Oh, fuck it: I made a first pass at this round up in a tone meant to exude a certain amount of give-a-shit, but the truth is, I’m tired. Thanks to “Life” (which keeps getting in my goddamn way) I’m way behind on Harry Potter; I’m cranky as fuck; and I just want to get through this round-up so I can get back to what matters: Finding out how Deathly Hallows ends. And for those of you itching to talk about the book with fellow Pajibans, the review should be along very soon.
Until then, you’re going to have to put up with this half-assed round up, starting with this: There will be an adaptation of The Green Hornet. And the truth is, I hate comic-book adaptations (the occasional Batman or Spiderman flick notwithstanding), but if I were in any sort of mood to give a damn about the future of Hollywood right now, I’d tell you I was excited about this project. Not because I care about the comic-book superhero (and yes! I know it started out as a radio program; screw off, you don’t think we get Wikipedia in upstate NY?) but because for the first time ever in a movie not called Mystery Men, a comic-book hero might be played by someone with an actual sense of humor. Indeed, the hairy-ass wonder of the Apatow World, Seth Rogen, is set to write and star in The Green Hornet, about Britt Reid, a newspaper publisher by day and masked crime-fighting vigilante by night. I’m not sure how Green Hornet purists feel about having a comedic actor take on this role, but since there are only four of you, I don’t give a shit. I’m pretty thrilled to see a schlub put on a costume and kick some ass, if you wanna know the truth. And guess who Rogen wants to play his sidekick, Kato? Stephen Chow, y’all. The director/star of the rocking Kung Fu Hustle. That’s one of the ugliest pairings I can possibly imagine, and yet I find the whole thing strangely intriguing. I mean, I would, were it not for the fact that continuing not to give a shit is the theme of this round up.
Moving along, but sticking with comic-book crap, a director has now been attached to the long-gestating Wolverine spin-off, starring Hugh Jackman. Gavin Hood will take the helm. And if you haven’t heard of Hood, well, that doesn’t actually make you an idiot or anything. He directed a movie called Tsotsi, which garnered him as Oscar for Best Foreign Language Directing. It’s a damn fine flick, but if I hadn’t reviewed it, I’d have never heard of Hood, either. Of course, Wolverine is still a comic-book character, and since I don’t give a shit about them, I can’t muster any enthusiasm for this project, the script of which was written by David Benioff (25th Hour, Troy). I understand that Mr. Jackman tingles many of your nether regions, but claws or not, he doesn’t do much for me; he’s got the all the debonairness of an ’80s television detective.
Finally, because I’m feeling awfully masochistic this morning, let’s make this a comic-book hat trick: There will be a sequel to The Punisher. However, the original Punisher, Thomas Jane (who was the bomb in Stander, yo!) won’t be reprising the role. Instead, Ray Stevenson (not to be confused with Ray Stevens, author of such hits as “It’s Me Again, Margaret,” and “Mississippi Squirrel Revival) will be taking over the role — he’s probably familiar to many of you as Titus Pollo in HBO’s “Rome.” The villain in the sequel will be Jigsaw, though the role has not yet been cast.
Jesus, don’t get too excited or anything.
Informal poll: How many heterosexual men out there, besides socalledcousins, are willing to confess to a fondness for Jane Austen? Because, in the trailer watch, I am no more interested in costume dramas adapted from Jane Austen novels than I am in costume dramas about Jane Austen. That’s because I’m straight. And here is the trailer for Becoming Jane?
The Daily Trade Round-Up / Dustin Rowles
Trade News | July 24, 2007 | Comments ()