November 11, 2008 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | November 11, 2008 |


In this shiny new bombard-the-shit out of you with posts all day long format we’ve been running here since September, one of the nice advantages is that — when I see some bullshit rumors floating around — I can actually let them sit a day or so to see if anything is confirmed or else pull the rumor back out when there’s little else to report or review. Here’s an instance of the latter:

The L.A. Times (via Slashfilm) is reporting that Beyonce Knowles recently had a sit-down with the folks at D.C. Comics and Warner Brothers to discuss the possibility of playing Wonder Woman.

“I want to do a superhero movie and what would be better than Wonder Woman? It would be great. And it would be a very bold choice. A black Wonder Woman would be a powerful thing. It’s time for that, right?” said Beyonce.

Maybe. But, is there any chance we can get a black Wonder Woman who isn’t played by Beyonce? She may do wonders for the costume (ha! See what I did there? Wonders …. Wonder Woman … oh fuck off. It’s Veteran’s Day. I should be out shooting terrorists or something), but she acts like I dance, which is kind of like Paul Rudd, only without the rhythm. You know how great actresses light up the screen? Yeah, well Beyonce sort of sucks the life out of the screen, and then body-slams the screen’s corpse onto a cobblestone floor and then takes a shit on it. She sure is pretty, though.

And in related news, also via Slashfilm, the powers that be actually want McG to direct the eventual Wonder Woman adaptation, though they are in the “just talks” phase. $7 says that, should McG get the gig, Drew Barrymore will be your Wonder Woman. Also, Wonder Woman will suck. Eggs. Through urethras.

byncee.jpg
Could Bootylicious Be the Next Wonderlicious?

I Can't Believe I Just Wrote That; I'm Really Sorry / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | November 11, 2008 | Comments ()



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