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The Pajiba Community Contributes to the Internal Discussions of Valkyrie

Why Does No One Love Us / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | October 1, 2008 | Comments (18)

Now this is just weird: Deadline Hollywood’s Nikke Finke, who as we all know is so powerful that when she makes up shit for her column, the studios work double-time to make it happen lest they piss her off — got her hands on an internal memo from MGM regarding the Valkyrie trailer, and published it on her site (scurrilous!). What’s funny, however, is just how in tune the MGM memo is with our own post and the subsequent comments about the trailer. I think the Memo is based largely on feedback you all gave the trailer.

From: Sandro Bellini [Digital Marketing | Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc]
Sent: Monday, September 29, 2008 4:27 PM

Attached is an updated report on online buzz around the new Valkyrie assets:

OVERVIEW

Favorable Tone Dominates Trailer Buzz - Currently, reactions to the Valkyrie trailer are significantly favorable (approximately 80%) within Entertainment, Fan-Boy, Video Sharing, Social Networks, Social Bookmarks, and Fan communities. Fans deem the trailer “fantastic,” often praising the “stylistic” way that the footage was cut and asserting that it is “way better” than the initial teaser. Enthusiasts also note that the “intriguing” trailer has furthered their anticipation for the film’s release and anticipate that it will feature many great performances from the ensemble cast. Additionally, many viewers share avid excitement to see Bryan Singer’s “distinctive work” in the film and, while others admitted that they “aren’t fans” of Tom Cruise, they stated that the trailer has “sold” them on seeing Valkyrie in December. Neutral reactions (15%) arise from viewers sharing mixed reactions to the trailer, often asserting that while the film has the potential to be “awesome” they still have their doubts based on the initial critical buzz. The limited amount of unfavorable discussion (5%) stems from critics expressing general disinterest in the film, contending that the trailer makes Valkyrie look like “another Hollywood action movie.”


And if you look at the Pajiba comments, you’ll notice the uncanny similarities:


“I think Cruise studied at the Costner School of Accents and Dialects.” — Mella

“The trailer is kind of blah.” — Cindy

“Am I the only one who almost had a seizure from this trailer?” — Knife Pile

“Is it just me, or is the editing kind of… off? It looks more like a spoof trailer.” — Sofia

“So VALKYRIE is the sequel to TROPIC THUNDER? So soon? Awesome!” — SpiceLux

“I’m… underwhelmed. Too bad, because it’s a fascinating story that deserves a good movie.” —louveciennes

“Also that movie looks great. I wonder if they get Hitler?” —Ambrosekalifornia


Hmmm. I don’t think MGM did all the research — I believe there was some cherry-picking done here. Again, the Pajiba contingent is ignored by the mainstream. Fuck ‘em. Fuck ‘em all.


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Comments

I don't know about you, Dustin, but I don't see the words "according to Chilean PinkOscar winner, Lady Sofía..." anywhere in that memo.

Posted by: Sofía at October 1, 2008 2:17 PM

is it just me, or does anybody else dislike movies where the climax is already known because of....oh, I don't know...history?


SPOILER ALERT!!!!


They didn't kill Hitler. I just saved you ten bucks.

Posted by: aidan at October 1, 2008 2:25 PM

It does seem "strange" that the Pajiban "reaction" to the trailer would be so at odds with "whatever" "other" websites they "looked" at.

Posted by: Todd at October 1, 2008 2:27 PM

Just another example of White Corporate America trying to keep the off-white pajiban down with their Cruiseian dogma. I bet these mother fuckers are Scientologists too.

Remember people don't trust whitey. Or Tom Cruise.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 1, 2008 2:43 PM

It's obvious that by "online buzz", they mean "vocalizations made by Scientologist trainees on an IV drip of Scientolobabybarley Formula forced to repeatedly watch the trailer until they succumb to signing written statements".

