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World's Least Talented Fake News Anchor Attempts to Break Will Ferrell's Glass Case of Emotion

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (39)



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I don’t know how familiar you youngsters are with Colin Quinn, but in the history of “Saturday Night Live,” he’s arguably one of the least talented cast members and inarguaby its worst Weekend Update fake anchor. The guy couldn’t deliver a line to Linsdey Lohan in an abandoned alley at 3 a.m. on New Year’s. He was horrid, so it’s might rich of Quinn to take to Twitter and trash Will Ferrell the day after Ferrell was awarded the Mark Twain Prize.

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Wait a second? They did drugs on “Saturday Night Live”? No way! You mean, the television show where John Belushi and Chris Farley got their start had a drug culture? Get. Out. Of. Town. And Will Ferrell — who delivered gibberish as Harry Carey and jumped around like a ninny as a cheerleader — partook in those drugs? Step back!

Dude: Anyone who has seen Anchorman had to know Ferrell was baked to the gooey center when he and Adam McKay wrote that script.

And “not bitter”? Really, Will Ferrell makes $20 million a movie, and Colin Quinn’s unemployment check barely registers $20 a day. If I were Colin Quinn, I’d be bitter, too. Not because of Will Ferrell, but because I’m so immensely untalented, because I can’t get a job, and because I chose the wrong goddamn profession. Colin Quinn has hosted two talk shows since he left “SNL.” One lasted 15 episodes, and the other lasted three (3). Thankfully, Adam Sander is around to give him the occasional film cameo so he can keep up his weight, although even Sandler probably only relents so Quinn will stop asking.

Quinn also delivered this rambling and mysterious spiel on Twitter.

“I mean wish me the best because on the other side, there’s some really heavy stuff that could come out about me too. Real bad stuff. I mean unforgiveable. Really bad and serious charges. So that’s kind of hanging over my head, as well. It’s ugly stuff. Stuff that I keep saying no, I’ll never do that again, then it’s like I wake up and it’s like OH MY GOD! You know? I’ve done things…I mean we all have…that can never be taken back. Nobody can control their desires…Am I right, or am I right? Terrible things.”

“Terrible things” is right! Have you seen those Weekend Update segments? You can’t even find any on YouTube because there were no highlights. It was dreadful, uneven, unfunny, stammering, and dull. Back before “The Daily Show,” you could typically rely on “Weekend Update” to deliver during even the worst episodes, but not when Colin Quinn was host. Instead of skipping everything else to watch “Weekend Update,” you fast-fowarded through Colin Quinn to watch the second-half skits. And no one likes the second-half skits. Colin Quinn made me miss Norm MacDonald, and Norm MacDonald only had two jokes: The one about O.J. and the one about David Haselhoff.

He was pretty good on “Remote Control,” though. And this brand of crazy probably bought him 10,000 new Twitter followers.

(Source: Uproxx)










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Comments

Quinn sucks. However, you don't know how happy I am to know this wasn't a piece about Ole Shark Eyes Munn getting cast in a Will Ferrell movie, as the title made me fear.

Also, bitch please. Quinn is never not coked to the gills.

Posted by: Courtney at November 1, 2011 5:05 PM

You know what Norm Macdonald joke you forgot?

You guessed it:

FRANK STALLONE

Posted by: aidan at November 1, 2011 5:13 PM

I completely forgot that Quinn ever did SNL at all. That's how bad he was. It says a lot that Denis Leary let every single friend he's ever had get at least a cameo at some point during Rescue Me but didn't even have Colin Quinn as an extra.

Posted by: Paultera at November 1, 2011 5:15 PM

Oh, and Quinn is also claiming that the entire Anchorman concept was his idea and that Ferrel stole it.

Posted by: Paultera at November 1, 2011 5:18 PM

You should read back through his Twitter feed over the past month or so. He's been doing some hard, nonstop, no-wink trolling all for the fun of getting a rise out of people. He was praising Gaddafi a couple weeks ago. The stuff today was all part of the gag.

Posted by: matt at November 1, 2011 5:29 PM

Actually Norm's best joke was the one about Frank Stallone

Posted by: PBR Streetgang at November 1, 2011 5:31 PM

Norm MacDonald was great as Weekend Update anchor - the only time SNL used him decently.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at November 1, 2011 5:33 PM

Whether or not this Twittering is actually conscious "fake" trolling, Colin Quinn has never been funny.

He was "OK", or "meh" if you prefer, on Remote Control, and he was abominababble on SNL.

Posted by: MM at November 1, 2011 5:53 PM

I remember he was a guest once on the Ben Stiller Show. He wasn't funny.

Posted by: Rob at November 1, 2011 6:17 PM

Colin Quinn was awful, but I have to disagree about Norm Macdonald. The guy was fantastic on Weekend Update. And his interview on Letterman after he was fired is one of my favorite things ever. This is it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tudRETrphxk

Posted by: zito at November 1, 2011 6:28 PM

Drunk tweets.

Posted by: greer at November 1, 2011 7:10 PM

Norm MacDonald is a good and decent man. Anyone who can simultaneously ruin and elevate an interview to hilarity when it's not even their interview is okay in my book.

http://www.noob.us/humor/norm-macdonald-making-fun-of-carrot-top-on-conan/

Funniest schmuck in the business... who isn't currently working in the business. Sports Show was awful but it was worth it for Norm.

Posted by: Jettison at November 1, 2011 8:09 PM

A never-was fake trashing a has-been. Slow news day I guess.

