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Where's Waldo?

Up My Butt / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | June 1, 2009 | Comments (29)

Hey! Guess what? Where’s Waldo is being made into a movie. Universal has purchased the rights. According to THR:

The studio has picked up the movie rights to the popular children’s books series from Classic Media with the aim of making a live-action family film to be produced by Chris Meledandri’s Illumination Entertainment.

Hey Hollywood. Fuck you! Not in the ear. Not in the eye. Not in the nose.

In the ass.

Please to Enjoy!


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Comments

Do we get to walk out of the theater once we've found him?

I want to know who thought THIS was a good idea!

Posted by: UncleJR at June 1, 2009 5:33 PM

now THIS is what the kids mean by "redonkulous".

Posted by: gp at June 1, 2009 5:35 PM

The only way this will be successful is if they stay true to the book. For once Hollywood, stay true to the source material.

Posted by: admin at June 1, 2009 5:40 PM

Oh my God. Here comes your horrible synopsis:

Some name-actor (say, Steve Martin, who doesn't give a fuck anymore about where his paychecks come from) plays the Caring Uncle to a lost nephew (played by Annoying Child Actor In Awkward Prepubescence) named Waldo. Waldo has run away from home due to his Unfair Step Parents trying to send him to boarding school.

The Name-Actor and Random Female Private Investigator then go on a hunt for the skillful Waldo. Kinda like Home Alone Goes Across The Nation, Waldo and Name Actor + Female have wacky adventures all over the nation's most well-known historical sites.

Watch them go avast on the Appalachian Trail, cornered in a Cubs game, play Catch The Stupid Ass Kid in a Kansas corn field, and run around the Redwoods in California.

Finally they surround the stupid kid in the Space Needle observatory and Name Actor + Female figure out they're Made For Each Other (tm) and decide to immediately adopt Waldo...so they never have to find him again!

I just vomited all over myself. This is awesome.

Posted by: misterorange at June 1, 2009 5:52 PM

Just wanted to put in a word for Mo Rocca for the part of Waldo.

Posted by: Nate at June 1, 2009 6:06 PM

I can't even make fun of this, it's already way to absurd. A fucking Waldo Movie.

Posted by: George at June 1, 2009 6:28 PM

Can't top misterorange. Won't even try. Especially with no swag on the line. Hey, bragging rights don't pay the fuckin' grocery bill.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 1, 2009 6:42 PM

Where's Waldo?

Up My Butt

I hate myself, but I spent a good five minutes laughing at this.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at June 1, 2009 6:42 PM

I can't wait for the Choose Your Own Adventure: The Movie! Or Hi-Ho Cherry-O: The Movie! Or Tampon Machine in the Public Restroom: The Movie! Yay Hollywood! THANK GOD THE WRITER'S STRIKE ENDED!

Now, where did I put that bottle of Xanax....

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at June 1, 2009 6:48 PM

Shifty movie concepts should be called getting "Waldo'ed"

Posted by: ted at June 1, 2009 7:06 PM

Shitty not shifty, ducking iPhone...

Posted by: Ted at June 1, 2009 7:08 PM

Cue marketing campaign filled with Waldo-esque striped umbrellas, blankets, and barbershop poles popping up everywhere just to fuck with you.

Posted by: Erin S at June 1, 2009 7:15 PM

You know, the best part about those books was totally all the random shit going on in the pictures. Waldo was pretty anti-climactic. I'm pretty sure there was one with some cavepeople having sex.

Or maybe I just wish that were true.

eff you, Hollywood.

Posted by: Bequafina at June 1, 2009 7:31 PM

For some reason, in Australia this whole franchise was called 'Where's Wally' and there was a cartoon TV show made, something like 15 years ago. So this does not surprise me. But live action? What is this obsession with turning cartoons into live action? And why won't it stop???

Posted by: rach at June 1, 2009 7:34 PM

'Where on earth is Carmen Sandiego?' would have a better chance than this, if only for the fact that she has a better hat!

Posted by: Four Eyes at June 1, 2009 8:13 PM

COUPON: The Movie: The Ride

Posted by: SaBrina at June 1, 2009 8:39 PM

Any reason they cast Mrs Doyle from Father Ted?

Posted by: RandyPanTheGoatboy at June 1, 2009 8:39 PM

Does this make more or less sense than a "Monopoly" movie?


I just don't know anymore.

Posted by: Melissa at June 1, 2009 9:38 PM

Posted by: Mr. Figgy at June 1, 2009 9:52 PM

I hope it's two hours of wide angle crowd scenes, in which after five minutes we zoom in, find the red capped bastard, and switch to the next locale.

The one with a million people dressed like Waldo should be the climax of the film.

Posted by: brian at June 1, 2009 10:00 PM

I present The Waldo Ultimatum:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kg4ztJ32iPI

Posted by: Mick J at June 2, 2009 12:47 AM

Really, Hollywood, REALLY?

COME ON!

Posted by: popejenn at June 2, 2009 1:15 AM

I get it! This is the fake announcement!

Right? This is it...Ha ha...ha?

If this isn't the fake news, then what the fuck was?

Posted by: alphawhiskey at June 2, 2009 2:20 AM

Why are people annoyed with hollywood and not with the author who sold the rights?
Do you feel that if an author is offered obscene amounts of money they should just take it and then distance themselves from the film? (Sort of what I think, why shouldn't the author make a fortune).
But what if there is no way a film can be any good. Is that the authors fault?

Posted by: ChrisD at June 2, 2009 6:14 AM

Didn't Leonardo DiCraprio and Tom Wanks already make this movie?

Posted by: BWeaves at June 2, 2009 8:55 AM

the waldo ultimatum rocked.

"he's at the north pole"
"that's a candy cane"
"GOD-DAMNIT"

Posted by: gp at June 2, 2009 9:40 AM

Rach, I grew up in Singapore and we had the Where's Wally books too! My mom used to get them for me when I was a kid. But in the Wally books, Waldo is Wally's brother, and in certain pictures, i remember you getting "bonus points" if you managed to find Waldo.

so imagine my surprise when i moved to the States and Waldo was the main person in the book, not Wally. Really had to readjust my thinking. not really.

Posted by: dene at June 2, 2009 12:11 PM

Can we all agree to beat the living hell out of any actor associated with this film?

Posted by: Amanda at June 2, 2009 12:17 PM

the presence of nic cage is strong in this one.

Posted by: jose smith at June 3, 2009 12:19 AM