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Zach Braff Follows up Garden State By Taking a Dump On Your Chest

Oh, But It'll be a Whimsical Dump! / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | May 21, 2009 | Comments (15)

Say what you want about Garden State (and we’ve devoted plenty of copy to loving it initially, falling out of love with it, and then defending it against the massive backlash) but at least the damn movie wasn’t What Happens in Vegas. Braff had a style — it wasn’t a particularly original one, and it slapped you in the face with quirk, but at least it was a style.

But now the man is moving on to write, star, and direct in a romantic comedy that sounds as studio as it gets. I mean: It stars Cameron Diaz, for God’s sake. And it’s called Swingles. Swingles! That’s like Swingers and a can of Pringles, right?

Here’s the logline: It “centers on a bachelor who is dumped by his wingman and teams up with a sharp-tongued woman he can’t stand in order to meet singles.” Barf. It sounds like every other forgettable studio romantic comedy. I’d offer examples, but I’ve forgotten them all.

And Braff quit “Scrubs” for this? Swingles. He should’ve ruined Fletch when he had the chance.


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Comments

"Swingles" are dingleberries that tried to leave home, but got caught up on a stray hair... Forever stuck in a limbo of despair, the Swinglet can oftentimes be heard singing songs of sadness...

Posted by: Skitz at May 21, 2009 11:03 AM

Mmm. Pringles. Dustin, please stop feeding my potato chip addiction.

Posted by: tamatha at May 21, 2009 11:08 AM

Swingles are the dingle berries you get on a particularly hot 'n' humid day. Which could aptly describe Cameron Diaz' face, as well.

Posted by: David at May 21, 2009 11:22 AM

Any man who can't meet a woman on his own is a looser. LOOOOOSER. I never went out with any man who had a wingman.

Posted by: BWeaves at May 21, 2009 11:28 AM

Swingles are the much more serious, adult version of the chicken pox but they are caught at certain (how to put this delicately) clubs in which you are not plouging your own spouse.

Posted by: admin at May 21, 2009 11:31 AM

Oh, this just stinks of Camerach Diaff car-crash. The only way it could be more awful would be for...

No, I've got nothing.

Posted by: Caspar at May 21, 2009 11:33 AM

That would make a good comment diversion- dream cast for a new Fletch. I would lean for a character more along the lines of the books.

Regarding Swingles: let me guess, he ends up begrudgingly falling in love with his new wingwoman, loses her over some misunderstanding, then gets back with her in the end.

I'll pass... if I want to see that, I'll just watch every other romcom ever made. In fact, I just wrote one myself during my morning constitutional.

Posted by: logar at May 21, 2009 11:38 AM

I used to think Cameron Diaz was on okay chick.

I can't believe I used to think that.

She has become intolerable. Just the SIGHT of her is sickening.

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at May 21, 2009 11:49 AM

That picture of Braff would be much better if in the center of his shirt was a picture of his large, disembodied head. It would be so ironic.

Posted by: katy at May 21, 2009 12:29 PM

I'm going to say it: If this movie is anything close to the hilarity that was "The Sweetest Thing" I'm FUCKING in!


Posted by: Heathen at May 21, 2009 1:19 PM

I used to think Cameron Diaz was on okay chick.
I can't believe I used to think that.

I think she was. Before she carved out a niche in the rom-com market, I thought she had a shot at being a decent actress. I liked her in Any Given Sunday; she played the asshole well. I hated Being John Malkovich, but at least she was exploring different types of roles. Somewhere she stopped doing that and started playing crap roles.

Posted by: Brie at May 21, 2009 1:58 PM

I hated Garden State, but I love Zach Braff in Scrubs, and I really want to like Natalie Portman in something. Trouble is, she picks some of the worst parts I've seen, and then stops caring when she hates the role. (Star Wars: Episode II & III)

Please star in something I like, I'm really hoping for it.

Posted by: George at May 21, 2009 5:55 PM

I read in an interview recently that Braff went to Israel and was thinking about writing a movie about a Jewish American checking out Israel... That sounds like it could be good.

Posted by: Max at May 21, 2009 6:46 PM

Max, she's gonna be in a Jim Sheridan movie out later this year. That could be good.

I never managed to figure out how Braff got Portman, Sarsgaard, and Holm for Garden State. I don't think it was a bad film, it just wasn't a very good one.

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