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The Daily Trade Round-Up / Daniel Carlson

Trade News | October 11, 2007 | Comments (40)


I find myself in a weird position concerning Paramount’s upcoming Star Trek film in that I want it to be good and I expect it to be terrible. I guess the mindset isn’t that strange for someone who had decently high hopes (for a 9-year-old, anyway) going into Star Trek V, which took the dying-then-finding-yourself- then-saving-the-whales trilogy of Star Trek II-IV and scuttled it with an absolutely bizarre story about how Kirk basically arm-wrestles God into submission. (It should come as not much of a surprise that William Shatner came up with the story and also directed.) Anyway, the point is that the inner nerd in me, the scared little boy who will never stop being in elementary school and who knows that sometimes the needs of the many don’t outweigh the needs of the few, or the one — that little guy wants the new Star Trek movie to be fun, and adventurous, and full of all the lightweight melodrama and ridiculously utopian worldviews that other sci-fi franchises (mainly the new “Battlestar Galactica”) aren’t nearly stupid enough to try. So when I hear things like this week’s announcement that Eric Bana has been cast as the villain, I think, “Right on. Right frakking on.” But then I hear the rumor — still unconfirmed — that Chris Pine is in talks to play Captain Kirk, which makes we wanna take director J.J. Abrams by the lapel and shake him vigorously and ask why the guy who was second-billed to Lindsay Lohan in Just My Luck is maybe being considered to literally take the helm of the story’s resurrection. Pine’s sole credentials seems to be his eyes and jaw. Please tell me it’s not that easy. But Pine is also reportedly in negotiations to costar with George Clooney in White Jazz, Joe Carnahan’s adaptation of the James Ellroy novel, so who knows. All I can say is that the world-weary twentysomething that steers my ship most of the day is resigned to the fact that parts of this movie may be less than, well, good. But the kid in me, whose tastes I’ve since outgrown, nevertheless holds out hope.

And the news just keeps getting what-the-fuckier: Universal this week announced they’re giving the green light to Land of the Lost, which will indeed be based on the deeply misguided 1970s kids’ show about a family who drove through a canyon or something and ended up in the Mesozoic. The budget for the Will Ferrell comedy is being recalibrated from a frightening $125 million to an only slightly less insane $100 million in order to secure a start date of March 2008. Ferrell has been attached to the project for a while now, but Universal’s decision to speed up production essentially puts Ferrell out of the running for other films that are hoping to get started ahead of a potential writers’ strike that could happen in November. The film was written by Chris Henchy (“Spin City,” “Entourage”) and Dennis McNicholas (sadly, also of The Ladies Man) and is being directed by Brad Silberling. I pray with everything in me that “Lidsville” isn’t next in the pipeline.

For the Philip K. Dick fans in the audience (which is hopefully more than a few of you): The Halcyon Co. has acquired first-look rights for Dick’s works and is planning several TV projects and feature film adaptations to be made in conjunction with Electric Shepherd Productions, which represents Dick’s estate. Electric Shepherd’s Isa Hackett and Laura Leslie — Dick’s daughters — will work with Halcyon on some of the adaptations, which could include The Man in the High Castle, an alternative-history novel set in a world where the Axis won World War II, and The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch, which probably involves space travel. Halcyon’s deal gives them access to around 45 novels and 120 short stories, and they’re expected to announce soon which one or two projects will be first up, in hopes of securing a 2009 release.

Finally, this morning’s trailer watch features the new teaser for Jumper, a sci-fi actioner starring Hayden Christensen as a guy who can teleport himself anywhere and Samuel L. Jackson as the man who for some reason is sworn to stop him, probably while swearing loudly. It looks like the kind of movie you’d really enjoy on HBO on a lazy, laundry-filled Sunday afternoon:

Daniel Carlson is the managing editor of Pajiba and a low-level employee at a Hollywood industry magazine. You can visit his blog, Slowly Going Bald.









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Comments

I'm kinda looking forward to Jumper - Doug Liman did a good job with The Bourne Identity, and Mr. & Mrs. Smith had its moments.

