MV5BMTY0NzAzNjQ4M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNzk5ODM3._V1._SX485_SY352_.jpg

Vin Diesel To Blow More Sh*t Up

By TK | Trade News | August 27, 2009 | Comments ()

By TK | Trade News | August 27, 2009 |


MV5BMTY0NzAzNjQ4M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNzk5ODM3._V1._SX485_SY352_.jpg

I know, I know. You're all dying to hear the latest XXX news.

Hello?

Is anyone there?

HEY! I'm talking here, people.

Goddamnit.

Fine. Let's get this over with so I can get back to drinking, and you louts can get back to doing whatever you do that wastes our planet's oxygen.

Ericson Core (which can't possibly be a real name) has signed on to direct XXX: The Return of Xander Cage for Sony pictures. For those who've blacked out the memory, the first XXX movie starred Vin Diesel as Xander Cage, an extreme sports star/anarchist who got drafted by the a secret government agency (*eyeroll*) to be a sort of meathead James Bond. He fought a bunch of Eastern European bad guys, jumped off of things, banged a skeevy stripper and probably gave the herp-a-derp to Asia Argento. It was so shitballs retarded that of course they made a sequel. Except that Diesel developed, I dunno, standards or some shit (actually, I believe he wanted too much money), so the ball-smashingly wretched XXX: State Of The Union was filmed without him, and Ice Cube became the newest dipshit in the XXX program. Personally, I'm of the opinion that if Ice Cube is the best you can do, just don't make the damn movie. That's a goddamn sign, if you ask me.

Vin Diesel. Ice Cube. A real pair of juggernauts there.

Anyway, Diesel has apparently realized that he's not getting any decent roles anymore (I blame The Pacifier and his inability to play more than one character), and after forcing the world to suffer through Fast And Furious, he's back with this.

I'm trying to think of a scenario wherein I could possibly be less interested, but I -

Oh, hell with it. I'm gonna drink a bottle of whiskey, and if I'm still conscious when I hit the bottom, I'm gonna knock myself the fuck out with the bottle.


Get entertainment, celebrity and politics updates via Facebook or Twitter. Buy Pajiba merch at the Pajiba Store.

2012 International Trailer | My Super Sweet 16 Slasher Soul Train Movie




Continue Reading After the Advertisement

Bigots, Trolls & MRAs Are Not Welcome in the Comments




Advertisement




The Pajiba Store


petr-store-pajiba.png






Privacy Policy
advertise