By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (67)
Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance
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Posted by: Drake at March 7, 2011 11:52 AM
Dylan Dog for sure. Though the Green Lantern poster is trying hard to bore me too.
Posted by: aroorda at March 7, 2011 11:55 AM
Good those were a whole bunch of suck.
If only I had the Photoshopping skills to put B-Coop and Bobby D in the mouth of Hades or somewhere horrible.
Posted by: Fredo at March 7, 2011 11:58 AM
Thor.
Posted by: jthomas666 at March 7, 2011 12:00 PM
The one with Tigger. I'm an Atheist and your God(s) don't have the balls to strike me dead.
Posted by: bignick at March 7, 2011 12:01 PM
The Green Lantern, almost completely due to font. Seriously, who picked that? It belongs in some angsty preteen's AIM profile (or whatever the modern cultural equivalent is).
Posted by: LEROOOY at March 7, 2011 12:02 PM
All but Winnie the Pooh. I love that poster, they didn't even put a title. That's just cool.
As for the rest they aren't even TRYING to make people look like people anymore. I like the design of the Scream poster, just because it follows the previous movies and the looming mask is a nice touch. But everyone looks like they are airbrushed onto the side of a van.
Posted by: TylerDFC at March 7, 2011 12:03 PM
Ooooooodinson
You don't have to put on the red light
Those days are over
You don't have to sell your hammer to the night
Oooooooodinson
You don't have to wear that armor tonight
Walk the icy plain for frost giants
You don't care if it's wrong or if it's right
Oooooooodinson
You don't have to put on the red light
I loved you since I first read you
I wouldn't talk down to you
I have to tell you just how I feel
I won't share you with another fanboy
I know my mind is made up
So put away your Mjolnir
Told you once I won't tell you again
Posted by: D-Day at March 7, 2011 12:03 PM
The Thor poster MUST be at all times accompanied by AC/DC.
Posted by: dammitjanet at March 7, 2011 12:05 PM
My vote is for the Thor poster because it's really, really fucking lazy. They could have taken any frame from any of the trailers and come up with something better.
On the bright side, Eeyore always makes me feel so centred. Poor little donkey.
Posted by: Groundloop at March 7, 2011 12:05 PM
D-Day is my new god.
Posted by: dammitjanet at March 7, 2011 12:05 PM
The Hop and Pooh ones suck least
they at least have some thought put into their composition
the rest are just dull dull dull
Posted by: PyD at March 7, 2011 12:09 PM
I think the Dylan Dog poster is the worst. From it, I have no idea what the movie is supposed to be about, besides perhaps something needing to get shot by Former Superman. Maybe something about rain? What the hell is supposed to be memorable or interesting there?
Posted by: The Wandering Parakeet at March 7, 2011 12:12 PM
Why has no one mentioned that Pooh&Co. appear to be paddling in the Great Urine Ocean? I know what it's supposed to be, it's just not reading. Get those stuffed animals OFF the coast of New Jersey!
Posted by: Ian at March 7, 2011 12:16 PM
POOH HAS AN OVEN MITT FOR A HAT! ADORABLE.
D-Day, my love, do you take requests? I want to hear "OOOOOOODINSON! MY AIM IS TRUE!"
Posted by: coveredinbees at March 7, 2011 12:16 PM
Green Lantern is going to suck so bad.
Posted by: superasente at March 7, 2011 12:16 PM
Why is Winnie the Poo floating in a sea of pee? Does the Hundred Acre Wood have sewers that backed up?
Posted by: meh at March 7, 2011 12:17 PM
OH MY GOD IAN. The ocean is not made of pee (or honey) any more here than it is anywhere else. DAMMIT.
I would say the Limitless poster is the least interesting to me.
Posted by: Anna von Beav at March 7, 2011 12:20 PM
I really hope Green Lantern is as bad as every trailer or promotional piece has made it out to be.
I can't take my eyes off fishface, and the immediate thought in my head as I pan from center-left to center-right was "looks like a fish, moves like a fish, steers like a cow."
I'd also submit that:
--Hayden Panerabreadlowertier will be the killer, because someone in a place of power continues to think her career should continue to get pushed.
