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The Television Screen is the Retina of the Mind's Eye.

Death to Videodrome! Long live The New Flesh! / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | April 27, 2009 | Comments (19)

It’s been a lot of years since I saw David Cronenberg’s Videodrome. Like most of Cronenberg’s flicks, it was really fucking weird. I always thought of Cronenberg as the William S. Burroughs of film directors (a notion borne out when he directed Naked Lunch). Videodrome was about a sleazy cable-station president (James Woods) who discovered that he could increase his ratings massively by airing snuff films — movies that depicted mutilation and torture. The Videodrome tape, however, caused brain damage in the viewer — and there’s a lot of hallucinatory stuff involved, and corporate conspiracy, and a lot of blood. Like, spraying human intestines.

Like I said, weird movie. Cool, but not exactly easy to follow (or wasn’t when I saw it at 19).

So, yeah. They’re remaking it. My guess is that they’re going to take a lot of the weird out of the original and replace it with more palatable horseshit. Universal Pictures is running the remake train this time, and the plan is to “modernize the concept, infuse it with the possibilities of nano-technology and blow it up into a large-scale sci-fi action thriller.”

I think that’s probably studio-speak for: Make it into a shitty movie that teenagers will want to see. Cronenberg, by the by, has absolutely nothing to do with the remake.

Here, enjoy a clip:


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Comments

why, god?
because the youngsters might not know what them joysticky controller things are?

i hate you, jesus!

Posted by: gp at April 27, 2009 10:46 AM

modernize the concept

Buzzword bingo!

Posted by: twig at April 27, 2009 10:51 AM

"Videodrome" was a severely frakked up movie. I too watched it when I was a teen and I didn't know that the hell was going on. I liked Cronenberg's similar "eXistenz" more. It's worth digging up if you haven't seen it and like your sci-fi mixed with copious amounts of goo and body fluids (and Jennifer Jason Leigh).

Posted by: TylerDFC at April 27, 2009 10:52 AM

David Cronenberg is one of my favorite directors, and he is fucked up enough that no one should be allowed to remake any of his films. Therefore, I shall not pay any attention to this sort of nonsense.

Posted by: Cindy at April 27, 2009 11:00 AM

Haven't a good portion of Cronenberg's movies received at least some level of remake talk including The Fly, The Brood, and Scanners?

Buzzword bingo!

Ha! Should Dustin ever try to up the synergy around here, you'll probably find me dead in a pool of my own core competency with my mindshare littering my desk.

Posted by: branded at April 27, 2009 11:14 AM

First time posting here, longtime reader. This news angers me beyond words. I take issue with almost every remake/reboot that comes out. Underdog, Alvin and the Chipmunks? Stop trying to ruin my childhood Jason Lee. Nightmare on Elm Street? Freddy=Robert Englund and I hate everyone involved for trying to deny that fact with this ass-tastic remake. I could go on but I'll get to the point: you cannot remake Videodrome. Seriously, this movie is disturbing, it is creepy, it is impossible to follow and it is great. It is great for all the shit that this remake is not going to have. Not only does this movie not need to be remade, it shouldn't be remade. And even this remake won't really be a remake, it'll be a watered down inane version of a classic mindfuck. They'll either add too much gore, or totally sanitize it. If we need a new movie about how tv causes brain damage make a movie about Grey's Anatomy fans. Fuck.

Posted by: Sam at April 27, 2009 11:22 AM

I was a bit (ok, quite a bit older) than my teens when I first saw it. Yeah, it didn't make a lot of sense to me either.

Sort of brought to mind what a script written while the author was tring to recount his last 3 trips would be.

About the only images that remain are James Woods putting a videocassette into his midsection (and are they going to update that to a DVD?), and Debbie Harry using her breast as an ashtray.

Once again, Hollywood demonstrates that change is bad, old is good, why bother to learn how to write a competent screenplay when you can "reimagine" something from your past made by somebody far greater (or a bit more competent).

Posted by: UncleJR at April 27, 2009 11:45 AM

Should Dustin ever try to up the synergy around here, you'll probably find me dead in a pool of my own core competency with my mindshare littering my desk."

I like the way you're fully integrating your proficiency scale, but you need to make sure you avoid any pushback from the other stakeholders. Let's make that your action item for this week.

Posted by: TK at April 27, 2009 11:47 AM

I love the line "I am the video word made flesh!". It's pretty much the whole reason I loved this movie.

Posted by: king at April 27, 2009 11:50 AM

But.. but... Cronenberg! and Woods!

AND DEBORAH HARRY!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at April 27, 2009 12:03 PM

David Cronenberg also occassionally acts. He shows up in "Last Night", an awesome movie that I heartily recommend. Directed by Don McKellar, starring him, Cronenberg, Sarah Polley, Callum Keith Rennie and Sandra Oh, it the perfect Canadian storm.

Posted by: Treena at April 27, 2009 12:36 PM

I saw this a couple years ago at 24-hour movie marathon my college was throwing. It came on around 4am, sandwiched between "Cube" and "Who Framed Roger Rabbit."

I think my brain is still leaking a little.

Posted by: Dingles at April 27, 2009 1:14 PM

More than ten years ago I was asked to critique Videodrome and Eraserhead as a favor to a coworker so he could explain the films to his wife.

I characterized Videodrome as a "modern cautionary tale about the temptations and perils of a media-driven society." Now, that may be wildly wrong, but that's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

(Of course, I also characterized Eraserhead as one man's search for love and acceptance in a bleak postindustrial environment.)

Posted by: The Wanderer at April 27, 2009 1:33 PM

Treena>> Agreed that Last Night is a good film.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at April 27, 2009 1:35 PM

I like the way you're fully integrating your proficiency scale, but you need to make sure you avoid any pushback from the other stakeholders. Let's make that your action item for this week.

That's good silo thinking, TK! I'll fast track it once I'm back from the bathroom, where I shift my paradigm.

Posted by: branded at April 27, 2009 1:52 PM

Goddamnit, they've gone too far. Skitz, I need to borrow the murdertank.

Posted by: s. pisaster at April 27, 2009 2:27 PM

Treena and Darth, I'm so glad to know someone else who has seen and loved Last Night. It's on my top five list of all time favorite movies, but no one I know in L.A. has seen it,or is willing to see it.

But that's probably a good thing. If they did, they'd probably pitch remaking it with Michael Bay at the helm, starring Zac Efron and Miley Cyrus. With lots of big 'splosions and a happy ending.

Not that I'm bitter.

Posted by: Shinykate at April 27, 2009 3:24 PM

I have been angered and downright confused by many of the remakes that have been thrust upon us over the past few years, but this is the first time I have really felt it in my gut. My stomach actually clenched and I felt an overwhelming sadness. It's not even because Videodrome is the best movie ever made. I don't think it is. It's just that, and I usually hate when other people use this argument, this film is a work of art. It does not follow a simple storyline, doesn't just lay it all out on a platter and hand you a spork so you can go to town. You have to work a little, strain your eyes a little, consume a few substances, and still come away not fully understanding what just happened. I think this is the worst idea I have heard in a long time, and it makes me sad for the movie industry in general.

Of course, I'm all depressed today cuz the girl I love used to love me but does no longer. Everything I see today will have a decidedly blue hue to it.

Posted by: puregonzo at April 27, 2009 3:33 PM

Oh, I love Last Night. I, too, don't know a lot of people that have seen it, which is strange to me. The IFC channel is so ubiquitous nowadays - all the major cable and satellite carriers have it (on fairly cheap packages, no less). I just don't see a reason for people not to see movies like it.

Posted by: elsie at April 27, 2009 9:49 PM