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What The F*ck, Rachel?

By TK Burton | Industry | August 19, 2010 |

By TK Burton | Industry | August 19, 2010 |


Oh, Rachel McAdams. You're so goddamn pretty, and despite being Canadian, you seem like a very nice person. You've been in some exceptional movies -- Sherlock Holmes, The Time Traveler's Wife, The Wedding Crashers -- so much so that I can even forgive you for The Notebook. You're clearly a talented actress, and men would fight wars because of those dimples.

So it is with the utmost love and affection that I must ask you: what in the shit-chomping monkey fuck are you doing in a movie like The Vow?

Synopsis:

newlywed New Mexico couple (Rachel McAdams, Channing Tatum) who get in a car crash. The wife is in a coma, where her husband takes care of her.

When she awakes with no memory of her husband and he attempts to win her heart again. Speedman will play McAdams' former fiancé with whom the amnesiac McAdams starts to find romance.

It has the putrid stench of The Notebook 2.0 smeared all over it. What's worse, her suitors are played by Scott Speedman (in talks), of Underworld and xXx: State Of The Union infamy, and Channing Tatum (Supercross, Step Up), two actors so wooden that redwoods look at them and go, "damn, that's some fuckin' wood right there."

And anyone who brings up Speedman in "Felicity" gets a bowling ball in the face.

(source: Dark Horizons)



TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.


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