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Nerdgasm

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (45)

bronsonfilm_450x300.jpg

Oh, Christopher Nolan. You do know how to make the geeks happy.

Easily the most anticipated comic book movies… nay, movies, period, is Nolan’s Batman 3, which I’m assuming will not have a title as bland as Batman 3. We know the bulk of the players from the last film will return — Christian Bale will don the cape and the cowl once again, Gary Oldman will continue to fucking own the role of Jim Gordon, and Michael Caine will continue to wryly portray Alfred the butler/confidante. I’m guessing/hoping that Morgan Freeman returns as Lucius Fox, as well.

All we need is a villain. No word on what’s going to happen with Aaron Eckhart, who did a bang-up job as Harvey Dent/Two-Face, since he was possibly, well, dead at the end of The Dark Knight. But it’s comic books. Who the hell knows.

Well, now we know this: Nolan has cast Tom Hardy in the film, though no word on who he’s going to play, be it villain, ally or other. All I know is that it’s fucking aces as far as casting goes. Hardy was outstanding in Nolan’s Inception, and blew audiences away with his gritty intensity in Bronson. Also? He’s turned himself into a goddamn brick shithouse.

tom-hardy-bronson.jpg

I mean, damn.

There were rumors floating around yesterday that the villain in the film would be Waylon Jones, aka Killer Croc, which makes a bit of sense given that the movie will film in New Orleans (whether or not it will double for Gotham City, or that some of the film will simply take place there remains to be seen). Killer Croc sounds a little ridiculous at first, but really it’s not that bad an idea — the character was originally simply a crime boss with a nasty skin affliction similar to epidermolytic hyperkeratosis, though it’s actually a form of “regressive atavism, meaning that he has inherited traits of ancestral species of the human race, such as reptiles” (thanks, Wikipedia). So it could be done without being too cartoonish. And if it is Killer Croc, well, Hardy could certainly be an interesting choice.

A lot of people were thinking The Riddler. The Riddler is fucking lame. There, I said it.

Regardless of who he plays, it’s outstanding news and yet another casting decision that Nolan has absolutely nailed. With the exception of the criminally dull Katie Holmes in Batman Begins, the man has yet to make a mistake.

Rejoice, people.

(source: Slashfilm)









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Comments

Pretty sure I reported this yesterday....

Also, and I mean this in the straightest, least-gay sounding way possible: I want to have sex with his butt.

Posted by: chayes at October 14, 2010 9:39 AM

I'm leaning toward believing that Morgan Freeman will be in it. He just got soaked by his ex so he's gotta get paid.

As for the villain, I was thinking Bane.

That, or Egghead, but, hey, Nolan's no Vincent Price

Posted by: Uncle JR at October 14, 2010 9:51 AM

Please Nolan don’t fuck this up! Killer Croc, really? Dude I don’t think you could have found an even more unknown villain if you tried. And I’m sure nawlins could use the tourism money that a movie production company would bring, but keep the story and the villain simple.

Posted by: Pookie at October 14, 2010 9:57 AM

Love seeing the Trans-Siberian ads, finally something that I have purchased.

Was this dude also in the STNG: Nemesis movie?

Posted by: richmac at October 14, 2010 9:58 AM

As I stated yesterday: "Fuck!" and "Yeah!"

Posted by: admin at October 14, 2010 9:59 AM

I've been obsessed with Tom Hardy since his turn as Robert Dudley in Masterpiece Theatre's The Virgin Queen. I am so glad he's finally getting some meatier roles because he deserves a lot more that playing creapy ass characters in lame Star Trek incarnations.

Posted by: Alice at October 14, 2010 9:59 AM

What I like about this casting news is that I can see Hardy playing any number of Batman villains. You say the Riddler is lame (how dare you spit on Frank Gorshin's legacy, sir), but he'd make an excellent Ed Nygma. With his turn in Bronson, Killer Croc does seem obvious and pretty badass. But I could also see them doing an interesting thing with Penguin-- somewhere between Burgess Meredith and Danny Devito, but, obviously, more physical. He could even be Mr. Freeze, should they go a less sci-fi route with that character. ManBat, Mad Hatter, Black Mask, Clayface... Hardy could do them all. Just really, really excellent casting.

