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The Worst Casting Decision Ever?

We’ve All Been Punk’d / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | October 23, 2008 | Comments (114)

All right. Maybe it’s not the worst casting decision ever, but come on: Ashton Kutcher as a hit man? Even in a comedy that’s a dumb idea. In fact, Ashton Kutcher in any movie that doesn’t involve his quick and brutal horror-movie dismemberment gets some consideration for worst casting decision ever.

In Five Killers, Kutcher will play a former hitman whose life is upended when someone from his past puts out a contract on him. Complications ensue. I’m sure it’ll be hilarious, as Robert Luketic has been attached as director. Luketic, Legally Blonde notwithstanding, is a god-awful director, evidenced by Monsters-in-Law and How to Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!. The premise is lame. The director is lame. Ashton Kutcher is lame. And I have no idea why I’ve bothered to write about it, except to offer this mini-diversion:

What is the real worst casting decision ever? I can see this one inspiring a future Guide.

I’m gonna go with Michael J. Fox, bless his heart, in Casualties of War.









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Comments

I always thought that Jason Alexander in Shallow Hal as the superficial playboy who pulls great ass but still somehow looks and acts like Jason Alexander ruined the movie.

Also, Shia LeBouf is a real life Jar Jar Binks and is just a big ol pile of fuck in every movie he is in except for A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints.

Posted by: Dave at October 23, 2008 5:21 PM

"Legally Blonde notwithstanding"? How is that drivel any better than the other flicks you mentioned?

Anyway, worst casting decision ever? Probably Ben Affleck as Jack Ryan in "Sum of all Fears." Previous Jack Ryans: Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford.

One of these things is not like the others.

Posted by: Nate at October 23, 2008 5:21 PM

As much as it pains me to say this, because he is my imaginary boyfriend and I am working up the courage to stalk him, Anthony Hopkins in "The Human Stain" was the most perplexing casting choice I've seen in a while. And Nicole Kidman as his leading lady was not much better.

Posted by: puregonzo at October 23, 2008 5:24 PM

Steven Seagal in Executive Decision. Mildly entertaining, eminently forgettable mid-nineties action movie, saw it with a bunch of friends when there wasn't anything better showing. Steven Seagal dies 15 minutes into the movie with as much drama as any other red shirt. (Oh no I spoiled the plot, please forgive me!) The entire rest of the movie we half joked at every twist and turn that it was Steven Seagal returning from the dead. Looking at IMDB now, Steven Seagal was listed as like the twelfth guy in the movie so he wasn't the headliner, but we all naturally assumed that he was the main character and were vaguely mystified at the time.

Posted by: stipe42 at October 23, 2008 5:26 PM

I'll have to go with Elisabeth Shue in "The Saint" for being a ditzy terrible scientist

Also, Denise Richards as Christmas Jones in that horrible awful 007 movie with Pierce Brosnan. I can't remember which one. They were all terrifying.

And Tom Jane in "The Mist". I love that movie to pieces but good god that man has the emotional range of an enema

Posted by: Alexa Castro at October 23, 2008 5:26 PM

Ashton Kutcher in anything is the worst casting job ever.

Posted by: Shaun at October 23, 2008 5:27 PM

I love that movie to pieces but good god that man has the emotional range of an enema

BWA!!!

Posted by: Julie at October 23, 2008 5:28 PM

Kirsten Dunst in Spiderman 1,2 & 3

Liv Tyler in The Incredible Hulk

The Cloverfield monster in Godzilla

Posted by: Showe at October 23, 2008 5:28 PM

Oh, and I'll go with Anne Heche as Marion Crane in the Psycho remake.

Posted by: Julie at October 23, 2008 5:29 PM

Oh and also, every movie with a sex scene from the last decade has inexplicably not cast Alyson Hannigan.

Posted by: stipe42 at October 23, 2008 5:30 PM

kate bosworth as lois lane.
especially when parker posey was on set.

Posted by: celery at October 23, 2008 5:38 PM

So, is this a remake of The Mechanic, with Kutcher in the Charles Bronson role? I think I just threw up in my mouth and swallowed it again. (Does that count as a candy flavor? Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans? I think Dumbledore ate a vomit flavored one once.)

Posted by: BWeaves at October 23, 2008 5:40 PM

Bill Paxton in everything other than True Lies and Weird Science.

Posted by: Eep at October 23, 2008 5:40 PM

Nod in particular to Twister.

