web counter
 

'Cause Now Youve Got to Fly, (Fly High) Fly to the Angels

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (27)

Lineup_warbirds_AVV_2005_6658.jpg

What the hell? I mean, I guess this is a semi-original idea, in that it hasn’t, to my knowledge, been done before, but…

OK, so here it is: TMU Pictures has tapped Michael Chait to direct his script of War Birds, which is described as being about “an Air Force veteran-turned-reckless airshow re-enactment pilot as he gets pulled into the underground culture of illegal, real-life aerial combat.”

::scratches head::

So … I … does … I guess.

Is this like The Fast And The Furious with planes? Will someone deliver the line “I live my life a quarter mach at a time”? Will Vin Diesel be involved? Doesn’t he almost have to be? How exactly does one get involved with, not to mention get away with, an underground aerial combat circuit? It seems that the outcome would frequently be one person dying, so … how many bouts could there possibly be? This doesn’t actually exist, does it? Have I been wasting my time on basketball games when I could have been watching the And 1 Blow Shit Up In The Sky Tour?

Why am I asking all these fucking questions? Why am I so perplexed by this? Why is this being made at all?

What should I have for lunch?

This whole thing just has me puzzled. Also? A little enraged at its stupidity, because let’s be serious — there’s no way this ends up being a good movie. I suspect it’s going to be more like the flying version of that stupid motorcycle movie that had the two chicks motorbike-fighting.

::goes to IMDB::

Torque! Right. God, why did I remind myself of its existence? You see what you people have done? I hate all of you.









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Dark Shadows | Michael Bay Directs Victoria's Secret Commercial →









Comments

You've never heard of it? It's on the Extreme Sports channel - Sunday lunch time.

Posted by: The Chief at December 8, 2009 9:57 AM

How do the planes fight underground? That seems stupid. Unless the creepy cave guys from "The Descent" are flying them. Then this would fucking rock.

Posted by: , at December 8, 2009 9:58 AM

I wish they would do a movie on the underground illegal baking circuit:

"I live my life one biscuit at a time."

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 8, 2009 10:05 AM

See, they left out one key word. It's the underground culture of illegal, real-life aerial MODEL combat.

It's two hours of guys fiddling with remote contols while buzzing planes blow up in the background. Still better than Torque though.

Posted by: mrcreosote at December 8, 2009 10:05 AM

Godtopus help the creators if any of the planes end up with ground effects.

Posted by: branded at December 8, 2009 10:05 AM

The best part of the two chick motorcycle0fighting in Torque is definitely the FULL SCREEN Pepsi and Mt. Dew ads in entirely making up the background of those shots.

It's the kind of subtle marketing a connesieur like myself can really appreciate.

Posted by: trippdup at December 8, 2009 10:08 AM

I wish they would do a movie on the underground illegal baking circuit:

"I live my life one biscuit at a time."

Alternatively, "I live my life a quarter cup at a time."

Posted by: branded at December 8, 2009 10:09 AM

I wish they would do a movie on the underground illegal baking circuit...

If it's illegal baking, then it involves dope (mj makes biscuits now?!), transforming your lovely original idea into an overdone one.

Posted by: Cindy at December 8, 2009 10:10 AM

I'll see this if they cast Dolph Lundgren and feature full penetration.

Otherwise, I'm out.

Posted by: Kballs at December 8, 2009 10:21 AM

Cindy the illegal baking circuit movie involves, sex, drugs, gamble, rock and roll, XTREME sweaty faced close-ups and a young prodigy baker who doesn't play buy any one's rules- BUT HIS OWN. Along the way the baker skirts and the law and chases skirts, but gets mixed up (PUNN'D!) with a young flour distributor who may just have the hold on him (read: vagina) to settle him down. Can he win the baking challenge so that he can win the money to cure his sick brother with an incurable disease?

Of course he can, bitches...

IT'S IN THE PAN!

Coming, SUMMER OH-ELEVEN!

Posted by: Kayanne at December 8, 2009 10:28 AM

I would like to nominate Barbadoslim for an EE award. I laughed like a lumox over his comment.

Posted by: superasente at December 8, 2009 10:31 AM

I don't wish to seriously discuss this, as it would give this movie more respect than it does, but certainly they use lasers and no one gets harmed, or so you think...

