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I Don’t Care How Good This Documentary Is, I Won’t Ever Watch It

Just Can’t Do It / Seth Freilich

Trade News | October 8, 2008 | Comments (53)


Quite a few years back, some friends and I spent a few days in Madrid as a part of a wonderful European trip. And while we were in Madrid, we decided to catch a bullfight at the famous Plaza de Toros bullring. It was a very interesting experience, from the uncomfortable as fuck benches to how much folks get into it to the pure spectacle of it all. I’m glad we went, and I have a wonderful advertising print from that day’s fights framed on one of my walls. But given the opportunity, I would never go to a bullfight again.

First of all, the fights all end with a dead bull. And it’s one thing to know that. It’s another to see the bloody carcass being dragged out of the ring. Just gruesome, you know?

And on top of that, the whole thing isn’t even fucking sporting. It’d be one thing if it was just the matador and the bull, horn-a-mano. But it’s not. The bull is beat down, bled and weakened first, both by getting stabbed in the neck and by having several barbed rods stuck into its side. Only then does the matador come out to fuck with the bull and eventually stick his sword into the beast’s brain. Poor bulls don’t stand a chance.

And get this! So the night we went, there were three fights, with each later matador more experienced than the prior. So the last guy we see, he’s supposed to be a big cheese. Well he comes out and even though the bull is all bloody and weakened, the bull just fucking owns the matador. Within ten seconds, he flips the dude up in the air with his blunted horns, and the matador falls like a ragdoll, limp and unmoving. Some clowns distract the bull while the matador is dragged off the field (he wound up being ok). At this point, I’ve seen two bulls get killed, and I’m looking at this as setting the score at 1-2. And in my mind, you let this mother fucking bull, a fierce old gray monster of a bull, live out his days, right? Nope - five seconds later, a dude comes out on a horse and kills the fucker cold.

It’s not sporting and it’s just cruel. Now I’m not one to get on a high horse and judge other cultures and their traditions. But nevertheless, while this documentary The Matador looks like it could be interesting, I’ll be passing….


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Comments

It takes a special kind of closeted homo to run around in sequined tights and gang up on an animal and then call it "macho."

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 8, 2008 9:24 AM

I've never wanted to see a bullfight because of descriptions by people who have.

Must go sob now.

Posted by: Cindy at October 8, 2008 9:24 AM

Instead of completely outlawing it, PETA should push for a winner goes home clause. If you're the baddest bull muthafucka out there, you deserve a nice pasture and some fly cow honeys. Let him breed more awesome bulls, it'll be good for the sport until one of his kids doesn't want to be a matador-fighter and wants to go to a liberal arts college. That would be my movie.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 8, 2008 9:26 AM

Ugh. I thought bullfighting was bad enough when I was blissfully ignorant of the details. It's so much worse than I thought. And I'm not even watching that trailer, screw the movie.

Posted by: tamatha at October 8, 2008 9:35 AM

I'd like to be more up in arms about the cruel treatment of the bulls... but I eat steak, and those cows aren't exactly hugged to death.

Posted by: twig at October 8, 2008 9:39 AM

MORAL OUTRAGE!

Posted by: dylanj at October 8, 2008 9:43 AM

Do they get to eat the bulls after? I mean its not fair to the bulls but they sure are tastey.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 8, 2008 9:48 AM

Yeah... I'm not touching this one.

Posted by: Pants at October 8, 2008 9:51 AM

but I eat steak, and those cows aren't exactly hugged to death.

Yeah, but there's a bit of a difference between killing for food, and practically crippling an animal before killing it for 'sport.'

And this acknowledgement comes from a longtime vegetarian.

Posted by: Gabs at October 8, 2008 9:59 AM

I would prefer to see Optimus' version. Thank you.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 8, 2008 10:06 AM

Yeah, but there's a bit of a difference between killing for food

A bit, but I've seen some of those slaughterhouse videos, and that isn't exactly humane killing. If anything, I think supporting the whole factory farm mentality makes me way more of a bastard per capita than if I actually was a matador myself.

