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Why I Drink (Besides the 49ers)

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (24)



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Ender’s Game is one of the greatest science fiction novels ever written. Any overly bright ten year old who reads this novel basically feels like they’re reading a story written just for them. It gets the way that children think and act more than any novel I have ever read. And that makes the story even more horrifying even while being uplifting: a civilization mining its brightest children for a fighting chance to survive. It’s got the same gut punch feeling of Children of Earth with the added thoughtfulness of prose to buoy the philosophy. It’s the sort of novel where the smartest eight year olds in the world are set up to wage war against each other, justified by the simple expedient of survival:

“My job is to produce the best soldiers in the world. In the whole history of the world. We need a Napoleon. An Alexander. Except that Napoleon lost in the end, and Alexander flamed out and died young. We need a Julius Caesar, except that he made himself dictator, and died for it. My job is to produce such a creature, and all the men and women he’ll need to help him.

Nowhere in that does it say I have to make friends with children.”

The genius of the novel is the realization that the only true weapon is empathy. The only way to know an enemy so well as to utterly defeat him is to love him. The only way to win the perfect loyalty of an army is to love them. But such a man could never be the stone cold killer needed to wage a war. And so the trick is leveled, the sort of twist that Shyamalan only wishes he could pull off.

Orson Scott Card has resisted all attempts thus far to adapt Ender’s Game into a movie, quoted once insisting that he would not allow the film to be made unless it was right, “a film where the human relationships are absolutely essential—an honest presentation of the story.” Hollywood hasn’t given up, despite twenty years of false starts on the project. And so naturally, you’d turn over a script written by the author of the novel to be rewritten by the idiot who directed X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

I don’t think Hollywood quite knows who they’re fucking with here. Everybody knows who Spiderman is. If you fuck up Spiderman’s story and make him an emo douchebag, the teenagers are still going to turn out in droves to see whatever CGI shit you throw in front of a camera. A movie like Ender’s Game has essentially no appeal to anyone outside the geeks who’ve already read the novel. And if you fuck up this story, the opening day ticket receipts aren’t going to make back the cost of the bottled water from the set.


(source: Blastr)









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Comments

Sweet Brisket Jesus I wish the Buggers had won. Then we could have avoided this mess.

Posted by: admin at September 21, 2010 10:12 AM

No. Just no. Can't be done. Dammit, just keep making crappy horror movies and rom coms and leave literature alone.

Posted by: fenchurch at September 21, 2010 10:28 AM

I don't think this book is filmable. Are we really going to find a kid who looks six years old that can believably be a military genius? And all the other brilliant kids that make up the army?

Personally, I think OSC is more than a bit fruit-loopy. His later "Ender" stuff drags on and on and you can clearly see his religious agenda, and I think he loses believability by underplaying the importance of emotional maturity and the inherent, physical differences between the brains of children and adults. Kids ARE NOT just miniature adults, and you need to spend time with kids (not just have been one, as we ALL were) to get that.

Ender's Game is the most plausible of Ender-World stories, and there's a lot in there that resonates with anyone who was an underestimated kid, or anyone who was put in an unfair position to serve someone else's purpose. But I still don't think it qualifies as great literature. Too much of it rings false.

Posted by: Wednesday at September 21, 2010 10:44 AM

Blasphemous. Was just talking the other day about how difficult it would be to make a movie out of this that in any way represents how good the story is.

I'm in the business, but sometimes, I really hate Hollywood.

Posted by: Parker at September 21, 2010 10:52 AM

While I immensely enjoy Ender's Game and Speaker for the Dead (which is a finer novel, both in purpose and writing) I never want to see them adapted for the screen. Prime among the reasons is the difficulty casting such a film - to maintain the story's true meaning children must be cast and they must all be brilliant - not just Andrew Wiggin, but Peter and Valentine as well as Andrew's comrades at the Battle School. Cute won't cut it. One excellent child actor won't cut it. Hell, poorly cast adults will ruin the film as well.

That being said - Orson Scott Card says he won't let it happen unless "it's just right", but the man is a shameless self promoter and opportunist. Offer him the right price and he will eventually buckle to the pressure. At Comic Con, several years ago, Card said he'd let the movie happen "...if someone as brilliant as Haley Joel Osment was in The Sixth Sense is cast at the right age..." Make no mistake - he only cares about the solid casting of his star character, not the overall welfare of such a production.

A movie like Ender’s Game has essentially no appeal to anyone outside the geeks who’ve already read the novel.

I beg to differ - Ender's Game has long been on the Marine Corps reading list (source). The novel enjoys a slightly wider appeal than simply committed geeks. Not universal, by any stretch of the imagination, but perhaps enough to allow sufficient word of mouth to generate a profit for a modestly budgeted effort similar to District 9. However, I yield to your point that a production involving anyone from Wolverine will lack modesty.

Posted by: lubeg at September 21, 2010 10:55 AM

I've reread Ender's Game more than any other book, and I'm not necessarily against a film adaptation. Card's demands are justifiably high, but ultimately what film could live up to his and the fans' expectations?

"If your arm isn't steady, freeze your elbows!"

Posted by: branded at September 21, 2010 10:57 AM

the only true weapon is empathy

Yeah? I'll empathy you, studio executives! I'll empathy you right to the jaw, and you'll wind up on your back watching cartoon birds fly around! I'll unleash nuclear levels of empathy that leave you staggering through an empathetic wasteland, feeling all the pain you've caused all the fans of all those lovely books. Then, when you're on your knees screaming "It was supposed to be HARMLESS! We didn't know Percy Jackson would hurt so many innocent people!" I'll give you just one more tiny blast -- maybe the flying death eaters in Harry Potter, maybe Tom Bombadil -- and watch you collapse, shuddering, full of the pain of others. And, so watching, I will grow strong, and I will crush your studios and build a new one, a better, truer one. And in this haven for bibliophiles Neil Gaiman will write the scripts and books will be respected and Daniel Radcliffe will be banned from the premises.

