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At Least He's Not Wearing Yellow Spandex

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (35)



x-men-origins-wolverine1.jpg

Hugh Jackman gained 30 lbs of muscle for Wolverine 2, but then lost it in order to star in Real Steel. Because in a movie about a robot boxing league, the dad being built like a freight train would have broken the suspension of disbelief. So, the next film Jackman was slated to film was Avon Man, which is on IMDB with this plot summary:

An unemployed car dealer relies on his charm, good looks and sales skills to hawk cosmetics door-to-to and becoming a top selling “Avon Lady”.

That doesn’t necessarily sound like the worst movie ever made, if only because Jackman made the first Wolverine film. Yeah, so Jackman decided to skip that and hit the gym for the next three months instead so that he can star in Wolverine 2, which has this synopsis:

Wolverine travels to Japan to train with a samurai warrior.

Really? That’s not a movie’s plot synopsis, that’s the abbreviated episode description for a twenty minute Saturday morning cartoon. At the end of it, an animated Wolverine explains to kids how to stand up to bullies and to never ever get a ride with the ice cream man after dark. Of course, that’s nothing official, just IMDB, so given the way the last film in the series went, it’s probably sure to get much much worse.

Hugh Jackman should get some sort of Christopher Reeve memorial award for the way he has owned the character of Wolverine. If Wolverine 2 actually gets made, that’ll make five films in which he’s played the character over an eleven year period. And unlike just about every other superhero character out there, Wolverine never even enters the conversation as getting a new actor in a reboot. That’s one thing that Hugh Jackman can be proud of, even if the movies are getting worse and worse. He is Wolverine.

(source: Cinema Blend)









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Comments

I dunno. I think Dean Cain could pull it off.

Posted by: Paul Southworth at August 17, 2010 10:11 AM

Right. He IS Wolverine and Wolverine is the best X-Man by far.
Which is why a X-men movie without Wolverine is a stupid idea. But still were gonna get one.


Posted by: logan at August 17, 2010 10:13 AM

I'm still waiting for Wolverine: The Musical. I really can't believe that some cunning studio executive hasn't picked up on Jackman's ability to play a buff twinkletoes.

Posted by: admin at August 17, 2010 10:18 AM

Let's all take a moment and imagine George Reeves in the role of Wolverine. Roll it around in your mouth a little, savor it.

That's good miscasting.

Posted by: Paul Southworth at August 17, 2010 10:25 AM

Hugh Jackman is the best there is at what he does.

Because he's the only one who gets to do it...

Posted by: RobP at August 17, 2010 10:27 AM

Seriously, kudos to Jacked Man for owning this role. His first appearance in X-Men silenced the nerds ("...but he isn't SHORT enough!!") and his sheer presence carried him through the subsequent films.

Perhaps with the right script and some decent effects work he can wash the stink off the last film. Here's hoping...

Posted by: Barry at August 17, 2010 10:27 AM

All I ask from this movie is that the japanese actually speak japanese. So there's one good thing to say about it.

Or they could just make it take place in Madripoor, a bizarre english-speaking country in Asia (is that right, comic-geeks?)

Also: Patch.

Posted by: zito at August 17, 2010 10:30 AM

Perhaps they're waiting to do the musical for the third Wolverine installment. A flashy yellow costume could be right at home in that!

Posted by: Uda at August 17, 2010 10:30 AM

Darn it.

I meant wash the stink off FROM the last film.

Is an edit button out of the question? :-|

Posted by: Barry at August 17, 2010 10:31 AM

I'd also like a movie Wolverine where he's an actual badass. Not just a jerk who cries over women. They've shown flashes of it (the openings in X1 and X2, the forest scene in X3), but otherwise? It's been a thoroughly watered down version.

Japan, though? Well, they've already fucked up the Deathstrike storyline after X2, so... Silver Samurai, maybe? The Hand? Some time in Madripoor?

Posted by: TK at August 17, 2010 10:38 AM

Imagine a young Clint Eastwood as Wolverine. I love the idea so much.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at August 17, 2010 10:38 AM

So is this story supposed to take place before/after Danny Huston put adamantium bullets in his noggin to give him amnesia?

Cause the way the Wolverine movie set it up, he loses his mind and is left to wander the PNW until he meets Rogue in X1.

