TimesCrimes Trailer

Woman Removes Shirt; Man Falls into Wrinkle in Time

What the Hell is Going On Here? / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | September 25, 2008 | Comments (42)

One of our frequent commenters, Cindy, sent me a trailer for the Spanish-language film, TimeCrimes yesterday, and after reading over the description of the film — ostensibly about a bird watching expedition that somehow involves time travel — I was wondering what kind of crack-cocaine inspired her to send it to me. What the fuck am I gonna do with this?

But then I watched the trailer. And my God this movie looks retarded.

Just retarded enough to be awesome. I don’t know where this is playing, or if it ever will. But if it ever comes to your area or arrives on DVD, it might be worth checking out. It’s just weird, y’all. Fucking weird. One second a dude is checking out a lady taking off her shirt, and the next, he’s battling his double. And his triple!

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Comments

Hey there, almost naked lady.

"I'm Troy McClure and now we leave you with what we all came here to see...hardcore nudity!!"

Posted by: Julie at September 25, 2008 4:10 PM

I am reminded of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlxoyw_8I7I

Posted by: Devo at September 25, 2008 4:11 PM

"You guys, you guys - I GOT IT. Seriously. It's gonna have betrayal, time travel, dudes fighting themselves - it'll be awesome."

"Does it have a chick pulling off her shirt? We're gonna need a chick pulling off her shirt, somewhere in there. And some goo - all movies need to have at least eight pounds of goo featured prominently. It's in the by-laws."

"YES. We're gonna make this happen. THIS IS GONNA WORK!"

Posted by: Tammy at September 25, 2008 4:13 PM

This EXACT thing happened to me once:

I was with this hoo...friend in the back of a dumpster when suddenly, everything flashed, I woke up and I was battling my double who was dressed up like a catholic schoolgirl.

Weird thing was the double went away when I broke a mirror that was just there.

True...weird.. Story

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 25, 2008 4:15 PM

As a Spanish-speaking Pajibette, I must say....

I'm calling the review!!!!!

Posted by: Sofía at September 25, 2008 4:27 PM

Oh dear sweet cracker sandwiches does this look amAAAzing! Does that guy seem kind of like a Latin Mr. Bean to anyone else?

...anyone?

Posted by: Mella at September 25, 2008 4:42 PM

I TOTALLY need to see this.

TOTALLY.

Sweet cracker sandwiches indeed.

Posted by: "Sybil" "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at September 25, 2008 5:07 PM

Sorry, Sofia, but this guest editorial should go to someone seasoned in the ways of Pajiba. Why yes, I did just have an entry published (thanks for asking)!

I would do a Charlie Kaufman take on a review -- you know, write from inside the movie as the double and then the triple. Whee!

Posted by: Che Grovera at September 25, 2008 5:25 PM

I've seen TimeCrimes, and it is GREAT. Really entertaining!

Posted by: Anonymous at September 25, 2008 5:27 PM

Tammy wrote
>And some goo - all movies need to have at least eight pounds of goo featured prominently. It's in the by-laws.

Posted by: krix at September 25, 2008 5:32 PM

I've seen TimeCrimes, and it is GREAT. Really entertaining!

Posted by: Anonymous at September 25, 2008 5:27 PM

Damn you, Anonymous, for writing such an engrossing and compelling review. That's all the convincing I need! Now my Kaufman-esque review will never see the light of day.

Anonymous could clearly give lessons on brevity to a few of the hacks around this place...

Posted by: Che Grovera at September 25, 2008 5:35 PM

This looks sort of like a cross between the last hour of Harry Potter and Hermione's Inappropriate Lower Back Cleavage, that scene from 1408 where he looks across the air shaft and sees himself looking at himself, and The Invisible Man. With maybe a little bit of that episode of Futurama where they're in Roswell, only not funny. Or at least not intentionally.

Since I love a movie where someone has to kick his own ass, I'd probably see it.

