By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (65)
Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance
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Posted by: Forbiddendonut at September 8, 2011 11:38 AM
All of them, except "Tinker, Tailer, Soldier, Spy" and maybe "Vamps."
Posted by: BWeaves at September 8, 2011 11:38 AM
I can't stop staring at those tiny tiny handcuffs. So tiny.
Perhaps they had to shop everything so that Heigl's man-hands would be less obvious.
Posted by: linny at September 8, 2011 11:40 AM
The Tucker and Dale poster is the only one that really catches my eye. The others are pretty damn boring.
And: Busy Philipps? Is that a real name? Is it pronounced "bizzee"? And how does she deal with it at work when somebody keeps pestering for something? Does she shout, "Look, can't you see I'm busy?"
Posted by: , at September 8, 2011 11:44 AM
The first two look like something I'd rather skip, as well as that "Young Adult" thing.
Tucker & Dale vs. Evil is awesome!
Posted by: annika at September 8, 2011 11:47 AM
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (because, duh?)
Real Steel (Don't judge me...I like underdog movies, robot movies, and Hugh Jackman movies.)
Margaret (About damn time)
The Rum Diary (...I'm thirsty.)
Posted by: DoctorControversy at September 8, 2011 11:49 AM
She's NOT Stephanie Plum! And she looks far too stylish and together. Grr.
Posted by: Carrie at September 8, 2011 11:49 AM
I will watch Cillian Murphy in anything, and that poster for Retreat makes me never wanna see him in anything ever again.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy's looks pretty awesome, though that could just be the fact that it's Gary F***ing Oldman front and center, and Young Adult's poster really made me chuckle.
However, who would NOT wanna see a movie with a poster like Tucker & Dale vs Evil's? A poster featuring ACTUAL COMIC-STYLE ART instead of the airbrushed crap that Marvel churns out? Come on, that is at LEAST worth one trip to the theater! Although I think lot of people might accidentally go to it expecting a Shaun Of The Dead sequel, since Tucker and Dale totally look like Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in the poster.
Posted by: Danny from Puerto Rico at September 8, 2011 11:54 AM
One for the Money is the only one I wouldn't see because of the the poster. None of them motivate me to go watch any of them...Except for maybe Tucker & Dale.
Posted by: Freller at September 8, 2011 11:56 AM
1
2
3
4
7 &
8.
Posted by: MissRos at September 8, 2011 11:58 AM
I'd ignore all of them EXCEPT One For The Money. Heigl looks hot and that gets my attention. The others are just typical movie poster BS.
Posted by: Marky7 at September 8, 2011 12:02 PM
I want that The Rum Diary poster and I like the Young Adult and the Tucker & Dale vs. Evil posters. The Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy one is boring but there's no way I'm ignoring that movie. The rest I don't give a shit about.
Posted by: jM at September 8, 2011 12:02 PM
OMG Carrie thank you for pointing that out! I didn't realize that was a Janet Evanovich adaptation. NO way. Plum's hair needs to be MUCH bigger, for starts.
Posted by: banana at September 8, 2011 12:04 PM
lets see...
One for the money - Heigl is paying men to handcuff her and have sex with her? She has to pay men and then handcuff THEM to have sex with her?
I dont know how she does it - From left to right. Like her, love her, love her, OMG HORSE FACED HAG! NEIGH I SAY NEIGH!
Retreat - No names and never was's
Vamps - Alicia Silverstone is still alive?! Who knew?
Knuckle - No idea.
tinker tailor soldier spy - With that cast gotta see it.
Real Steel - No because I had a rock-em sock-em robot game when i was a kid.
Young adult - No I've seen immature adults before. In real life.
Margaret - No. The cast looks lame and I get my Anna allotment in True Blood.
The rum diary - Maybe. But I have seen Depp playing a goofy drunk before.
Tucker and dale vs Evil - No idea what this is but its made by MTV and they haven't made anything good since Aeon Flux.
Posted by: logan at September 8, 2011 12:07 PM
"Written by Diablo Cody" is all I need to see to send me screaming to the hills.
Also, I hope I'm not the only one who gets intensely annoyed by vampires having pointed incisors, rather than elongated canines. Just bugs the fuck out of me.
Posted by: Todd at September 8, 2011 12:12 PM
I Don't know How She Does It. Oliva Munn and Sarah Jessica Parker in an obvious chick flick? Hell no. Pierce Bronson being involved just gives me flashbacks to Mamma Mia.
