By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (62)
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Posted by: Forbiddendonut at March 29, 2011 12:04 PM
Wow, "Breaking Dawn" really pulled out all the stops, huh?
Posted by: avocadolime at March 29, 2011 12:05 PM
Pretty much all of them except Tree of Life's.
I really, REALLY did not want to know what Tyler Perry was doing next. Oh god. I want to murder a kitten after seeing that poster.
Posted by: vic at March 29, 2011 12:06 PM
All of them but "Super 8."
Posted by: Slash at March 29, 2011 12:06 PM
Twilight is just lazy, but why bother spending money on marketing when it will have absolutely no effect on the box office? No point in eating into the margins.
But Georgia Shore . . . There aren't enough babies or enough suns for that.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at March 29, 2011 12:08 PM
Judy Moody looks like every horrific kids movie ever made...with Rollergirl in it.
I was never going to see Georgia Shore or Breaking Dawn so those are mehs for me.
So from this list, I'd say...Thor and Pirates make me less willing to see them.
Posted by: Fredo at March 29, 2011 12:11 PM
judt moody, passion play, and madea--for sure
Posted by: Candice Frederick at March 29, 2011 12:16 PM
I've seen "Passion Play." All I can say is don't.
And "Georgia Shore" looks like it will bring nightmares to my future adopted children.
Posted by: Paolo at March 29, 2011 12:17 PM
Passion Play's looks just like that Michael Douglas/Amber Tamblyn movie I cannot bother knowing the title of, which itself looks just like A Perfect Murder.
Update: it's possible I don't mean APM. It might be Kiss the Girls or Double Jeopardy or some other ultimately forgettable late 90s thriller.
Posted by: Courtney at March 29, 2011 12:19 PM
Judy's shirt says "I ate a shark." If they explain this as part of her origin story, and she gets a shark's superpowers somehow, I might be sold. Otherwise, no.
Posted by: Markus at March 29, 2011 12:20 PM
The Tree of Life: I will never watch a Terrence Malick movie again in my life. I saw The Thin Red Line with a free pass and asked the theater manager to reimburse my GAS MONEY.
Posted by: lubeg at March 29, 2011 12:21 PM
The Judy Moody thing looks like very colorful puke. Also, is that Heather Graham? Good god. Maybe the colors are of her vomit after she realized what movie she was in.
May she puke on the Tyler Perry? ALL OVER THE TYLER PERRY.
So yeah, those two. In case you couldn't tell.
Posted by: figgy at March 29, 2011 12:23 PM
they all make me very sad.
Posted by: matty blue at March 29, 2011 12:25 PM
As I looked into the bowl this morning after my morning movement, I was left without a name to describe the color I saw swirling down into the sewers.
After seeing these posters I've come up with one
Breaking Dawn Braun. Complements the Ti-D-Bol Blue nicely. Which is about as close I want to see the actual movie.
Posted by: bleujayone at March 29, 2011 12:25 PM
Is Tyler Perry + Jersey Shore tantamount to a double negative and thus cancels both elements out? Could we get a ruling on that from someone?
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 29, 2011 12:26 PM
I saw a trailer for The Tree of Life when I went to see Vanishing on 7th Street (geh), and I honestly thought it was some kind of witty deadpan parody of the pretentious artsy films that people always think of when they think of bad indie films. Then I realized it was ACTUALLY a real trailer for a serious film.
Posted by: Nat Kittyface at March 29, 2011 12:26 PM
I concur with Mrs. Julien’s assessment of the Perry/Shore equation. Her math is sound, her logic impeccable. She is a hail fellow well met. Let me begin the chorus of HUZZAHS for her efforts to release us from this particular claustrophobic prison cell of popular culture.
Posted by: Mrs. Skipper at March 29, 2011 12:26 PM
Why do the faces in about half of these posters look like CGI instead of the real people?
If I made my decisions on just the poster, the only ones I would see would be Super 8 and Twilight, but I know I am going to Harry Potter regardless of a crappy poster and am commmited to never giving even a penny to the Twilight franchise.
So, I guess this wasn't the game for me.
Posted by: spljt at March 29, 2011 12:26 PM
In that case, could someone get to work on a Kardashians/Charlie Sheen cross-pollination?
Posted by: Mrs. Mort at March 29, 2011 12:27 PM
Fuck all of them, except Harry Potter and Thor. And I might agree to watch Pirates and Hangover if under the influence of something strong. What in fuckery is Super 8?
Posted by: Joker at March 29, 2011 12:27 PM
I am not a fan of Tyler Perry, but his marketing people are very good. I laughed at Medea Black Swan poster and I'm laughing at this. I guess Tyler Perry has manage to afford me two units of entertainment. I'll saw a penny into sixteenths and send him a little something.