Posted by: dillthedevil at October 11, 2007 8:22 AM

I don't give a damn who plays Spock or Kirk as long as they finally, FINALLY make out. I've only been waiting for 14 YEARS, thankyouverymuch. Ever since I was 5 and my mom introduced me to 'The Trouble with Tribbles' and I was like "Dude. Seriously. Kiss him already. DO IT." *sigh*

As for the adaptations of Dick's works... eh... Yay? I love the man with all my soul but they haven't fared very well, have they? I mean, wasn't that god awful movie with Ben Affleck based on one of his books. What was that called? With the time machine and he left himself all these clues. Anyways, I can't really get myself too excited about this without a tinge of apprehension.

So. Jumper. Looks good. Borne Supremacy and Smiths. Not bad credits. Until I saw fucking SUMMER is playing the female lead. And Jackson's ridiculous hair. Oh dear. Did he lose a bet? It look like he got tips from Jessica Alba circa Fantastic 4. Or mid-90's Brad Pitt, maybe.

Posted by: MaliceAlice at October 11, 2007 8:23 AM

I find myself in a weird position concerning Paramount's upcoming Star Trek film in that I want it to be good and I expect it to be terrible.
You took the words right outta my mouth. Oh, yeah. Everything you said in this paragraph.
...they're giving the green light to Land of the Lost, which will indeed be based on the deeply misguided 1970s kids' show...
I was too old for the TV show when it aired, so I'm sort of "meh" about this news; except that since it may be another nail in Ferrell's coffin, career-wise, I'm in favor of it.
...the adaptations, which could include The Man in the High Castle...
NOOOOOOOO...Nononononono...
*vomits*
They must not touch The Man in the High Castle! They will only dilute and defile it!

Posted by: Jerce at October 11, 2007 9:22 AM

I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKING TELEPORTATION!

Posted by: TK at October 11, 2007 9:26 AM

I heard that Zachary Quinto was picked to be Spock - if so, yum! They need to pick a hot Kirk (someone preferably who can also act) to get some good slash going.

Also, I would give Jumper a try except that Hayden Christensen is in it.

Posted by: Marianne at October 11, 2007 9:26 AM

Also, I would give Jumper a try except that Hayden Christensen is in it.

Why blame Hayden Christensen for the sins of George Lucas? Why do that?

Posted by: twig at October 11, 2007 10:13 AM

TK: HA! I think my objective today is to insert that phrase into conversation as often as possible.

Posted by: Nora Borealis at October 11, 2007 10:30 AM

My problem with all the time traveling and teleporting in movies and on TV these days is that it might make people wary of The Time Traveler's Wife when it finally comes out.

Hayden Christensen is smoking hot, though, so I might give it a try.

Posted by: Kolby at October 11, 2007 10:32 AM

I think you would be hard pressed to find another author like PK Dick who has more of his fantastic short stories and novels turned into utter crap, just look at "Minority Report" in which they completely change the ending, "Paycheck" which again they changed the main character into a hero and a tool, or "Total Recall" which my god, other than being on mars, has nothing to do with the short story. As for the story of "The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch", think of a time traveling Jesus sent by god to fuck us up. Pretty cool story, most likely an utter crap film. I seriously just wish they would stop.

Posted by: Diablo at October 11, 2007 10:38 AM

I don't give a damn who plays Spock or Kirk as long as they finally, FINALLY make out.

Dude, that would totally defuse the "will they or won't they" romantic tension. No series can survive after that.

Hayden Christensen

Maybe he'll teleport into an acting class. The romantic interest is, I think, the college girl from that Zach Braff film with Casey Affleck, where Braff cheats on his uber-cool life partner. (Mmmmmmmm, Blythe Danner. Mmmmmmm.) Not a good pedigree among the actors here, excluding Samuel L. Jackson's earlier works.

I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKING TELEPORTATION!

[*snort*snicker*]

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at October 11, 2007 10:48 AM

"Paycheck" which again they changed the main character into a hero and a tool

They only changed him into a hero. Ben Affleck just arrives on set like that.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at October 11, 2007 10:51 AM

About Jumper: JAMIE BELL! JAMIE BELL! JAMIE BELL!

Also, Hayden wasn't that bad in that Kevin Kline movie, Life as a House. But Rachel Bilson? What the fuck, was Scarlett Johannson busy? Scratch that, this movie would be about a thousand times better if Jena Malone had been cast instead of Rachel Bilson. Or a young female that could act, period.