--Neve Campbell has been legally dead for the last decade. Neve Campbell, R.I.P.
--No one is interested in seeing Limitless. Including Bobby DeNiro.
--Mr. Jennifer Connelly needs a new agent.
Posted by: D-Day at March 7, 2011 12:22 PM
I assumed it was a sea of honey (or hunny if you prefer the jug's spelling). I agree that most of these are design disasters. I dislike the Brandon Routh one the most. The presence of Peeps has sold me on Hop. I love a good Peep.
Posted by: hindulovegod at March 7, 2011 12:25 PM
--Mr. Jennifer Connelly needs a new agent.
Posted by: D-Day at March 7, 2011 12:22 PM
Or at least a new PR Man. He's blond, he's not tanned, he comes from Eng-a-land. BETTANY BETTANY!
Posted by: coveredinbees at March 7, 2011 12:27 PM
Never mind the apathy; have there been any reports of the HOP poster inspiring epileptic seizures? Dear lord.
It's a tie between Scream 4 and Limitless.
Also, @D-Day, re: Mr. Jennifer Connelly, YES.
Posted by: Samantha at March 7, 2011 12:28 PM
I couldn't see all of them. The Green Lantern poster was leaking Velveeta all over my monitor.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 7, 2011 12:31 PM
I like how they used the large picture of Courteney Cox's face in the background of the Scream poster.
Posted by: mswas at March 7, 2011 12:31 PM
He's blond, he's pissed, he'll see you in the "Worst Movie of the Year" lists, BETTANY! BETTANY!
*I take my threadjacks with plenty of syrup and only a moderate amount of melted butter*
And one and two and three and four and Wat doesn't lead he follows like a girl.
Posted by: D-Day at March 7, 2011 12:35 PM
When was the last time we say Robert DeNiro looking professional as opposed to like "a professional"?
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 7, 2011 12:36 PM
The Green Lantern poster looks suspiciously like Master Shake's Drizzle t-shirt graphic.
Posted by: Brian at March 7, 2011 12:36 PM
The bunny. It hurts my eyes.
Posted by: Julie at March 7, 2011 12:40 PM
Why is Neve Campbell on the Scream poster twice?
And shouldn't it be "Nueva Decada. Mismas Reglas"?
Posted by: Caspar at March 7, 2011 12:46 PM
I really wanted to say the Generic DeNiro Poster, but then I scrolled down and saw Apathy Personified (the Dylan Dog one with an actor I could care less...who is he again? Is he an actor? F@ck, I need to get out more).
I am almost at the point where I hate movies. So much suckage. We are awash is suck.
Posted by: klingonfree at March 7, 2011 12:54 PM
The Dylan Dog one is plain, but I'm strangely drawn to is since it somehow reminds me of the cover for Alone in the Dark for the Xbox, which I enjoyed:
http://img.game.co.uk/ml/3/2/8/6/328684ps_500h.jpg
The Limitless poster tells me fuck-all about the movie. I thought advertising was about informing the public of the product you're selling?
Posted by: Markus at March 7, 2011 12:58 PM
So much apathy...
...life force draining...
...must escape suckage...
...help...
Posted by: OldSchool60 at March 7, 2011 1:04 PM
I like the Dylan Dog one. It looks like it's paying subtle homage to the cover of an old pulp mystery novel.
Posted by: superasente at March 7, 2011 1:06 PM
The Scream 4 trailer does not inspire apathy.
The Scream 4 trailer inspires murderous rage.
The others? A resounding "Meh."
Posted by: The Wanderer at March 7, 2011 1:08 PM
Whosever urine that is, they are extremely dehydrated.
Posted by: Kargoyle at March 7, 2011 1:48 PM
I like the Dylan Dog one. It looks like it's paying subtle homage to the cover of an old pulp mystery novel.
Yes, what superasente said. But it needed a leeeetle bit more of the effects brush before being declared done. While I can admire that they used the rain to imply that brush effect, the fact that the effect is so subtle and limited to the background makes the attempt fall flat.
