you know it was because of the shit going on between him and some of the comments (not to mention between him and one of the other staffers). But at least he had the decency to keep it mostly behind closed doors.

This thing here is just making me a little ill.

Fuck the business - we've been friends for a long time now. And this feels an awful light like the quick implosion we had with a certain law school roommate (hey Cohad, how ya doin?!), and I don't want to see this go down that path. So take a deep breath and e-mail me back, please.

I don't like being distracted from real work when it's not dick and fart jokes that done be distracting me.

Hmph. And I thought we were friends, Prisco.

Guess that's another name I'll be crossing off my xmas card list.

Dustin, Seth --

Cool your jets. Let's not do this in front of the help.

Dan

Preach TK! If he inserts one more unnecessary comma in one of my perfectly structured sentences I'm gonna throw my laptop at his ego-inflated melon. Sheesh.

Gonna throw this out there cause no one else has yet... how many people have forgotten what day it is?

I happen to know that Phillip's blow-up doll is of Karen O., probably because it facilitates those "O-Face" jokes much more easily.

can i go way out on a random branch and ask whether this is an elaborate april fool's joke for all the lurker commenters and that you pajiba elite are in on the gag?

pretty please? i don't like it when mommy and daddy fight.

You know what, Seth? I started this site with Jeremy. You had no fucking right, man -- and I don't care what happened in law school. He was one of the original writers, and I still -- to this day -- have no idea why you felt so threatened by the guy. But whatever, man. You did what you had to do. And there's not anything we can do about it now. So, let's just let it go before this gets out of hand. -- DR

Not that anybody is listening to little ole me, but-
Ranylt- I usually come here to find out new things to Netflix. Now I'm off to Wikipedia (or some Pajiba-approved encyclopedic site). I learn something new everyday.
I do have to say, though, that this review seemed very... unfocused. It seemed more about an ideoloogy than a movie that was underappreciated. Abbreviate, and quell the hate.
Yours,
Bees

C'mon. Nyah nyah nyah. You're better than that. You angered an army of patties for the death of Joshua Jackson. Just because Dustin's all up on the rag doesn't mean you have to get retarded. That's Seth's job.

Things have deteriorated so much in these parts that the only bright spots left in my day are the awesome sweet commentators like Zoe and everyone else who's ever posted a compliment my way.

Just sad, guys. Our readers deserve better.

Is this some vast April Fool's joke that everyone planned in advance? Somebody, please tell me that's it, because this is surreal.

I feel like I'm watching The Hills...a fake reality show.

The chair! Give him the chair!

"...have no idea why you felt so threatened by the guy."

Yeah, you're right. I felt "threatened" because he's gay and I'm uncomfortable with my sexuality. You caught me.

That's not what I mean, Seth. And you know it. Don't play the gay card. -- DR

Well us readers definitely deserve better than this shite review, I'll give you that Ranylt.

Happy April Fool's Day, y'all.

My eyes are burning from reading this clusterfuck of a joke, but it was worth it.

Fucking loonies, all of you.

Holy flame-war! People, relax!

Ranylt, I disagree with your mostly negative review of Trading Places. While it will never be confused with classic comedies such as The Odd Couple, Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein, A Day At The Races, and Meatballs (I was going to say Freddy Got Fingered, but the air 'round these parts is a bit intense for such a stab at humor), it is a good example of film as junkfood. Despite its flaws - it's a bit long, the climactic scene in the trenches of Wall St. is nearly impossible to follow, and it does lag in sections - it's a fun little flick that stops one from channel surfing. Ackroyd is hilarious as uptight uber-WASP Louie, Denholm Elliot is an underrated bright spot in the film, and the rest of the cast (at worst) avails themselves well to their roles. Trading Places is not the film you watch on the all-so-important Third Date. It's the flick you pop in after a few rounds of whatever booze you and your friends overindulge for some mindless laughs and entertainment.

Oh, and since everyone's a bit busy sniping at each other (Mommy! Daddy! Please stop fighting!!!), I'll say it - Jamie Lee Curtis' two topless scenes in the film helped propel me from boyhood to manhood. So there.

Oh come on, reveal this as a joke already. You've run out of clever things to say.

This is fucking pathetic.

I'm taking the month off. I'll see you bickering assholes in May. Maybe.

Hey, this comment section is almost better than last year when (retarded) people really believed that you picked Sister Act as the best movie evah!

And I liked the review.

The gay card. Is that the Ace of Heeeeeeeyys!
Or the queen of clubs?

Wow! Love the comments today. True, I don't read them often enough to know if this happens often even though I get the feeling it's much worse today.

Is this you annual April Fools joke??

Also, I like turtles.

Great Carlson, just fucking great. You couldn't have taken off BEFORE writing the review of my favorite season of my favorite TV show ever? Seniority my ass. I told you that was the one I wanted. I begged you to pick something else and you took it out of fucking spite. You are such an asshole.

Hey - if anyone wants sangria recipes, come on over to the Trade Round up thread. Muah!

I complemented you too, Ranylt! Sheesh I can't get any recognition here. Damn site.

Recognition! Recognition! Sorry, I just didn't have it in me to scroll all the way back up through that war of words to locate everyone I should have. Mea culpa. I love you too. --RR

Can I take over Daniel's reviews? I'm better at it than him anyway.

Okay, when is one of the staff gonna shout April Fools! then?

`Cause if this isn't a prank, it is as Daniel said, scarily unprofessional, and I'll get more than a few readers running. It's bitchy and scathing sure, but not with one ounce of intelligence

Uh oh, Beckylooo's upset at me. I totally fear for my position.

I'm voting for Hillary.

As a twice a week poster, I do really like this site. I usually try to point my friends in this direction when they are curious about a movie or if I find stuff worth reading. Most of your are intelligent and my grammatical superiors and a fun read.

Sometimes we have to just back off the throttle when we get pissed and just breath and take a break and remember what is important. Most of us come here because we have hated what the movie industry has become and need an outlet for that agnst knowing deep down inside that nothing is going to change.

Dustin, I just want to say that I enjoy this bit of intellectual fresh air that is your site and to keep fighting the good fight. BTW I agree with you when it Comes to the first Father of the Bride.

Commenting regulars...remember most of you are on the same side. If a review really bothers you just move on, why waste more time?

As for me, Trading Places had its moments. But it is what it is, a mass produced early 80s feel good American movie with underlying race issues. Is is perfect, no. But given the time it was made it fit the tenor of America and it was made to make $$$ with some of the biggest stars of that period. It was not out to dethrone Citizen Cane, Godfather, or the Caine Mutiny...it was made for a laugh and supplied some decent ones.

I look forward to continue reading the passion most of you bring here.

i need to stay off the internets on April 1. it is starting to make me dizzy.

You know what? This is too much. I'm shutting down the comments while I still have a staff left. If any of you have any more grievances to air, just email me privately, OK? -- DR