Oh wait...I'm applying logic to that POS. Nevermind.

Posted by: Fredo at August 17, 2010 10:42 AM

Okay, they're going to screw over the Silver Samurai character now.
What'll make this worse is they'll cast Mark Dacascos for it.
"Wolverine-san, I say to you in the words of my fathers...Allez cuisine!"

Posted by: Kahntahmp at August 17, 2010 10:53 AM

I've only seen bits and pieces of the first Wolverine movie, because that's all I could stomach. It's unbelievable how awful that film is. I couldn't get over how fake everything looked. It was weird.

I did see the end and I think at the end of the film they hinted that he was going to Japan. I forget how exactly, but I recall it being in there. So, I assume it will take place after the first movie.

Hopefully, they will try to do something along the lines of the first Wolverine Mini-Series from way back. Probably not though. They will find some way to smear poop all over it like a bunch of retarded monkies.

My favorite Wolverine moment in film so far has to be in X-Men 2 when he launched into his beserker rage when they attack the school, especially right at the beginning of that scene when he's in the kitchen with Iceman. That was awesome.

Since I was kid, Wolverine has always been my favorite. I have some posters. I even dressed up as him (yellow costume and I was forced) during my stag weekend in Prague. (For the record, if I knew how much positive attention I would draw from the right people, I would have been dressing up as Wolverine every weekend in college.).

Anyway, every now and then I try to read some new Wolverine material and I've always been disappointed. I felt that "Wolverine: Origin" was awful. I even read a recent Brian K. Vaughan written Wolverine story and wasn't too terribly impressed, and I love Vaughan. Are there any good, new Wolverine stories out there?

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at August 17, 2010 10:55 AM

Yeah, my excitement for this is gonna hinge on who they get to play the Silver Samurai. I mean, he's gonna be in this, right? They wouldn't send Wolvie to Japan and not include him, would they?

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at August 17, 2010 11:02 AM

Forbiddendonut, I would like to direct you to Wolverine: Enemy of the State. Written by Mark Millar (Kick-Ass) and John Romita, jr. ('nuff said). It's a little pricey, but it's 12 issues worth of awesome.

Old Man Logan was interesting, as well.

Posted by: RobP at August 17, 2010 11:04 AM

As much I want to bone Hugh Jackman, he chooses really inconsistent and disappointing roles.

Posted by: Sassafrass Green at August 17, 2010 11:09 AM

What'll make this worse is they'll cast Mark Dacascos for it.

I liked him well enough in The Brotherhood of the Wolf.

Posted by: Uda at August 17, 2010 11:11 AM

Wantanabe san. That is all.

Posted by: admin at August 17, 2010 11:24 AM

RobP, thanks for the head's up. I just bought both TPB's off half.com. $20 in total. Not too shaby...

I hope it's good. I am bit iff on Mark Millar. I haven't read "Kick-Ass", but I did read "Wanted" and while I liked it overall, I found the tone a bit irritating. It was a bit overly nasty. A bit like Garth Ennis, but without the charm. Still, I could see where it could work well within a Wolverine book.

I have pretty much everything Wolverine was ever in up until around 1991-92 or so. I miss him.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at August 17, 2010 11:29 AM

You know who I wanted for Wolverine? A bulked up Michael Wincott. Alas, twas not to be.

Forbiddendonut, I feel like any of the X-Men-related Wolverine stories pretty much blow now. They've delved too deeply into his history - now he has a son and a clone daughter-type thing, and part of a special subset of mutants called Lupines, and... oh, Christ, it was much better when he was just a man with no name kind of guy. Plus, he keeps dying or getting injured and losing his skeleton then getting it back...

Comics are a fucking mess right now.

Posted by: TK at August 17, 2010 11:33 AM

TK, that's good to know, because that's been my impression. I read some comic book review websites from time to time, I'll flip through some comics at the local bookstore, I check out Wikipedia. I just like to try and keep tabs on things in general and every time I do I just get confused and angry and annoyed. It's just all so stupid.

I was particularly annoyed when I found out that Wolverine had a son who is retardedly named "Daken" and goes by the name "Dark Wolverine" at some point or another. So incredibly stupid.

I stopped seriously collecting right after the first time Magneto ripped Wolverin's skeleton out. Whatever that big cross-over mutant storyline was, that was my last.