Posted by: twig at October 8, 2008 10:09 AM

It would be a lot cooler if after the matador killed the bull, Anton Chiguhr came out and used that air hammer thing to kill the matador.

I'd pay to see that.

Posted by: bucdaddy at October 8, 2008 10:19 AM

Now I'm not one to get on a high horse and judge other cultures and their traditions.

Funny, I'm exactly that kind of person. Fuck these assholes and their savage cruelty to animals.

Posted by: Todd at October 8, 2008 10:20 AM

Cruel and barbaric as bullfighting may seem, I'd still rank it higher on the scale of "is it a sport?" than hunting. In hunting, it's a man, with a gun, hiding in the bushes, shooting at an unarmed animal, that doesn't even know it's being shot at. In bullfighting, the bull is generally aware there's some sort of a fight on, and at least occasionally delivers a good goring to the matador. I always root for the Bulls (not easy for a kid who grew up in Wisconsin).

Posted by: hendero at October 8, 2008 10:31 AM

On the one hand, bullfighting is a fascinating leftover from Roman era spectacle (it's essentially the last vestige of Gladiatorial competition - the difference being it's a bull and not a slave this time around).

On the other hand, it's fucking stomach-churning, frightening, and cruel.

That said, I am with twig in that I eat meat (though I try to keep it humanely and locally raised), and the current American factory farm food-supply system involves animals subjected to lifetimes of torture in horrifying conditions just to put a burger on a plate - which to me, is far worse than one day of horrors for a bull in the ring. So I suppose I don't have much ground to stand on in judging the Spanish tradition.

It's all relative. The film might be fascinating (even if it makes a vegetarian out of me).

Posted by: Tammy at October 8, 2008 10:47 AM

Hendero, one big diff is that hunting (for the most part) can be justified as the most humane method available of large-scale population control. For instance, deer have no natural predators left, and if we didn't cull them significantly each year, vast numbers would painfully starve to death. And the goal is a quick, one-shot kill, not a slow, stabby provocation.

Not to say there aren't some blood-lusty guntards out there, but comparing licensed hunting to bull-fighting is apples and Buicks.

Posted by: firedmyass at October 8, 2008 10:55 AM

Fired,

I'll buy your humaneness point, mine was just that hunting is in no sense a sport. The weekend warriors in their camouflaged parkas may be doing a service to the wild animal community by killing some of it, but sportsmen they ain't.

Posted by: hendero at October 8, 2008 11:16 AM

The weekend warriors in their camouflaged parkas may be doing a service to the wild animal community by killing some of it

Someone told me of a study somewhere that factored in all the equipment, beer, gas, beer, etc. for hunting and the average weekend hunter spent upwards of 700$ for a deer - if they ever even got one.

Not to say that there aren't some very proficient hunters out there who can make a lifestyle of it, but I know some people who use 'hunting' as 'excuse to sit around, enjoy nature, drink.'

Also, see: 'fishing.'

Posted by: twig at October 8, 2008 11:39 AM

Hola,

Weeeell, first thing: I'm spanish (from Spain, Europe)and I've NEVER, NEVER,EVER been into a Bullfight (corrida). Why? because I know this: "First of all, the fights all end with a dead bull".Dude? hello? Did you need to go to a corrida to realized about that? Sorry, but you should read before goin'to "support" this brutal killing (yes, you paid for it, you support it) and turist should stop thinking that Spain is just corridas and toreros.

By the way, Im from Barcelona (and I know nothing! Wink!) and proud to say that my city is "free bullfighting city"-

Saludos and sorry for my english.

Posted by: espaƱola at October 8, 2008 12:02 PM

deer have no natural predators left

Remember: don't fuck up your wolf population. Ecosystem is their job.

Posted by: Jay at October 8, 2008 12:04 PM

As others have said, I eat meat and that is a cruel industry (and I hate supporting it but can't seem to give up meat), but maybe it's the in-your-face horror of bull fighting that makes it even sadder. The bull is tortured, confused, and humiliated, simply for entertainment. And it's not even a fair fight.

