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Wolverine Definitely Will Not Not Not Appear in X-Men First Class (Triple Negative for the Win)

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (21)

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I’m just now catching up on this, but for those of you who are curious about the makeup of Bryan Singer’s X-Men prequel, First Class, it’s official: Wolverine will not not not appear. Yesterday, rumors of his not not appearing were floated around the web when a cab driver announced that he’d dropped off Hugh Jackman somewhere in the vicinity of the First Class set (No. I’m not kidding), and everyone had a great time wondering how Hugh Jackman would fit into the storyline (hint: He would sing. He would dance. Then he would eat the entire cast).

But then, the cab driver’s friend talked to a guy who made coffee for the cousin of a rep at Fox, who officially confirmed that Wolverine, in fact, will not not not appear in First Class, which sadly means that no one in the Singer’s Ratnerfucking will be eaten alive. At least by Wolverine.

However, I can exclusively confirm that January Jones — who is playing Emma Frost in the film — is very hungry. Our inside source (a friend of her hairdresser) reveals that she’s not keen on the catering spread, so she’s thinking about checking out a sushi place near the studio during her next break.

Updates as they become available.









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Comments

she’s not keen on the catering spread, so she’s thinking about checking out a sushi place near the studio during her next break.

So...if we hear that she's dropped out due to "mercury poisoning" we'll know why?

Posted by: KatSings at November 3, 2010 11:38 AM

If my mammary serves correct, it beboobs us to breast calm down and remember that this boobvie will suckle balls, anyway.

Tits.

Posted by: Kballs at November 3, 2010 11:55 AM

No, no, no, you've got it all wrong. A member of my playgroup's friend's cousin's daughter is in the cabbie's son's class, and she noticed that he's started using name brand mustard on his ham sandwiches. So clearly the cabbie has been paid off to shut him up, and Wolverine will not not not not be in First Class.

She also reports that the cabbie's son has cooties, so I think that means Wolverine will appear as the school exterminator, a radical shift in character development.

Posted by: McSquish at November 3, 2010 11:57 AM

Idiots.

The movie has January Jones in something skin-tight and I'm sure they blow lots of shit up. It'll be fucking awesome.

If you miss Wolverine too much, you might be gay....
not that there's anything wrong with that!

Posted by: Skeetikus at November 3, 2010 12:06 PM

Btw, if you guys post another freakin' hot picture today, I'm going to end up jizzing in my pants. Tone it down a bit!

Posted by: Skeetikus at November 3, 2010 12:07 PM

I still have hope, Kballs. I've been wanting to see a 60s-set, era appropriate X-Men film since... well, since I saw the first movie, which I enjoy, but can't help but see a missed opportunity. It does bother me that this flick will be in the same movie universe, which means no Scott or Jean or Bobby or Warren (ugh), but I think a "period" super hero tale could be hella fun.

Posted by: RobP at November 3, 2010 12:19 PM

If my mammary serves correct, it beboobs us to breast calm down and remember that this boobvie will suckle balls, anyway.

Tits.

Before I looked down to see who posted this wee gem, I thought to myself, "Oh, that Admin is so clever." I'm now forced to re-evaluate my expectations for Admin, and to reinforce my amusement of Kballs. My world -- she shifts and moves!

Posted by: superasente at November 3, 2010 12:23 PM

Do as you wish, Superasente, my ego need not the nuzzling of your mammarifous cleavage.

The movie will suck but, as long as Jones doesn't try to act, breasteses.

Posted by: admin at November 3, 2010 12:30 PM

Tits nice to be rejugnized, superasente, but I cannot hope to reach the innippleable heights of admin's hootlarious tomboobery.

Posted by: Kballs at November 3, 2010 12:45 PM

I love this fucking website.

Posted by: superasente at November 3, 2010 12:53 PM

Why would Wolverine be in it in the first place? Wasn't his first encounter with the rest of them in the first movie?

Posted by: Anna von Beav at November 3, 2010 12:59 PM

it beboobs us to breast calm down and remember that this boobvie will suckle balls, anyway.

That's proboobly the breast piece of advice I've heard all week.


Posted by: Rykker at November 3, 2010 1:07 PM

Really boyz?!
Even if they're faked out, photoshopped up, make-up'd booblages...
pasted onto a hopelessly skinny chick?
Still delightful and motorb0atable?
GAH. Why do bother asking such silly questions.
As my friend 'E' told me just last night: visual and "I'm a guy". Nuff said.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at November 3, 2010 1:23 PM

That's too bad. I had a Groupon for a sushi place, but it expired a couple of days ago. We could have gone together.

Posted by: Lucas at November 3, 2010 2:06 PM

I don't get it. Another generic pretty blonde. Eh.

Posted by: Joker at November 3, 2010 6:35 PM

Ms MoMo - I think your expectations need to be lowered when dealing with the male gender in the prescence of cleavage.

We can't help it - it's a genetic memory thing (need a healthy cave woman to make it through another tough winter when the mammoths are elusive).

Either that, or we're shallow.

But we definitely can't help it.

Sorry.

Posted by: Simon at November 3, 2010 8:18 PM

So, call me a nitpicker, but isn't this Matthew FUCKING Vaughn's First Class?!?! I get that Singer's producing, but come on, whenever Ron Howard produces an abortion we don't call it Brian Grazer's Angles and Demons. . . .

Posted by: adam at November 3, 2010 9:32 PM

Arg. *Whenever Ron Howard DIRECTS(apologies) an abortion, we don't call it Brian Grazer's Angels and Demons. . . .


Christ, I fucked that one up.

Posted by: adam at November 3, 2010 9:33 PM

Why is no one commenting on Lucas's brilliance?

I never thought I'd enjoy knowing what a "Groupon" was.

Posted by: RobP at November 3, 2010 11:47 PM

If my mammary serves correct, it beboobs us to breast calm down and remember that this boobvie will suckle balls, anyway.

Tits.

Posted by: Kballs at November 3, 2010 11:55 AM

I didn't have to rack my brains to know why the title picture made you bust a gasket, but your outburst was udderly hilarious. I breast go now.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at November 4, 2010 12:47 AM

Still delightful and motorb0atable?

Titillating, even.

Posted by: Rykker at November 4, 2010 10:34 AM