macgruber.jpg
We Got Ten Seconds Left! No, One *Boom*


Val Kilmer Lined up for the MacGruber Movie / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | July 8, 2009 | Comments (34)


People have been bemoaning the suck of “SNL” almost as long, now, as the damn show has been airing. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s not just simple groupthink — if you’re 25 years old, and complaining that “SNL” isn’t what it used to be, then what the hell are you comparing it too? The Ana Gastayer/Cheri Oteri years? “SNL” is a show that’s really only good in hindsight, when the horrible skits are forgotten about and only the decent ones remain in your memory banks. It’s just as hit-and-miss in 2009 as it was in 1985. Hell, it’s better than it was in 1985, and not any worse than it was in 1995.

What am I bitching about? Oh yeah: MacGruber. We mentioned a couple of months ago that a movie was in the works, based on the sort-of-funny once skit (that many simply mistake for a Pepsi commercial). Well, guess what? They’re actually going through with it. And this baby is not going to be just another dog-and-pony show with a bunch of SNL actors littering the screen. They’ve gotten actual actors to star in it. Washed up actors, but still. Ryan Phillippe and Val Kilmer are going to drive the nail through the coffin and into the back of the head of their careers by showing up in it. Jorma Taccone, who created the character and wrote the skit, will be writing with Will Forte, and directing the movie (he also played Cha-Ka in Land of the Lost).

The story will take the character into a new direction, as it must, since in the skits, he blows up after 90 seconds. According to Variety, the movie will follow the legendary, much decorated MacGruber, who is pulled out of retirement as a monk in Ecuador by a colonel, who needs him once more to fight on behalf of his country. This time the mission involves going up against the evil Cunth, who has a nuclear warhead; the mission is personal because Cunth killed MacGruber’s bride.

Cunth? You gotta be fucking kidding me? Val Kilmer will be playing Cunth, because of course he is. Phillippe will play a reluctant army officer paired up with MacGruber to track down Cunth. Kristen Wiig will play MacGruber’s assistant, as she does in the skits. How this works as a movie, I have no idea, mostly because the gimmick is that he blows himself up over and over and over, which could be distracting when you’re trying to fashion a linear plotline.


The Gate Remake | Book of Blood Trailer



Comments

Forgive me, since I couldn't give less of a fuck about SNL if I tried, I have to ask: Has any SNL skit turned into a movie ever worked out well? I don't know how many there have been, all I know is:

"It's Pat"

Little help here?

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 8, 2009 11:13 AM

Dude, Wayne's World

Posted by: Cody Owens at July 8, 2009 11:19 AM

Blues Brothers

Posted by: henchman for hire at July 8, 2009 11:26 AM

Dustin, you're crushing my soul today. How about a nice article about puppies? Puppies are fun. Puppies don't make me stare longingly at the shotgun in my closet.

I'm quitting early today and heading over to lolcats. Screw you guys, I'm going home.

Posted by: ahamos at July 8, 2009 11:28 AM

Wayne's World was such a colossal success that it was the birth father of all this stupid "turn SNL skits into movies" shit that we are now subject to today.

Back in the day, I loved the movie Wayne's World. I really did. But now, after seeing what havoc it has wrecked upon our world, when I flip by it on some cable channel on tv - I throw up in my mouth a little.

Posted by: Kelly at July 8, 2009 11:29 AM

Stuart Saves His Family

Posted by: gerald at July 8, 2009 11:31 AM

First, I spend my childhood watching SNL; all the classic episodes with Hartman, Sandler, Murphy, the Not-Ready-for-Primetime-Players. I read about Michael O'Donoghue and making dangerous comedy.
Then, I start watching current SNL and realizing how much of it is really mediocre.
Then, I wanted to host the last episode of SNL where we fired all the writers, hung Lorne Michaels by his toes and brought aboard actually funny scenes and performers.
Then, I spent a year watching SNL hoping that it had turned around with the addition of the Lonely Island, and screaming into a pillow during the sketches AND the digital shorts (I'm sorry).
Now, I don't even think of it until I read something about it in a column or blog. And I feel better for it whenever I read things like this.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at July 8, 2009 11:33 AM

I... kind of loved Cheri Oteri on SNL. Ooh. Ouch! Shame stings a little.

And bothering to remark that this movie is going to suck is like watching someone build a massive bonfire and informing everyone present that the flames are likely to be hot.

But duuude, will this movie ever suck.

Posted by: Judith Priest at July 8, 2009 11:36 AM

Night at the Roxbury, Coneheads, Ladies Man, Superstar, and Blues Brothers 2000 (technically).

Is there such a thing as a colonic for your brain? Maybe using Drano?

Posted by: branded at July 8, 2009 11:44 AM

Ummmmm.....Night at the Roxbury?
Sorry for injecting your head with that "What is Love" song!

Posted by: courtney at July 8, 2009 11:46 AM

I watched Surveillance last weekend and didn't even recognize Cheri Oteri until the credits rolled.

I kind of thought she was funny on SNL too.

Posted by: Snath at July 8, 2009 11:55 AM

Well now, how does one pronounce "Cunth?" I'm guessing, "Koont?" Maybe this will actually be funny, if, you know, idiot studioheads keep their noses out of it...

...Hello? Hello? Where'd everybody go?