Posted by: Eep at October 23, 2008 5:41 PM

Addendum:

Bill Paxton as Hudson in Aliens put him on the map.

"YOU WANT SOME TOO?!!?"

Posted by: Recondite at October 23, 2008 5:45 PM

Morgan Freeman as God in Bruce Almighty.

If you're going to get a black actor to play God, why not cast Jesus?

Posted by: Audiosuede at October 23, 2008 5:50 PM

Shut up! Legally Blonde is the best movie 4 evrs! Actually, I really like Legally Blonde and it's a great "back-drop" movie that you can play while your doing stuff. Like studying. To become a lawyer. Who wears pink.

Just kidding- I'm going to be a history person.

And, Tina Fey in Baby Mama. Why Tina!

Posted by: Emily at October 23, 2008 5:50 PM

I would have to say Meryl Streep in Mama Mia. Not that it would have been that great no matter what, but I like musicals and I just saw the real show in vegas a few weeks prior to the release and the character is suposed to be around 40 or so and she is pushing 60 and it was jarring for me.

Posted by: Alli at October 23, 2008 5:50 PM

I will go with:

Vince Vaughn - Psycho remake.

Posted by: Melody at October 23, 2008 5:51 PM

John Travolta in Battlefield Earth, a role Cruise was born to play...but seriously or not, Harrison Ford in the Sabrina remake leaps to mind.

Posted by: Adam C at October 23, 2008 5:52 PM

Tobey Maguire as Spiderman. Superhero? Girl, please. The man is dainty. Spiderman should not be able to fit into my jeans.

And I know this is shallow of me, but here goes: Daniel Craig in 007. I'm sorry to break this to you people, but the man is a butterface. Butthisface? Whatever. Dude is ugly, and the ONLY reason I watch Bond films is because I'm an unrepentant objectifier of beautiful men. Sue me.

Posted by: Amelia Bedelia at October 23, 2008 5:53 PM

How about John Lithgow as Eric Qualen in Cliffhanger?

Lithgow as an evil guy, fine. But as a tough guy? No. Just no.

Posted by: EricD at October 23, 2008 5:55 PM

Shia LeBouf


in everything he's been cast on.

It's time we send this creature, back to the trailer park from whence he came.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 23, 2008 6:00 PM

Liam Neeson in that Star Wars prequel, for the opposite reason. Any guy who can phone it in and STILL give the most believable performance in the movie is a TAD bit overqualified, n'est-ce pas?

Brad Pitt as Achilles. The day someone explains to me WHAT exactly that strange melange of British/American accent was supposed to be is the day I'll sleep easily for the first time since 2004.

Posted by: Ling at October 23, 2008 6:01 PM

The ape in Ed. Such a great, fun script, and wonderful casting all around, but that stupid monkey could not act its way out of a backwards baseball cap. I know some people will argue that it's not the poor, dumb animal's fault-he doesn't know any better, and if anyone's to blame, it should be his trainers. But look people, just because he could play Joey Tribbiani doesn't mean he gets a free pass from me.

Posted by: Sabrina at October 23, 2008 6:02 PM

Alli: I kinda agree about Merrill Streep in MamaMia, but I think Pierce Brosnan trumps her. At least she could sing. It's kinda like opera, where they cast a 40 year old 300 lb soprano to play Juliet in "Romeo and Juliet." My sister and I laughed our asses off every time Bronsnan screwed up his face to squawk. I decline to call it sing.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 23, 2008 6:07 PM

"How about John Lithgow as Eric Qualen in Cliffhanger?"

Yes... Oh yes. YES INDEED. SWEET CRIPES THAT WAS LAUGHABLE! YEEEES! Guh.

I can't think of anything off the top of my head, but it sure as hell would be a hoot to see either Holly Hunter or McConocantfindashirt attempt Shakespeare or a non-western period piece.

Oop! Just thought of one - Timothy Dalton as Bond. NONONONO!

Posted by: Skitz at October 23, 2008 6:11 PM

I'll keep mentioning it until you people watch it:

David Ogden Stiers as Martian Manhunter.

Posted by: Jay at October 23, 2008 6:14 PM

Eep, ragging on Bill Paxton!?

Bill Paxton of Aliens . . . of Weird Science . . . of True Lies? Bit player in The Terminator, Stripes and Near Dark? Disclosure: I didn't even mind him in Tombstone, of which he's wasily the weakest part, even accounting for Jason Priestley. Why? It's Bill Paxton, man.