Posted by: Mrs. Kowalski at March 29, 2011 12:28 PM
I thought Bill Murray was Paul Sorvino at first. I was wondering why his name was on the poster but not his picture.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 29, 2011 12:28 PM
Nothing will stop me from seeing Harry Potter.
Judy Moody hurts my eyes.
Georgia Shore hurts my soul.
That Thor poster is booooori-zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted by: Patty O'Green at March 29, 2011 12:37 PM
Judy Moody made my eyes bleed. Seriously, I'm dictating this post to the paramedics on my way to the hospital.
He is.
Posted by: superwhatamisupposedtotypehere at March 29, 2011 12:42 PM
I would watch Harry Potter if the movie poster was Dan Radcliffe throttling a baby cheetah.
But I will never see a Tyler Perry movie.
Posted by: Julie at March 29, 2011 12:49 PM
Well, I didn't want to see the first "Hangover", so...
Posted by: Jay at March 29, 2011 12:50 PM
I'll still see Harry Potter, I'll just make it a point to see it a few weeks after the mega-fans have already had their fill.
I'll Netflix The Hangover II.
That Judy Moody flick looks like any old Nickelodeon kid's fare. I won't be watching it, but I'm not their target audience.
Super 8. All I could think about was the shitty motel chain. Then I saw that it was Abrams and Spielberg; now all I can think of is fucking aliens. Oh, there will be fucking aliens, for sure.
That Tree of Life movie looks like bloated puffery. That poster is so busy, it's unbelievable. Lemme guess, it revolves around the interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated people? That movie can fuck off.
Passion Play looks like the "winner" here. Christ Almighty, it looks bad. The title sounds like a nineties Skinamax film. The actors...ugh. I agree with whoever said that Bill Murray has a weird Paul Sorvino thing happening.
Posted by: Kaleena at March 29, 2011 12:57 PM
Well, it went like this:
Super 8- meh
Harry Potter!-!!!
The Hangover II- ugh! probably the winner unless...
Judy Moody!!!- UGH! Definitely the winner...
Pirates- glancing over this...
Oh! Natalie! Oh Herow! (in Kim Jong Il's voice)...
and then fucking Madea, dressed as Snookie. At this point, my eyes fell out and my face melted like that bad guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark, and so I missed the Twilight poster which, I'm sure, is as boring and vapid as the movie will be.
So, I'm going to have to say (sigh) Georgia Shore.
On a side note: Congrats to the guy who greenlit Soul Plane on getting another film made. I'm assuming you MUST have been behind that as well if you backed Georgia Shore...
Posted by: EJ at March 29, 2011 12:59 PM
By making decisions like giving your film's lead billing to an ambulatory plastic sex mannequin over no-talent assclowns like Mickey Rourke and Bill Murray, Rebecca Wang Entertainment is showing that it does not give a fuck what you think.
Posted by: Kballs at March 29, 2011 1:02 PM
Those are some awful posters. Except perhaps the Hangover 2. The Tyler Perry posters are cute. But perhaps too smart for their intended audiences. And Marvel clearly doesn't know how to market Thor. No one is seeing that for Natalie Portman. At least Your Highness seems to base it's marketing on Portman's bony ass.
Posted by: Sean at March 29, 2011 1:10 PM
I'm tired of all you armchair critics hating on the subversive talent that is Megan Fox. She is this generation's Bill Murray, and this is the film where the mentor passes the torch to the apprentice. Like Spy Game with Redford and Pitt.
Posted by: zeke the pig at March 29, 2011 1:24 PM
i need a "i ate a shark" tee NOW.
Posted by: gp at March 29, 2011 1:26 PM
Why did they give Harry Potter a blood goatee? Was it a way of trying to show that he's getting older without having to actually make him grow facial hair? Did he devour Nagini like corn on the cob after she went for Snape? Has Ginny moved past her coquettish "zip me up" phase and into her clown makeup one? If so, am I way behind on what the kids are into these days?
Posted by: esme at March 29, 2011 1:29 PM
Ill see Super 8 and THor but thats it. Oh and and Tree of Life for sure. Hangover can wait for DVD all the others look like a waste. I dont understand why the Pirates movies are all over 2 hours. They'd be solid movies if they were 90 minutes.
Posted by: Sad Rockstar at March 29, 2011 1:31 PM
I will watch the Tree of Life. I love Malick, he makes his own films with detail and passion. It will be beautifully shot, cut and acted, let's hope the story is well written. I will pay to watch the hangover 2, because the first one was funny as hell. If speilberg directed super 8 I would pay to see it, but Abrahms? Fuck that hipster douche, he doesn't know how to finish anything he starts. He sucks and so will Super 8, it takes more than Star Trek to prove to me your talented. If we all keep ignoring Tyler Perry he will leave us alone...right? Every thing else I don't care for, unless my fiancé does, then those will be the films I see first because I have no power in my relationship and she will force my to watch them.