Posted by: Matt at September 8, 2011 12:13 PM
I would watch Real Steal and TTSS. Oldman is the shizz, and so is Jackman. I feel like I don't know how she does it would draw me for Hendricks but I think SJP and her equine presence cancel Hendricks out.
Posted by: Camytaru at September 8, 2011 12:13 PM
Yay! I've been waiting on The Rum Diary to get made for years!
Most of the other posters are pretty run of the mill. Young Adult is clever. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is great and I hate to knock it, but I would love to see real Alan Tudyk more.
Posted by: Quorren at September 8, 2011 12:18 PM
One part outrage.
One part justice.
Three parts rum.
Mix well.
...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Posted by: superasente would never watch that bullshit at September 8, 2011 12:28 PM
Knuckle? This looks like a parody of a fight movie poster. Had to pop over to IMDB just to verify that this was a real film.
Posted by: Inaras at September 8, 2011 12:39 PM
Too bad Tucker and Dale isn't really animated.
Posted by: John W at September 8, 2011 12:46 PM
I'd actually see most of these! Though the first two definitely not. Katherine Heigl is an automatic turn-off, but did they feel they had to balance out the leads that would make me WANT to see the second (Hendricks and Phillips) with two that make me want to run screaming?
I'll definitely be checking out "TTSS" and "Tucker and Dale vs. Evil". The latter is a Seth Rogen/Jay Baruchel joint, if I'm not mistaken. So the parallels to Pegg and Frost aren't that far off!
Posted by: Bert at September 8, 2011 12:47 PM
That's a lot of horrible posters other than Tucker & Dale and Tinker Tailor Sailor Spy. Also, I saw that Tucker & Dale vs Evil is playing on HD NET Movies on Sept 28 before it comes to (likely limited) theaters so those with that channel set your DVR accordingly.
Posted by: TylerDFC at September 8, 2011 12:52 PM
Easy: One For The Money.
Posted by: Seany D at September 8, 2011 12:59 PM
The ads for How Does She Do It make me stabby:
Look at me! I climbed the corporate ladder! I'm still gawky and insecure! I fall down! You can see my bra!
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 8, 2011 1:03 PM
Man. The posters for the first two hurt my eyes so there's no way I'm seeing the actual movie.
Posted by: stardust at September 8, 2011 1:18 PM
All of 'em 'cept the Sid Vicious one.
Posted by: seth at September 8, 2011 1:19 PM
My brain is still trying to figure out who was the jerk who put Busy Phillips and Christina Hendricks in the same movie as SJP and Olivia Munn. Even Munn's face seems to say "what am I even doing here?"
Posted by: Holly at September 8, 2011 1:23 PM
I think I've forgotten the Heigl movie already.
Posted by: Joseph Finn at September 8, 2011 1:28 PM
What is this Retreat movie and when can I see it? Jamie Bell AND Cillian Murphy? And some kind of horror? Wild horses couldn't drag me away.
I'll ignore all the rest except Tucker And Dale...
Posted by: MM at September 8, 2011 1:28 PM
TTSS (great cast and story). Tucker&Dale looks kind of funny.
Can't believe people are still paying Katherine Heigl and Hugh Jackman to be in movies. It's just sad.
Posted by: Rum Cove at September 8, 2011 1:30 PM
Whoops, Tucker and Dale is not the Rogen/Baruchel joint. That's Jay & Seth Vs. the Apocalypse. I will be seeing both.
Posted by: Bert at September 8, 2011 1:57 PM
I would choose Tucker & Dale Vs Evil, Margaret and Tinker, tailor, soldier, spy. Maybe I don't know how she does is for a silly girls'night.
The one with Heigl on it is just unwatchable, at first I thought it was a fake, so cliché.
Young adult and The rum diary posters are so dull that, just...no, please!
Posted by: sarah at September 8, 2011 2:12 PM
YES! A Photoshop disaster when you need one.
Suck it Olivia 'Look at me! Look at me! LOOK. AT. ME.' Munn!
and blimey, is dat Busy Phillips looking extra hot? Goddamn!
Fuck the person who screwed up Thandie and Cillian's face.
And Heigl just had to cover up the one thing dat anyone really cares bout her anymore.
And someone could have added an outline to the rum bottles. Way to annoy a potential customer.
Posted by: haplo at September 8, 2011 2:17 PM
I really wanted to see Tucker and Dale until I got to the bottom of the poster and saw MTV films. That pretty much guarantees a high level of suck.
Gary Oldman prominently featured on a film poster? Gotta see Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.
Johnny Depp and Rum? Could have gone, yo ho ho and another bottle of shit from Disney, but since I recognize the film title as a Hunter S. Thompson title, Fuck Yes!