Posted by: lucy at October 8, 2008 12:17 PM

Oh, and espanola, I promise you I never think of bullfighting when I think of Spain. I think of delicious food like paella and gazpacho, and wine, and dancing, and little cafes open late at night. Barcelona is one of my favorite cities!

Posted by: lucy at October 8, 2008 12:24 PM

For those not reflexively repulsed by the notion of hunting, there are responsible and influential hunters' groups out there. Population thinning is legitimate, though in part made necessary in the first place by human encroachment. I also think there's a moral imperative to eat what you kill, or else donate the meat.

Posted by: sansho1 at October 8, 2008 12:34 PM

I have been to a bullfight too - just one, to see it myself.

That kind of shit is an excellent example of a morally corrupt species that won't even allow for the possibility of failure. Entitlement will be the death of us.

This so-called sport is no longer anything resembling sport (if it ever was) and is essentially animal-murder-for-kicks. There's no art or glory in it at all and I highly recommend that you DON'T go to one (like I did, stupidly) and just let the idea die out.

Posted by: replica at October 8, 2008 12:35 PM

The only kind of bull-related "combat" I'm willing to see is in Northern Spain where the dudes in tights just do acrobatics, jumping over the bull and showing off. No knives, swords, blades, or nothing, just a good workout for all involved. I'm a meatitarian and I regret that there's some measure of cruelty in my food production but it's generally not prolonged and it's not for entertainment. If you're going to fight a bull, don't start with its horns blunted and it being pre-wounded. Man up, have only one dagger, and try circumcise it - that's a fight I'd be happy to see the winner survive. What's the "sport" in an unfair fight? And what's so fucking great about men in tights showing how great they are in slowly killing an animal? Isn't that kind of cruelty generally a precursor to psychopathic behaviour? I know that cultures often enshrine various unspeakable/inexplicable acts as part of their heritage to be embraced - shouldn't we be able to get past that by now? Bullfights, stoning women, honour killings, invading countries illegally for no good reason, foot binding, genital mutilation, demonising people or beliefs opposed to your own...what the fuck is wrong with us???

Meaux, has your bartender training extended to a friendly ear and encouraging word? I'll be in the MurderLounge later today and I think I'm gonna be snarly - you got anything for that?

Posted by: lordhelmet at October 8, 2008 1:12 PM

"The weekend warriors in their camouflaged parkas may be doing a service to the wild animal community by killing some of it, but sportsmen they ain't. "

I'm not normally one to take exception to statements like this, but you (hendero) make it sound like deer hunting is the easiest thing on planet Earth and that the poor animals don't stand a chance. Not so.

I know that in my home state (Oklahoma) the percentage of animals killed to tags sold is only something like 40%, which means that there are far fewer successful hunters than those that spend the entire season without killing anything. There's a hell of a lot more to it than just rolling out of a monster truck with a gun in one hand and a beer in the other and blasting away at the poor defenseless creature standing there dumbfounded while its offspring weep.

Posted by: Mattfactor at October 8, 2008 1:16 PM

*weeps. Dammit.

Posted by: Mattfactor at October 8, 2008 1:20 PM

El Odio would set those dang Spaniards straight. There's nothing more intimidating than a giant pink bull in a world of black velvet.

Posted by: Lucas at October 8, 2008 1:42 PM

Ah, Barcelona.
I almost got arrested there. Good times.

We went to a corrida, and my traumatized younger sister had to be escorted out after like 5 minutes.

It was the most boring spectacle of needless animal cruelty I've ever seen.

I'd pay good money to see one man, one bull enter, and see who leaves. None of that pansy ass toreadores with their pointy barbs and leaving a half-dead animal to face the great matador.

Posted by: Stella at October 8, 2008 1:43 PM

Lucas, was that a Psychonauts reference?!

I bow to you, sir.

Posted by: twig at October 8, 2008 1:58 PM

I'm with STEEELLLAAA! - If you're gonna act like you's in the house to deliver a proper ass-whuppin, you'd best be fighting a foe who's running on a tank fulla gas.

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at October 8, 2008 2:06 PM

I read somewhere that back in the day they would slice off the ears and present them to ladies in the audience as a token of chivalry or some crap. Like the knights used to do with their scarves. Why the hell do I want some guy to give me an ear to say he has the hots for me?