Posted by: Gamal at March 29, 2011 1:45 PM
Yeah, I'm in the "they all make me very, very sad" camp.
I'm kind of at a loss for the MOST horrendous one, but it's kind of a tie between Georgia Shore and Judy Moody, if only because that latter is too Technicolor and makes me want to puke (a Technicolor rainbow).
The Passion Play is a strong contender, not so much for the poster itself, but once you realize that it STARS Megan Fox, well... UGH.
Posted by: MM at March 29, 2011 1:51 PM
Every single one of these posters is crap. These are some of the worst movie posters I've ever seen, including the Harry Potter one, and nothing will keep me from seeing that movie.
Posted by: Whorish Mouth at March 29, 2011 1:58 PM
That Tree of Life movie looks like bloated puffery. That poster is so busy, it's unbelievable. Lemme guess, it revolves around the interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated people? That movie can fuck off.
Ahahahahah It is genuinely hilarious how ridiculous your comment is. Especially when you follow a movie site!! Oh man, that was not a forced pretentious laugh.
Tree of Life is obviously the control for this experiment. Terrence Malick = God
The Harry Potter poster actually makes me happy, because it's finally ending. I can't wait for that franchise to be over.
Posted by: Theseus at March 29, 2011 2:01 PM
Oh how I can't wait for the aliens of "Super 8" and the fucking nonsensical, never ending lens flare that J.J. will most likely utilize in a lazy effort to create tension, anxiety and "Oh my god this moment is so intense!!!" scenarios.
Posted by: Barnes78 at March 29, 2011 2:07 PM
I was always going to see Harry Potter and, probably, Pirates, in second run ($2!!!). Have not heard of any of the others, but probably wasn't going to see them. All these posters suck, though I too am drawn to the potential bloated puffery of Tree of Life, and, hey, for 2 bucks, I'll see almost anything.
But Megan Fox ruined my life. No way, no how.
Posted by: Anon at March 29, 2011 2:18 PM
Every bleeding one of them?
Posted by: Jerry at March 29, 2011 2:25 PM
I think the worst poster from a marketing standpoint is the Harry Potter one. It tells me nothing but the date. Even Tree of Life has the title on the poster.
I'll even admit to liking this series of Madea posters (with Madea as pop culture icons). Tyler Perry knows the real draw for his comedies and he's delivering it.
Posted by: Robert at March 29, 2011 2:28 PM
>The Tyler Perry posters are cute. But perhaps too smart for their intended audiences.
What is that supposed to mean? I expect Perry's intended audience is smart enough to realise that the movie is called "Madea's Big Happy Family" unlike most on here...
Posted by: Alonzo Hawk at March 29, 2011 2:58 PM
Thank you, Robert. And Sean, obviously that TP poster is going over some 'smart' heads here because there's not a movie called 'Georgia Shore'! It's 'Madea's Happy Family'. TP has been spoofing pop culture lately. And frankly I think he looks better on this poster than all those Jersey Shore folk.
Posted by: Shazza at March 29, 2011 3:00 PM
Georgia Shore looks like a pretend movie from 30 Rock.
Posted by: jon29 at March 29, 2011 3:12 PM
My answer to the question posed by this post is, everthing except for:
Super 8
Tree of Life
Thor
and the posters for Tree of Life and Thor are, well, umm...bad. Especially Tree of Life. Not bad enough to dissuade me from seeing them, but bad.
Posted by: Groundloop at March 29, 2011 3:15 PM
Well said Esme, clown makeup I banish you! Or accio clown makeup so I can burn it. All the posters are crap crap crap. Super 8 has been of course intentionally secretive from the beginning but that poster doesn't make me want to see whatever is trying to pound it's way out of that train in the first trailer. Unless it's the Enterprise.
Posted by: Allison at March 29, 2011 3:49 PM
Best To Worst Posters (Not Movies)
1. Super 8
2. Harry Potter 7: Part 2
3(Tie). Tree Of Life
3(Tie). Pirates Of The Carribean 4 (DAMMIT GRUSH!!)
4. Hangover 2
5. Thor
6. Twilight
7. Madea's Stereotyping Shitfest
8. Judy Moody and the Summer's Most Forgettable Kids Movie
9. Megan Fox's Last Movie
Posted by: Ja Ja JA at March 29, 2011 4:05 PM
I'll see some of these despite the posters (Super 8 and Harry Potter being stand-outs). But dear god is the new Tyler Perry scaring me away. This Jersey obsession needs to stop.