I'd love to see Killer Croc, but I always kind of hoped that Tiny Lister was actually Croc at the end of The Dark Knight and they hadn't revealed that, yet... Damn you, TK, now I desperately want to watch the movie and I can't because I'm at work. Damn you.

Posted by: RobP at October 14, 2010 10:01 AM

DO NOT look up pictures of epidermolytic hyperkeratosis. It will ruin your day.

Posted by: superasente at October 14, 2010 10:02 AM

richmac, Hardy was indeed the villain/Picard-clone in Nemesis. He was probably the best part of that movie, but that isn't saying much.

Posted by: RobP at October 14, 2010 10:03 AM

Agreed RobP. I thought he was damn solid, too bad the franchise became too old as the 'droid' had aging lines. But Gates McFadden was always nice to look at.

As for a villian, I would like to see one more shot at The Penguin. Just from my childhood, and seeing Meredith waddle around with his FDR smoke holder is something I will not forget.

Posted by: richmac at October 14, 2010 10:12 AM

I couldn't disagree more with the Riddler sucking. Have you SEEN the recent episode of "Fringe"!? That's the power of a GREAT Riddler - impossibly smart, calculating, needling Batman's sense of reality through cold, hard logic. True, "Fringe"'s villain was closer to the Clock King, but the smarts is what counts.

That, or we could have the University of Florida's mascot as the big bad, which would be... silly.

Posted by: Byrd at October 14, 2010 10:23 AM

Wait a Godtopus damned minute. You mean to tell me Nolan is casting a pretty boy and then he's going to mess up that pretty boy's face?

PREPOSTEROUS!

Posted by: Cindy at October 14, 2010 10:24 AM

"Gary Oldman will continue to fucking own the role of Jim Gordon"

Husky Batman voice: "I need to get a fix on The Joker's position."

Gordon: "homma suma nimma Joker biza poza Gotham"

Seriously, am I the only one who can't understand what he says half the time? Am I the only one!? It is like everyone else is at an 8 and he's at a 5.

Fun fact: If you skip all the scenes without Joker, you can watch The Dark Knight in about forty-five minutes. And it's totally more entertaining. I've done this more than once.

Posted by: pissant at October 14, 2010 10:28 AM

Seriously, am I the only one who can't understand what he says half the time? Am I the only one!?

Yes.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at October 14, 2010 10:34 AM

We'll have to keep an eye on whether or not Hardy is bulking up like a mofo. If that's the case, then you could see him jump in as Bane.

The problem with Hardy as Bane is that Christian Bale is 6', and Hardy is only 5'9. Not good. Rumor has it that Christian Bale can actually focus hard enough to change not only his weight, but his actual height for a role. I wouldn't put it past him.

The best thing about the Nolan run on Bats is that you feel like the first thing he creates is Gotham itself, rather than previous installments that revolved around Bruce and his enemies. This is huge because we can't forget where TDK left off; with Batman on the run and Gordon now forced to chase after him. One can assume that the cops will play an important role in this, and that there will have to be a stronger presence in the Gotham PD that is opposed to Batman, rather than the no-names yelling "NO MORE DEAD COPS" and whatnot.

In the first film, we get introduced to Gotham in decay, almost set on the brink by Colonel Hannibal Qui-Gon Aslan Zeus Schindler Ducard. Joker pushes it further, and at the end of the movie one can speculate that the mob is largely done in Gotham; Black Dynamite, the Russian and Eric Roberts are dead, and the "city" has stood up to what the Joker planned.

