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Why Russell Crowe Is Not the Best Choice to Play Superman's Pops, Jor-El

By Rob Payne | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (21)



crowe-oscar_536x306.jpg

In college, I worked at an overpriced video store located mostly within shopping malls, and on any given painfully slow weekday, I could fantasy-cast movies with co-workers for an entire eight hour shift. The one actor/character combination we hit on that always felt like perfection to me, was Russell Crowe as the I’m-gettin’-too-old-for-this-shit version of Bruce Wayne/Batman in a direct adaptation of Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns. Granted, eight years ago he would have needed some Benjamin Button level make-up effects, and even now he’s still at least ten years too young. The probability of it happening was never high, as Warner Bros. would never make that movie, and Crowe never seemed like the type of actor who would take on a role in a silly comic book movie.

It seems I was wrong about the latter part, as according to Variety, Crowe has joined the cast of Zack Snyder’s The Man of Steel. Not only that, but last year’s Robin Hood is apparently filling the silver pajamas of another actor who filmgoers, at the time, never imagined would be in a silly comic book movie: Jor-El, Clark Kent’s biological father, who was previously portrayed by Marlon Brando in Richard Donner’s 1978 Superman. Considering this means that my dream Batman movie is now deader than Jason Todd, I am having officially mixed emotions. After all, the probability of Warner Bros. making that movie, and Russell Crowe taking on, not just one but, two silly comic book movie roles is lower than convincing me that AMC’s “The Walking Dead” was actually any good, other than the pilot episode. (That’s extremely low.)

Crowe as Jor-El certainly continues the all-star quality casting of this new Superman movie, as he joins the ranks of Kevin Costner (Pa Kent), Diane Lane (Ma Kent), and Amy Adams (plucky lady reporter Lois Lane) - as well as the lesser known, but not unappreciated, Henry Cavill and Michael Shannon as Clark Kent/Superman and General Zod, respectively. In all honesty, giving Russell Crowe what amounts to little more than a cameo strikes me as fairly wasteful. I have no doubt that Crowe can fill Brando’s glorious white wig with gravitas and aplomb in equal measure, just as he expertly rode Glenn Ford’s saddle in the 3:10 To Yuma remake (also note that Glenn Ford played the original Pa Kent, and Christopher Nolan’s Batman, Christian Bale, was also in the new Yuma, and Nolan is producing The Man of Steel… so perhaps it’s all kismet). Still, since Snyder clearly seems to be doing a remake mash-up of both Superman and Superman II, I believe Crowe’s talents could be utilized much more successfully if he took them to South Beach Lex Luthor. Jor-El is a character he can do in his sleep, especially if he mimics Brando’s take, but he could sink his teeth into Luthor. Hell, he’d make a pretty impeccable, ferocious Zod, too. No offense meant to Michael Shannon, but Crowe excels at villainy. As a super villain, he would simply entertain.

But that’s all moot, as Snyder and Nolan clearly want an A-List star. Personally, Jor-El is a character I’ve never felt is worth all the time devoted to him in film and television. Then again, I’m not the average moviegoer, and the majority of you know him as Marlon Brando (or possibly Terrence Stamp’s disembodied voice from “Smallville”), so you expect someone larger than life. Fair enough. Russell Crowe fits that bill. Word on the Internet super highway is that they’re also looking for an A-Lister to play Lara, Jor-El’s wife. I’ve always thought Cate Blanchett would make an excellent, adult, Lois Lane, so why not her as Supe’s mother? She would be guaranteed to make an impression (see: The Fellowship of the Ring). Your move, Messrs. Snyder and Nolan.

Rob Payne writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force, co-hosts the internet radio show/podcast We’re Not Fanboys, and hopes TK doesn’t send him to the Phantom Zone for playing in his sandbox.









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Comments

Another Superman go-around. Can't think of a more boring superhero to bring to the big screen. Christopher Reeve nailed it and owned it during his time wearing the cape and thereks just nowhere to go from there, at least nowhere the studio is willing to go that isn't back to the freakin orign story again.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 17, 2011 10:44 AM

Before anyone says anything, yes, I realize now that Kevin Costner also played Robin Hood. But, hey, that parenthetical was long enough already, so sue me.

Please don't sue me. I have no money...

Posted by: RobP at June 17, 2011 10:44 AM

Part of what was brilliant in getting Brando as Jor-El was the gravitas the man could bring even asleep. Which is important because it is Jor-El who sets in motion everything that happens afterwards. I'm sure Crowe can do it.

