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The only thing that matters is what that jury believes!!!

By Seth Freilich | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (7)

the-whole-truth.jpg

We keep marching along with the network upfronts. Since talking about ABC’s new schedule, the Alphabet has given us some videos for its new shows. Let’s see what we’ve got (warning: the answer is “not much”).

“Better Together”

Prognosis: …Ugh.

“Body of Proof”

Prognosis: Dana Delany, Philly, Kima from “The Wire” and “trace amounts of semen,” all good. But still … “the body is the evidence?” Ugh.

“Detroit 1-8-7”

Prognosis: What’d I say yesterday? Oh that’s right: “I give. Merciful Christ.” Sorry Mikey Imperioli, I likes ya, but no.

“Happy Endings”

Prognosis: I love happy endings, if you know what I’m saying, nudge nudge wink wink. But as for this show, unless I’m promised that a cougar will chase down and eat Elisha Cuthbert’s character, I’m out (even though I love, love, love Eliza Coupe from “Scrubs”).

“Mr. Sunshine”

Prognosis: Well this at least has some potential, though we’ll have to wait until midseason to see if it can put the pieces together. More importantly though, seeing Andrea Anders makes me miss “Better Off Ted” already. Really, we had to lose “Better Off Ted” to get “Happy Endings?” Damn you, ABC!

“My Generation”

Prognosis: I’ll stick with what I said yesterday: “It stars a bunch of people I’ve mostly never heard of and, speaking of ‘The Unusuals,’ comes from Noah Hawley, the writer and exec producer of that show (and from ‘Bones,’ before that). Because of that, I’ll probably gives this show a chance. But I’ll be setting my expectations low.” …And they’re a little bit lower, still, after watching this clip.

“No Ordinary Family”

Prognosis: Well I don’t know what to make of this show. It sounds really intriguing on paper, and comes off disappointingly cheesy in trailer. But I remain intrigued, and am still willing to give it a shot. Especially because Romany Malco can do no wrong.

“Off The Map”

Prognosis: I kept waiting for the Smoke Monster to come out of the jungle and eat the doctors but he never came! …This Shonda Rhimes show is going to work for some, but don’t count me among them.

“Secret Millionaire”

Prognosis: This show stunk when it was on Fox a few years ago, and it looks like it’ll stink when it’s on ABC later this year. And yet, I could easily see this tugging-at-the-heartstrings show being a quiet little hit for the Alphabet.

“The Whole Truth”

Prognosis: I love Rob Morrow, I love Eamonn Walker, and I like Joely Richardson but, uhm, no.









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Comments

meh meh meh. feh. I'm beginning to remember why I didn't watch TV before LOST was on.

Posted by: Johnny C. Georgie at May 19, 2010 9:53 AM

I give "Body of Proof" a shot only because it's set in Philadelphia and I'd watch Dana Delany brush her teeth for 40 minutes, but maaaan. They are pushing it.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at May 19, 2010 10:19 AM

Much as I usually tend to cynicism, I'm finding that this year's new shows are a huge improvement over the last year's offerings, and I guess I'm even more convinced of the heavy toll the writers' strike had on the genre (from which we're still basically suffering). Across the board on all the networks, I'm seeing actors who I like and premises that, while not world-changing, are at least somewhat creative.

That being said, I'm sure Shonda Rimes put her new show in the Amazon so she can do penis-fish stories every week. And for sure, someone's panties will end up somewhere completely inappropriate. It would take a shit-ton of critics telling me that "Off the Map" is the greatest thing since sliced bread before I'd sample another one of her shows.

All of these clips suffer from that cheesy announcer voiceover and cliched music choices. Why do they do that? Let the stories speak for themselves, it's the number one rule of writing, for chrissakes.

Posted by: Dudleys Mom at May 19, 2010 10:55 AM

I don't think I can watch that Detroit show without my eyes rolling right out of my head. Oh brother. Are they even filming here or did they just shoot some landmarks for in between scenes? You think I have a shot at being a corpse?
If the show was really good, it'd focus on the fucking corrupt government. But no. It's going to just be murders every week. I really should watch just to complain.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at May 19, 2010 11:18 AM

I'm sorry, but how is that Secret Millionaire show supposed to be inspiring? It's a fucking tax write off for those people--depending on how much they're actually worth, $100,000 is nothing more than chump change. They probably have to donate much more to even alter their tax bracket. And giving poor people a goddamn check isn't going to fix anything. In some cases, it can even leave people worse off.

Posted by: Lindsay at May 19, 2010 11:34 AM


JANNEY!!!!!!!!!!!! My television, and my life, are better when you're in it.

This had better not suck, dammit.

Posted by: figgy at May 19, 2010 1:03 PM

Amen to that, figgz. And if I saw a crowd of axe-wielding clowns coming at me, you can be sure that I'd chuck a bunch of kids at them and then RUN AWAY!! RUN AWAY!! Holy Grail-style.

Posted by: Jelinas at May 20, 2010 1:32 AM