This isn't Nipples on the Batsuit; you aren't going to see Nolan haphazardly throwing big-names villains in to sell action figures and Happy Meals. As such, there's a lot of different ways that Hardy himself can go. Bane still makes a degree of sense, since we've yet to see Batman really struggle with a foe physically. But you could step back, and posit that a character like Hush fits well inside the Nolan universe. Are we again going to see yet another mob boss like Black Mask or Killer Croc?

Not to mention, we still don't have a female presence in the movie. I'm sure we won't get thrown another Nicole Kidman, but could we get a combination of Batman fighting the cops, Hardy (as whomever), and Talia Al Ghul? I hope signs point to yes.

Holy crap I wasted too much time on this AND I DON'T CARE GIVE ME MORE BATMAN AAAAAAAAHH. So many directions to go in; hell, even though Nolan said he'd never go Robin, what if I offered you Levitt as an older Dick Grayson, much closer to the age when Nightwing turns himself into a viable protector of Gotham? I'm just saying.

/hyperventilate
/breathe into paper

Okay, whew. Back to the real world.

Posted by: D-Day at October 14, 2010 10:44 AM

Yes.

Ya know, you're like those people in grade school who answered "Yeeeesssss!" when the teacher asked if everyone was finished. The question is for the people who aren't finished.

Posted by: pissant at October 14, 2010 10:52 AM

Is this movie really that "anticipated"? I mean, sure, everybody's going to see it, but does anyone really think this will NOT be a big step down from The Dark Knight (which, I have increasingly begun to believe, was only a "good" movie because of Heath Ledger)?

Posted by: Todd at October 14, 2010 10:53 AM

I haven't seen D-Day this excited since Selena Gomez turned 18.

Posted by: Kballs at October 14, 2010 10:59 AM

Nipples on the Batsuit--D-Day

I am currently working on a music video of a song I'm going to call "Nipples on the Batsuit." It will blow "Pants on the Ground" out of the water. Suck it "Double Rainbow," this sh*t's going viral. And when it is finished I expect you to link your kids, link your wife and link your husbands cause we're linking errybody out here.

Posted by: coveredinbees at October 14, 2010 11:02 AM

Is this movie really that "anticipated"? I mean, sure, everybody's going to see it, but does anyone really think this will NOT be a big step down from The Dark Knight (which, I have increasingly begun to believe, was only a "good" movie because of Heath Ledger)?

I really need to go back and watch Batman Begins again. I think I have only seen it once. I don't care about Batman. I loved it when Rachel died (whoa! I just realized she didn't have a funeral scene). Basically, I'm not connected to any of the characters. I only care about the performance of the villains. I think you are correct in saying it was only good because of Heath Ledger. But he did make it good.

Posted by: pissant at October 14, 2010 11:03 AM

Now I know they're not making the new Batman installment JUST to please me, but seriously: they cast Tom Hardy, now just make this happen.

Please and thank you.

Posted by: shanmarie (AKA penelope) at October 14, 2010 11:27 AM

I'm with you Pissant,

My brother and I have been saying it for a while. Heath Ledger made that movie and I think because he was so awesome in it it was easy to ignore alot of the mistakes in the film. And there are a lot people. But still, a good film.

Now who's Nolan going to cast as a romantic lead? Don't fool yourselves, he must be pretty aware that if he doesn't cast a female romantic lead he won't entirely clinch the female demographic. Don't get mad at me! It's true.

I always thought he'd go with Selena Kyle in this one since there was a reference to Cat Woman in the last film.

Posted by: citizen_cris at October 14, 2010 11:44 AM

Did anyone else make the mistake of thinking they had cast Tom Hardy on Law and Order: LA as a detective... but forced him to don the look of Bronson. All mustache and bald head. It confused the hell out of me when I saw those promos for the first time.