Posted by: esme at September 21, 2010 10:58 AM

Ahh, this sounds terrible! Why! Why! Why! Why would Orson Scott Card let them do this!?! Speilberg wanted Ender's Game in the 90's and Card fucked it up now we have to deal with this shit!?! I think I want to cry. I love Ender's Game! This is horrible news.

Posted by: Mebe at September 21, 2010 11:17 AM

Speilberg wanted Ender's Game in the 90's and Card fucked it up now we have to deal with this shit!?!

Mebe - Spielberg has no business near film adaptations of novels. Lest we forget The Movie Which Wasn't War of the Worlds.

Posted by: lubeg at September 21, 2010 11:31 AM

I don't think that it's un-filmable, it would certainly be difficult, but not impossible. What I am absolutely positive of is that there is no way the asshat who directed X-Men: Angry Pussycat! should have nothing to do with it. Casting would be hard, but I think it could be done with slightly older actors.

Posted by: admin at September 21, 2010 11:35 AM

Casting would be hard, but I think it could be done with slightly older actors.

Honest question: could this be done well animated/CGIed while not taking out some of the more necessary, intense imagery?

(Note: I somewhat enjoy Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within so I CLEARLY cannot offer a sane opinion on this matter)

Posted by: branded at September 21, 2010 11:42 AM

In fairness to Gavin Hood, supposedly Wolverine's suckery was partially Fox's fault for constant meddling and pushing additional characters.

Plus, Tsotsi is absolutely amazing. You want to talk about human relationships? Wow.

Posted by: Perfect Tommy at September 21, 2010 12:49 PM

OK, say they do make it. HOw do you cast it? Do you hire some brothers that look alike to play the kids as they age?

Or, how about this, you CGI it. Like AVATAR.

Posted by: Sean at September 21, 2010 1:02 PM

Got to second Perfect Tommy here.
Wolverine was nothing more than film-making by focus group.

If you want to see what Gavin Hood is really capable of, please rent out Tsotsi, which he wrote and directed.

It's an astonishing film.
Brutal. Tender. Brilliant.

Posted by: Simon at September 21, 2010 1:18 PM

Tsotsi trailer - it's worth your time.

Remember Gavin Hood did not write the Wolverine script. He was nothing more than a token director.


Posted by: Simon at September 21, 2010 1:28 PM

Wait, this is the same guy who did, Tsotsi?

Thank Budda, Dog, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster. If there's one writer or director who might have a bare chance at showing why Ender's Game is good fiction, but poor sociology, it might be this guy. The entire Ender's Game franchise is a horrid little justification for exceptionalism and Randian libertarianism.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at September 21, 2010 1:48 PM

SIGH. If we have to make a movie based on Ender's Game, at least give it to James Cameron. We know that he will stick to the source material.

How do we know that? Well, he stuck pretty damn close to the original Fern Gully story when he re-made it under the title of Avatar. So Ender might turn blue in his version. At least the graphics will be pretty.

Posted by: Pea at September 21, 2010 2:25 PM

Danny Boyle.
That's who should direct this.
Or maybe Alfonso Cuarón...

Posted by: The Kilted Yaksman at September 21, 2010 3:50 PM

I think this is an a book that could easily be adapted into a film. Do it right and you have a cult classic. It doesn't necessarily have to appeal to the main-stream (but why wouldn't it - its in space *gasp*). There is also an argumentthat it is a duty to share a wonderful story like this with the non-reading public.

Posted by: mad at September 22, 2010 4:44 AM

Orson Scott Card is such a douchebag that I kind of hope they shit all over the source material and make him WALLOW in Alan Moore levels of outrage and posturing.

Posted by: Craig at September 22, 2010 6:11 PM

NO NO NO. There, I feel ... nope, I still don't feel better. I love Ender's Game. I have no desire to ever see it on the screen.

Once Michael Bay hears the ending, you know he'll scoop the movie. EXPLOSIONS OMFG.

Posted by: Jezebel at September 22, 2010 8:28 PM

I simply don't believe it could be properly cast. How the hell do you cast Bean? Even in the book it was awfully hard to suspend disbelief that eight and ten year olds were thinking and talking in such an adult way. On film it will look ridiculous. If you don't believe me re-watch Dune and pay attention to A'lia. Maybe heavy CGI could work but I'm still skeptical. Believe it or not you'd have a better chance filming Speaker For The Dead. Fewer (and older) genius kids.

Posted by: ed newman at September 22, 2010 11:27 PM

Wasn't Bean supposed to be six but look four? I want that actor to exist, but he just doesn't.

Posted by: chano at September 23, 2010 12:13 AM

Not really cool to write an entire article about a specific person and forget to mention the person's name. Gavin Hood, the director of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, did not write that movie, but did write (and direct) the acclaimed 2005 drama Tsotsi.

To everyone on here freaking out, though, relax. Ender's Game has been in some form of development a dozen times or more and this is just yet another restart that probably won't go anywhere. However, contrary to what the article says, Orson Scott Card would love to see an Ender's Game movie (he even wrote his own draft of the screenplay more than once), he just obviously wants to see it done right.

My two cents: a faithful adaptation can't be done right. Cast a bunch of 6-year-olds, and the acting will be atrocious. (Partly because the book's vision of 6-year-olds as calm, highly analytical beings is a fantasy, albeit a very readable one.) So you'd need to skew older. And then it's up for debate whether you lose the spirit of the book.

Posted by: Michael at September 23, 2010 5:09 PM