And yet it also looks like the cover of every Dresden book. Tsk.
Posted by: Joanna at March 7, 2011 1:52 PM
I don't know if it's the most boring, but the poster for Dylan Dog is certainly the stupidest in terms of marketing. The only thing we can gather from it is that it stars "BRANDON ROUTH." Seriously? You're putting all of your marketing eggs into THAT basket? You think Brandon Routh alone will drive people to the theater? Brandon Routh???
Posted by: jimbob at March 7, 2011 1:53 PM
I could care less
Do you misuse "nonplussed" too?
Posted by: Jay at March 7, 2011 1:59 PM
DeNiro isn't even trying in that poster. Isn't he supposed to be a villain or something? Bradley Cooper is trying his damndest to put on "angry but determined" face, meanwhile Bobby looks like the dad who was interrupted mid-cigarette to get in the family portrait.
Posted by: Erin S at March 7, 2011 2:00 PM
Every single one of them.
Posted by: Jadine at March 7, 2011 2:02 PM
Looking at the Limitless poster just makes me want to watch Total Recall.
"Open your mind. Open your mind. Open your mind."
Posted by: Fracas at March 7, 2011 2:23 PM
Mom and that kid are going to freeze in the vacuum of space.
Posted by: DarthCorleone at March 7, 2011 2:29 PM
apathy? what about hate?
Posted by: Smithster at March 7, 2011 2:42 PM
Thor's sex eyes are giving me the shivers. Ooooh, the things I'd do to that mountain of a man.
Green Lantern looks goddamn stupid. He's like a flying leaf of lettuce with his hideous band of ugly losers.
I want the Pooh one as a poster.
Other than that, big fat FEH.
Posted by: figgy at March 7, 2011 2:44 PM
I saw the trailer for that bunny movie. The rabbit shits jelly beans, and the people eat them. yum
Posted by: mswas at March 7, 2011 2:56 PM
Thors poster is covered in tigerblood
Posted by: Illuminatus at March 7, 2011 3:51 PM
"I'm an Atheist and your God(s) don't have the balls to strike me dead."
You have to come out for Hot Pockets eventually.
Posted by: Jim at March 7, 2011 3:53 PM
I'm feeling more vomitous than apathetic. Apparently vomitous is not even a word according to spell-check, but that's what I'm feeling--especially about Limitless. I don't know what it is about Bradley Cooper but I hate him. Loathe. Want to come across him in a dark alley and dropkick him into next week.
Posted by: pickled tink at March 7, 2011 4:18 PM
DeNiro didn't show up that day. They just photochopped in a promo shot of him standing around outside Starbuck's waiting for his crappuccino.
I didn't know Thor was red. Why is Thor red? I thought Thor was a full color comic. Why is there a Thor movie? Do people really like his comics THAT much? I remember I had to get a Thor Hero Clix at Comic Con for a friend who promptly sold it. No one likes you Thor.
Wow. A movie. With a title. Starring Brandon Routh. Has he done anything but that Superman movie? Does anyone KNOW he did that Superman movie? He's the most bankable aspect of this title with which no one is familiar? Good luck with that one, Hollywood.
Why is Pajiba promoting the poster for a fisting porno?
The trailer I saw for HOP, last night, prominently featured a jelly-bean-scat-joke. Very inspired "Studio that brought me Despicable Me". Thanks but no thanks.
Mars Needs Moms looks like Disney just pulled some old art work out of the 1950s vault, came up with a movie idea and printed the title on that old art to make the poster. Plus, this movie's trailers look really fucking shitty.
Uwe Boll made a movie about Assassin's Creed already?
Oh. Look. Someone used the number "4" as an "A" in the Scream poster. How very contemporary. So that movie is all about four has-beens and someone no one has heard of?
I *kinda* thought the Pooh poster was at least cool in its simplicity. Then I realized it's a play on Washington crossing the Delaware and I thought "That's pretty clever." Then I realized that I don't think Pooh and Washington really have ANY personality traits in common and I wasn't impressed anymore.
Posted by: lubeg at March 7, 2011 4:19 PM
Pooh makes me warm and fuzzy, though.
