True Blood Season Two Promo

The C**ksucking Bloodsuckers Are About to Return

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (26)

It’s been awhile now season one of HBO’s “True Blood” ended. Y’all remember what a infinitely watchable shitballs ridiculous show that was? Easy to watch. Impossible to enjoy. What a shitshow it was — possibly the worst collection of Southern accents ever put on display, but who could listen? Everybody just kept fucking, and went on watching. Vampire sex is hard to resist.

Anyway, season two is heading our way now. It starts in mid-June, and the promos are starting to roll out. The latest has the vocal stylings of Bob Dylan and a lot of titillating blood. I’ve been considering canceling my HBO subscription every since “Big Love” went off the air, and the debut of “True Blood” may be the impetus that finally prompts me to do so. Not because I won’t watch it, but because I will. And then I’ll hate myself afterward. And it’s only a matter of time before brother and sister vampirefuck.

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Comments

Dustin, stop scaring me. I know Big Love ended it's season a couple of months ago, but it's not over forever, is it?

And why does Anna Paquin look to be about 43 years old in that picture?

Posted by: Kolby at May 4, 2009 10:28 AM

God damn. When the hell are vampires going to stop with this touchy feely emotional bullshit, and fucking kill things again?

Posted by: George at May 4, 2009 10:32 AM

I can't wait for this to return. Anna Paquin may be the second worst actress on television (see Eliza Dushku for numero uno), but the rest of the cast is damned good. The show is fun, campy, sexy and intriguing. All vampires don't belong in the same category as that Twilight crap.

Posted by: Cindy at May 4, 2009 10:43 AM

R-rated buffy.....it is fun!!

Posted by: pasadenamike at May 4, 2009 10:52 AM

"And why does Anna Paquin look to be about 43 years old in that picture?

Posted by: Kolby"

Ummm, so I don't feel like such a dirty old man lusting after a woman who was 2 years old when I graduated from high school?

Posted by: Groundloop at May 4, 2009 10:55 AM

I'm about to finish the last book of the Sookie Stackhouse series. I read FOUR of them on vacation last week. They're so easily gobbled up. They're gobblerable.

Stupid show, full of pretty naked people and balls out ridiculousness. I LOVE TO HATE YOU!!

Posted by: Julie at May 4, 2009 10:56 AM

Anna Paquin may be the second worst actress on television (see Eliza Dushku for numero uno)

Sad but true. At least Dushku doesn't get raves for her crappy performances, though.

The trailer, unsurprisingly, looks pretty dumb. But I've heard Evan Rachel Wood is going to show up for a couple of episodes, as an ancient, apparently bisexual vampire, so for me, resistance is futile.

Posted by: Todd at May 4, 2009 11:12 AM

This show is shitballs, but it's intentionally shitballs and plays it for fun. Except for Paquin -- she's just plain old shitballs. But in the context of the show, it actually works. And then there's LOTS of nekkidness.

Posted by: jimbob at May 4, 2009 12:19 PM

Julie, you are aware the next one comes out tomorrow, right?

In the box office thread I mentioned that I hate myself and it feels so good- the Sookie Stackhouse universe really epitomizes that for me. I read that shit despite the fact that the character backstories don't always match up from book to book (one character went from a werelynx to a werefox) and the editing is nonexistent, but it's like freaking crack.

So naturally I had to look up True Blood online since I don't have HBO, it was like going from crack to a mountain of cocaine. Seriously, it's awefultastic. Anna Paquin is just the most obnoxious example of a southern girl, but it gets it's shit done. Also, Alexander Skarsgaard makes a fantastic Eric and many of the other men on there are total hotties. I do wonder though how far away from the books' storyline it's going to stray. I care because I'm intrigued to find out if it's going to be the crazy I know and love or a whole new kind of crazy sent to wham bam me and not call in the morning. It'll be fun for a moment anyway.

Posted by: Kayanne at May 4, 2009 12:32 PM

Hot, I'm there.

Posted by: Mebe at May 4, 2009 12:40 PM

Yeah, I didn't want to like this show. And now I can't help but be a little excited about its return. Damn.

Posted by: Sharon at May 4, 2009 12:54 PM

I had no idea Kayanne!! God damn it, I'm so filled with self loathing.

There are were-panthers for fuck's sake. And yet I still read on.

Posted by: Julie at May 4, 2009 12:57 PM

Kolby - I, too, am concerned when I see such things written about Big Love, and this is Rowles' second such comment recently. I would like just a wee bit of assurance that all things are good to go with that show. If Dustin is such a fan himself, surely he'd be happy to oblige?

