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Reese Witherspoon Buys and Trades Men

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (38)

reese-witherspoon-38.JPG

Back in the year 2006, Fox greenlit a high-concept movie called Used Guys, which starred Jim Carrey and Ben Stiller, as two men who lived in a world dominated by women. The men, as all men are in this alternative future, are clones, which can be bought and traded by women. In the movie, Carrey and Stiller were to be in search of their masculinity. Jay Roach (Austin Powers) was set to direct.

However, costs spiraled out of control, and with two high paid actors, who were taking a combined 27 percent of the back-end profits, Fox killed the project.

Now, they’re resurrecting it. Instead of focusing on the two used men, the script will now focus on the relationship between the clone (Stiller) and the clone owner (Reese Witherspoon). “Little Miss Sunshine” directors Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris are negotiating to direct. Smaller budget. Better director. And no Jim Carrey. If they could just ditch Ben Stiller, we might have a movie here.

So that’s going to happen. But with Stiller and Reese planning to work together on this film, where does that put the Cameron Crowe’s delayed next project, which was set to star Reese and Stiller? Hopefully, it means that it’s dead. Because as much as I love Cameron Crowe, I hated the idea behind the untitled project: “A tropical romantic adventure comedy with light sci-fi and heavy supernatural aspects,” which included this description: “Haunted by visions of Hawaiian ghosts in green mists, mistaken for incarnations of the Hawaiian gods Lono and Pele, and prophesied to bring about the Arrival?!”

In better news, apparently Camerown Crowe is working on a Pearl Jam documentary to celebrate the band’s 20th anniversary. Yes. You are that old.

And because any excuse is a good excuse:










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Comments

I AM NOT THAT OLD! You shut up. I'll be over here floating down the river Denial.

Posted by: Melody at May 5, 2009 10:56 AM

Thanks for linking to the most cringe-worthy moment in cinematic history, Rowles.

Posted by: samantha t at May 5, 2009 10:57 AM

"The men, as all men are in this alternative future, are clones, which can be bought and traded by women."

Why the HELL would ANYONE clone Stiller or Carrey? And you're damn right I'd be trading those clowns in if I was stuck with them.

Posted by: BWeaves at May 5, 2009 10:58 AM

The magic that is Almost Famous has slightly ebbed over the years but, damn, scenes like this make me remember why that movie blew me away when I first saw it.

Posted by: jpguy13 at May 5, 2009 11:05 AM

BWeaves:
I hear you. Those two clearly came from WalMart in the clone bargain aisle, and were cloned in a sweat shop in China using lead paint.

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 5, 2009 11:25 AM

Gah. So that's why I fast forwarded through that scene. Can't STAND that song. Never understood the appeal of Sir John.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at May 5, 2009 11:29 AM

Almost Famous -- on my list of "all-time perfect movies". Doesn't matter if you like it; it's just a great example of a perfectly-executed movie. And the only movie where what's-her-name Goldie Hawn's daughter was any good.

Posted by: Neodiogenes at May 5, 2009 11:56 AM

Never understood the appeal of Sir John.

That's Dame Elton to you.

It's not one of his best.

Posted by: Jay at May 5, 2009 11:58 AM

I still love that scene. Damn, I wish Kate Hudson would find herself another quality vehicle.

The new incarnation of Used does seem to proffer possibilities.

Posted by: tamatha at May 5, 2009 12:05 PM

Those two clearly came from WalMart in the clone bargain aisle, and were cloned in a sweat shop in China using lead paint.

This is where I shamefully admit that I have seen Multiplicity, which taught me that making clones of clones, then making clones of those etc ad nauseum makes progressively lower quality results. That's how you start with Statham and end up with Carrey down the road.

Posted by: branded at May 5, 2009 12:05 PM

And that ought to be a lesson for all of the people throwing digital music at each other, and even paying for it, but they don't care about quality anyway, those knuckleknobs.

Posted by: Jay at May 5, 2009 12:15 PM

And of course I won't watch this vile sexism, but that is a nice picture of Reese.

Posted by: Jay at May 5, 2009 12:17 PM

Yes. I am that old. 1 year more as of this day.

I can no longer say I am in my late 20's. I am in my 'last' 20. Was I seriously 10 fucking years old when Pearl Jam got together?????? Holy Shit!

...::pours margarita::

cheers!

Posted by: PissBoy at May 5, 2009 12:35 PM

******************Highjack ALert*****************

MSNBC is reporting that Dom DeLuise has died.

Posted by: slower lower at May 5, 2009 12:39 PM

And that ought to be a lesson for all of the people throwing digital music at each other, and even paying for it, but they don't care about quality anyway, those knuckleknobs.

Explain, please.

Posted by: I Love Beets at May 5, 2009 12:43 PM

Oh, you know, copies of copies of copies and formats get changed and changed again or recompressed and you've got this little corrupted lo-fi chunk o' junk, and it's probably got the wrong name by this point (plus iTunes sells junk to begin with).

Posted by: Jay at May 5, 2009 12:58 PM

Awww Happy Birthday, PissBoy! And I promise thirty doesn't hurt nearly as much as everyone would like you to believe!

Posted by: Eyvi at May 5, 2009 1:06 PM

As far as I know, simply copying digital music has little discernible effect on the quality of the output. Reformatting, perhaps, and similarly for recompressing, though that happens less often than you think. Most digital music aficionados stick with 320 MP3's, or better yes, lossless Flac files, and they'll sound just as good as CD quality sound.

