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Watch Leonardo DiCaprio Drown in Glorious 3D

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (12)

Titanic-Winslet-Dicaprio_l.jpg

The second biggest grossing movie of all time will return to theaters on April 6, 2012, smack dab in between the two upcoming Raptures. It needs $21 million to surpass The 10 Commandments for the fifth most popular film of all time (adjusted for inflation), and how best to guarantee that? 3D, of course. It’s the cool new wave in exploitative re-packaging, following in the footsteps of previous announcements that Star Wars and the previous Harry Potter films. Potentially the Indiana Jones and Pixar films may, too, get 3D re-releases.

And really: What’s more enticing than compounding a dull, three-hour movie with a darker screen and the headache that always accompanies wearing 3D glasses? And those post-production conversions always look so swell, don’t they Cameron?

The silver lining, other than potentially being able to drop-off your teenage daughters for three-hour child-free siestas, is that we will finally be able to see DiCaprio drown in a glorious 3D, which has always been a fantasy of mine. You know what else I’d love to see in 3D, for reals? Daniel Stern get hit by a car in Very Bad Things. In fact, someone should just covert all of our favorite death scenes into an extended, 90 minute 3D murder-extravaganza. Nominees?

… cold. Cold. It’s so cold.










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Comments

Yes, but nudie Kate Winslet in 3D!

Posted by: Internet Magpie at May 19, 2011 12:07 PM

I hate this movie.
I caught it when it came on HBO and the boat struck that damn iceberg at 9:15 and didn't sink until 2 hours later!

Posted by: Carolina Girl at May 19, 2011 12:15 PM

I love 3D! Last summer my wife and I went to see something called "Romeo and Juliet" in a nearby park, and we'd never seen such amazing 3D effects. It's like the people were actually walking around in front of us. They were just so lifelike, y'know.

Posted by: superasente at May 19, 2011 12:28 PM

Actually, I'd gladly pay to see the Titanic itself in 3D, to get the feeling that I'm really walking around on the ship.

As for the movie, though, I'd probably leave by the time the ship hits the iceberg. :p No more costume-porn = boring.
(Although there IS that guy hitting the propellor... boiing)

Posted by: Linda at May 19, 2011 12:52 PM

meh. someone should stab 3D to death. for reals. it was fun for a while but only when applied to *some* Disney/Pixar films or whatevs. 3Hour serious movies are no fun in 3D. & Cameron knows that -why do you think Avatar was such an epic failure- but he's such a whore

I just can't believe this. I mean, is this really happening? They should make 'Black Swan' in 3D too. & just about anythig that was ever filmed by anyone. I'd ttly like to see that, not. but it's gonna happen anyway. you know it will.

Posted by: titties at May 19, 2011 1:27 PM

I assume you mean you didn't like Avatar as a movie and I can't argue as I didn't see it, but from Cameron's perspective $749,766,139 is definitely not a failure.

3D is still a Catch-22 for me. I either don't notice it so I'm looking for it all the damn time, or it's so in your face it detracts from the rest of the film. Well, except for Titanic in 3D. I definitely know I don't want to see that.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 19, 2011 1:40 PM

I am a not-so-closeted Titanic fan, but I am beginning to hate the 3D craze, so I doubt I'll be seeing this in the theater. The only thing I care about is finally getting a blu-ray of the movie, which I assume will only happen after this new release.

Posted by: Todd at May 19, 2011 2:04 PM

Socrates -Avatar might have not failed in the department of commerce, but that doesn't mean it didn't fail in all the other important aspects that make a movie worth watching. In other words, a commercial success doesn't guarantee a good movie.

I didn't hate Avatar because it was bad movie. I hated it bc of the headache I got after 3 hours of nauseating 3D torture

Posted by: titties at May 19, 2011 4:49 PM

I hated this movie on sight when my fiance insisted we watch it on video. I retaliated by giving it a bit of MiSTie treatment:

1. Captain: "Women and children first." Mate: "Right, sir, I'll go slip into my peignoir."

2. Describing the White Star Line logo as the Nike swoosh.

3. Swearing black, blue and puce that I saw the Coca-Cola polar bear on the iceberg.

I think the cheering as various bit players died might have been a tad over the top, but it's an indication of how much I despised this tedious flick.

Posted by: The Wanderer at May 19, 2011 5:02 PM

See, and I feel like the best part of this movie was that he doesn't actually drown. He freezes to death first, and then Winslet tearfully promises the human popsicle that she will never to let go. While letting go.

It was gratifying, having sat through the movie thus far, to watch him sink.

Posted by: elisamaza at May 20, 2011 2:04 AM

Thank you so much for the remarks! I'm not involved in diets but gained much from your post and I have already lost some. Regards

Posted by: Stefany Mansir at May 23, 2011 10:38 PM

Titanic is still the best film ever made and the 3 hours length feel more like 2 because the editing and pacing are so excellent. Bring it on James Cameron, I'm so there!

Posted by: shanandra at May 24, 2011 8:44 AM