Posted by: LwoodPDowd at September 8, 2011 2:22 PM
Dustin, this is a joke, right?
Those first two poster must be made up.
Some sort of Adobe Generic Movie Poster Template.
Posted by: OldSchool60 at September 8, 2011 2:33 PM
Tucker and Dale rokcs!
Posted by: YesPlease at September 8, 2011 2:41 PM
Is the dog gonna eat that lady's head, cuz that I would watch..
Posted by: Doreen at September 8, 2011 3:14 PM
1) Anything starring Katherine Heigl.
B) Anything starring Sarah Jessica Parker.
Velociraptor) Anything written by Diablo Cody (I weep for the Evil Dead remake).
Posted by: Nugs at September 8, 2011 3:23 PM
HEY IDIOTS! Tucker and Dale VS. Evil is NOT MADE BY MTV. That poster is just WATERMARKED because it came from MTV NEWS!
Posted by: craig at September 8, 2011 3:23 PM
This is a hard one but The Heigl wins. That's because there's no Anne Hathaway poster here.
Posted by: Candy at September 8, 2011 3:38 PM
Based on the poster design alone - not the names on the poster - Tucker and Dale, and perhaps Young Adult. and I can't tell if the Rum Diary poster is deliberately intended to make me lose interest in the film or if the designer is just that fucking inept.
These posters also raise the question: whose face is more shudder inducing - Olivia Munn or Anna Paquin?
Posted by: Pope Jon Paul Jovi at September 8, 2011 3:45 PM
I'd ignore the Heigl movie because Heigl is in it, and Knuckle because there's nothing compelling about the poster. Also, Young Adult... is that a diet coke in her hand? Who the $%#& cares about a diet-coke-binge movie by Diablo Cody? That poster looks like a prank.
@Pope Jon Paul Jovi, one vote for Olivia Munn is more shudder inducing
Posted by: Carrie at September 8, 2011 4:00 PM
Oh fuck me. I'm going to have to see One For The Money. . .
I was a big fan of the Stephanie Plum novels until I got to about 10 or 11 and realized they were all the same and awful. But still, I was such a fan that I think I'll have to see it. Ugh.
Posted by: beletseri at September 8, 2011 4:05 PM
They can all fuck off...except the one with Christina Hendricks. Because I would really like to have sex with her.
Posted by: Juicy Weatherbee at September 8, 2011 5:31 PM
All I know is that I just watched the trailer for Margaret, and it looked godawful. Why did all those people sign up for that? Come on, Damon! You're better than that!
Posted by: Mel C. at September 8, 2011 5:37 PM
I have already seen Knuckle and Tucker and Dale. I am in Real Steel(as an extra), so I have to see that to see if my face actually shows up. Retreat looks great.
You would have to get a SWAT team to make me go to that Heigl movie.
Posted by: Sean at September 8, 2011 5:49 PM
I have already seen Knuckle and Tucker and Dale. I am in Real Steel(as an extra), so I have to see that to see if my face actually shows up. Retreat looks great.
You would have to get a SWAT team to make me go to that Heigl movie.
Posted by: Sean at September 8, 2011 5:56 PM
*gasp* Muffin Honeycrisp!
Posted by: Jim Doggie at September 8, 2011 6:06 PM
Any poster with SJP's pinched face leering works on me like a crucifix brandished at a vampire. The generic-ass title doesn't help either.
Posted by: Craig at September 8, 2011 6:15 PM
As someone who used to frequent (and temporarily work at) video stores, that Vamps poster is totally pinging all of my plagiarism bells. That cover design has totally been done before.
Also, hate Diablo Cody, but that poster for Young Adult is pretty dope. Makes me yearn for my old Sweet Valley Highs.
Posted by: Skyler Durden at September 8, 2011 7:01 PM
Oh my word, how awesome is the Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy poster!?!? Not that I needed ANOTHER reason to want to go see it or anything.
Oh and it looks like they have other posters for pretty much all the main characters over on IMDB... *Heeeeeff*, I'm actually sweating right now. In anticipation, obviously.
Posted by: Lisa Bee at September 8, 2011 8:26 PM
I saw Tucker and Dale at a Film Festival. It's actually pretty funny, if you've seen the summer slasher films it's parodying. It seems to draw most heavily from Friday the Thirteenth II.
Posted by: John G. at September 8, 2011 9:39 PM
I instantly recognized Tony Moore's awesome artwork for the Tucker and Dale poster, so I'm a fan!