Personally, I could never really buy Willem Dafoe as Jesus in The Last Temptation of Christ. Just never really gelled for me.

Posted by: Squrrox at October 23, 2008 6:16 PM

Squrrox-
You are right. He was also good in Aliens. I don't dislike the guy at all, I just think he was made to play his character in True Lies, and whenever he gets a lead, he's basically that guy trying to play someone serious.

Melody-
Really? I thought the movie was pretty unnecessary, but I actually thought Vaughn was excellent in it. Maybe I have to revisit.

Posted by: Eep at October 23, 2008 6:26 PM

Colin Farrell in Alexander.

Actually, the entire cast of Alexander. That was such a monstrosity.

Posted by: figgy at October 23, 2008 6:39 PM

Zack Efron in anything that requires he play a male character.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 23, 2008 6:43 PM

Jack Black in King Kong.

Posted by: MRN at October 23, 2008 6:44 PM

Eep, Vaughn just never really did it for me in that movie. My view may be skewed as I simply hate the remake.

Figgy, excellent choice.

Posted by: Melody at October 23, 2008 6:45 PM

Emma Watson as Hermione Granger.

Posted by: jotunes at October 23, 2008 6:46 PM

Hmm, gonna have to go with Zac Efron in Hairspray FTW. I have come to terms with the fact that Hollywood will continue to skull-fuck my fond memories through remakes, but keep your floppy-headed, Hudgens-groping, metrosexual HSM taint far, far away from my John Waters, you son of a monkey.

Posted by: KStar at October 23, 2008 6:47 PM

...Didn't Kutcher already play a hitman in Lucky Number Sleven? Or is this crack I've smoked bad?

Posted by: popejenn at October 23, 2008 6:49 PM

I take it back. Emma Watson in anything and everything. Including life.

Posted by: jotunes at October 23, 2008 6:54 PM

Bill Paxton both acted in, and directed, Frailty, and if you have not seen that movie you have no business talking about Bill Paxton at all.

Go Netflix that bitch now. Srsly.

Posted by: Jerce at October 23, 2008 6:59 PM

Didn't Kutcher already play a hitman in Lucky Number Slevin?

No, Josh Hartnett was on the run from hitmen and gangsters.

Crack is Wack!

Posted by: Jay at October 23, 2008 7:08 PM

Jerce, YES. Frailty was awesome.

Posted by: Ginginho at October 23, 2008 7:13 PM

...Didn't Kutcher already play a hitman in Lucky Number Sleven? Or is this crack I've smoked bad?

Actually that was Josh Hartnett, but I don't know if the crack was actually bad... if it saves the world one of these mediocre actors it was probably very good.

I still think Tom Hanks in The Da Vinci Code. I had no love for the book but I still could not buy him in that role.

Posted by: Popsi_zen at October 23, 2008 7:15 PM

Morgan Freeman as God in Bruce Almighty.

That is kinda true. His voice should have been God. Like it was in March of the Penguins. What do you mean, he wasn't God? Shut up!

My picks:

The entirety of the Star Wars prequels, except maybe (maaaaaaybe) Ewan McGregor. Mace Windu was cool, but was clearly out of place in that mire.

Halle Berry as Storm. Yeah, I want to slam her harder than a car door, doesn't mean I thought she was any good in the role.

Anna Paquin as Rogue. See Halle Berry.

Nick Cannon in anything he has done. Including the marriage of Mariah Carey.

Ben Affleck as Daredevil. I, unlike so many of you, absolutely refuse to hate the guy. But I will concede that this was not a wise decision.

Keanu Reeves as Constantine. See Ben Affleck.

Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane. What the hell?

Posted by: Vermillion at October 23, 2008 7:24 PM

Brad Pitt as Odysseus sounds about right to me.

Posted by: Becca at October 23, 2008 7:33 PM

I don't know if anyone saw the very mediocre movie Bobby but I thought Lindsay Lohan was pretty awkward in that film. Hayden Christensen was a pretty crappy choice for Annakin Skywalker too. The new old guy who plays Dumbledore in the Harry Potter movies is too intense. Everyone's always hated Sofia Coppola in Godfather III. Adam Sandler as a lothario in any of his last few movies(though I don't think those movies could be saved). Tom Hanks in The Davinci Code.

