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We Are America and We Will Remake Every Show You Brits Ever Had

By Cindy Davis | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (20)



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We’re in Ur TVz stealin’ all Ur showz.

Seriously, we Americans are simply unable to come up with really good show ideas on our own, so we’re just going to keep remaking the British stuff. We’ve got to dumb it down a bit but you don’t mind, do you? Good.

Now even though A&E has already acquired and aired the original series Spooks (re-dubbed MI-5 because that sounds cooler and we don’t want people to think it’s a kid show), that’s not good enough. We have to twist up your show and squeeze out all the good bits so we can serve the milquetoast leftovers to the Walmart crowd. And they don’t like those fancy foreign accents (need subtitles) or stuff without ACTION! so don’t get your hopes up for any sign of The Grid or intelligence. We’re going to pump out that shit. Heck, let’s just call this what it will be: 24-lite. I don’t know why ABC even bothers, since these remakes usually last a season and then crash and burn anyway.

Michael Seitzman (North Country) is set to write and executive produce. Yeah, I’ve never heard of him either, but he’s sure to do a bang up job. Cheerios!









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Comments

So is this going to be about the CIA? Or are they going to actually remake MI-5 (the British show about British secret agents) but use American actors in England?

Cause that'd be the most idiotic thing ever conceived. Yes, even dumber than Cavemen: The Series.

Posted by: Fredo at August 13, 2010 1:41 PM

It's uncertain at this point whether the actors will be American or British, so I can't really answer that Fredo.

Posted by: Cindy at August 13, 2010 1:43 PM

Spooks (re-dubbed MI-5 because that sounds cooler and we don’t want people to think it’s a kid show)

I thought it was renamed because "spooks" has a less than savory connotation in some parts of the good ol'US of A.

Posted by: MM at August 13, 2010 1:44 PM

Thanks Cindy.

But it will still take place in England? Or is it coming to America?

Posted by: Fredo at August 13, 2010 1:49 PM

"Spooks/MI-5" is an awesome show, I would recommend Netflixing it, since it's not on PBS anymore. I believe the reason for the name change is due to an old racial epithet, not confusion with ghosts. Silly I know, but still, probably wise.

It's funny though, I recently watched the DVD's of the first season. In the DVD extras, the creators of the show went on and on about how they set out to create a slick American-style action series. So ABC is emulating a show that was created to emulate "24".
That said, this is an extremely smart, gutsy, and exciting show with interesting and fun characters. You never know episode to episode who is about to get maimed, offed, or switch sides. Great show...just stick with the original. There is no way ABC can make it better.

Posted by: dagnabbit at August 13, 2010 1:54 PM

Fredo, there aren't any details yet. This is kind of like the story about the U.S. remake of Underbelly; we don't know how exactly it will adhere to the original.

Posted by: Cindy at August 13, 2010 1:59 PM

I thought it was renamed because "spooks" has a less than savory connotation in some parts of the good ol'US of A.

I'd imagination that's the reason, if there is one, and that makes me sad, cause I thought it was such a neat word for "spy" when I started reading Tom Clancy in middle school. Damn racists, fuckin up cool slang!

Posted by: Jay at August 13, 2010 2:00 PM

In case any of you dont know my feelings on remakes, here's a hint; they are fucking strong.

What drives me the most fucking outstandingly insane about the US remakes of basically everything EVVAR is that one, remaking English shows is RETARDED because WE SPEAK THE SAME FUCKING LANGUAGE.

I mean I find the American Film/TV producer belief that the average 'murican cant READ SUBTITLES to be fucking reprehensible but good LORD, remaking ENGLISH SPEAKING SHOWS?

I was called a douche on my own blog the other day for being incredibly angry about the Torchwood remake despite the fact the Torchwood remake is almost definately going to be shit..

What really gets me, reaaaaaaaaaally gets under my skin is the fact the producers just wander around bumping into things then drool 'derrrrrrr this show we imported from that tharr ingerlunddd is shooooor poplar! duuurrrrr lets remake it ! Peeepul like der ingerland one and peepul like Murica so if we remake a inngerlund wiv a murica peepul will looove eeeet' and then they play with their own fucking shit and do more cocaine.

They miss ENTIRELY that popular shows aren't just popular because of pretty, shiny cast members and action and intrigue and emotion...the GEOGRAPHY of a show can be as vital to its success as anything!

Life on Mars was a massive hit because Manchester was practically a character in and of its self, it was Sam's memories of it growing up that fuelled half the plots! One of my favourite episodes was when there was a murder in a mill which in Sam's present is his swanky flat.
I never even watched the remake but from what I understand they missed the point of WHERE it takes place entirely aside from the obvious and borderling insulting Twin Towers thing.

Spooks as it SHOULD RIGHTFULLY STILL BE CALLED BECAUSE ISN'T SPOOKS A UNIVERSAL TERM FOR SHADY SECRET AGENT TYPES?!?!?! Is so brilliant because it follows agents trying to prevent terrorist attacks in London.
A few points on that; 1) a show like this in the states would be fear mongering and cruel.
2) London, like manchester in LoM, is a character in the show, the skyline and unique buildings, the river, the smaller grubby markets, all of it.
3) The reason the show WORKED in the wake of 7/7 was that for some reason people didn't expect London to be a target. This show proves it is.

