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Nothing More Dangerous Than a Woman With an Ass-Katana

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (20)

robogeisha-still11.jpg

Sometimes I think I could fill my days doing nothing but watching trailers for crazy Japanese movies. Sure, the Netherlands has their Human Centipedes and Denmark has Lars Von Trier and mutilating masturbation, and the U.S. has Bride Wars. But that is but a drop in the bucket compared to the full on, monkey-shittingly insane movies that come out of that kooky little island.

A couple of weeks ago, we posted the trailer for Big Tits Zombie in 3D, a brain-licker of a flick that, while short on the tits, was in no way short on the zombies. Now, we have yet another batshit, wackadoo crazypants trailer, this time for Robo-Geisha. It’s directed by Noboru Iguchi, who has a resume littered with similarly nutso titles — if I had to choose, my top choices would be Shyness Machine Girl, Doctor’s Enema, and my personal fave — Entrails of a Larva (aka Evil Guy).

If you gave me endless amounts of liquor and hallucinogens, I could not make this shit up.

Anyway. Enough bullshit. Here’s the trailer for Robo-Geisha, in all it’s gloriously glorious glory:

(in case you couldn’t figure it out, this is not particularly safe for work)


Could have done without the bleeding butthole shot.

(Source: ONEMETAL)









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Comments

What the what??!?!

Posted by: Nimue at May 6, 2010 10:47 AM

Wow, the trailer guy has a creepy voice.

Posted by: Al Borland's Beard at May 6, 2010 10:48 AM

Holy shit, too much. The milk squirting! the buildings erupting with blood! the voiceover guy (who's probably having a stroke)! the geisha transforming into a truck. I have to see this.

Posted by: Steph at May 6, 2010 10:54 AM

Fried Shrimp!

I must have it!

Posted by: admin at May 6, 2010 11:00 AM

One time, a good friend of mine recommended a "cheesy weird Japanese movie" called Attack Girls Swim Team vs. the Undead. He said it was weird but kinda cool and burned me a copy.

IT WAS REALLY WEIRD PSEUDO-SOFTCORE PORN, GUYS. (It's softcore if you don't directly see genitalia, just the humping and moaning and boobies, right?) Later on I would find out that he hadn't watched it either, and was going on the recommendation of a friend who HADN'T WATCHED IT EITHER but got it bundled with ANOTHER weird Japanese movie that WAS just weird and B-grade and funny (Oneechanbara, which the gamers among you may recognize as an equally ridiculous video game). I later invited both of them over and sat them down and made them watch it while I glared at them. There was a lot of laughing and some insincere apologies and... more laughing. And gasping.

IT WAS SO HORRIBLE. Pavlovian rape flutes and secret evil(er) twins and LED gloves and lesbian incest sex and zombies and chainsaws and juggling zombies and soup and... it was AWFUL. And yet... ultimately kind of hilarious. If you ffwd through the softcore parts, and especially the really uncomfortable rapey parts (they're so absurd that they're not PAINFUL to watch, unless of course it's a trigger for you, but it's as though you're watching a friend act out their rape fantasy - you know they're ultimately consenting, but it's SO AWKWARD) it actually is just a bizarre and kind of funny B-movie.

The ending is epic though. One of the most amazing endings I have ever seen. Enough to make M. Night Shyamalan weep.

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at May 6, 2010 11:22 AM

Didn't you post this already?

Posted by: FabMax at May 6, 2010 11:38 AM

Furthermore: I might be mistaken, but isn't the trailer music some horribly butchered version of LIve and Let Die?

Posted by: FabMax at May 6, 2010 11:38 AM

This trailer is the cause of my getting a "B" on my Aristotle paper last semester. That should have been an awesome paper. I had a killer thesis, I had evidence, and I had the time to write it. But then a friend showed me RoboGeisha, and suddenly 5 hours had gone by and I was left with like 4 to write the paper. Anyway, I will not be watching the above video; I know that if I do nothing will get accomplished until after dinner.

Posted by: esme at May 6, 2010 11:54 AM

Fried Shrimp. Geisha Transform.... Tengu Milk?

FabMax, I think you're right (on the second point).

Posted by: Brenton at May 6, 2010 12:19 PM

Yes, I do believe this has been posted here already. However, posting this every day could only make Pajiba more awesome than it already is.

Posted by: logar at May 6, 2010 12:31 PM

Hey, the girl was wearing underwear! You can't definitively say that it was coming from her butthole. You know what I think it is?
TURBO MENSES!

Posted by: Jim Doggie at May 6, 2010 12:33 PM

It was like they compiled all the bad ideas they could come up with and, Voila! I want to say the acid-milk and the bleeding b-hole were just unnecessary, but then it was all pretty unnecessary.

Posted by: Ral at May 6, 2010 12:34 PM

LOVE THE MUSIC in the trailer

Posted by: MadClawMann at May 6, 2010 12:55 PM

I started laughing at "Geisha is bootiful" and didn't stop until the end of the trailer...what the fuck...these movies actually make money? I only got about twenty minutes into Tokyo Gore Police before I stopped watching. That movie was fucking retarded.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at May 6, 2010 2:01 PM

Pajiba's Greatest Hits!

I guess by now you've probably figured out that this trailer was posted in July 2009 by Dustin, but just in case.

I still feel this strained and guttural Engrish voiceover style should be used for a Human Centipede Trailer:


"CENTIPEDE IS...HUMANS"

"SIAMESE TWIN...DOCTOR"

"ASS...BANDAGES"

"KNEECAP REMOVAL"

"TOSSED...SALAD!"

Posted by: laredo at May 6, 2010 3:42 PM

A trailer for this movie is always worth watching. A couple friends and I have been incorporating that Robo-Geisha trailer voice into our banter for it seems like almost a year now. When am I going to finally get to see this movie?!?

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 6, 2010 3:57 PM

I remember when you first posted this video. It's awesome, in the totally awesome way that Japanese videos can only be. FRIED SHRIMP! I have showed this to friends many times, the only question is why are you posting it again? Is the news so slow? Are we that dumb? This is old shit.

Posted by: dorkydragon at May 6, 2010 4:34 PM

"...that kooky little island."

Shouldn't that be "archipelago?"

Anyway, I squee'd at this trailer. I must see this completely shitballs-retarded movie!

Posted by: The Wanderer at May 6, 2010 6:04 PM

So, this is what fembots are like when you get the bad acid.

Want.

Do not want.

Want.

Do not want.

Oh, who am I kidding. Want. Hide the cutlery and crank up The Electric Mayhem, my face is already melting.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at May 6, 2010 7:09 PM

“We went into a Shiro Robot to inoculate the children. We left the Shiro Robot after we had inoculated the children for Fried Shrimp, and this old man came running after us, and he was crying. He couldn’t see. We went back there, and they had come and hacked off every Bust MachineGun. There they were in a pile. A pile of little Bust MachineGuns. And I thought: My Geisha Girl… the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than Tengu Milk. Because they could stand that these were not Samurai Robot. These were RoboGeisha.”

Posted by: RoboKurtz at May 7, 2010 12:22 AM