Zooey Deschanel Does Not Care For Your Comments, Internet
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Zooey Deschanel Does Not Care For Your Comments, Internet

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | August 6, 2013 | Comments ()

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A popular maxim among both celebrities and the people who write about celebrities (i.e., us) is “don’t read the comments,” and there is some validity to that. We have one of the best comment communities on the Internet here at Pajiba, and even I feel like not reading comments on some days. You’re humming along, having a perfectly fine day, and then some sh*thead calls you lame for some trivial bullsh*t (like starring out the “I” in sh*t), and you’re like “F*ck, there goes the fine day I was having.” It gets under your skin. It weighs on you. It brings out all your insecurities and makes you overthink everything and, at times, completely lose your ability to write something without worrying that someone is going to murder you below the line, yell at you for a typo, bitch because you left something out, or call your mom a whore. I’ll leave a post somedays, come back 20 minutes later and see that there are 30 comments on it already, and I’m already thinking, “Oh, what the f*ck did I do wrong this time?” Or you wake up at 3 a.m. after four hours of sleep because you feel some weird obligation to get your To Do List review up as soon as humanly possible, and then someone yells at you because of a typo in a review for a movie that 47 people saw and you’re like, “Why didn’t I just continue sleeping?”

If you try to raise the issue, commenters can get even more vitriolic and call you a thin-skinned douchebag who shouldn’t be writing for the Internet, because if you can’t write 1,000 words and edit it twice without missing a misspelling, then you’re a goddamn yokel who doesn’t deserve to have his words on the Internet. Stop whining, you goddamn baby, and PLEASE GET A F*CKING EDITOR.

To those people I say, go fuck yourselves. (Oops. Did I forget to star that out?) You don’t want people writing for the Internet who are completely immune to criticism because 1) they’d be incapable of accepting some of the necessary feedback, and 2) they’d be psychopaths, which might be fun for a while, but after eight seasons of “Dexter,” even charming, charismatic psychopaths can get stale. It’s why I like Will McAvoy’s mission to civilize on “The Newsroom,” but to admit that is to show sympathy for Aaron Sorkin’s point of view, which will get you called a smug douchebag, and then you’re like, “Fuck, there goes my decent mood again.”

Alas, it’s the Internet. We’re all unfeeling assholes who make a living criticizing other things so we ought to be treated as such, right? You take the good with the bad, and you try to wait until the end of the day to read the comments so you don’t end up spending all day feeling miserable about yourself because some anonymous dickhead told you that you’re the worst thing on the Internet because you left some “Lost” character out of a television list. WHY ARE YOU EVEN WRITING A LIST? WHAT IS THIS, BUZZFEED?

So it goes.

You know who else has a problem with Internet commenters? Zooey Deschanel, as she told Marie Clarie:

It’s just attacking who I am. A lot of times it doesn’t have to do with what I get paid to do. It has to do with, ‘Oh, you stupid person.’ Even I get slammed and overwhelmed by how negative the Internet can get, and I’m an adult. They say, ‘You don’t belong, you don’t deserve this because here’s why, and let me find an intellectual argument for why you wearing pink or cuff sleeves or a bow makes you not worthy of your accomplishments. Everything you’ve done doesn’t matter because you wore the wrong thing or you speak in a way that’s feminine or you identify yourself as feminine.

And I just think that’s bullshit. And smart people are doing it, and that’s surprising to me. I’ll give them being smart, but they’re being very shortsighted. I don’t pay any mind to it, but it’s pretty shocking how when you give people anonymity - it’s like the worst of human nature.”

Sing it, sister.

It only hurts because we love you and seek your constant approval.


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