Pajiba

I know quite a few people who would be very angry at your dismissal of polyamorous and nonmonogamous relationships. Yes, they're difficult relationships to maintain, but any relationship is difficult. Not everyone is capable of nonmonogamy, but many people are-- and those people can find some of the most honest, loving, trusting relationships I've ever seen.

People are all over the spectrum on pretty much every issue you can think of. This is one of them.

Bring in a legitimate third party, and well, you get George W. Bush as president.

Listen, I get it. I'm still bitter about W. I'll probably be pissed about it for the rest of my life. But blame Nader? That's just bullshit. Look to the Supreme Court if you want to assign blame.

Yeah, I kind of feel like proposing something like this in a relationship would go one of two ways:
One, you already have your freebie in mind, there's someone you've been eyeing for a while and thinking, "hmmm, if I wasn't already married..." Which to me, already speaks volumes about your relationship.
Two, you don't have anyone in mind and you're supposed to go out and find an easy lay in one night...which is both a lot of pressure and also kind of gross. That doesn't strike me as enjoyable at all.

Godtopus bless you spambot.

I'm really having a lot of difficulty dealing with the fact that Dax Shepard appears to have put in a hell of a performance. I mean, have you seen Let's Go to Jail? Fuck me with a splintery broom handle I thought his career was done.

Is it mildly ironic that many of the people who are quick to accuse their other half of infidelity do so because they themselves are unfaithful? It would seem they want the benefit of a freebie as a participant but don't want the burden of observing their partner doing so on them. The ultimate having your cake and eating it too.

The reality is that there really is no such thing as a freebie. It will always cost you. At best you'll always have a unspoken level of mistrust and and at worst toll the death knell of the relationship. I've actually known a couple involved in "open" relationships. It was utterly pointless. It was like a step below Friends with Benefits. Everything looked fine until there was a pregnancy scare and then the shit came out about how he really felt about her nailing someone else despite the fact his dance card was much longer than hers. I guess even in the cheating department quality still trumps quantity.

So guys, if you're being offered an opportunity of having a freebie, yes, this is a trap. Red flags, air raid sirens, and panicking Robots from "Lost in Space" should be apparent. You're either having your loyalty tested or you're being offered an easy out (on whose part remains up for debate). If your relationship has gone stale, screwing someone new will not likely fix things. Either find out what it is that's missing and try to discover it in your current relationship or break it off or move on.

Or better still let everyone else know what going on so we can all watch the the inevitable train wreck because some of us are ghouls in that way.

So...like...like threesomes?

Wanted to post a defense of Dax Shepard, because while it's totally understandable why so many people are hesitant to acknowledge him as a legit actor, he really is great. I really only knew him from a couple of episodes of Punk'd, and then heard he'd be one of the stars of Parenthood. I was pretty bummed, wondering why he was in a show with so many great actors (Peter Krause, Lauren Graham, etc). Having now watched the entire first season of the show (which is FABULOUS, btw), I am a convert. He's great - handles subtle comedy really well, does wonderful emotional scenes, he runs the gamut. I knew there had to be a reason Kristen Bell was engaged to him - there had to be more to him than the guy who starred in Without a Paddle (never seen it, but didn't look good). Seriously you guys, he's good. Promise.

Oh Spambot, the one post you could have made a relevant comment on and you had to go and make it about race. For shame.

BWeaves,

It is common knowledge that men generally cheat "down," meaning the ladies they cheat with are inferior to their partners, especially in the looks department.

Women can cheat whenever they feel like it because most single guys are patiently waiting in the wings for your girlfriend/wife to offer them sex.

Seriously, go ask a single guy if they want to have sex. You'll have penis in you quicker than you can say, "Not really, I was just testing you."

Kballs, that's what I don't get about the whole non-monogamous thing. The playing field just isn't level.

BWeaves - I think it's fair to say the Tiger Woods "freebies" have proven very expensive indeed.

This movie looks dreadful and as far from real life as one could imagine. And come on, let's be honest, women who brag about being in non-monogamous relationships are, for the most part, hounds.

@Snuggiepants, I was in a 4-year relationship during which I never even thought to stray. I understand what you're saying, kind of. But even though I was happily monogamous in that relationship, I certainly still NOTICED people. I just knew that I valued my relationship more than I did any cheap flings I might have.

It's one thing to say you're never tempted. It's quite another to say you don't know any women/men, and that was the original statement I was responding to.

FREE LOVE!

Why does the expression "There's no such thing as a free lunch" keep popping into my mind?

BWeaves,

You and I should hook up. Just once.

Hey ScienceGeek! Yeah, you're right, it often does take some time for two people to really get to know how to get each other off. But the charged atmosphere (I like to call it "the dirty dirty wrong wrong") of illicit sex can sometimes make the experienence super hot.

Also, for cheaters, it's not about the quality of the sex, it's about the thrill of the whole thing. Just like shoplifters don't always steal exciting stuff, cheaters aren't going for mind-blowing sex. They're after the dirty/wrong/forbidden.

Mazel tov on the whole "just married" thing.