Posted by: scorzi at October 8, 2008 2:51 PM

My wife and I went to a bullfight in Cancun a couple of years ago. It was very entertaining up until the actual bullfight. Especially when they let drunk Americans into the ring with the young bulls. My impression at the end was that its a pretty stupid way to kill a cow.

Posted by: Dan at October 8, 2008 2:54 PM

Why the hell do I want some guy to give me an ear to say he has the hots for me?

That never works, does it.

Posted by: Jay at October 8, 2008 2:54 PM

I don't hunt, and I don't eat red meat much anymore.

Still, I'll point out that hunting provides a big part of the local economy for some rural places. All that beer adds up.

Also, firedmyass is right about controlling animal populations. Big predators (bears, cats, wolves) used to do that, until we hunted all of them to near extinction. Now deer are a huge problem even in some urban areas. Ask anyone who runs an auto body shop.

Posted by: bucdaddy at October 8, 2008 4:00 PM

Anyone else notice the Threatdown on Colbert last night featuring bulls with guns?

Posted by: lordhelmet at October 8, 2008 4:26 PM

Hee! Helmet, are bulls the new godless killing machines?

Posted by: Julie at October 8, 2008 4:31 PM

Ah, but you should see the corridas in Costa Rica. They take place every December. A dozen of guys go inside the ring, with one huge, raging-mad bull, and the idea is to touch the bull and not die trying. Anyone can take a shot at it, as long as they are over 18 year-old and not (too) drunk. Every now and then some poor idiot gets caught, but usually the bull is distracted by the others jumping around to actually finish-off the dude (although, sadly, it has been known to happen). After a while, the bull is proudly escorted out and a new, fresher, madder bull is turned loose. It's a hoot, really.

Posted by: Cuca at October 8, 2008 4:33 PM

Cuca, that's a show I'd pay to see! How do they piss off the bull to start with though? Somebody pull its tail?

Jules, my sources say "yes."

Posted by: lordhelmet at October 8, 2008 4:43 PM

I remember watching televised bullfights with my dad when I was very young and living in the Bay Area. I've never been able to get that picture out of my head. I'll not be seeing this one.

Posted by: MissNev at October 8, 2008 4:50 PM

I'm really quite torn about the subject of bullfighting. I once attended a bullfight when I was going to school in Spain and was absolutely horrified! There were three matadores and each of them fought two bulls, which meant that I saw six bulls getting killed that evening. It was gruesome. Everything that Seth wrote above was spot on.

On the other hand, I totally agree with twig's point: our meat industry commits much greater evils. And the Spanish bulls have a lovely well-cared for life of at least four years before they enter the ring. Yes, it would seem quite fair to free a bull that is lucky enough to gore the matador, but I'm not sure if the the prior damage to the bull (barbs in its neck to weaken the muscles, for example) would allow it to have any quality of life, so perhaps they have to kill it.

As for the sportsmanship of it all... I would argue that bullfighting isn't a sport -- it's a performance art. It's all about the unflinching grace, the style of the performance. And everything up to that point (the picadores, the banderillas in the neck) is to craft the components of the act so that they culminate in the ultimate show. Does that make it right? I can't say. All I know is that I'll never see another one again.

Posted by: kuzum at October 8, 2008 5:42 PM

Remember: don't fuck up your wolf population. Ecosystem is their job.

One doesn't need to. I was reading an article about how predator populations don't do well when people intrude on their territory. Thus deer populations can run wild in places like Yosemite and put certain plant populations in danger because their natural predators won't come kill them due to fear of humans. Humans don't even have to kill them, just generally intruding on their space scares many natural predators off. Of course it doesn't help that people fucking kill mountain lions any chance they get.

Posted by: Devo at October 8, 2008 7:04 PM

Yeah, my freshman year in high school we went to Spain (7 days in Madrid, 4 in Barcelona) and I had absolutely no interest in watching the bull fight. It was an optional event, so me and all the granola vegetarian kids went out to lunch with this hot Spanish guy. Needless to say, all of the kids that were all "Awesome, bull fight!" "This is going to be awesome!" Left early, and many of the girls cried.

