Pajiba

Actually I can kinda see Dan Ackroyd as Ranger Smith ...

Wait, what the fuck am I doing even commenting on this? A bear that steals pic-a-nic baskets, his two-foot-tall conscience and the park ranger that tries to stop him -- this was barely enough plot to sustain a seven-minute cartoon, much less an actual movie (and who the fuck is Rachel?). I'd rather watch 90 minutes of a cat taking a nap.

Wait, actually I already spent 90 minutes watching a cat take a nap yesterday. And then it got up, yawned, arched its back and used one of my stepmother's good chairs as a scratching post.

THAT will be more entertaining than a Yogi Bear movie.

And ... the Banana Splits get shafted again.

"Uh-oh, CHON-go!"

I got that, BWeaves, I meant he would make a better live-action Ranger Smith because he ... kinda looks like him a little. Which is pretty fucking pathetic if you think about it long enough, me actually sitting here wasting my time rearranging the cast of a "Yogi Bear" movie.

Also pathetic: The thought going through my head that at some point they're going to get down to making a "Deputy Dawg" movie.

When I was a kid only the losers like Yogi.

Oh, and in total badass news, I just wanted to inform y'all that I've fed a bear a marshmallow with my mouth like Hud does in the video.

Completely fearless motherfuckers! (It should be noted that I was the only adult who chose to partake in this activity which was clearly intended for children)

TJ Miller was also the funniest (read: the only funny) part of Bruce McCulloch's short-lived show Carpoolers. The show was not good, but his character Marmaduke was kind of amazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5YcUDAdYMU

BWeaves, Ranger Smith was, as you might imagine, Yogi's nemesis, the guy tasked with trying to extract promises that Yogi would give up his crack/picnic basket habit and mend his filching ways. IIRC, he wasn't much of a villain, he was more likely to try to talk some sense into Yogi than, you know, tranquilize him with a dart gun and ship him from Jellystone to Alberta, and then sell Boo-Boo to the zoo, and tie Cindy to the railroad tracks ...

Now that I look at that, it's clear to me that, in the Cold War era, Yogi represented the thieving Soviet Union, Boo-Boo his conscience the scolding United States, picnic baskets were the nuclear football, and Ranger Smith was everyone else -- the appeasers and sanctioners and other fellow travelers.

And Cindy represented a good shaggy lay.

It's all in how you look at it.

You guys just aren’t seeing the possibilities here. This could be the greatest movie ever. All they have to do is go for the R raiting. Something like Yogi Bear on Brokeback Mountain. Yogi and Ranger Smith discovery their long suppressed love for each other. While Cindy Bear and BooBoo embark on a relationship filled with pain, depression and drugs. Picture Richard Gear and a psychotic gerbil.

Cindy was a whore. Am I the only one who wants to cuddle that bear? It's just so...fluffy...and fond of marshmallows...must hug teddy...
p.s. Don't ever let me into nature by myself, I'm pretty sure I'd end up eaten.