Posted by: becks at October 23, 2008 7:35 PM

And by right, I mean wrong.

Posted by: Becca at October 23, 2008 7:35 PM

And by right, I mean wrong. For the part. Right for the "worst casting decision ever" category.

Posted by: Becca at October 23, 2008 7:36 PM

Harrison Ford as Jack Ryan, sorry, but no, HELLL NAW, Alec Baldwin IS Jack Ryan as far as I'm concerned.

Not even gonna mention Affleck in that role, although he was "da' bomb" in Phantoms, yo.'

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 23, 2008 7:46 PM

Tom Cruise as a hit man? I mean the kind that kills people, not the Scientologist kind.

Oh, wait ...

Posted by: bucdaddy at October 23, 2008 7:46 PM

Renee Russo in the Thomas Crown Affair, as some sort of "sexpot" awkward creature from the land of Botox.

WHat the FUCK was THAT about?!?!?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 23, 2008 7:50 PM

Bweave, I've totally eaten one of the vomit flavored beans, and they really do taste like vomit. It almost causes this weird reaction where your stomach goes "wait, we're vomiting now? Fuck, why didn't anyone tell me?" and then you get nauseous. Not recommended.

Seriously, Pierce Brosnan as James Bond. Even Timothy Dalton was slightly better. Any time there is a Bond film with Brosnan on reruns, I want to reach into the tv and slap the cock out of his mouth. Whereas Daniel Craig, while not pretty (I'll give you that Amelia, is far and away the best Bond in years, and sometimes I wonder if he's even better than Connery.

Haven't come to a decision on that one yet.

But honestly, between Brosnan's Bond and Maguire's Emo-Spiderman, it's a battle to the death of who raped the corpse of my favorite childhood characters.

Posted by: munkymack at October 23, 2008 7:51 PM

Bweave, I've totally eaten one of the vomit flavored beans, and they really do taste like vomit. It almost causes this weird reaction where your stomach goes "wait, we're vomiting now? Fuck, why didn't anyone tell me?" and then you get nauseous. Not recommended.

Seriously, Pierce Brosnan as James Bond. Even Timothy Dalton was slightly better. Any time there is a Bond film with Brosnan on reruns, I want to reach into the tv and slap the cock out of his mouth. Whereas Daniel Craig, while not pretty (I'll give you that Amelia, is far and away the best Bond in years, and sometimes I wonder if he's even better than Connery.

Haven't come to a decision on that one yet.

But honestly, between Brosnan's Bond and Maguire's Emo-Spiderman, it's a battle to the death of who raped the corpse of my favorite childhood characters.

Posted by: munkymack at October 23, 2008 7:51 PM

Ashton Kutcher shouldn't be an actor in the first place. Just because you were in a boy band doesn't give you license to act.

Posted by: Lucas at October 23, 2008 7:52 PM

"Amelia, is far and away the best Bond in years, and sometimes I wonder if he's even better than Connery...."


*GAAAAAAASP*

BLASPHEMY! How DARE you!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 23, 2008 7:55 PM

Thank Jebus so many of you have been hitting the bullseye on a subject that has riled me since childhood: Why can Hollywood not cast an effective leading lady in a superhero movie?? My anger starts waaaaaaaayyyyyyyy back with 1978 Superman and Margot Kidder. That is one of my favorite movies ever and I can hardly look at the screen when she's on it. (Can you read my mind?)

Every year or so a new one comes out and I get my hopes up that maybe one of these slags will figure out how to do a little reading of source material and add a little intelligence and gravitas, but only to be met with utter fail. Kim Basinger in Batman? Kirsten Dunst in Spiderman?? Kate Bosworth in Superman Returns??? Mothereffing Katie Holmes in Batman Begins?!? A cardboard cutout of Tilda Swinton could act circles around these bitches.

Posted by: Clarence Boddicker at October 23, 2008 8:13 PM

i was gonna post my own idea until i realized i was staring at a motherfucking "yes on prop 8" advertisement in the middle of the page. when the fuck did you people start accepting advertising dollars from the closet-case ignorant fucks of the right wing?

Posted by: dan at October 23, 2008 8:20 PM

Worst casting decision ever: Al Pacino in Merchant of Venice.

As for the blah director, you forgot the awful, awful, awful 21. I mean, 'I think it's time for another close-up on computer-animated poker chips, guys.' Vomit.