I still get comics, but only in trade paperback form and only from selected titles and authors. The only super hero book I still get is "Secret Six", because I like Deadshot and Gail Simone does some good work.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at August 17, 2010 11:39 AM

"Wolverine:the musical" with Jackman is a great idea

Posted by: caro at August 17, 2010 11:46 AM

Or they could just make it take place in Madripoor, a bizarre english-speaking country in Asia (is that right, comic-geeks?)
Also: Patch.
Posted by: zito at August 17, 2010 10:30 AM

Yes, please. He kills so many people in Madripoor.

Posted by: Brenton at August 17, 2010 12:10 PM

It's too bad that he doesn't get better movies. The character's great, Jackman never looks as good as he does when he's playing him, and...well he's fucking hot as Wolverine. But he gets shitty movies.

I'll still see them. Because of the hotness.

Posted by: figgy at August 17, 2010 1:13 PM

Silver Samurai: Tadanobu Asano

(sorry admin)

Posted by: Ducky at August 17, 2010 2:09 PM

TK, I definitely agree with you on current Wolverine storylines and the Big Two publishers in general. The two I recommended, thankfully, stay pretty far from those messes. Old Man Logan does have some tie-ins, but not until the very end and I don't think it ruins the rest of the story. That Lupine bullsh, my gods, was awful. Though, I can't deny that Sabretooth's bit got me good.

Forbiddendonut, I feel the same way about Millar. He's not even on the list of writers that I feel compelled to check out, but he's done some good stuff. And, yeah, his style fits much better with Wolverine than it does with other super heroes. Actually, I'll go so far to say, it's the only character he really gets right.

Oh, and I do like some of the ongoing Wolverine: Origin series by Garth Ennis, but mainly for Steve Dillon's artwork. I love me some Steve Dillon.

Posted by: RobP at August 17, 2010 2:53 PM

Old Man Logan is definitely worth reading, and part of what helps is that you don't NEED to know anything about the countless interweaving storylines that Marvel currently has going on.

I'll say this -- the Ultimate universe may be flawed, but I like it because it's a fresh start. The first issues of the various series (particularly X-Men, Spider-Man, FF4 and The Ultimates) were fun and interesting and well-done, and didn't get bogged down in the publishers tendency to massively overcomplicate things with Luke-I-am-your-father bullshit every two issues.

Of course, they've since gone off the rails, but still. It was nice while it lasted. Particularly Ultimate Hulk, who is an insane cannibal who rampages through New York and kills hundreds of people. Pretty interesting stuff.

Posted by: TK at August 17, 2010 4:53 PM

So I'm pretty much SOL in hoping for a bigscreen Kitty Pryde and Wolverine, then, eh? Sad. Ellen Page is awesome.

Posted by: Salieri2 at August 17, 2010 5:38 PM

I know I'm probably in the minority around here, but I liked the first Wolverine movie just fine. Was it as good as the first 2 X-Men movies? No, but it was way, way, WAY better than Van Helsing.

I mean, I'm a hopeless Hugh Jackman swooner and even I hated that movie.

Posted by: Sara at August 17, 2010 6:29 PM

Daken was one of the biggest disappointments in this whole Dark Reign storyline. Anytime he found a fork in the road to lead somewhere interesting vs the same old retread, it was always the same ole same ole. But goddamn I loved Iron Patriot and Bullseye/Hawkeye. Wolverine is the best I've liked him in a long while in New Avengers, that whole crew is awesome. I just recently re-read the TPBs vol 1-12. I hope the Heroic Age stays as good as Bendis' run thus far.

Posted by: protoformX at August 17, 2010 11:21 PM

You know who I wanted for Wolverine? A bulked up Michael Wincott. Alas, twas not to be.

Shit, that would've been amazing. Way to add to my disappointment.

Posted by: Uda at August 18, 2010 1:24 AM

All I can say is YUM.

Hugh Jackman is the shit, y'all.

Posted by: wsapnin at August 18, 2010 3:30 PM

Hugh Jackman is the right actor to play James Howlett/Logan or Wolverine and he is great at being that! Don't replace him with someone else, I hate watching so many actors playing one iconic characters like Batman and Bruce Banner (Hulk)... Brandon Routh should return as Superman!

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