Posted by: e at October 14, 2010 12:19 PM

I feel the need to settle this:

It is only IMPLIED that Harvey Dent/Two-Face is dead. Think about it:

1). It was said that Batman needed to be the fall guy for all the bad things Two-Face did, so they could easily hide him away in Arkham.
2). Batman survived the fall. He's not wearing any kind of fall-breaking suit, just stuff to block bullets. Try jumping off of your house wearing a bulletproof vest to see how protected you are. If he can survive it, there's no reason Two-Face can't as well.
3). THEY ALREADY FAKED ONE DEATH IN THE MOVIE (JIM GORDON), SO WHY CAN'T THEY FAKE ANOTHER ONE? This ties in with number 1.

Now that I got that off my chest, I can't wait for the new one to come out!

Posted by: Kris at October 14, 2010 12:31 PM

He's not wearing any kind of fall-breaking suit

Did you forget the part of the movie where he jumps out of a window to save Rachel, falls several stories, and seems to be unscathed? I don't think Dent is still alive. I actually don't care either way. But Batman definitely wears something that can magically break falls.

Posted by: pissant at October 14, 2010 12:57 PM

"With the exception of the criminally dull Katie Holmes in Batman"

Despite being criminally dull, at least Katie Holmes looked like she belonged in A) A comic book movie, and B) with Bruce Wayne. As opposed to Maggie Gyllenjustfelloutofthebackofatruck-whatever her name is.

There. I said it.

Posted by: Some Guy at October 14, 2010 2:18 PM

I had to look Tom Hardy up as his name isn't familiar to me. turns out I have seen him in plenty of films and he is the invisible man. Even looking at a bunch of photos from different movies, I cannot recognize this guy, it's like a different person in every picture. and i don't mean he is generically forgettable, he's just the man of 1000 charismatic faces. It's no wonder he is rumoured to be in just about every big studio effort over the next three years, you can make the guy into anything.

what he needs to do is quit acting and be a real spy. that kind of talent is just wasted in the pictures

Posted by: idleprimate at October 14, 2010 3:07 PM

The riddler... the Joker... they're alll the same to me. Killer Croc!? Now there's a new one!

Posted by: Lbees at October 14, 2010 5:04 PM

Rumor has it that Christian Bale can actually focus hard enough to change not only his weight, but his actual height for a role.

Ha!

Posted by: Lauren at October 14, 2010 5:19 PM

But Batman definitely wears something that can magically break falls.

WRONG!

A list of training objectives Christian Bale goes through to become Batman:

1) Chews Teflon and gargles industrial strength rust remover.

2) 'Rassles Stegosauruses as they're hopped up on crystal meth.

3) Stares intensely at Paris Hilton crotch shots in the aphotic zone of Llyn Trawsfynydd to become better acclimated to the haunting darkness.

4) Takes his bats to a lovely dinner at the poshest fusion restaurant in town.

5) Practices "BEING A FUCKING PROFESSIONAL, MAN!"

6) Receives personal lessons from Macho Man Randy Savage, wherein they both leap off downtown skyscrapers and give the Flying Elbow Drop to passing taxicabs. Turns out that "Ohhhh Yeaaaaah" is a totally valid defense for pancaking private livery property. (see JohnnyCab v. Quaid)

7) Does his part to solve global warming by re-freezing the arctic glaciers with his icy cool stare. Unfortunately he melts their hearts at the same time. /anthropomorphism swoon.

8) Flips through his rolodex to find out which moldy, Babylonian Gods he hasn't beaten the shit out of yet.

9) Powers Sub-Saharan Africa with the power of internet man-crushes.

Posted by: D-Day at October 14, 2010 5:22 PM

Husky Batman voice: "I need to get a fix on The Joker's position."

Gordon: "homma suma nimma Joker biza poza Gotham"

Seriously? Dude, you've got this one all backwards. Bale is the one afflicted with the mumbles. Willy Wonka would kick his batty ass out of the Chocolate Factory for the growly mumbling.

Also, I will CUT YOU for talking bad about Gary Oldman. He can do no wrong. NO WRONG!!! *la la la la la la la la* I can't hear your criticisms!

