Who Knew Diet Coke Could Be So Viscous and ... Jizzy?
OK, Jizzy is officially the worst-sounding made-up word ever, and this is the most cringeworthy sentence ever written: "Diet Coke's jizzy new ad will moisten your panties." YOU'RE WELCOME.
The good news is, if you like shirtless dudes, Diet Coke has recreated their similarly themed by less jizzy 1994 ad featuring a bunch of women tittering while watching a Mr. Stud Puppet take a break from manual labor. In the present ad, the insatiable women coax him into popping open a Diet Coke, which then gets jizzy all over him, because nothing says sexy like having your bare chest covered in a liquid of sticky aspartame, caramel coloring, phosphoric acid, and phenylalanine.
There are also GIFs, in case you want to relive the Diet Coke ejaculate in 3-second flashes.