And is that Heather Graham I spy in that kids movie?
Posted by: Sassafrass Green at March 29, 2011 5:28 PM
HP7-2: The Elder Wand looks like a sex toy for an anal virgin. That being said, I'm probably gonna go see it anyway.
Judy Moody: Just for the terrible Totally Radical word usage. When will adults learn to never assume they have a handle on youth slang?
Passion Play: Megan Fox can not be saved by anyone. Not Optimus Prime. Not Mickey Rourke. No one.
Pirates 4: The real problem with these sorts of posters is that they don't look like anything unless you see the rest of the "collection". Oh, look, it's a pirate with a creepy stare. That's...compelling.
Thor: That being said, "The Woman of Science" is badass and I will totally see this flick.
Georgia Shore: I would only see it if it were subtitled Tyler Perry Must Die and was banned for being an actual snuff film.
Breaking Dawn: Just when I thought I couldn't hate Twilight anymore, a boring-as-fuck poster.
Posted by: Shadowen at March 29, 2011 5:30 PM
Whoops. Forgot the link for my post.
Posted by: Shadowen at March 29, 2011 5:31 PM
You couldn't pay me to care about any of those...
Passion Play's tag line should be:
"Not exiting Mom's vag till that hack Fox is removed from the delivery room."
Posted by: I.J. Reilly at March 29, 2011 6:09 PM
Tough choice. That Tyler Perry poster is giving off a serious "movie movie" vibe, but the Twilight poster sparkles.
Posted by: Irving Washington at March 29, 2011 6:15 PM
Easy. Twilight: Breaking Wind.
Posted by: Odnon at March 29, 2011 7:49 PM
The Harry Potter poster makes me want to spit on a napkin and start getting...hold still!...the dirt off of...I don't *care* that your friends are watching...his FACE!
Posted by: Kati at March 29, 2011 8:19 PM
Pretty much all of them except for Tree of Life, although I probably will end up seeing Super 8.
Posted by: Leopold at March 29, 2011 9:25 PM
Why does the Death Stick look so goddamn fking weak? Jesus Christ, I thought this in Deathly Hallow Part 1 as well but I hoped Voldemort would've at least improved it, like each new Doctor does to the sonic screwdriver. That thing looks like it'd break if I used it to scratch my arse
Posted by: Laurie at March 29, 2011 9:47 PM
Harry Potter poster is pretty freakin' epic.
Judy Moody is a dumb poster but its for children so I'll back off it.
Clearly the winner (or should I say horrible loser) is Georgia Shore. It's...it's worst than...anything. I understand the Tyler Perry hate and I understand that that poster doesn't surprise many people but...as a fan of Diaries of a Mad Black Woman (the first Perry movie that started them all essentially)...I can say that Georgia Shore just is completely and utterly horrendous. I shouldn't even speak about it in fear that the movie will gain some sort of power just through my insults.
Super 8 looks cool. Did anyone see the new trailer? I'm psyched. An original movie with J.J. Abrams directing? I'm sorry but that man has not failed in a movie yet...Star Trek and Cloverfield were both amazing. I can't wait to see this film.
Posted by: Littlejon2001 at March 30, 2011 1:36 AM
5. Twilight - Boring poster...
4. Thor - Even though I wanna see it - this is a BAD poster...
3. Judy Moddy - I have nightmares that look like that...
2. Tree of Life - it seems like one of those 1999 documentries about how far we've come...
1. Georgia Shore - I don' think I have to explain that one...
Posted by: Sarah J-Town at March 30, 2011 5:28 AM
For everyone trying to step to Terrance Malik - ya'll better line up so I can kick all your asses.
Posted by: Shane at March 30, 2011 9:14 AM
Tree of Life and Passion Play
Posted by: Mr. West at March 30, 2011 1:29 PM
Seriously, WHAT THE EFF is UP with the font for Breaking Dawn? It's like every movie the thing just gets weirder and weirder and more crackly. Godamn.
Posted by: LBeees at March 30, 2011 3:33 PM
1. "Judy Moody." Just looking at it hurts my eyes.
2. "Passion Play." Megan Fox appears to have top billing. Even the great Bill Murray wont be able to save this one.
3. "Tree of Life." Terrence Malik' name appears as the director. 'Nuff said.
4. "Georgia Shore." I don't do Madea films and the combo of that and "Jersey Shore"? Uh, no.
5. "Twilight: Breaking Dawn." I don't do those films either.
In all likelihood, I will end up only seeing "Thor" and "Super 8". I haven't seen any of the Pirate movies, other than the first one, and I thought it was mediocre at best. I have only seen the first two or three Harry Potter films. I will likely catch "The Hangover II" on Netflix.