As for the naming, get a decent media player (Mediamonkey or Winamp) with a good dbase hookup and you can DL tags with relative ease, regardless of how screwy the file name is. But again, it's rare that I have to.

I know, I know, it's cool to slag on digital music because you get to blather on about your vinyl/CD collection and the authentic sound is, but don't treat digital music collectors like some sort of ignorant fools. It's not your cup of tea, fine, but I get sick of that superior fucking tone.

Posted by: I Love Beets at May 5, 2009 1:06 PM

I really, really hate "Almost Famous" and I hate that scene more than any other musical montage in movie history. It's so awkward. HATED IT.

And I have to echo BWeaves here:

Who the HELL would clone those two?

Posted by: figgy at May 5, 2009 1:21 PM

I never got that scene. Everyone was getting their panties all wet over it when the movie came out, but I swear I never got what the big deal was. Then an exasperated friend turned to me and explained that it was because I was dead inside and hated hippies.

Posted by: courtney at May 5, 2009 1:46 PM

I hate Cameron Crowe and I'm pretty indifferent to "Almost Famous" (I can objectively appreciate that it's a good movie, but I don't like it), but I do enjoy that bus scene. I've had stuff like that happen, where an awkward silence or stillness is broken by the very simple unity of a song. It's a nice feeling; you know while it's happening that you're a part of a moment that will mean nothing to history but a lot to everyone in it.

That being said, sweet zombie Jesus, Billy Crudup looks like Charles Manson in this movie.

Posted by: Geetch at May 5, 2009 2:14 PM

I actually love "Tiny Dancer", so that's why I hate that scene (plus the fact that I really didn't like the movie). What was strange to me is that this band was supposed to be all hippied-out, but were they Elton John's demographic? I feel like "Smoke on the Water" or something made more sense, but that may have been an anachronistic choice.

Posted by: samantha t at May 5, 2009 2:18 PM

Quality's all I'm really concerned about, and retail digital, the "good legal stuff"'s just not good enough, so it's much better to just rip your own files. It just doesn't make sense to me when people are angry that they can't pay to download a 256k album.

The weirdest thing is when people copy YouTube videos and re-upload them to make "their own" videos, and it's crap. Pride of ownership or something?

Of course people who refuse to deal with physical objects and hard copies have no taste, but that's another matter entirely. Quality is Job 1!

Posted by: Jay at May 5, 2009 2:29 PM

I was dead inside and hated hippies.

Hating hippies has nothing to do with being dead inside. It's about being sane. Hippies are scum.

Yeah, I like the "Voodoo Chile" scene a lot more.

Posted by: Jay at May 5, 2009 2:31 PM

I agree that the retail digital stuff is frequently kind of lousy, but that doesn't mean that digital music, as a medium, is no good. It just means you have to know where to look.

I don't refuse to deal with physical objects or hard copies because I have no taste, but rather out of convenience and ease of storage. And the statement that those who do have no taste? That's the kind of condescending, superior horseshit that pisses me off.

That said, iTunes sucks. If you need to pay for digital music, there are far better places to go - hell, Amazon MP3 is better than stupid iTunes, which sucks both in content and in terms of the massive amount of resources it consumes just to run itself. Personally, I don't touch anything that's less than 320K - another reason to hate Apple - iPods won't play Flacs, Oggs or anything other than MP3, meaning I end up having to convert lossless files if I want them to be portable.

I guess all I'm saying is - it's kind of dickish to loftily proclaim that all digital users are "knuckleknobs" or have no taste.

Posted by: I Love Beets at May 5, 2009 2:38 PM

That's the kind of condescending, superior horseshit that pisses me off.

Joke, Beets, joke.

Posted by: Jay at May 5, 2009 2:43 PM

Oh. Sorry, it didn't read that way.

Regardless, iTunes sucks. Eat it, Apple.

Posted by: I Love Beets at May 5, 2009 2:52 PM

Pissboy and I share a birthday with John Rhys Davies who is most famous for his work as Gimli son of Gloin.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at May 5, 2009 2:54 PM

I am down with that.


And yes, my brow is permanently arched.

Posted by: Jay at May 5, 2009 2:55 PM

who is most famous for his work as Gimli son of Gloin.

Don't make me put my foot up yo' ass.

Posted by: Jay at May 5, 2009 3:01 PM

who is most famous for his work as Gimli son of Gloin.

..."Bad dates."

Posted by: I Love Beets at May 5, 2009 3:17 PM

I met him! very briefly, but he is VERY tall and seems kind of crazy. He tickled me. Literally.

Posted by: figgy at May 5, 2009 3:27 PM

*gestures toward Beets*

Posted by: Jay at May 5, 2009 3:42 PM

*tips cap*

Posted by: I Love Beets at May 5, 2009 3:48 PM

I didn't say the man never did anything else! I was just saying we share a birthday which is today! So lay off, ya wankers.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at May 5, 2009 3:59 PM

If I could laugh like him I would.

Posted by: Jay at May 5, 2009 4:02 PM

Because I am a shameless attention-whore:

http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2301/119/46/55600345/n55600345_30818367_6477.jpg

I can never show that off enough.

Posted by: figgy at May 5, 2009 4:18 PM

Happy Day Piss Boy!!! Hope you're having fun!

Posted by: replica at May 7, 2009 12:21 AM