Posted by: Cindy at October 1, 2008 3:02 PM

aiden, don't be so sure. I'm gunning for the ending where Hitler descends into his bunker, only to find Tom Cruise, battered and broken from the events of the film, sitting under a bare light bulb with a Luger. He wordlessly places the pistol down on the table as Hitler closes the door behind him.

This is the ending I expect, nay, demand from Hollywood, and I'll settle for no less.

Posted by: Macafee at October 1, 2008 3:06 PM

I agree with aiden. The historical context of the Indiana Jones films in particular drained any dramatic tension from the plot. Knowing for a fact that Hitler never did obtain ancient all powerful artifacts with which to dominate the world made Dr. Jones' victory a foregone conclusion.

The original Star Wars saga is misunderstood as perhaps the most nihilistic story ever committed to film. The struggles of the protagonists must weigh against the historical knowledge that regardless of their success or failure, their civilization from "a long time ago" is not even a footnote in our present histories of the universe. Good and evil fade to an indistinct blur of gray in the context of the eternal ennui of an indifferent universe.

Posted by: stipe42 at October 1, 2008 3:20 PM

I understand the dismay with mainstream, but isn't that what makes it mainstream? Pajiba is like Fight Club, only difference being that ass is kicked with wordsmithery. Wait, is there a review for Fight Club?

Posted by: ThunderSacTriumph at October 1, 2008 3:25 PM

Good and evil fade to an indistinct blur of gray in the context of the eternal ennui of an indifferent universe.

Wow. Just... wow.

Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at October 1, 2008 3:30 PM

The fact that we know the outcome doesn't matter. It's how CLOSE they came that will be fascinating to watch.

Hell, I'm just looking forward to seeing a movie that doesn't have a cartoon rubber ball hero in it.

Posted by: elzupasmonkey at October 1, 2008 3:41 PM

I think that all the double quotes around the favorable words is actually sarcasm. Or am I reading too much into this?

EX: 'Fans deem the trailer "fantastic," often praising the "stylistic" way that the footage was cut and asserting that it is "way better" than the initial teaser.'

Doesn't that look like the sarcasm font to you?

Posted by: BWeaves at October 1, 2008 4:05 PM

I think MGM needs a brutally honest gay best friend. The kind that, while your girlfriends insist you look great in your new halter top, will say, "Oh my god, your backfat is staring at me. Get your dimpled ass back in your room and find something to wear that won't embarrass me."

Posted by: Mella at October 1, 2008 4:31 PM

Where can I get me one of these hollywood jobs where you check out websites and cherry pick some comments as a form of "research"? Sounds like the easiest job on earth. disgusted and envious, am I.

Posted by: zeropointzero at October 2, 2008 11:18 AM

"Fan-Boy" communities? WtF?

You can't say that word, only we can say it.

Posted by: AmbroseKalifornia at October 2, 2008 1:37 PM

I hope MGM reads these comments and takes the time to look up the fact that Tom Cruise is one step away from being a Holocaust Denier!

Oh sure, he thinks it happened, but the way Scientology sees it, it wasn't the Nazi's Xenophobia that caused them to kill millions of Jews, it was because they were puppets of the worldwide psychiatry conspiracy.

Yes, that's right, the mental health industry caused the Holocaust. I bet all the Jews and other ethnic minorities feel a lot better knowing that we are now aware of the truth that they went to the gas chambers to test antidepresant medicines.

Hey, Cruise thinks 9/11 was caused by the same psychiatric association puppet masters.

I wonder how many references, of Cruise's actual belief that "Big Pharma" and the Marcabians are behind the whole thing, found their way into Valkyrie?

Are we going to see Sigmund Freud and Adolph Hitler team up to thwart the assaination at the last second?

Posted by: Godsbane at October 3, 2008 5:04 AM

That was a typo on the word assassination and... No, actually. It's good.

Posted by: Godsbane at October 3, 2008 5:07 AM

I love your services and products, many thanks!

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Posted by: attaideom at October 12, 2008 11:11 AM