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Bloody Stupid Yanks

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Trade News | January 19, 2010 |


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"Torchwood" had a bumpy but decent first couple of seasons before knocking it out of the park with its third season mini-series last summer (reviews are here, here and here). Naturally, Fox is developing an Americanized remake of "Torchwood."

I can't decide if I want to drown myself in a cask of whiskey or just vomit. Maybe both. Maybe alternate between the two for a few hours.

Even more baffling is that Russell Davies and his production team are in charge of the project, and it's even rumored that John Barrowman will star as Captain Jack Harkness. Oh, okay, so how exactly is this a remake? In 2010 they will shoot series 4 of "Torchwood" for the UK and then using the same cast and crew they're going to shoot a first season of an American remake? Here's a bright idea Fox: just broadcast the fucking fourth season of "Torchwood" stateside.

Oh but it needs Americanized, of course. British is practically another language altogether and their culture is entirely impenetrable to an American audience. Tea and crumpets, fish and chips, words like "bloody" and "shag."

And just to really make your day, Jane Tranter (a new VP at BBC world) is reportedly considering rebooting "Doctor Who" for American audiences. Great, instead of the blue police box, the Doctor will probably have a Ferrari with wings.

Eh, on second thought, why even bother popping an aneurysm? Even if either gets a series order, Fox will just air the episodes out of order and cancel the show after a dozen episodes anyway. Fucking Yanks.

(source THR)


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