Posted by: logan at November 1, 2011 8:11 PM

Wo, wo, wo... say what you will about Quinn, but if you shit talk Norm Macdonald, I will find you and I will kill you, Liam Neeson style.

Posted by: sellout at November 1, 2011 8:40 PM

Colin Quinn is famously a comedian's comedian. Maybe he was bad on SNL (I wouldn't know I'm not old enough), and maybe he hasn't been wildly successful as a comedian, but he's definitely got some comedic chops. I mean, we all know how much success correlates to actual talent.

Posted by: Me at November 1, 2011 9:26 PM

Oh wow...a tiff involving a show that has not been interesting or funny in 20 years...and two of the "stars" are arguing...

Oh the vapors...my word...

Posted by: Diablo at November 1, 2011 9:44 PM

I love Norm MacDonald.

That's all I have to say.

Posted by: ChristianH at November 1, 2011 9:58 PM

sellout,

Do you also have a very particular set of skills?

Posted by: John G. at November 1, 2011 10:18 PM

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Posted by: Sara at November 1, 2011 10:52 PM

Yeah, Norm only had a couple jokes.

...

Or so the Germans would have us believe...

Posted by: Cody at November 1, 2011 11:00 PM

Norm McDonald wasn't that bad; I actually liked him as the anchor.

Colin Quinn had one good moment (not even a joke, just a moment) in his entire tenure as anchor. In his first episode, he made a comparison between him replacing Norm and a new bartender replacing the one you knew. It was Ok....and that was the last time I cared for Weekend Update in a long time.

Posted by: Radlum at November 1, 2011 11:14 PM

I despise all of you. Colin Quinn, though atrocious on SNL, is one of the greatest comedians working today. His twitter account is a stream of constant trolling hilarity. Dustin, you have once again proven yourself to be an unfunny cunt.

Tssst tsss Dustin, how about we keep this dustout?! Tsssssssssst

Posted by: Muffin at November 2, 2011 12:15 AM

Who's the girl with Will?

Posted by: Gregells at November 2, 2011 1:23 AM

listen to Norm and Adam Carolla break down two Kenny Rogers songs...Ruby and Coward of the County...it's high comedy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBPxjbtXaik

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ9fPnzcMHk

Posted by: Rubble44 at November 2, 2011 1:50 AM

and Gregells...that's Heidi Klum

Posted by: Rubble44 at November 2, 2011 1:50 AM

Ahh thanks, kind of obvious now once I look past the '70s hair

Posted by: Gregells at November 2, 2011 2:01 AM

Wrong. Colin Quin rules as a standup. And you suck.

Posted by: seth at November 2, 2011 4:09 AM

Wow, Colin Quinn has, literally, ones of loyal fans.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 2, 2011 7:30 AM

Courtney, I'm glad I wasn't the only one who immediately thought of Olivia Munn.

Posted by: Markus at November 2, 2011 10:20 AM

Colin Quinn: Why did the, the chicken cross, the uh- the *phew* the ah road?

Colin Quinn: To get to the other side (constant stuttering and laughing at own joke omitted).

Posted by: Gregorio at November 2, 2011 11:00 AM

For a guy who thinks adding the clause, "that's all I'm sayin'," to any sentence makes it a joke, fuck him. What he really wishes is that he was Dennis Leary, who gets the testy Irish thing right, and again: fuck him. Whether Will Farrell is an heir to Mark Twain is debatable at best, but to pull the twitter version of Kanye on him when he's receiving the award is ugly, unfunny, and deeply filled with self-loathing.

Posted by: hater from siloam springs at November 2, 2011 12:16 PM

@ Mrs. Julien

that line was funnier than anything Quinn has ever written.


And as for McDonald, sometimes funny, but g**d*** that f***ing voice of his.

Posted by: Jill at November 2, 2011 2:19 PM

I love Norm Macdonald. I'll kill all that have besmirched the man's name.

Posted by: googergieger at November 2, 2011 3:11 PM

Quinn often did the fake-bitter thing on SNL back then, seems like he's just continuing it.

Posted by: Uncle Mikey at November 2, 2011 3:32 PM

Quinn came into the cafe where I worked a few times this summer.
He made little comments that he thought were hiLARious. He wasn't funny, at all-- just smug and a bit weird. My coworker ate it up-- she's adorably naiive.
He wasn't the worst customer we've ever had though, and he tipped awesome, so it's all good.

Will Ferrell gets a life pass from me for Anchorman though. I don't know why, but it's silly in all the right ways, for me.

Posted by: robbermaiden at November 2, 2011 7:23 PM

^^^I hope you get fucked to death by rabid animals. That goes for you too, Dustin.
The fact that none of you understand that Colin Quinn is fucking with you angers me.

Posted by: Muffin at November 2, 2011 10:10 PM

It was a fucking joke. He put out an incredible stand up special earlier this year "Long Story Short". He's a smart man with a warped sense of humor. Enjoy the joke it's fucking twitter for fucks sake.

Posted by: mndo at November 3, 2011 1:50 AM

I've had bowel movements funnier than anything I ever saw from Quinn on SNL (or his goddawful Comedy Central shows, for that matter).

I suppose in a world where Kim Kardashian's "wedding" is "news," then it makes sense for Quinn's Twitter-rambles to be considered "jokes." Next up: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together...

Posted by: Tammy at November 3, 2011 4:47 PM

He,This is a great and usefull blog.Keep up the good work.

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