Posted by: bev rage at July 8, 2009 11:57 AM

I have a soft spot for The Ladies Man.

I probably shouldn't admit that here.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 8, 2009 11:59 AM

Ladies Man has the one awesome line "Can I buy you a fish sandwich?". In fact, I would defend that movie with the same tenacity I show in my defense of Undercover Brother.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at July 8, 2009 12:00 PM

The problem is we all know how this movie is going to end, and if it doesn't end with MacGruber asking Ryan Phillippe to do something mind-boggling, with Phillippe's hesitation resulting in the explosive death of everyone, then, well, I don't really know how it could accurately be called a MacGruber movie.

Posted by: Macafee at July 8, 2009 12:01 PM

Let's start a club, Mel.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at July 8, 2009 12:03 PM

Richard Dean Anderson needs to sue the SHIT out of everyone involved in this.

Seriously.

Posted by: Jerce at July 8, 2009 12:17 PM

Ohhh, it'th a Lay-deh! I love The Ladies' Man. It is never not funny to me. I also loved The Coneheads. I will not apologize.

Posted by: Cletus at July 8, 2009 12:17 PM

Cletus can be in the club! And we'll all drink Courvoisier! (Is that stuff any good?)

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 8, 2009 12:21 PM

Optimus isn't old enough to drink yet. He's a Shirley Temple kinda guy.

Posted by: branded at July 8, 2009 12:30 PM

"They’ve gotten actual actors to star in it. Washed up actors, but still. Ryan Phillippe and Val Kilmer..."


Oh now you are ragging on Iceman? Do you wake up everyday looking for ways to debase yourself publicly, Rowles?

If you knew shit about comedy you'd know that Kilmer be exactly what's needed to pull this thing off.


Oh and, smurf you, man.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 8, 2009 12:53 PM

I'm pre-emptive giggling at the scene where Val Kilmer introduces himself as Cunth.

COME ON!

Posted by: Angus at July 8, 2009 1:03 PM

Well Mel, my experience with any kind of brandy tells me that it is no good. It could be that I didn't sip it out of a crystal snifter.
Can we say that one of the club's hobbies is "Da Butt"?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at July 8, 2009 1:07 PM


I can't stop giggling at "Cunth".

Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeeheeeeeee...

Posted by: figgy at July 8, 2009 1:09 PM

Seriously, this was the first season of SNL in my entire life that I felt was strong enough to be called a great complete season. Sure, every single sketch wasn't perfect. But they were on their game every week, and there were more cohesively funny episodes than the series has ever seen in a row. I'm not defending the idea of a Macgruber movie (it's stupid), but come on. Give the show its due. And I love Val Kilmer.

P.S. Has anyone checked out the interactive timeline on the SNL website? They get to the last few seasons, and what's the one and only thing they mention? Not the Digital Shorts. No, the one thing they list is Macgruber. No wonder they're making a movie: NBC can't pull their heads out of their asses long enough to realize that there are much funnier things going on than this one-note joke.

Posted by: ChristianH at July 8, 2009 1:32 PM

I can't prove it because I've only seen "Best Of" material from the first seasons(and because I dont care), but I'm fairly certain SNL has always sucked. It usually has a few funny skits per show and that's it. It's just that when it came out it was fresh and new, and they've always managed to have a few future stars. Stick to the "Best Of"s.

But, seriously, Jim Doggie, you thought Lonely Island was gonna save that show? Fuck that. Sandberg is the legitimization of amateur internet comedy. And we all know what happens when you give guys like The Whitest Kids You Know a camera and a budget. I mean, I'd to like them all, but I just can't. And I think that is the problem with those guys(and SNL in general), everyone is laughing because they want to, not because it's really funny.

Posted by: pissant at July 8, 2009 1:38 PM

I love The Ladies Man, too. Every time Amanda and I went shopping for wine, we'd look at the cheap stuff and riff on the Mexican box wine, "It'th heavy."

Posted by: ahamos at July 8, 2009 2:01 PM

I remember staying up late to watch the very first SNL because George Carlin was hosting. I really don't remember anything after that.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 8, 2009 2:06 PM

Ahamos, come join us too!

And yeah, Optimus, I agree. Hehehe.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 8, 2009 2:39 PM

"Wayne's World"

"Blues Brothers"

True, but you had to go back pretty damn far, didn't you?

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 8, 2009 2:49 PM

Official Club Past times will include Da Butt and Thkankth.

We need t-shirts.

Posted by: Cletus at July 8, 2009 3:31 PM

Kilmer? Do not sir, I say do not, forget Willow and The Salton Sea.

Richard Dean Anderson needs to sue the SHIT out of everyone involved in this.

I agree.

The story will take the character into a new direction, as it must, since in the skits, he blows up after 90 seconds.

They will update that to movie time and after sitting through an hour and a half of utter shit he will blow up at that 90 minute mark.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at July 8, 2009 5:27 PM

I do love The Bronx Beat with Betti and Jodi.

Sadly, no more, as Amy and Maya are gone.

Posted by: Janey at July 8, 2009 8:27 PM

Wasn't Kiss Kiss Bang Bang the start of the great Val Kilmer comeback?

What happened?

Posted by: Daniel Hall at July 9, 2009 8:30 PM