Screen Shot 2015-02-02 at 10.40.03 AM.jpg

When Spongebob Parodies '50 Shades of Grey,' How Are We Supposed to Feel About Mr. Squarepants?

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | February 2, 2015 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | February 2, 2015 |

Screen Shot 2015-02-02 at 10.40.03 AM.jpg

This movie poster was released over the weekend for the Spongebob Squarepants movie, which comes out this weekend, one week ahead of 50 Shades of Grey.


What am I supposed to think about this? Is this poster trying to tell us something? Is Squarepants in a BDSM relationship with Ms. Poppy Puff?


Before I know it, he’s got both of my fins in his sponge-like grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his buckteeth … His other hand grabs my tiny blue hat and yanks it off, bringing my fish lips up, and his lipless gums are on my blower … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my scales. Holy cow! … He kneels up and pulls a dishwashing glove onto his considerable length. Oh no … Will it? How?”

“You’re so deliciously wet,” Spongebob says to me, and I say, “I know. I live in the ocean,” and he smiles wryly, “God, I want you … I’m going to fuck you now, Mrs. Puff … Hard … Come for me, Poppy.”

Spongebob places his hand on my naked behind, softly fondling my fins, stroking around and around with his balloon-shaped palm. And then his hand is no longer there … and he hits me—hard.”

Spongebob squirts fish oil into his hand and then rubs my dorsal fin with careful tenderness— soothing balm for a spanked ass, who would have thought it was such a versatile liquid?”

“Parents need to know that the cartoon SpongeBob SquarePants contains satirical humor that might confuse kids who can’t separate fantasy and reality.” — Common Sense Media

Get entertainment, celebrity and politics updates via Facebook or Twitter. Buy Pajiba merch at the Pajiba Store.

The Best GIFs From All of Last Night's Crazy Super Bowl Trailers | The 5 Best Netflix Releases of February 2015

Bigots, Trolls & MRAs Are Not Welcome in the Comments


The Pajiba Store

Privacy Policy