Posted by: Renee at October 11, 2007 11:30 AM

I actually really enjoyed Minority Report. Yes, they changed it, but it's still a good movie. Paycheck and Total Recall are NOT good movies. And you can't deny the awesomeness of Blade Runner, so there have been some successes.

I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKING SOCALLEDONLYCOUSINS!

Posted by: TK at October 11, 2007 11:33 AM

I would just love to see the Hollywood-ending to The Man in the High Castle. Because we all know that ambiguous endings are always their strong point.

Sigh.

Posted by: faye at October 11, 2007 11:54 AM

What is wrong with you people? Total Recall was fucking awesome.
"Hahaha..So you think this is the real Quaid? IT IS!"

Posted by: Handel at October 11, 2007 12:02 PM

What is wrong with you people? Total Recall was fucking awesome.
"Hahaha..So you think this is the real Quaid? IT IS!"

Posted by: Handel at October 11, 2007 12:05 PM

What is wrong with you people? Total Recall was fucking awesome.
"Hahaha..So you think this is the real Quaid? IT IS!"

Posted by: Handel at October 11, 2007 12:05 PM

George Clooney in White Jazz, Joe Carnahan's adaptation of the James Ellroy novel, so who knows

Wow, Clooney + Ellroy = sweet.

Posted by: Brian at October 11, 2007 12:12 PM

The new Star Trek can't be any worse than Star Trek: The Final Frontier, Insurrection, or Nemesis, can it? Man did those flicks suck.

What happened to Hayden's thriller with Jessica Alba where he goes into surgery but ends up able to feel the whole procedure but can't move? I think it was called "Awake". Looked interesting and from what I'd read was finished filming a while ago.

Posted by: Rob at October 11, 2007 12:15 PM

Jumper looks ok. The fact that Liman directed 2 episodes of The OC might explain Miss Bilson's appearance in the movie. Two things:
1. All Jamie Bell movies should be required to have T Rex soundtracks - I think Baby Boomerang matches this movies well
2. Mr. Jackson's weapon looks like something he stole from a Star wars set while Lucas wasn't watching

Posted by: Brian at October 11, 2007 12:31 PM

I've never seen a Star Trek movie in my life. (I know, I'm sorry.) But Eric Bana *and* Zachary Quinto in a movie? I'll be there opening day.

Posted by: HJ at October 11, 2007 12:49 PM

Maybe Jackson is still pissed that Hayden cut off his hand.

I do find it funny that unlike other actors, who may change their mannerisms, speech patterns and cadence depending on the character they are playing, Sam Jackson simply changes the wig he wears.

"No, in this one I'm an angry, foul-mouthed bad guy. You can tell by the ridiculous white wig I'm wearing. Similarly, in 'Pulp Fiction' I was an angry, foul-mouthed hitman with a conscience, as evidenced by my geri curl afro. In 'Shaft', I was an angry, foul-mouthed cop, so I was bald, but I didn't play by the rules, as evidenced by the a goatee. In 'Star Wars', I was an angry, PG-13 Jedi, hence, no cussing and no wig. Do you dig it, motherfucker?"

Posted by: Matt at October 11, 2007 12:49 PM

Maybe Jackson is still pissed that Hayden cut off his hand.

I do find it funny that unlike other actors, who may change their mannerisms, speech patterns and cadence depending on the character they are playing, Sam Jackson simply changes the wig he wears.

"No, in this one I'm an angry, foul-mouthed bad guy. You can tell by the ridiculous white wig I'm wearing. Similarly, in 'Pulp Fiction' I was an angry, foul-mouthed hitman with a conscience, as evidenced by my geri curl afro. In 'Shaft', I was an angry, foul-mouthed cop, so I was bald, but I didn't play by the rules, as evidenced by the a goatee. In 'Star Wars', I was an angry, PG-13 Jedi, hence, no cussing and no wig. Do you dig it, motherfucker?"

Posted by: Matt at October 11, 2007 12:50 PM

Matt: He's like a black Christopher Walken.

Posted by: TK at October 11, 2007 12:56 PM

"And the news just keeps getting what-the-fuckier"

LOL!!! I am SO using that in the near future!! It is, in my estimation, the best phrase I've read in at least the last week.

Posted by: Lauren at October 11, 2007 12:59 PM

Hayden's horrible line delivery has nothing to do with Lucas' shitty writing, they just converged and created a never before seen "vortex of suck."