Posted by: kalafraja at May 4, 2009 12:57 PM

There are were-panthers for fuck's sake.

Ahem, I think you mean borderline incestuous werepanthers. Between that and the crazy sexy love interests and murders and plots to overthrow shit... Oh my godtopus it is glorious. Much like ice cream cake, because I hate myself afterwards.

I'm buying it tomorrow, though. I'll let you know how it goes.

Posted by: Kayanne at May 4, 2009 1:04 PM

Skweeee! The premiere date has been duly noted on my calendar now for some time. Love, love, love this show and wish some of the fan-mom's who think Twilight is something would bother to watch True Blood.

Posted by: luvtheshoes at May 4, 2009 1:15 PM

borderline incestuous werepanthers?????

How the hell have I missed this? Apparently I live under a rock. I can't get behind sparkly vampires, but incestuous werepanthers? That's awesome.

Posted by: Lee at May 4, 2009 1:52 PM

Lee, I must warn you, the Stackhouse novels are like crack... And the incestuous-ish werepanthers don't come up until a few books in. Also, unlike that ridiculous Young Adult fiction I refuse to speak of, there's actual sex. And weirdly enough, there's a small vein (ha!) throughout the series that talks about the addictive nature of vampire sex.

I can't get over the fact that the books still haven't made one erection as rigor-mortis joke... yet. If you can't bang the undead without making ridiculous puns about it, what's the point?

Posted by: Kayanne at May 4, 2009 2:10 PM

Wheeeee ! I can't wait for the trashy return of Vampires Who Fuck. I love this show. Love it. It's awful, just horrible, but there's something about the Jerry Springer types fucking and drinking blood and killing each other that's just irresistible. I can't wait.

Posted by: figgy at May 4, 2009 2:35 PM

I have yet to see True Blood yet, but I have to ask Kayanne and Julie, is Charlaine Harris in on the joke? Sometimes I feel like she is-totally fucking ridiculous Queen of New Orleans who isn't even IN Club Dead, but is totally feared, werehawks, goblins named Hob, etc., etc., etc. But then she'll describe Sookie's wardrobe and it's like reading Ann M. Martin talking about what Stacy and Claudia are wearing at this meeting of the BSC, and I can't help feel like she's just out of touch and really lucky. Thoughts?

Posted by: Christina at May 4, 2009 6:49 PM

RE: Holy Shit, the wardrobe stuff

Christina her descriptions of "sexy" clothes and "cool" attire is just ridiculous. It's kind of like if my grandma were to pick out clothes she thinks is appropriate for a young southern woman. Who wears stockings any more?

*sigh*

Posted by: Kayanne at May 4, 2009 8:00 PM

Ha Christina that comment about the clothes made me laugh so hard, cuz it's so true, and then I broke down and bought the 5th book for my kindle, even though I said I wasn't going to keep reading those books anymore.

I'm kinda now hoping for a TrueBlood/BSC cross-over book. One of the BSC would develop an addiction to vampire blood and a Very Special Lesson would be learned, of course.

Posted by: messyhead at May 5, 2009 2:30 AM

Sigh, I bet u Canadians don't get to see it till September.

Posted by: carrie at May 5, 2009 12:47 PM

I just bought a 7 book set. I fully expect my brain to be rotted out by the end of summer.

Posted by: Lee at May 6, 2009 9:04 AM

Seriously, I love this show. Stephen Moyer is hot & Alex S. is nothing to complain about. It amazes me that Alan Ball was able to make such a fantastic show out of such ridiculously written books. Can't wait for season 2.

Posted by: aemac at May 6, 2009 12:43 PM

I personal love this show more,Than the Slutty Stackhouse Series. Allan Ball has brought more enjoyment to the books than CH ever did....

Posted by: Luvsbill at May 6, 2009 12:44 PM

The books IMO are NOTHING compared to the show. Crack is an understatement, someone just tap a vein and Stephen Moyer (Bill) can drain me.

I am southern and do not mind the accents at all. Something as trivial as an accent can be over looked with such brilliant writing. Anna Paquin is a natural beauty and being that it was their first season; I commend all of them for keeping me at the edge of my seat (with the exception of epi. 11).

I am a HUGE fan of this show and it only promises to get better. As for how far they will stray from the book, one can only pray as far away as possible.

Alan Ball, you are a genius!

Posted by: Tincar at May 6, 2009 1:38 PM

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The C**ksucking Bloodsuckers Are About to Return

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