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Weekend at Pajibas!

The Daily Trade Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | March 6, 2007 | Comments (32)


Don’t ask me why I remember this — besides having spent what must have been a solid year in law school, hungover, watching “Friends” reruns — but a remake of Rachel Green’s favorite film is in development. And no, it’s not Dangerous Liaisons; it’s Weekend at Bernie’s (please tell me someone caught the reference — Chanandler Bong! Oh never mind, I’m embarrassing myself).

Anyway, the film that has probably spawned twice as many bad jokes as box-office dollars since the original was released in 1989 is reportedly being produced by MGM, which has brought aboard Jon Jashni (Poseidon) and Ashok Amritraj (Battlefield Earth) to develop the project, the script of which will … well, what the hell else could it do? It’ll be about a dead guy and two dumbasses who try to pretend that Bernie Lomax is alive so that they can get laid and/or avoid losing a job. However, the twist in the remake is that it will take place at a ski lodge. Envision it now, folks: A dead guy on skis! Dropping the dead guy off a ski lift! Skiing between the dead guy’s legs! Cannibalizing the dead guy after getting stranded on top of a mountain for days! That’s comedy gold, folks. Comedy gold. And, for the hell of it, here’s my own casting speculation: Dane Cook as Richard, Jon Heder as Larry, and Rowan Atkinson as Bernie. It won’t be any damn good, but hopefully it would do the same for Cook and Heder’s careers as it did Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman’s. And let’s go ahead and hire Haggis to write the script — it’s actually congruent with his writing abilities.

In casting news, Daniel Radcliff has been signed on to finish out the Harry Potter run. I don’t have anything else to say about that except that it’s kind of creepy how a lot of the older ladies (and certain gay men I know) sexualize the guy. That’s just weird, man. Weird.

Elsewhere: You know, it’s funny, for what now — three or four years? — no one has really paid that much attention to the Valerie Plame scandal, such as it is. It’s one of those headline stories, i.e., we skim the headlines to keep up with the gist of the events, rarely skimming past the lead paragraph. It would’ve been a better story, at least for liberals, if it hadn’t turned out that Joseph Wilson was such an insufferable prick. And aside from the Libby criminal trial, the whole debacle is still unresolved, what with Plame and Wilson filing civil suits against pretty much anyone who ever warmed a chair in the Vice President’s office. I’m not suggesting that the lawsuits aren’t merited, or even that leaking the name of a CIA agent wasn’t a dick move, I’m just asking, really, how much cinematic drama can you extract from the account? A bunch of phone calls, Robert Novak douching it up, and Tim Russert offering up some defensive testimony. All the President’s Men it ain’t, but that hasn’t stopped Warner Brothers from buying the rights to Wilson and Plame’s life, to be adapted into a film developed by Akiva Goldsmith and Jerry Zucker (which is one hell of an odd combination — the writer of A Beautiful Mind and the guy behind the Naked Gun series?). The script will be written by John and Jez Butterworth (the latter of whom wrote and directed Nicole Kidman’s Birthday Girl) and will be based, in part, on Valerie Plame’s memoir, assuming that the CIA allows her to publish it. In fact, the only bit of intrigue to the entire project is whether or not they make the obvious choice and cast Brian Cox as Novak and a huge, self-righteous inflatable penis to play Joseph Wilson.

As for the slate of DVD releases this week, anyone who didn’t manage to catch Borat at the multiplex can now see it in the comforts of his or her own home, where the more prurient can treat the wrestling scene between Sacha Baron Cohen and Ken Davitian as porn and act accordingly with complete privacy. For those who have already seen it, I must warn you: It doesn’t hold up particularly well with multiple viewings. Otherwise, anyone with an itch to endure 90 minutes of prison-rape jokes can’t do much better than the embarrassment that is Let’s Go to Prison. Also making themselves available to your Netflix queues: the mediocre wedding mockumentary starring with Martin Freeman, Confetti, and Richard Linklater’s Fast Food Nation.

Finally, in today’s trailer watch: I don’t know if it’s my fondness for Isla Fisher (even if she’s barely distinguishable from Amy Adams), or if it’s because I was so smitten with Brick that I’m willing to give Joseph Gordon-Levitt the benefit of the doubt, but I actually think that The Lookout looks like a surprisingly decent heist flick. Am I completely wrong?

Dustin Rowles is the publisher of Pajiba. He lives with his wife in Ithaca, New York. You may email him, or leave a comment below.









