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Pirates, That's Original

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (20)



pirates.jpg

Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic novel Treasure Island has been made and remade over fifty times for television or movies. Really, with that track record it would be more newsworthy to announce that a film based on it wasn’t in the works. But naturally, given the utter dearth of successful pirate related films over the last decade, Hollywood is aiming to remake it again. Because the fifty-third time will be the charm.

Of course, they’ve figured out the missing ingredient: “[Long John] Silver’s character will be hipper, in the style of Robert Downey Jr’s interpretation of Sherlock Holmes.” So the charismatic pirate who keeps switching sides, all the while mentoring the young protagonist in the ways of piracy will be hip? I wonder if that’s code for acting like Keith Richards.

An interesting literary thought experiment is identifying authors so influential that if every copy of their work disappeared from the face of the earth, their literary contributions would remain essentially intact because their innovations and ideas are reflected a hundred times over in other lesser works. Shakespeare’s the classic example. Get rid of Hamlet and the story has still been told and retold over and over. The characters are never quite the same, the language never quite as eloquent, specific plot points evolve over time, but the essence of the tale is embedded in our literary culture so thoroughly that the loss of the original at this point would leave behind a perfect impression like a fossilized shell immortalized in limestone.

The point is that Treasure Island is exactly this sort of work. It invented or at least popularized half the cliches we now associate with the pirate genre: peg legs, skull & bones, parrots, “X” marking the spot on treasure maps. It’s a wonderful book, one of those that every kid should get lost in at some point, but in a larger cultural sense it has been rendered ex post facto into a bundle of cliches by a hundred imitations going through the motions. The answer isn’t to make Treasure Island hip, it’s to understand that it’s already been made under different names. There’s no need to film Long John Silver in the mold of Jack Sparrow because Jack already is bound inextricably to the notion of Silver, the latest mask fitted to the old bones of the myth.

(source: Variety)









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Comments

THE BLACK SPOT!


I just like saying that.

Posted by: Jay at February 17, 2010 11:28 AM

The answer isn’t to make Treasure Island hip, it’s to understand that it’s already been made under different names.

Once again SLW cuts through metric tons of bullshit to point out the reality. Thank you.

Posted by: Jerce at February 17, 2010 11:32 AM

A hip Treasure Island? You mean, like, in space? That would be hip. And innovative, like, animation? Ooh! And with an on-the-rise young actor to voice the lead, like, Joseph Gordon Levitt? Oh, so a remake of Treasure Planet then? No thanks, it's fine as it is.

Posted by: ThunderSacTriumph at February 17, 2010 11:36 AM

They already made a hip Treasure Island and it starred THE MUPPETS AND TIM CURRY. Nuff said.

Posted by: BWeaves at February 17, 2010 11:43 AM

I would really love to see Tim Curry take on Long John Silver again.
Muppet Treasure Island is really just that amazing.

Posted by: gee. ay. at February 17, 2010 11:44 AM

Yes BWeaves!
Nuff said indeed.

Posted by: gee. ay. at February 17, 2010 11:49 AM

I'm not so adverse to the idea of a hip Long John Silver. I'm just not sure who you would find that can actually wear the skinny jeans. Pete Wentz?

Posted by: admin at February 17, 2010 11:50 AM

Is it too much to ask for a realistic pirate film?

You know, one where they brutally murder people, burn ships to the...water, rape, pillage, etc.

Why does everyone want to make pirates look happy or just plain funny?

Show me the starving pirates dying of disease who kill just because they like to.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at February 17, 2010 11:52 AM

Long John with Blue Pirates??

Posted by: Magiel at February 17, 2010 11:58 AM

The answer to classic literature inspired films is always Muppets. Just re-release Muppet Treasure Island and the world will be a better place. Or remake it. Or reboot it. Or brainwash America into forgetting it existed and release it to critical acclaim and 10 Oscar nominations. Whatever works.

Posted by: Robert at February 17, 2010 12:00 PM

Do you really want to know what makes Treasure Island the trendsetter with known pirate cliche?

Robert Newton.

