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September 11, 2008 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | September 11, 2008 |

ChristopherWalkenadsfasdf.jpgVal Kilmer is too goddamn cool for school. The man likes to stare at buffaloes. Cause he likes the way they look. He owns two. One of them is named James Brown. Because it likes to spin around in circles. I’m not making this up. Ask Klosterman. Kilmer likes buffalo because he’s part Cherokee. And Cherokee Indians used to live inside bison. His words. Not mine. Val Kilmer also writes bad poetry. He was the Ice Man. He was Jim Morrison. He was Doc Holiday. He was Batman. He’s the new voice of Knight Rider.

He’s also certifiable.

I wish we were friends.

Anyway, he’s signed on to an indie flick, Experiment, which takes advantage of Kilmer’s special brand of crazy. He will play a former university professor who locks six hostages in a Turkish bath house to prove to them the effects of global warming. I am totally not making that up. Eric Roberts also co-stars as one of the hostages. Eric Roberts, for those unfamiliar, is Julia Roberts’ brother. He’s also batshit. Should be an interesting film.

I’m just glad that Kilmer is getting roles again. Fun Fact: He’s set to star in as many as 16 films over the next two years, including Dirt, where he’s rumored to play David Lee Roth in a Motley Crue biopic. And you know what’s even better: Christopher Walken is rumored to play Ozzy Osbourne.

That would be the greatest movie. Ever.

For giggles, here’s the best music video of all time.

No One Else Does / Dustin Rowles

Industry | September 11, 2008 |

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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