Black Snake Moan | Pajiba Love 03/06/07













Comments

Actually it's Ms. Chanandler Bong. I am as ashamed as you are...

Posted by: A guy at March 6, 2007 10:16 AM

I think the real question is, what is Chandler's job?

Posted by: em at March 6, 2007 10:19 AM

The Lookout may have some potential despite the Memento rip-offs (no memory, write everything down, work backwards). I'll give it a shot also because it comes from the writers of Out of Sight (loved it) and Get Shorty (fair to sunny).

Also re: Gordon-Levitt: This plus Brick plus Mysterious Skin adds up to a pretty impressive resume over the last few years. He might escape being "that kid from 3rd Rock" yet.

Posted by: Matty at March 6, 2007 10:46 AM

Akiva Goldsman's not just the screenwriter of A Beautiful Mind. He also penned the Da Vinci Code, I, Robot, Lost in Space, and Batman & Robin (worst movie ever). Beautiful Mind may have been a fluke.

Posted by: Tony at March 6, 2007 10:51 AM

em...

transpondster!

Posted by: MDA at March 6, 2007 11:02 AM

in the case of a tie.....LIGHTNING ROUND!!!!

Posted by: fellow "friend" at March 6, 2007 11:07 AM

Oh my god.
That's it. The Hollywood F-ing HACK Remake Machine has finished the job of turning me into a homicidal vigilante.
It is damn lucky for those wankers that I no longer live there.

Posted by: Loob at March 6, 2007 11:19 AM

I majored in Lightning Rounds.

Oh, and in being hungover and watching Friends all day. Not just for law school, Dustin...

Posted by: EJ at March 6, 2007 11:24 AM

MDA--"THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD!!!!!"

OK, seriously? Y'all made my day. Yet again. :) And I'm not even a huge Friends fan. Just, you know, had a lot of down time between classes.

Posted by: em at March 6, 2007 11:30 AM

The Plame Affair disappeared without a trace when it was revealed that Richard Armitage and not someone from Dick Cheney's office had leaked the name of Wilson's wife. The Dems were all over it when they thought it could bring down the president, but have no use for it now that it implicates one of their allies against the war in Iraq. It's the same reason Sandy Berger is not in a federal prison.

Posted by: Curious George at March 6, 2007 12:29 PM

Did anyone else get nightmares from Weekend at Bernie's 2? I was around 13 (which I realize is old for zombie induced nightmares) when it came out and I couldn't watch it again until I was 24.
The way that dead man schlepped around, all dragging his feet and slumping his shoulders...terrifying.

Posted by: missmle at March 6, 2007 1:05 PM

am nursing a crush for JGL from Brick and I'm old enough to be that boy's... older sister.

I think I may have to check out The lookout.

I can't believe they're remaking Weekend at Bernie's. that makes me want to kill something.

Posted by: blue at March 6, 2007 1:08 PM

Don't be ashamed guys, that particular episode occurred during the early days when Friends was still funny and Jennifer hadn't yet married Brad and turned into nothing but chin and spinal column.

Posted by: MG at March 6, 2007 1:08 PM

I wanna see The Lookout because of Brick as well.

Posted by: Justin at March 6, 2007 1:37 PM

MG - Hahahahaha, a chin and a spinal column. Too true, too true.

Libby is a scapegoat, plain and simple. They'll never charge the real culprits. So, another miscarriage of justice gets shoved down the American peoples' collective throat. Suprised? I should think not. Par for the course my friends, par for the course.

Posted by: Smokin at March 6, 2007 1:47 PM

"Dane Cook as Richard, Jon Heder as Larry, and Rowan Atkinson as Bernie."

The really upsetting bit is that odds are not so long that Dustin hasn't called this one fast and square.

Posted by: ranylt at March 6, 2007 2:04 PM

"I don't have anything else to say about that except that it's kind of creepy how a lot of the older ladies (and certain gay men I know) sexualize the guy. That's just weird, man. Weird."

Creepy? Weird? Hmmm. In the defense of "older ladies" and "certain gay men", I can't imagine it's any creepier than straight men that have sexualized an underage Britney (or any other pop tart that's ever released a record before her 17th birthday), Alyssa Milano and her tween tv competition, young movie actresses ranging from Brooke Shields to Natalie Portman and just about every Catholic school girl who's ever walked to school in her knee highs and plaid skirt.

I think your creep factor really ought to extend a bit further than the limited "older ladies" and "certain gay men". For my money, we ain't got nothin' on most of the straight men I know.