Posted by: Jeremy at September 9, 2011 12:30 AM
Fucking One For the Money. I love the Janet Evanovich books. They're definitely escapist fluff, but they're fun. Heigl has zero resemblance to Stephanie Plum (in physicality or personality) and is the opposite of fun.
Why do all the people in Retreat look fake? They look like the video game people that are animated to look like real humans but aren't. Creepy.
Posted by: Even Stevens at September 9, 2011 12:37 AM
'One for the Money' makes me wonder if they even read the books.
If they had, they wouldn't have missed the opportunity to show a much more accurate Stephanie Plum scene, namely, covered in garbage while her car burns in the background.
Picture Heigl in that situation and try to tell me you wouldn't buy a ticket.
Posted by: ScienceGeek at September 9, 2011 1:57 AM
"One for the money" and "I don't know how she does it". But then again, the posters scream "cheesy romantic comedy" and that's simply not a genre I'm interested in.
Though I must admit that if I didn't know what "The Rum Diary" was, that poster wouldn't really be peaking my interest.
Also the poster for "Young Adult" poster looks more like the cover of a bargain-priced book than a movie poster. Another movie with Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody teamed up? Count me out. (Whatever happened to the grittier director who gave me "Thank You For Smoking"? What's with all this sweet and sickly "isn't life wonderful" cr*p?)
Still, I'm actually really keen on seeing a lot of those:
- "Tucker and Dale Vs Evil" looks great fun.
- "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" looks like it has the potential to be the best movie of the year.
- "Retreat" stars Cillian Murphy AND Jamie Bell? Sign me up!
- Alicia Silverstone is still making movies? (Everyone loved "Clueless", right?) And she's in a vampire movie called "Vamps" with Sigourney Weaver? Cool!
As for the rest:
- With a Margaret Thatcher movie on the way, calling your movie "Margaret" might be a mistake. Still, the marketing guys presumably couldn't change the title and the poster is good.
- "Real Steel" sounds awful, but there's nothing wrong with that poster.
- "Knuckle" actually looks really interesting, but reviewers don't seem to have been greatly enamoured with it. While most reviewers on RT have rated it "fresh" they generally seem to add the proviso that while they were impressed, they weren't particularly entertained.
Posted by: fatpie42 at September 9, 2011 6:37 AM
I've seen Tucker and Dale, and loved it.
I would ignore EVERYTHING except...
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, and Rum Diary.
MIGHT be persuaded to see Young Adult, but I will ABSOLUTELY ignore anything starring Rainbow Killer or Peniston. blargh
Posted by: dammitjanet at September 9, 2011 8:19 AM
I'd ignore all of them except for Tinker Tailor because Gary Oldman is on it, and he is awesome, and Young Adult because it's an interesting poster.
I am interested in Rum Diary and Tucker and Dale but only because of Depp for Rum Diary and because I've heard good things about Tucker and Dale.
Posted by: asdff at September 9, 2011 9:22 AM
I have ignored all of them except for Tucker and Dale.
Posted by: Ballymena Bob at September 9, 2011 11:44 AM
Would ignore the following:
One for the Money - really don't like Heigl or Janet Evanovich
I Don't Know How She Does It - I don't really know why.
Retreat - I may be the only person who finds Cillian Murphy totally creepy with absolutely no redeeming physical qualities whatsoever.
Real Steel - I love Hugh Jackman. He looks like a tool here.
Margaret - the whole blurry thing just turns me off.
Posted by: Laura at September 9, 2011 12:28 PM
One For the Money
I Don't Know How She Does It
Young Adult
I would have added Margaret to that list, especially since I have no idea what the film is about, but some of the cast names have ensured that I won't completely write it off, just yet.
Posted by: csb at September 9, 2011 1:30 PM
I am disappointed in anyone who didn't say Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. Love that poster.
Posted by: yodalicious at September 9, 2011 9:48 PM
I love how the (very interesting, very good) posters for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and Young Adult are just sandwiched in with all the awful, generic, and poorly designed crap. I'm ignoring everything but those two.
Posted by: Talia at September 9, 2011 10:57 PM
I'll watch anything with Cillian Murpy in it. If it has Jamie Bell in it, all the better.
The poster for The Rum Diary looks quite nice. It reminds me of that awesome poster for Rules of Attraction, though that one was better.
I'll watch Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, but not exactly because of the poster.
And dammit, Heigl, quit ruining things.
Posted by: Zirze at September 10, 2011 9:24 AM
Poster alone?
One For The Money
I Don't Know How She Does it
Odds of me seeing any of this 11 films in the theater? 0%