In the US, EVERY CITY expects to be a target which is horrible but is why the show would just be mean, fear mongering cruelty.

Just...gah! And what annoys me the most is that the remakes SO RARELY do well, and the people who watch the original and loved it are usually the most vocal complainers and THEY STILL MAKE THE DAMN REMAKES LIKE WTF?!!?!/!

With a few exceptions, these things always suck and always bomb and just GAH.


Next thing they'll be remaking Robin Hood and fucking MERLIN

Posted by: Nadine at August 13, 2010 2:16 PM

I just ask that America leaves Gavin & Stacey alone. I know they won't, and instead they'll do a shit job of a remake and it breaks my heart because that show is already perfect.

Posted by: Tara at August 13, 2010 2:19 PM

" . . .remaking English shows is RETARDED because WE SPEAK THE SAME FUCKING LANGUAGE."

Sorry, but we don't, and I'm not even talking about accents. I was born in America, grew up in England and I'm back in America again. I had a hell of a time in school, on both sides of the ocean due to misunderstandings of spelling and idioms.

In England, if I wanted to go to the loo, I'd raise my hand and say, "Please marm, may I be excused."

In America, I did this, and the teacher said, "Why do you want to be excused?" Well, because I have to be excused. "But why?" I nearly peed my pants not understanding that she didn't understand what I meant.

Then there was the time in England when my PE teacher told me I had to get a pair of pumps (gym shoes) for PE class, and my mother thought I needed pumps (high heels) and called the head mistress to complain.

And then there was the time in England when my music teacher told me that I had to get a recorder (a type of flute) and my mother bought me a reel to reel tape recorder (cool, but wrong).

Posted by: BWeaves at August 13, 2010 2:32 PM

That said, I still hate it when Americans remake British shows. I'd rather watch the British shows with subtitles, so I understand everything that is said (and I've lived both places, ugh).

Posted by: BWeaves at August 13, 2010 2:35 PM

Bweaves we do and you know it!
We just change words to make kids like you piss yourselves.

Posted by: Nadine at August 13, 2010 3:05 PM

RE "Spooks/MI-5" is an awesome show, I would recommend Netflixing it, since it's not on PBS anymore.

It is in my area (DFW).

I don't know how recent the show I watched last night is, but the series airs pretty regularly on Thursday night. "Pretty regularly" means when they're not begging for money and in return preempting all the regular programming so the Baby Boomers can watch all the lame shit they apparently like; seriously, the average age of a viewer during these all-too-frequent intervals must be at least 60.

Posted by: Slash at August 13, 2010 3:37 PM

"Then there was the time in England when my PE teacher told me I had to get a pair of pumps (gym shoes) for PE class, and my mother thought I needed pumps (high heels) and called the head mistress to complain."

I believe they call them "trainers" now (sneakers). I can just imagine my mother calling up the headmistress and giving her hell for me needing a personal trainer for gym class.

Posted by: BWeaves at August 13, 2010 4:07 PM

Bweaves we could talk all night about the words we use just to fuck with Americans, hee!

Posted by: Nadine at August 13, 2010 4:18 PM

MOTHERFUCKERS!

Posted by: Scully at August 14, 2010 8:31 AM

One of my favorite commercials on BBCA is the one that says "The following shows contains accents that we would all use if you hadn't thrown our tea in the harbour".

Also, my wife uses the closed caption when we watch BBCA (or when she's watching a Brit program on PBS) because she likes to make sure she gets it right. Personally I appreciate the accents and have no problem w/ them.

As for the "Gavin and Stacy" rip-off, I believe I saw an ad for a new show that looked suspiciously like it may have been "influenced" by it. At least Gavin and Stacy was what first came to mind when I saw it. Can't remember the show (not that I plan on watching anyway).

Posted by: Uncle JR at August 14, 2010 1:57 PM

1. MI5/Spooks is still on PBS in the Washington, DC area, but only 4 or 5 of the 8 series have been broadcast in the US.

2. Hugh Laurie is stunningly good in his occasional appearances as an uber-Spook.

3. Re: language and authenticity. The woman playing the duplicitous CIA agent has trouble maintaining a consistent U.S. accent. She also, at one point, says her favorite American President was "Franklin". (My favorite British PM was Charles Dickens.)

4. Look, I love the series, but I've often wondered if I'd watch it if it were an American production instead of British, and I decided I probably would not.

Posted by: bcarter3 at August 14, 2010 2:02 PM

Britain will be assimilated!
Resistance is futile!

Posted by: lol at August 14, 2010 2:18 PM

Well, we're even remaking "Top Gear" with American actors. So we've clearly no shame.

As for "Spooks", I thought that was changed because it might have created confusion on whether it was a spy show or a horror show (as in "spooky"). Calling it MI-5 left no doubt.

Posted by: Fredo at August 14, 2010 2:22 PM