Synopsis:
Brach Towers, a down-on-his-luck ex-fighter pilot, is scraping by on doing loop-de-loops for yokels in a traveling air show. Everyone in the air show hangs out, except for a couple of loner pilots, Ajax and Courtney, who disappear some afternoons and return in high spirits. Benny, Brach's best friend, tells him he's heard rumors that they are doing illegal aerial combat, where pilots tag other pilots with lasers to score points. Brach confronts the two who initially rebuff him, but ultimately decide to see if he's "got what it takes"(cue skills montage ending with Courtney saying, "Alright, I think he's ready for the big time!"(barrel roll)). Brach, and inexplicably Benny, accompany Ajax and Courtney to the next illegal aerial combat match. Before the match they have a none-too-friendly run in with the "Prop Devils", who vow to get even with them. During the match, the Prop Devils(who have hidden real weapons on their aircraft) shoot Benny down. Now, Brach must stay in the illegal circuit and risk it all for his shot at redemption, to avenge Benny, and to win money to save his mom's life*.

Laugh all you want, I just sold this script for half a million. We got Val Kilmer attached to do an extended cameo as Iceman/Brach's long absent father.

* - Did I forget to mention that Brach's mom has cancer? Because, she has cancer.

Posted by: pissant at December 8, 2009 10:37 AM

Oh, I think I've seen that one Kayanne. Does he end up with egg on his face?

Insert groan here.

Posted by: Cindy at December 8, 2009 10:41 AM

Have I been wasting my time on basketball games when I could have been watching the And 1 Blow Shit Up In The Sky Tour?

I don't know why, but this was really funny to me.

Posted by: Gerald at December 8, 2009 10:41 AM

Jesus H. Christ. I saw those planes and got excited for a second...

When the hell's "Red Tails" getting made?

Posted by: Jay at December 8, 2009 10:43 AM

*sigh* No, Cindy our hero, played by Paul Walker, actor, will not get egg on his face...

His rival, head of the Columbian Drug Cartel's Pastry division, Papi Fresh, will.

Duh.

Also, pissant this: "(cue skills montage ending with Courtney saying, "Alright, I think he's ready for the big time!"(barrel roll))" wins everything. Expect your Nobel prize in Awesome in the mail within the week.

Posted by: Kayanne at December 8, 2009 10:48 AM

The bit when the U.S army spots them and sends planes to blow up the terrorists will be fun. Everyone will die and we'll go home with a smile on our faces.

Posted by: barf at December 8, 2009 11:02 AM

I'll see this if they cast Dolph Lundgren and feature full penetration.

Otherwise, I'm out.


You see, there's one thing Hollywood never shows enough of. Full penetration.

Dolph Lundgren. Action shooting. Full penetration. More action and shooting. Full pentration....

I fucking love you Kballs.

Posted by: PissBoy at December 8, 2009 11:02 AM

Dolph Lundgren in "Full Penetration-The Movie" A Disney production in 3D. To be shown at Imax theaters across the country.

Posted by: mrcreosote at December 8, 2009 11:24 AM

trippdup: Screenshots here.

Posted by: Todd at December 8, 2009 11:34 AM

Torque upset me because it had the audacity to use Curve's Hell Above Water in the commercials.

Posted by: ahamos at December 8, 2009 12:16 PM

I would way rather watch Dolph Lundgren smell crime and achieve full penetration for 90 minutes then watch Really Fast and Mad Furious: The Airshowening. I mean, really. Jesus H. Christ on a cracker.

Posted by: Katers at December 8, 2009 12:50 PM

So someone found the script for Point Break that had all the instances of the word "surfboard" crossed out and replaced with "car" to subsequently be made into The Fast and the Furious, and thought to themselves... "Holy shit. Aeroplanes." Then they whipped out their Sharpie, crossed out "car" and wrote in "aeroplane" before being handed a giant sack of money.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at December 8, 2009 6:29 PM

My dad restores warbirds, so I know we'll end up seeing this and he'll end up hating it because (it's idiotic) nothing will be accurate. He'll annoy everyone in the theatre by giving a running inventory of everything that's wrong, and will be up on his soapbox for the entire hour drive home. It's a dilemma easily foreseen, yet impossible to dodge!

Posted by: muttleycrew at December 9, 2009 5:40 AM

WO WO WO!!! I found a HOTTEST interracial club__M i x e d C o n n e c t *.* _c_0_M___for black Women and white Men, or black Men and white Women, to interact with each other. Interracial is not a problem here, but a great merit to cherish!

Posted by: branty at December 9, 2009 1:20 PM

I read the script when it came out last year. Its not fast and furious. Boy are you guys in for a surprise. All this buzz and no one has the story right. Hilarious.

Posted by: air fanatic at December 11, 2009 7:33 PM

Wow! LOOK what I just FOUND!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/War-Birds/261593624957?ref=ts

AWESOME initial MOVIE POSTER!!!!!!! This seems to be nothing like what I thought. No 'Fast and the Furious' here.

I guess test footage is meant for testing different looks and styles for the film... learn something new everyday.

Posted by: Air Dan at January 26, 2010 12:52 PM