Posted by: LB at October 23, 2008 8:27 PM

...A cardboard cutout of Tilda Swinton could act circles around these bitches....

Posted by: Clarence Boddicker at October 23, 2008 8:13 PM
----------------------------------

THAT was bit of awesome.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 23, 2008 8:32 PM

So I once had a friend who thought Rene Russo in the "naked dress scene" from The TCA was the hottest thing ever.

So when he go really stoned one day and told me he once had sex with a dead body in med school, I wasn't really surprised.

Posted by: MissSmilla at October 23, 2008 8:36 PM

Tom Cruise as a hit man? I mean the kind that kills people, not the Scientologist kind.

See, I thought that was kind of inspired. True, Vincent is a hell of a lot subtler, but he was making a kind of freaky sense, like a cult leader stridently religious person would.

Now, as for Tom Cruise being able to physically kick the ass of anyone with little body muscle and a pacifist bent, then yeah, that was weird.

So, I add Tom Cruise in all the Mission: Impossible movies. He wasn't fit to sniff Peter Graves' underwear. But I bet he has tried....

Posted by: Vermillion at October 23, 2008 8:43 PM

Amelia Bedelia I'm with you on both choices. Toady McGuire is more suited for Hobbitville than Super-Herodom.

As for Daniel Craig, he's ok looking, but I despised his take on Bond. He had no charm whatsoever, never approached debonair; he was just a maniacal thug in a suit.

I also thought Gwynnie Paltrow was all wrong for Iron Man.

Posted by: Cindy at October 23, 2008 8:45 PM

So when he go really stoned one day and told me he once had sex with a dead body in med school, I wasn't really surprised.

That's how my dad met my mom.

Posted by: Ashton Kutcher at October 23, 2008 8:47 PM

Hey, Rene Russo looked great in Thomas Crown Affair. It's not like the role called for Judi Dench--Russo needed to look hot, and she supplied it.

As for my vote for worst casting decision ever--I'm going all Shakespearean and nominating Much Ado About Nothing. Overall a good movie; I actually understood the lines (and even the jokes). A very young, pre-boob job Kate Beckinsale is in it, along with (rather unhistorically tanned) Emma Thompson (then still married to Kenneth Branaugh).

But Keanu Reeves? Keanu was born to play a stoned surfer dude (and no one else)

Posted by: True_Blue at October 23, 2008 8:51 PM

Well, I admired Keanu for at least trying to do some justice to John Constantine (and why the hell couldn't they call it "Hellblazer"?) (and it saddened me that they cut out his demon booty call pal, "come on, I know the backstory, put it back in for ME!"), but no, shouldnae been there in the first place. I suppose whoever could really play him could also play Casey from "Preacher", but I still don't know who that person would be, and I've thought about it many times. Almost as bad as deciding who'll be Wonder Woman.

Still, it gave me a cheap joke (though the joke only really worked on one person) for a Halloween costume. I put on a tie and raincoat, smoked and said "bollocks!" How was I any less authentic?

Posted by: Jay at October 23, 2008 8:55 PM

"... It's not like the role called for Judi Dench--Russo needed to look hot, and she supplied it..."

-------------------------------------------------


SWING and a miss...

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 23, 2008 9:01 PM

Anything Nicholson is in anymore, I can't see a character, I just see Nicholson acting like Nicholson. His persona overwhelms any role he takes. So is that miscasting? If you can get Jack, how do you NOT take him? But he stands a good chance of ruining your movie, or at least making it extremely hard to suspend disbelief and buy into the story.

Posted by: bucdaddy at October 23, 2008 9:11 PM

Wilford Brimley in Hard Target. The man who hawks life insurance and Quaker Oats firing arrows at people? Really? Also, License to Kill was pretty cool, and Dalton gets a pass on everything for his turn in Hot Fuzz.

Posted by: Reding at October 23, 2008 9:31 PM

i'm so glad i'm not alone in despising the casting mistakes of emma watson and michael gambon as hermione and dumbledore in the cinematic world of harry potter. their portrayals are so fucking *bitchy*, which is not the way those characters roll at all. lame.

Posted by: betsy at October 23, 2008 9:38 PM

Posted by: betsy at October 23, 2008 9:38 PM


RIGHT ON!


The only acceptable replacements for Richard Harris should have been:

Ian McKellen
John Hurt (I know, I know)

Or ......*drumroll*.... Patrick Stewart

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 23, 2008 9:54 PM

Worst Casting Ever = Adam Sandler cinema-raping The Longest Yard.