Who?

Newton played Long John Silver in Disney's version of Treasure Island. He also did a sequel and television series both named "Long John Silver" but without Disney's endorsement.

Watching Newton's portrayal of Silver shows that he set the benchmark for how ALL pirates were to be portrayed afterward. That's right. All of them. No matter what pirate movie, cartoon or TV show you've seen after that, whether they intentionally meant to or not, there is a pale imitation of Newton's Silver within. He's become part of required pirate lore. And any effort to ignore this part of what is now accepted as gospel to the genre makes its presentation seem incomplete.

So yes, while Stevenson's writing of pirate lore helped create and define the pirate genre, Newton's portrayal of it is what sticks out in our collective mind's eye.

And while we're on the subject, Long John Silver doesn't need to be made "hip" (and damn anyone for thinking as such) he's already a badass. He's a friggin' pirate! I mean the guy's missing a leg and still holds leadership of Flint's cutthroats- because they both fear and respect him. Not only can he cut a bitch without breaking a sweat, not only can he shoot you without looking, but if all else fails- HE WILL KILL YOU WITH HIS CRUTCH! He's done it. Read the book. If he's this tough with one leg, he'd be Hell incarnate with both of 'em. Plus, despite the fact that he's not the nicest guy in the world, he's one of those charming villains you have to like. When he makes his escape with a little gold and his parrot, even the protagonists-despite all the misery he helped bring aboard, wish him well. DON'T FUCK WITH LONG JOHN SILVER! If you have to change the essence of this character in order to make it work- you are incompetent.

Posted by: bleujayone at February 17, 2010 12:31 PM

Oh, man when I was kid we loved the version with Christian Bale and Charlton Heston. I kind of want to watch that again.

Posted by: Jeni at February 17, 2010 12:59 PM

Long John Mayer. Boom. Box Office gold.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 17, 2010 1:09 PM

I have been writing this screen play for four months. Described exactly as above, with a cooler more bad ass long john and ultimately a darker, more violent film than previous adaptations.

Literally, I'm a third of the way through.

Treasure Island is one of the major aspects of my childhood and I KNEW it would sell because of the pirate trend currently gripping hollywood. I would have been finished by June.

It will no go into my recycle bin and I will never have any dreams or aspirations based on pinnical aspects of my childhood, ever again.

Thanks, Hollywood


*slinks off to quietly cry*

Posted by: Nadine at February 17, 2010 1:34 PM

I grew up on the Russian version. It included musical interludes. It wasn't a musical, exactly, in that nobody spontaneously burst into song mid-scene. It was more like, important scenes would periodically cut to a music video recap of their content.

You just haven't lived 'til you've seen pirates dancing around an empty sound stage with Black Spots going BLACK BLACK BLACK SPOOOOOT. Well, in Russian.

I HAVE ALL THE HIP LONG JOHN SILVER I NEED.

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at February 17, 2010 2:04 PM

Awwwww Nadine. I had the same thing happen to me only with Deadgirl. Now my screenplay wasn't like that but I was pretty sure I was going to be the first person to have zombie rape.

I haven't thrown that screenplay away yet, because it was a zombie movie first and foremost and I haven't seen anything like it yet.

Never give up...Never surrender.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at February 17, 2010 2:13 PM

Deist, it happened to be before, with Dead Set, the Big Brother based zombie film.


I'm fairly certain someone in my circle....is a robit.

Posted by: Nadine at February 17, 2010 2:28 PM

IMDB has that listed as a TV series. Either way...BALLS!

I'd still written my screenplay before that. I'ma say that I'm an original.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at February 17, 2010 2:35 PM

Aye, me too!! I'd written them and was just perfecting them!!

It's getting silly now, just plain silly!

Posted by: Nadine at February 17, 2010 2:42 PM

I read this article and was all ready to type up my Muppet Treasure Island reference only to find that at least FOUR Pajibans beat me to the punch.

The next troll around here to accuse us of hivemind may actually have a point. Shit.

Posted by: welldressed at February 17, 2010 5:13 PM


















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