But this is sounding more and more like another remake. That's got me disappointed.

Posted by: Fredo at June 17, 2011 10:53 AM

Suncoast, Rob? Spent two years slingin' Replay Cards and trying to convince people to pay $40 for a DVD they could buy for $14.99 at Walmart myself.

Jor-El's up ins... They're going to just do the damn origin story again with this one, aren't they. Don't we all know where Supes comes from by now? They oughta go "All Star Superman" with the intro and just let the guy start punching robots or something.

Posted by: Baboon at June 17, 2011 10:56 AM

The first iteration of Jor-El was played by a corpulent, Oscar-winning actor who had become a caricature of his young, talented self.

Crowe sounds perfect to me.

Posted by: mswas at June 17, 2011 10:58 AM

You, sir, know what is what. I clicked on the link getting ready to be all annoyed at yet another anti-Crowe Pajiba post, and was totally derailed. I agree, absolutely. Crowe seriously needs to be doing more villains, as he is indeed quite brilliant with them. Sigh.

Thank you.

Posted by: Samantha at June 17, 2011 11:08 AM

i dont care if they get old Slappy, who hangs around the bait shop, to play Supermans DAD. I care about the guy with the big red S on his chest. I'm hoping Henry can carry the load and I'm not sure he can. Also not sure Snyder can pull off this movie. This whole thing smells like Superfail to me.

Posted by: logan at June 17, 2011 11:13 AM

Josh Brolin, with the help of aging makeup, would be an excellent older Bruce Wayne.

Posted by: Carface at June 17, 2011 11:32 AM

I love how "taking my talents to...." is a thing now.

Posted by: junierizzle at June 17, 2011 11:53 AM

Interesting that in the original comics Jor-El and Lara were always portrayed as younger, like someone's whose oldest child was about 5 years old and who might be about 25-30 themselves.

Posted by: Pat C. at June 17, 2011 12:27 PM

How DARE you say that about The Walking Dead.

Posted by: snapnhiss at June 17, 2011 12:38 PM

Don't we all know where Supes comes from by now? They oughta go "All Star Superman" with the intro and just let the guy start punching robots or something.

I absolutely agree with this. There are a lot of fucking actors in this thing, but all's I care about is the ones that are punching and getting punched. Maybe some light heat-visioning. Never let it be said that I object to heat-vision. I do not.

I am largely ambivalent to freeze-breath, though.

Posted by: The Wandering Parakeet at June 17, 2011 12:40 PM

I wonder if Crowe took the role because of his fondness for anything Brando, which is documented elsewhere.

Posted by: Mr.West at June 17, 2011 1:04 PM

@Baboon: That would, indeed, be Suncoast. I still have my Replay card in my wallet. No reason. I still have a 5 lira note from that one time I went to Italy, too.

@Carface: Josh Brolin is an excellent substitute for Crowe. Maybe the dream isn't deader than Jason Todd, just as dead?

@Samantha: You're welcome! Thanks for reading!

Posted by: RobP at June 17, 2011 1:09 PM

Did anyone else, at first glance, think that was a slimmed-down John Goodman in the header pic?

Posted by: Trey Shacksit at June 17, 2011 1:17 PM

RobP in the hizzz-ouse! (Sorry, just had to say that.)

Posted by: MM at June 17, 2011 1:28 PM

Yep, totally John Goodman.

Posted by: Laredo at June 17, 2011 2:09 PM

Maybe some light heat-visioning. Never let it be said that I object to heat-vision. I do not.

The heat vision's gotta be used for violence though, you know? Like maybe blasting off a robot's head. Not for heating something up to burn a scoundrel's hand, or cutting through something to save an innocent. I want to see Offensive Heat Vision.

Also I'd really enjoy robots.

Posted by: Baboon at June 17, 2011 6:58 PM

There will be ABSOLUTELY NO RUSSELL CROWE BASHING ON MY WATCH!!!

The man is IT!!

I hate comic book movies and I won't like them any better with Rusty in them. More Master and Commander please.

Posted by: kirbyjay at June 17, 2011 7:41 PM

it's a testament that the 1st episode of the superman animated series is my favorite of all three seasons, and jor-el was the reason.

HIS story was fleshed out nicely in just 22 minutes, so it was disheartening when they moved so quickly to episode 2: "fucking around in kansas".

Posted by: gp at June 17, 2011 11:37 PM

I've heard "fucking around in kansas" is good.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at June 18, 2011 5:09 PM