Posted by: JP at October 23, 2008 10:38 PM

There's a lot of love on here for Bill Paxton as a supporting actor and a lot of hate for him as a leading man.

I've never seen Frailty, but I thought he was awesome in A Simple Plan.

Posted by: EricD at October 23, 2008 10:44 PM

Hilary Swank in P.S. I Love You. Not only was that a sad attempt at a romantic comedy, but she is just not believable as a woman. Woman posing as man? Yes. Boxer who is tragically paralyzed and bites it while Clint cries in a corner? Sure. But girly girl with two gung-ho gal pals who go on a European adventure after her hot as HELL husband kicks it and she's feels guilty for flirting with a truly awkward Harry Connick Jr. (also not great casting btw)? Nope. Not now, not ever.

Posted by: clarkie at October 23, 2008 10:52 PM

1. Jack Black in the Holiday,beautiful person he is not
2. Jason Alexander in Pretty Woman
3. Shia Labeouf in INdy Jones 4
4. Jack Black in King Kong
5. pair of jeans in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants-duh assholes, pants!
6. Paul Reuben in Buffy the Vampire Slayer
7. George Clooney in Batman and Robin
8. Arnie the Governor in Batman and Robin
9. John McCain in Election 08
10. Barack H. Obama in Election 08
11. guy from Felicity in Scream 3
12. Tom Cruise in Int. with Vampire
13. Larry the Cable Guy in any movie

Posted by: sushi at October 23, 2008 11:23 PM

I never have time to read the Eloquents anymore (small children, yada yada), and I'm sad, because you people are funny.

Worst casting: Andie MacDowell in everything except L'Oreal ads, but especially Groundhog Day. That movie has grown on me greatly as I've gotten older and more settled (did I mention the small children?), but her toneless, affectless performance makes it damn near unwatchable.

Posted by: Erin MJ at October 23, 2008 11:33 PM

I'm sorry sushi but going to have to disagree with you on the Tom Cruise in Interview. After many viewings and scientific research it has been determined that no one else could have played femmi-has been better than Tom Cruise. Check on it, it's in Wikipedia.

PS. To show off my geeky-ness skills I was like "Ben Affleck wasn't in Phantom, that was Billy Zane." I can remeber seeing that movie with my baby-sitter at two dollar picture show in the morning kiddy film.

Posted by: EMily at October 23, 2008 11:37 PM

I can't believe I forgot this one,

Jennifer Aniston as the character she plays in everything:

Jennifer Aniston.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 23, 2008 11:37 PM

Brad Pitt as Achilles in Troy.

*shudder*

Katie Holmes in Batman Begins!

Posted by: figgy at October 23, 2008 11:40 PM

Agreed on Andie McDowell. Can't act for shit. She was so bad in Four Weddings and a Funeral... it was almost like her lines were dubbed.

Posted by: Eep at October 24, 2008 12:00 AM

"Andie McDowell. Can't act for shit. She was so bad in Four Weddings and a Funeral..."


Ooooh yeah, NO FUCKING way any right thinking person would even REMOTELY believe that someone would pick McDowell over Kristin Scott Thomas.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 24, 2008 12:02 AM

No, Josh Hartnett was on the run from hitmen and gangsters. Crack is Wack!

Jay, wow. Dude. They seriously look alike and have the exact same douche-like mannerisms. I can't really be faulted for getting them confused, right?

You guys won't revoke my Paji-Membership for that flub, right?

Posted by: popejenn at October 24, 2008 12:35 AM

P.S. Crack rots your sack!

Posted by: popejenn at October 24, 2008 12:37 AM

6. Paul Reuben in Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Are you fucking insane Sushi? Dude stole the show.

Posted by: EricD at October 24, 2008 1:14 AM

i didnt like renee z(elweger)cast in anything after "love and a .45; much respect to fans of empire records; after those, she went schwooschy face, to the point of nausea and/or disbelief in the plot turns just to put that shchhcooshy face on camera; and that one move where she played UNDER jude law and nicky kidman, her new expensive face actually helped her play a great(for her) role as a shwuchy face hill country person

Posted by: buckbanzai at October 24, 2008 1:15 AM

True_Blue, totally agree with Keanu Reeves in Much Ado About Nothing. My sister and I have a theory that his acting "method" involved people telling him that they stole his cheeseburger even though he's so hungry. Seriously all-star cast and Keanu.