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 11, 2007 1:15 PM

"Blade Runner" was a great film spun from a depressive, paranoid book (Don't get me wrong; I loves me some Phillip K. Dick. But you can't deny the man is no Nicholas Sparks.)

In order for any film version of PKD's work to be decent, it has to be divorced somewhat from the original material and made with some measure of cinematic creativity. Same is true for Stephen King.

Hollywood understands PKD like they understand Kafka.

Posted by: Alabamapink at October 11, 2007 1:47 PM

Does it make me completely shallow that despite his talent, his ability to come out of Troy with some respect and his nice selection of roles (with the exception of the aforementioned Troy), I just can't get past Eric Bana's tiny little girly mouth?

Posted by: PaddyDog at October 11, 2007 2:32 PM

shallow? No.
weird? Yes.

Posted by: TK at October 11, 2007 3:28 PM

Urm...TK is calling ME weird? So now we know that TK stands for The Kettle.

Posted by: PaddyDog at October 11, 2007 3:31 PM

So now we know that TK stands for The Kettle.

Heeeeee! Brilliant! "And so-eth it was writteneth."

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at October 11, 2007 4:13 PM

I am so inexplicably excited about Jumper. Ever since I first saw the trailer, hells if I know why but I'm really pumped about it.

Posted by: adamae at October 11, 2007 6:22 PM

I'm with TK - I enjoyed Minority Report.

Regarding Zachary Quinto - maybe it's because I've only seen his Heroes work, but I've yet to be impressed with his acting. Sylar is one of the most idiotic, if unintentionally funny, "villains" currently on TV, and some of that is on Quinto's performance.

Posted by: Daphne at October 11, 2007 8:51 PM

"Jumper" and its sequel "Reflex" are terrific books. Actually, everything Steve Gould writes is good. I would love to see a movie version of "Wildside", "Greenwar", "Helm", or "Blind Waves".

Posted by: Adam C at October 12, 2007 12:27 AM

I'm with TK and Adam C. I enjoyed Minority Report too. And Blade Runner is my number one, so I have hope that they might manage to make something interesting out of PKD's work. The Man in the High Castle is a fucking excellent novel.

Jumper looks cool; Hayden is kind of adorable even if he isn't the greatest actor, and HEY JAMIE BELL! Safe to say I'll end up seeing this.

And the mention of George Clooney in White Jazz made me feel all funny and tingly down there. Ellroy is brilliant, and after the disappointment that was The Black Dahlia, I'm praying that this is true.

Posted by: paquito at October 12, 2007 2:09 AM

The Sci Fi Wire is reporting that Simon Pegg will also be in the new Star Trek movie.

Simon fucking Pegg, people. He could be cast next to Paris Hilton, and I'd still go see his movie.

www.scifi.com/scifiwire/index.php?category=1&id=44690&type=0

Posted by: faye at October 12, 2007 2:13 AM

A gladiator with an Australian accent - I can totally see how that happened, but a Star Trek villain with it, now THAT I must see. In other news, Eric Bana is smoking hot :D
I suspect Hayden's acting depends as much on the quality of the writing as on the people he works with. "Life As A House" is one of my favorite movies of all time and the entire cast is flawless (yes, even Ian Somerhalder). But you're-breaking-my heart-Anakin, sigh, I'm just gonna give u the triple dot and rest with that: ...

Posted by: irina at October 12, 2007 3:27 AM

Simon Pegg as Scotty.
Eric Bana as a Romulan villain.
Zachary *shudder* Quinto as Spock.
One of Hollywood's interchangable bland-pretty closet-cases as Kirk.

Oh, God.

This movie is going to join Star Trek V and the Enterprise series to create a Star Trek "We Do Not Speak Of Them" triad.

Eeeeeesh...

Posted by: Jerce at October 12, 2007 1:28 PM

Not so fast on dissing The cast of the new Star Trek film. It could work.

Posted by: Mr. West at October 13, 2007 3:42 AM

Wouldn't John Cho be literally taking the helm of the new Star Trek? Sulu is the helmsman of the Enterprise, after all. Chris Pine would certainly be captaining it, though.

Posted by: Peter Lynn at October 15, 2007 1:38 PM


















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