Posted by: Tallsonofagun at March 6, 2007 3:17 PM

Re: Daniel Radcliffe. Those publicity photos of him for Equus are, I'm going to admit it, smokin' hot. I can admit those who start thinking he was hot when he was, like, 12, were creepy. The bathtub scene in the last HP movie creeped me out a lot. (It's worse when you know the Moaning Myrtle actress is in her 30s.) But damn, that boy is just hot now.

Posted by: Sarah at March 6, 2007 3:33 PM

PS. I'll be 20 on Friday, so I don't think I qualify as an older lady yet.

Posted by: Sarah at March 6, 2007 3:34 PM

I just need to say that I hated Brick. The plot itself was good, but I found Joseph Gordon-Levitt's acting, as well as his character's dialogue, to be ridiculous. He mumbled through most of the film and barely changed facial expressions. It was silly in so many ways I don't have the patience to list.

Posted by: Jen at March 6, 2007 4:09 PM

Can't we just rent Weekend At Bernie's for 99c? Oh, wait- we'd rather pay $9.50 at the cinema.

As for Daniel Radcliff... I'm probably closer to his age than most people posting here, but apparently those who are attracted to him simply failed to notice that ALAN RICKMAN is in the Harry Potter movies.
Am I right, Ladies and Gay Guys!?

Posted by: samantha c. at March 6, 2007 4:45 PM

I totally disagree. I thought that Joseph Gordon-Levitt was the only good thing about brick. well, maybe not the only good thing. i liked what they were going for, but it didn't work for. he was also great in mysterious skin, which also didn't work for me. so i'd like to see him do something good.

Posted by: jackie at March 6, 2007 5:52 PM

Isn't it Radcliffe?

And hell yes with the Alan Rickman. He can be my voice of God anytime.

Posted by: Mara at March 6, 2007 6:23 PM

I have a huge crush on Alan Rickman, but was deeply disturbed the other day when I saw a semi-nude picture of that little Harry Potter kid. I didn't realize who it was at first and when I did I felt really bad about myself.

Posted by: ecp at March 6, 2007 7:21 PM

You only spent a collective year of law school hungover? That's the real shame. Maybe it's the number of bars in Boston ...

Posted by: Katiekate at March 6, 2007 8:35 PM

I think he's in accounting... *grin*

Where are you going to find a self-righteous inflateable penis... with low enough self esteem to play Wilson.

Posted by: Graceful Dave at March 6, 2007 9:28 PM

finally! i was afraid that i was the only one that thought isla fisher was amy adams' doppelganger.

Posted by: cris at March 6, 2007 10:04 PM

Tallsonofagun... THANK YOU! I was totally going to say that I don't get why it's creepy that grown women (and men) are fantasizing about Radcliffe when he was less than 18 when teenage girls are subject to the same treatment everyday. More so if they're in Hollywood. I know my mom threatened to have my birthdate tattooed on my forehead when grown men tried to pick me up when I was 13.

You know, at least when they remake shitty movies, I already know they're shitty and don't have to waste my money finding out. Gotta look on the bright side, otherwise I'd go insane at the lack of enthusiasm for actual intelligence and creativity in the movie business these days.

Posted by: Genny at March 7, 2007 2:25 AM

Joe Wilson is an insufferable prick? Um, why again? Was it when he went up againt the entire Bush crime family who tried to destroy him and his wife because he wouldn't play their game and help falsify evidence to go to war? Because, looking back, i kinda think there might be bigger pricks out there than Joe Wilson... Stick with movies, smartguy... Either that or actually keep up with the news. (no... FOX doesn't count).

Posted by: sly at March 7, 2007 1:40 PM

Daniel's pictures are quite nice (he has been working out) but Alan Rickman is the best part of Harry Potter. Once I explained to my boyfriend why he should dress up as Snape and talk in a British accent, he appreciates him as well.

Posted by: Daisy at March 7, 2007 5:02 PM

The real question is, What is Joey's Favourite Food?

Answer: Sandwiches

Fine. The rest of the article was blurred by me going down memory lane to the best episode of Friends ever. Can I be Queen of the Losers?

Posted by: Nat Handley-M at March 8, 2007 1:00 AM

"Stick with movies, smartguy... Either that or actually keep up with the news. (no... FOX doesn't count).
Posted by: sly at March 7, 2007 1:40 PM"

Riiiight. Fox doesn't count because it's not towing your party's line. Considering that you're only parroting back the same idiocy which other media sources have made up...

Posted by: Ari at March 10, 2007 11:27 PM


















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