Posted by: kelsy at October 24, 2008 1:26 AM

ooh and in dajarling lmd, luke wilson and adrian brody could have been interchangible, right down to their pouty, billmurray mannerisms; of course i loved loved the movie, but what do i know

Posted by: buckanzai at October 24, 2008 1:29 AM

i forget her first name but coppola's daughter in " godfather lll "!!!!too bad she was such a disaster. her inability to impersonate an actress freed her up to foist " lost in translation " on us. only the hollywood nepotism makes her employable.

Posted by: snake at October 24, 2008 2:51 AM

Nicole Kidman as Mrs.Coulter in the Golden Compass. She was supposed to be young, gorgeous and raven haired.

Posted by: io at October 24, 2008 6:09 AM

Ben Affleck wasn't in Phantom

Oh, no, it's plural, Phantoms. Billy Zane was "The Phantom".

Posted by: Jay at October 24, 2008 6:19 AM

A historical miscasting: Sue Lyon as Lolita. Her platinum haired sexpot posturing was totally wrong for a character that was supposed to be a bratty snot-nosed 12 year old.

Posted by: AdaHaze at October 24, 2008 8:21 AM

It's not a singular choice, but the entire cast of 21 was just wrong. When a key plot point of the book is how ethnic kids can scam casinos because the casinos don't think of them as legitimate high rollers, stocking the cast with 90210 rejects makes no sense whatsoever.

Posted by: MrC at October 24, 2008 8:47 AM

Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan in Rush Hour 3. I would have laughed more if Gary Coleman and Short Round pulled their puds and lit each other's farts for an hour and a half.

Where's the South Park Episode where Ratner shoves a cattle prod up my ass? Uhh. . . oh he's already done that by making me sit through a couple of his movies.

Posted by: bucslim at October 24, 2008 9:06 AM

Colin Farrell in Alexander.

Actually, the entire cast of Alexander. That was such a monstrosity.

Posted by: figgy at October 23, 2008 6:39 PM

But, figgy, there was all that making out with Colin Farrell and Jordan Catalano... that right there made it worth watching.

(Wait, did they actually make out, or was that the movie I was watching in my mind while that other movie was on TV in the background? ...You know what? It doesn't matter.)

Agreed on Frailty, awesome movie and I actually enjoy Bill Paxton muchly. That might be because I have never actually seen Twister.

I hated Nic Cage in Gone in 60 Seconds.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 24, 2008 9:10 AM

John Wayne as Genghis Khan in "The Conqueror"

Michael Keaton as Batman

Jim Carrey as Andy Kaufman in "Man On The Moon"

Casting decisions don't get much shittier than these.

Posted by: TMax at October 24, 2008 9:45 AM

TMax, it pains me to stick up for him, but "Man on the Moon" was actually the only Jim Carrey movie that I didn't despise him in. (Still haven't seen Eternal Sunshine...please don't hate me!)

Posted by: meaux at October 24, 2008 9:57 AM

Worst ever in no particular order:

Sofia Copolla (Godfather III)
Hayden Christiansin (Star Wars Episode II-III)
Natalie Portman (Star Wars Episode I-III)
Ben Affleck (Daredevil)
Allison Hannigan (Date Movie)

Worst on TV

Milo Venigmilia (Heroes, I know I spelled his name wrong, but I'm not going to help a shitty actor)
Everyone who was on War at Home
That lady who played Veronica Mars (Heroes)

That's all I can take

Posted by: George at October 24, 2008 10:14 AM

Meaux,

We're all allowed to like whatever we want, so no hate from this end (btw, congrats on making the EE List, great post too!)

This was covered here some time earlier, and I made the same comment. Ed Norton was up for that same role, and Carrey only got it because he had more box office power at the time. Norton playing Andy Kaufman would have been perfect casting & would probably have made that film one of my all-time favorites. But it wasn't meant to be, I guess.

Anyways, I don't put the words 'hate' and 'Canadian' together, they just don't fit- much like the words 'Bush' and 'President' in the same sentence, y'know?

Posted by: TMax at October 24, 2008 10:28 AM

And the winner IS:

Oh! It's a tie!

Mickey Rooney as an Asian man in "Breakfast at Tiffanys."