Posted by: stardust at October 14, 2010 6:33 PM

I admit I had kind of been really hoping for JGL as the Riddler (like some rumors had stated), so I was a teensy bit sad to see this news.

But only after my heart had settled its wild fluttering from reading "Tom Hardy Cast in Batman 3."

So...I guess not that sad.

Posted by: Shibuyama at October 14, 2010 6:46 PM

Uh, hate to bring the nerd level in here up a notch but dude. Killer Croc is black.

After all the shit that's been going around about racial casting (Black spiderman, Avatar's race bending bullshit) do you really think they'd cast a white dude as one of the only black characters in Batman?

Posted by: Ben at October 14, 2010 7:17 PM

Wait a Godtopus damned minute. You mean to tell me Nolan is casting a pretty boy and then he's going to mess up that pretty boy's face?

Amen.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at October 14, 2010 9:07 PM

"A lot of people were thinking The Riddler. The Riddler is fucking lame. There, I said it."

Agreed...

Create a new villan.

Posted by: Carltonio at October 14, 2010 10:12 PM

being that these films are for the masses and not just the comic geeks, they could use any villain or make up an entirely new one(holy shake the nerds up!).

i never followed DC comics, but from what i have seen, they could do worse than making a new villain. many of batmans foes are downright silly and make spidermans anthropomorphic foes seem cool.

Posted by: idleprimate at October 14, 2010 10:45 PM

And when it is finished I expect you to link your kids, link your wife and link your husbands cause we're linking errybody out here.

Posted by: coveredinbees at October 14, 2010 11:02 AM

Are you suggesting we make a really long Human Centipede here, 'cause I'm really not into that...

Posted by: Uriah Creep at October 14, 2010 10:57 PM

Bale is the one afflicted with the mumbles.

I'm sure everyone has moved on from this thread, but here goes nothin'...

There are plenty of problems with Batman's voice, but I wouldn't say he mumbles. His voice is great for throwing out a forceful "Where are they!?" or something short like that. But if you go over four (maybe five) words, it gets ridiculous. However, I have had many a good time saying completely mundane things in that voice like "I usually can't drink coffee until it cools down, but this Starbucks does a good job on the temperature". Also, pretty much anything that has to do with my math.

Posted by: pissant at October 15, 2010 9:30 AM

Yes, specifically my math.

How the hell did I pull that one off?

Posted by: pissant at October 15, 2010 9:31 AM

I love me some Tom Hardy, but you can't really call it an inspired casting choice if you don't know which character he's playing.

Posted by: Craig at October 15, 2010 10:19 AM

Are you suggesting we make a really long Human Centipede here, 'cause I'm really not into that...

Look buddy, the internet is all about page hits. So when someone looks up "ass-to-mouth-to-ass-to-mouth-to-ass-to-mouth movie" on ye olde google, by now we've gotta be the first page listed that won't be checking to see if you're 18 or older/ask for credit card information.

That's how I got here! I mean I know people who have got here that way...

Posted by: D-Day at October 15, 2010 11:23 AM

I don't agree with all the Batman hate, hate, hate. But I concur with pissant's spot-on description of Bale's "batman" voice. The long speeches don't work well with it, about the only thing that grated on me. And it is hilarious to say things in that voice, nearly anything.

Posted by: e at October 15, 2010 10:46 PM

For those of you who love excessive use of Christian Bale's "Batman Voice", you should totally check this out (and if you've seen it before, it's still great):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXDQrnoqSXo&feature=player_embedded

Posted by: RobP at October 15, 2010 11:16 PM

...And no one has yet thought of Solomon Grundy?

I still have my fingers crossed for Catwoman. I love me some Catwoman.

Posted by: lise at October 17, 2010 12:41 AM

Tom Hardy as Catwoman, eh? Well, they made Heath Ledger work as the Joker. I guess anything's possible.

Posted by: RobP at October 17, 2010 3:06 AM