web
counter
 

Man, That's Like Tripendicular, Ya Know?

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (20)



valleygirl.jpg

So, MGM is remaking Valley Girl. That was inevitable, I suppose. And if you don’t know anything about the original, it was about a suburban girl, who, like, totally hooked up with a punk (played by Nicolas Cage), and they, you know, totally, like, go to the prom and stuff and talk, like, in a way that, you know, makes you want to, like, strangle yourself.

The surprise here, however, is how they are “re-imagining” Valley Girl. They’ve hired Broadway director Jason Moore, who directed Avenue Q and Steel Magnolias on Broadway, as well as the Tony-nominated Broadway version of Shrek: The Musical.

Mr. Moore, working from a script by Amy Talkington, will be turning Valley Girl into a musical. A musical! Because the only thing more obnoxious than Valley-girl speak, is, like, Valley-girl speak set to music. According to THR, the “project revamps the story as a “Romeo and Juliet”-inspired musical built around the first movie’s New Wave soundtrack (think Modern English, Sparks and the Psychedelic Furs).”

“I’ll, like. stop the world and, you know, melt with you. And stuff.”

Turn to the stranger to your left, and spit on him.

It’ll make you feel better.









Grace Trailer | Total Recall Remake













Comments

Like, totally gag me with a spoon.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 3, 2009 10:03 AM

Cromulently craptacular.
Completely out of fresh meat, mainstream Hollywood has begun devouring its own shit-filled intestines.

Posted by: Spender at June 3, 2009 10:04 AM

Well, at least they can get Nic Cage again. I'm sure he'd love to be in the musical.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at June 3, 2009 10:05 AM

how...relevant.

Posted by: gp at June 3, 2009 10:07 AM

I don't know, Avenue Q is pretty fucking awesome. This could be entertaining, if they do it right.

Posted by: Snath at June 3, 2009 10:08 AM

Anyone else just about ready to retire 'reboot' and 'reimagine'?

Posted by: twig at June 3, 2009 10:14 AM

I hate to ask, but what's next?

"Ferris Buehlers Day Off"?

"Stalag 17, the musical"

"Citizen Kane" starring Will Ferril?

Posted by: UncleJR at June 3, 2009 10:19 AM

Valley Girl was the first R rated pic I remember seeing.

Posted by: mr. West at June 3, 2009 10:35 AM

I'm with Snath. This could be fun. They've chosen someone talented to man the helm so I'll give it the benefit of the doubt--that is until Zac Ephron is cast . . . although his stint on SNL was kinda awesome

Posted by: Amber at June 3, 2009 10:37 AM

Could Nicolas Cage look anymore like a dipshit in that image?

Posted by: NF at June 3, 2009 10:48 AM

Gag me with a penis. It'll be just like if they redid Hairspray as a musical. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Posted by: BWeaves at June 3, 2009 10:52 AM

NO! NO! NO! oh god, I need to lie down.

I love Valley Girl (in a non-ironic, pastel balls to the wall kinda way) and I am SAD about this.

Posted by: queenoragina at June 3, 2009 11:07 AM

Bring it on. The world needs more musicals (as long as they're not High School Musical)! Do you remember when the Oscars had a particular award for best musical between 1995 and 1999. I know a musical makes for stilted films because one has to stop the flow of real story and dialogue to put in music and possibly dancing but it can be entertaining if done well.

P.S Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy remains a classic. First adult musical movie.

Posted by: barf at June 3, 2009 11:58 AM

Um...did anyone think to inform MGM that the concept of "Valley Girl" is kind of over? I associate it with the 80s...but then again, I'm east coast, so who the hell knows.
Anyhoo...this news sucks. So does the news about the Heathers remake. Boooooooo

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at June 3, 2009 12:59 PM

Why? Just why?
"Valley Girl" was also my first "R" movie and my friend and I spent the first half mocking Nic Cage's perfectly trimmed triangular patch of chest hair. If that's all we mocked him for now...

Posted by: SugarKane at June 3, 2009 1:15 PM

Well, I'm excited. I love musicals. And if it's done well (and with that director I'm pretty damn sure it will be) it could be spectacular.

As long as they keep Nic Cage far, FAR away from it.

Posted by: figgy at June 3, 2009 2:11 PM

Hey, if they can work in "Johnny, Are You Queer?" then I'm all for it.

Posted by: bev rage at June 3, 2009 2:55 PM

*sigh*

Posted by: Jana at June 3, 2009 5:51 PM

This will be puketastically awful. I doubt it will get past the development stage. Why not just remake west Side Story? That's more well known then Valley Girl.

Posted by: I Like Whores at June 3, 2009 7:02 PM

Ah, damn, bev rage beat me to it.

Posted by: Melissa at June 3, 2009 7:11 PM


















Viral Hits

>> Pajiba Movie Posters

>> Pop Culture's 20 Greatest Dancing GIFs

>> Mindhole Blowers

>> The 100 Greatest Insults of All Time

>> The "Other" 100 Greatest Movie Quotes

>> The 100 Greatest Movie Threats of All Time

>> The Sean Bean Death Reel

>> Chicks Dig Beards: It's Science

>> The Coolest TV Show Title Sequences

>> The Most Rewatchable Movies

>> The Most Expensive Movies of All Time