Sean Connery as an Asian man in "007-In My Golden Pants." (OK, I can't remember which Bond movie it was, but you know the one I'm talking about.)

Posted by: BWeaves at October 24, 2008 10:35 AM

Really, Ed Norton was up for it?! Okay, yes--he would have blown Jim Carrey out of the water hands-down.

(and now I'm realizing that I forgot to mention Taxi as one of my after-school favourites over in the Latchkey Kid thread....)

Oh hey, I'm glad you liked my moment of snarkiness. Kind of felt mean after posting it, but dammit, nobody messes with our benevolent overlords and gets away with it!

Posted by: meaux at October 24, 2008 10:48 AM

The conversation ends with Sofia Coppola as Mary Corleone. But you can start the conversation with

Anyone in Batman and Robin.

Tom Hanks hair in The Davinci Code.

Normally I would add everyone from the Star Wars prequels but I have come to the realization that it is Lucas' direction that is to blame. Most of the cast has been good to great in other roles in their careers, but everyone laid a huge turd in these except McGregor and McDiarmid (maybe Scots are the only ones who can overcome shitty Lucas dialog and direction).

Posted by: Ed Newman at October 24, 2008 11:03 AM

Barbra Streisand as the psychologist in the Prince of Tides. I wanted to stab myself in the eye with one of her french manicured nails.

She should have played Nolte's crazy twin sister.

Posted by: mswas at October 24, 2008 11:49 AM

Mickey Rooney as the "Chinaman" in Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Posted by: sedgemop at October 24, 2008 11:55 AM

Julia Roberts as a beautiful woman in ANYTHING. Ditto for Jennifer Anniston, and Cameron Diaz.

Joel Gray as Chiun in Remo Williams.

Keanu as Siddhartha, or Jonathon Harker.

Winona Ryder in anything that requires an accent.

Posted by: The Kilted Yaksman at October 24, 2008 11:56 AM

Gorman: Any questions?
[Hudson raises his hand]
Gorman: What is it, private?
Hudson: How do I get out of this chicken**** outfit?
Apone: You secure that ****, Hudson!

bill paxton is a legend, if i could party with any two guys it'd be him and that guy that plays the bongos naked

Posted by: killa cam at October 24, 2008 12:31 PM

Michael Keaton as Batman
meaux the question was bad casting, not brilliant.

Posted by: EricD at October 24, 2008 1:02 PM

EricD, my stance on Michael Keaton is firmly neutral--I'm afraid your beef is with my dear TMax.

Posted by: meaux at October 24, 2008 2:20 PM

Tara Reid in whatever that movie was where she played a scientist. Seriously?

Posted by: Nadha at October 24, 2008 3:00 PM

Tara Reid played an archeologist or something in that Uwe Böll classic, Alone in the Dark.

Posted by: Adam C at October 24, 2008 5:07 PM

Yes! @figgy, Collin Farrel as Alexander was the worst thing I have ever seen in my life.

Posted by: Carrie at October 24, 2008 7:01 PM

I did a quick ctrl+f.

And NO ONE has mentioned Keanu Reeves for The Day The Earth Stood Still.

Shame on you all.

Posted by: Fuggle at October 24, 2008 11:38 PM

james bond wasn't supposed to be debonaire.

and personally, my favorite bond is peter sellars.

Posted by: djfox at October 26, 2008 9:44 PM

Almost as bad as deciding who'll be Wonder Woman.

Posted by: Jay at October 23, 2008 8:55 PM

I'm pretty sure that role's gone to Aussie beauty Megan Gale?

Anybody know?

Posted by: BrisVegasBec at October 26, 2008 11:51 PM

Tom Jane as The Punisher.
Brad Pitt as Achilles in Troy.
Bryce Dallas Howard as Gwen Stacy in Spider-Man 3.
Topher Grace as Eddie Brock in Spider-Man 3.
Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne in Batman and Batman Returns.
Miranda Otto as Eowyn in The Lord of the Rings parts 2 and 3.
Plus everything Vermillion said.

And of course: Justin Chatwin as the great Son Goku in the upcoming Dragonball.

Posted by: JC at October 27, 2008 12:55 AM

maggie gylenhaal in Dark Knight....although when she exploded it made sense.

Posted by: beans at October 27, 2008 6:59 AM

I just looked up pictures of Megan Gale and wow, she's pretty much the perfect choice for Wonder Woman!

Posted by: becks at October 27, 2008 8:30 AM