(Don't say that out loud--sounds kinky-gross.)
Posted by: pickled tink at March 7, 2011 4:19 PM
It's nice how they've gone back to hand drawing movie posters again. Those slightly creepy blank eyes, the subtle little mistakes where an ear lobe has been oddly blended into a neck so they look sort of like a cheap Star Trek alien of the week really hark back to a simpler, more innocent time, when everything didn't have to be so perfect and flawless.
*run on sentence for the WIN. Tigerblood bitches
Posted by: Nadine at March 7, 2011 5:24 PM
The Winnie the Pooh poster looks like they're floating in pee. And with a last name like Pooh... well you see where I'm going with this.
Posted by: Gnaius at March 7, 2011 5:54 PM
I would really like for green lantern to turn out good, but everything they put out has the stench of disappointment all over it. I keep telling myself that this ridiculous GL uniform just doesn't photograph well, and I just need to see it in motion. But the more evidence presented to me says otherwise.
Posted by: protoformX at March 7, 2011 5:54 PM
people involved in the making of these should be fired.
Posted by: splinter at March 7, 2011 5:55 PM
For some reason the Thor poster makes me want to head on over to Lifetime,Wow.
I honestly, truly can't say why.
Posted by: Nadine at March 7, 2011 6:08 PM
I nearly died of apathy overload with all these posters, but even though my ovaries died of apathy a loooooong-ass time ago, that Winnie the Pooh poster gave them a bit of a tweak.
Posted by: MM at March 7, 2011 7:02 PM
Does anyone know who Brandon Routh is? Really?
I love GL comics. Please don't suck, GL movie *pleads* Thor looks soooooooooooo meh.
Posted by: Fuckchop at March 7, 2011 8:20 PM
@lubeg
A poll was conducted about a year and a half ago, and among the most well known Marvel characters among non-comic fans, Thor ranked somewhere in the top 20. The same pol was conducted a few months ago and Thor is in the top 8. Thor is a fascinating character (and arguably one of the most powerful comic characters ever created, regardless of universe.)
Posted by: Illuminatus at March 7, 2011 10:05 PM
There's a movie version of "The Cape?" Oh, it's Priest.
Posted by: Richard at March 7, 2011 10:10 PM
The Limitless one is actually kind of freaking me out? Whats up with his eyes? They look like two little laser beams.
The one I really didn't like, though, is Mars Needs Moms. I generally like a good kiddie flick but that one looks pretty dumb and that poster isn't doing much to change my mind.
Excessive photoshopping aside, I kind of like the Dylan Dog one.
Posted by: Even Stevens at March 7, 2011 10:14 PM
oh and Pooh! I do love me some Winnie the Pooh and no amount of Sea of Pee comments will change that.
Posted by: Even Stevens at March 7, 2011 10:15 PM
"Dylan Dog" is the smallest shitpile.
Posted by: , at March 7, 2011 11:02 PM
What the hell has happened in cinema today that has allowed Robert DeNiro to stand behind Bradley Cooper!?! Never under any circumstanc-
Analyze This
Analyze That
Meet the Parents
Meet the Fockers
Little Fockers
Machete
Showtime...
Oh... Christ, and now I'm depressed.
Posted by: brdkelli at March 7, 2011 11:49 PM
Mars one. For sure.
Posted by: Sarah J-Town at March 8, 2011 4:38 AM
why are they not calling the Assassin's Creed movie, Assassin's Creed? Huh, What that's not the movie poster based off the game? Looks at game again,back to movie poster huh whatever you say.
Posted by: blacksred at March 8, 2011 5:42 AM
What no "Rise of the Apes" poster yet?
Pooh is about it.
Posted by: Jim at March 8, 2011 1:22 PM
Points to Green Lantern for looking like a comic book. But the trailer stank so I'm not going to see it anyway.
Negative points to the Hunny Sea, because Winnie the Pooh has never in his unnatural life had an expression of grim determination. The closest he gets is confusion.
Posted by: Robin at March 25, 2011 12:40 AM
zzzzz...
Sorry, did someone say something?