Last year in my senior Spanish class we did a whole lesson on bull fights, and really got to see how the whole thing worked. I believe they also cut off the tail and the ears and give them to the matador as a trophy. Nice, right?

Posted by: Erin S at October 8, 2008 7:52 PM

I'd have to argue in favor of hunting being a sport in most cases.

What makes sport? Physical endurance? Mental Stamina? Strategy? KNowledge of one's opponent? Timing? Aim? Coordination? Practice?

A good hunt requires all those things. You practice your aim at ranges to ensure the quickest and most painless kill, you track, you use calls and baits, you disguise yourself, you hide, you predict, you can hike for miles with a heavy rifle, then might end up having to hike back for the same distance dragging a 120 pound animal. Then think of bow hunting.

I honestly don't think most people know what real hunting is.

Sure, there are those who take the sport out of it, and you can certainly argue against that being a sport. But the essence of hunting? True Sport. Probably the first.

Posted by: Some Guy at October 8, 2008 10:14 PM

You can't miss the bear.

Posted by: Kash at October 8, 2008 10:29 PM

I'd only watch something like that, if it were followed by at least half an hour worth of bulls pwning matadors. Or at least they could give a sword to the bull, just like a matador has.

Posted by: JC at October 8, 2008 10:49 PM

I might be more receptive to this if a deer hadn't caused $1700 worth of damage to my fucking stopped at a red light car 9 days ago. For the first time in my life I wished I was a redneck so I could kill that fucker. What kind of dumbass animal rams stopped car?

Anyway, yeah, it's fucking horrible to kill, for no reason, an animal that will not become food. Still it's kind of stupid to not see the movie, it's like not seeing a movie about an abortionist because you're pro life, except worse because a bull's not now and will never be a person.

But if I find that asshole with my blue Toyota paint paint on her hooves and glass in her fur, I will punch it to death or until I get $1700 dollars out of it.

Posted by: Georgette at October 8, 2008 10:51 PM

JC, The bulls get even at Pamplona.

Posted by: bucdaddy at October 8, 2008 11:37 PM

Fuck this cultural bullshit (if you'll pardon the expression) if it's wrong it's wrong, it's cruelty disguised as a sport... it's ridiculous to give a barbaric practice a pass based on some ridiculous notion of "preserving cultural traditions'... we, as societies, evolve, in thought and in practice. Some traditions have value and are worth preserving whilst others tend to be discarded over time... and this is one practice that firmly belongs in the bin.

Oh and fuck PETA... bunch of crazies

Posted by: Colombo at October 9, 2008 2:32 AM

Humanity is a bunch of sadistic carnivores
hopefully we'll get the message someday

Posted by: tinman at October 9, 2008 2:52 PM

i witnessed my first bullfight this summer in spain, and while i'll never go see another one i thought it was quite interesting. i will however correct one of the many false perceptions of the bullfight in that the bull isn't killed for nothing. All of the meat and the hide go to provide for the homeless of madrid. so it's not like its going to waste.

Posted by: jburton at October 9, 2008 7:52 PM

Regarding hunting as compensation for a predator/prey imbalance and as a kinder alternative to starvation: It's my understanding that "nature" culls the slow and weak, such as old and sick animals, while hunters seem to be looking for the biggest and healthiest. That gorgeous multi-point buck you're posing with is not the one the wolves would have gotten!

Posted by: Ann at October 10, 2008 12:13 AM

The bulls don't get even in Pamplona. They may get the occasional drunk tourist on the way to the ring, but they don't have a chance. All bulls die that very afternoon in the "corrida". The fact that the bull meat is sold to local bars and eaten that same evening and that it does not go to waste is not an excuse for the barbaric treatment these noble beasts receive before dying. I am from a little town outside of Pamplona and grew up in the culture. As a kid, I accepted bullfights as a fact of life. Time and space have made me understand the sadistic, cruel spectacle that bullfights really are. They should be outlawed. I suspect most younger Spaniards feel the way I do.

Posted by: Euzkadi65 at October 10, 2008 3:55 PM