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Twilight: Breaking Dawn — Part 2 Is to Film As Its Posters Are to Poster Art

By Courtney Enlow | Trade News | July 17, 2012 | Comments ()


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This Ashley Greene person is like an even less relevant Jessica Alba, so I have no thought or care for her. But what I really want to know is why, WHY, these movies want so badly to make everyone in them look so goddamn hideous, and this chick's hair throughout the series is a prime example of the heinousness. Jesus hairgod. Is it part of the books? Is Alice supposed to be a psychic whose powers are only as strong as her hair is stupid?

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Let's just stop this right now. Peter Facinelli is a perfectly attractive individual. Not attractive enough to think his star has risen high enough to warrant shitcanning Jennie Garth, but attractive. But the dynamic duo of inept poster designers and hair and makeup disaster team have turned him into an albino Zoolander ferret down to the beady eyes and lips of blue steel.

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Maggie Grace is actually the recipient of the best poster, which is sad, because she looks like she's so constipated that everything inside of her has fossilized.

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If you've seen Sweet Land, you know that Elizabeth Reaser is lovely. She is not, in fact, Robert Z'Dar.

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Bon Iver, I love your work.

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I don't know who this is, but I think I've figured out where her storyline goes.

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Nope. No. I can't anymore. By the way, this is Cael from "The Riches" and not a demonic vent figure. He should sue everyone.

(Source: The Berry)



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