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What You Missed Last Night While You Were Staring into the Abyss of Michele Bachmann's Rage Eyes

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | August 16, 2011 | Comments ()


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Bradley Cooper, Mr. Emu himself, has done the responsible thing for perhaps the first time in his career and dropped out of The Crow, according to THR. The official reason was scheduling conflicts. The two other guys in contention, Whiny Hulk (Mark Wahlberg) and Charming Potato, really aren't that much of a step up. I say screw it.

According to Variety, Walton Goggins, he of "Justified" fame, and he who was the best part about Cowboys and Aliens (which isn't saying much), is set to join G.I. Joe: Retaliation, as Warden Nigel James in Jon Chu's sequel. For a movie that didn't really do all that well, G.I. Joe is certainly attracting some decent talent to its sequel, having also added Dwayne Johnson as Roadblock, Ray Stevenson as Firefly, RZA as Blind Master, Adrianne Palicki as Lady Jaye, and like Bruce Willis as General Joe Colton.

Here's your first look at Charlize Theron in Young Adult, which reunites Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody (Juno) for the first time since Cody won an Oscar. The flick is about YA novel author (Charlize Theron) who returns to her hometown to win back her now-married high school sweetheart (Patrick Wilson).

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There is all sorts of wrong with this next item: First of all, the idea that there is a direct-to-DVD prequel to Marley & Me is, well, expected. That's what milking the cash cow until it bleeds kidney juice is all about. The film will follow Marley's puppy years, although I thought that those were fairly well covered in the original film. No? Anyway, not only that, but now Marley can talk. But here's the best part, via Movieline: The script comes from Michael Damian. Did that name register as one that you know but can't quite place? Maybe this will help:

So, that song is stuck in your head all day. You're quite welcome. Now, here's the trailer for Marley & Me: The Puppy Years.

Finally, back in November, Satan's Vagina heard that Brad Pitt might be interested in making Gray Man, then in January noted that James Gray had come aboard to direct. Now, Variety is reporting that to be true: Brad Pitt is indeed in negotiations to star in the assassin thriller adapted by Adam Cozad from Mark Greaney's 2009 novel. Pitt would star as Court Gentry, an ex-CIA operative known for his lethal skill who goes on the run after his last job goes wrong, with action taking place across the globe.

The point being? The trades spent a lot of time tracking down this information, and we owe it to them to run it, even though until there's a set photo or a trailer, I can hardly muster the interest. But hey! Brad Pitt! Potential franchise! Good for him. That guy needs a break-out role.


Here is IT with Bachmann eyes.

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Here's more Bachmann eyes, if you want the willies.



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