Wernor Herzog Film School

Werner Herzog Opens A Film School

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (15)

Werner Herzog, the legendary director so tough that he once was shot during an interview … and finished the interview … has decided to spread around his insanity like luscious strawberry jam on the film industry’s moldy rye by starting his own film school. Unlike traditional film schools, The Rogue Film School will not involve “film” or occur in a “school.” That is because it is totally “rogue.” For just $1450 (and a $25 application fee), you too can learn to be the ultimate bad ass director like Herzog, in the airport Hilton (rooms not included).

Here’s what the school’s website describes as its mission (if you read it out loud in Dr. Evil’s voice, Mike Meyer’s corpse spontaneously achieves erection):

The Rogue Film School is not for the faint-hearted; it is for those who have traveled on foot, who have worked as bouncers in sex clubs or as wardens in a lunatic asylum, for those who are willing to learn about lock-picking or forging shooting permits in countries not favoring their projects. In short: it is for those who have a sense for poetry. For those who are pilgrims. For those who can tell a story to four-year-old children and hold their attention. For those who have a fire burning within. For those who have a dream.

In other words, if you are the type of person who would pay $1450 for a three day seminar in a hotel, you are not the type of person who belongs at Rogue Film School. What do you say Dustin? Should we jack up the number of ads to pay for a spot, or should we infiltrate like ninjas? Rogue ninjas.

Follow @pajiba

← The House at Sugar Beach by Helene Cooper | Highlander Remake News →

Comments

OH OH OH OH!!!

I wanna open a non-traditional film school too!!!

gonna call it The Scalawag Film Institute of Cinema

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 23, 2009 9:21 AM

I bet it's going to be something like this:

"Here's a camera. Find a lady's bathroom somewhere in town and film as much as you can. Report back here with footage. I will retire to my hotel room to decide who's film is the best. Winner gets a punch in the face from me and some random junk I just found in the gutters outside. Now disperse!"

Best film school ever.

Posted by: Kurdt at September 23, 2009 9:51 AM

Wait, there's no van down by the river? That means there's no candy. I think it would be far more authentic if students were abducted in said van then drivin to the seminar as opposed to walking into well lit hotel convention room. While the rogue ninja aspect of your proposal does pique my interest I'd rather be a Ronin. Then I could just cut-slide people with inpunity and avoid all the sneaking around.

Posted by: admin at September 23, 2009 9:53 AM

Awesome subhead, Steven. Kinski would have NAILED Matt Foley!

Posted by: sansho1 at September 23, 2009 10:06 AM

Can I pay the 1450 fee in stolen copper wire and unprocessed poppy seed dust? Because really that and high grade C4 are all I've got hanging around the ol' lair. Really, though telling a story to 4 year olds? That's the baseline? Are all the movies going to involve stuffed animals and candy?

Posted by: mrcreosote at September 23, 2009 10:15 AM

For a second there, I thought it was copy for an advertisement to The Most Interesting Man in the World. "I don't always make films. But, when I do, I make great ones. Stay crazy, my friends."

Posted by: gunnertec at September 23, 2009 10:32 AM

Any other Best Show on WFMU fans out there who really want to see Associate Producer Mike get sent to this?

Posted by: Leff at September 23, 2009 10:45 AM

...or should we infiltrate like ninjas? Rogue ninjas.

By now I suspect Herzog has already hunted you down and killed you (with his bare hands, natch) for even suggesting this....

Posted by: sansho1 at September 23, 2009 11:01 AM

Damn. I need to steal a camera and sneak in.

Posted by: Cindy at September 23, 2009 11:03 AM

Cindy, you have also now been killed by Herzog. Please, everyone, just stop!! Herzog requires payment in full, can't you understand that?!?!

Posted by: sansho1 at September 23, 2009 11:08 AM

Damn, I'm really going to miss Steven and Cindy.

Posted by: tamatha at September 23, 2009 11:21 AM

I was just killed by Mr. Herzog, it was AWESOME. I can still feel his hands wrapped around my throat.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 23, 2009 11:48 AM

Damn it, he just called me up and berated me. I need to work harder.

Posted by: mrcreosote at September 23, 2009 11:49 AM

I'm going in people! Remember, I have military training.

Posted by: Cindy at September 23, 2009 1:17 PM

Remember: short, controlled bursts.

Posted by: replica at September 23, 2009 4:03 PM

Pajiba

Pajiba: Reviews, Commentary, Angst

Werner Herzog Opens A Film School

Comments