Pajiba

One time xXx was on tv and I didn't change the channel.

*hands in pajiba card*

Oh, for fuck's sake, Vin. You were a sort of hot anomaly for a while. Six or seven of the same god damned movies later, this is nothing more than a blatant ploy to suck up all the money you can before your body fails and you have to take acting lessons. In fact, I suggest you use whatever this makes (and it will make tons because stupid movies with plot holes you could drive a beer truck through are made popular by shit blowing up for no reason and against the laws of physics) to find some dried up old coot who maybe has some real chops and get him/her to teach you to open your damned mouth when you speak - or keep it shut and try out more than half a dozen facial expressions.

I like that the header pic makes it look like he's wearing a xXx promotional tank-top. Like the ones they give out at bars. When you win trivia.

i like vin diesel for his brilliant character turns. NOT.

just shut up and roll the sploidy movie.

i'll sit here and rub myself.

“Vin Diesel. Ice Cube. A real pair of juggernauts there.”

TK, most of the time you're barely tolerable but that line about Cube and Diesel is one of the funniest lines I’ve heard in a long time.

Boiler Point, Pitch Black, Saving Private Ryan, Iron Giant. As far as I can remember, that's the list of good Vin Diesel movies.

*sigh*

I was hoping that this day would never come. Long have I dreaded someone around here asking, "hey wait a second, is Xtreme some kind of superfreak xXx fan?' Well, the answer to that would be a resounding 'FUCK NO!'. I can't recall the specifics of why I chose this moniker, but I can say with certainty that it was many, many years before anyone around here ever heard of Vin.

Apparently Vin Diesel is a D&D fan -- or at least a former fan, considering he now has actual cool friends instead of needing to invent some -- so I'm willing to forgive him for nearly anything. Even Riddick, and that's asking a lot.

No one ever expected (nor should they) that Diesel would have range and chops and be able to emote on cue. He has one role to do and he does it so well that they've practically had to define an xXx genre in his name. Someday an overly-muscled bald-headed young white punk, with a glib-talking Hollywood producer pressure-inflating his marshmallow ego, is going to blow up some shit in some film and the critics will dismissively say he's just "doing Diesel".

For the record, I also like Ice Cube -- I think there are a number of movies to which he brought in some authentic gutter grit. Then he sold out, as anyone with a stack of bills staring them in the face is likely to do, and we got Are We There Yet. And Jesus wept.

Boiler Point, Pitch Black, Saving Private Ryan, Iron Giant. As far as I can remember, that's the list of good Vin Diesel movies.

I've also heard good things about Multi-Facial, the short film that I believe got him is SPR gig. I haven't seen it, but I am curious.

Oh, and KBalls - truly that was unnecessary. I'm sure that there is a way for you to express your distain that doesn't involve sexual violence towards women.

Wait a minute... don't "smartcars" also run on Diesel?
Extreme smartcars!! Monster smartcars!
Fuck yeah!

tamatha,
Replace the woman with another guy if you want. I'm just thinking aloud around here. And I don't know if you mispelled "disdain" that way on purpose, but if so, well played.

Wow, what a hater.

TK - I think you left out The Pacifier. Extreme babysitting!!!

He's dopey, not very talented, but I still find him hot and charming. I'll probably watch this on cable sometime, and like gp, rub myself.

He's dopey, not very talented, but I still find him hot and charming.

Posted by: Drake at August 27, 2009 1:20 PM
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Jeez fuck, and here I wasted my life trying to be smart and talented.

^^ I'm pretty sure the former is more accurate.

"I like that the header pic makes it look like he's wearing a xXx promotional tank-top. Like the ones they give out at bars. When you win trivia."

I owned that tank top - in more ways than one.

*Note to self: Buy box of Zingers. Mmmmmm Zingers*

Wait, kballs' comment got removed? I thought it was headed for EE stardom! Now how will I know if I've just been Diesled? You're worried they're going to make a movie out of it, aren't you?...

Lame. It was a joke about Vin Diesel's persona and ridiculous sexual acts. I am extremely disappointed in you, Dustin. Your rant-and-rave sessions about some movies have gone way farther than my comment and have actually been pretty hateful.