Posted by: AM at September 25, 2008 5:44 PM

I would do a Charlie Kaufman take on a review -- you know, write from inside the movie as the double and then the triple. Whee!

Posted by: Che Grovera

Oh, Che... You... You just don't get it, do you? You cannot review this movie from the inside, because the sheer awesomeness of being in this movie would make everyone spontaneously combust. You can't take the double's or the triple's place, and no, you can't be the quadruplet either. There's a balance in this carefully conceived plot. You can't just get your puppet-ass in there and take notes with nerdy glasses a-la Scarlett in Scoop, my friend. And if you did, you'd have to make a convincing Spanish accent so you don't scare the single, the double, the triple, and the woman they love. Can you do that?

A que no, joder.

Posted by: Sofía at September 25, 2008 5:47 PM

Oh yes I can, usted niña traviesa!

Posted by: Che Grovera at September 25, 2008 6:32 PM

Sofia, if you were a reviewer, On top of all that I already love you for, I don't know what I might do. There would be no distance that could stop our love. I will add that I have been recently named an Eloquent. The ultimate aphrodisiac.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 25, 2008 6:41 PM

SETTLE DOWN!

If she were to become a reviewer, she'd become one of ...*them*...one of the overlords.

She wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 25, 2008 6:44 PM

I've saw this movie earlier this year. I'm going have to disagree with Anonymous, I thought it kinda blew.

The trailer has about ten times as much energy as the actual movie does. In fact, the only thing I really enjoyed was the title, which is pretty awesome (but only in Spanish: Cronocrímenes).

Sorry I can't be more bitchy and/or scathing about it, but it wasn't much to get excited about.

Posted by: giovanni at September 25, 2008 6:54 PM

*I saw*

Yeah, I can't write.

Posted by: giovanni at September 25, 2008 6:55 PM

Oh yes I can, usted niña traviesa!

Posted by: Che Grovera

I rest my case.

If she were to become a reviewer, she'd become one of ...*them*...one of the overlords. She wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim

Obvious joke: If it gets me to piss on you, I'd set you on fire myself, BarbadoSlim. I'm all for marking people with piss. That's 'cause I'm 74% bitch and 58% dumb.

Posted by: Sofía at September 25, 2008 7:01 PM

Wait, are we into water-sports now? I think I left my trunks in another thread...

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 25, 2008 7:10 PM

Please don't fault the effort, 132% Sofia. I guess my problem is that I gave only 110%...

Posted by: Che Grovera at September 25, 2008 7:35 PM

Aawwwww, Che!! You did the math!!! You're so cute! You can have my plastic Oscar. (see link)

Posted by: Sofía at September 25, 2008 7:39 PM

OH MY, is that YOU Sofia?

You are one nice, classy looking young woman.

Ever done any pornos?

Would you like to? We'll keep it classy, no animals (unless you want 'em), plus I have the best sound guy in the biz.

Think about it.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 25, 2008 7:43 PM

Sofia, you can do a lot better than me, I'm afraid.
You are clearly a hottie. If you were a President you would be Baberaham Lincoln. You're magically babelicious. In Latin you'd be Babia majora.
It'd be nice for this to work out but I'm clearly out of your league.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 25, 2008 7:49 PM

Girl you must be Jamaican, because ja makin' Slim crazy!

Posted by: lordhelmet at September 25, 2008 8:03 PM

Ummm.... I'm not so comfortable now... But thanks, guys. It's good to know that BSlim can be photowhipped.

And Optimus, my love, don't you know that I don't really give a shit about looks? I mean, my shirt says "Love/Kind", dude! Pay attention!

Posted by: Sofía at September 25, 2008 8:22 PM

Ummm.... I'm not so comfortable now...

Mmmm..guess that's a NO on the hermaphroditic midgets too.

Anyway, here's my card.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 25, 2008 8:46 PM

Dustin, I recently read that this was a film getting great buzz. Apparently it won honors at something called Fantastic Fest, and was an audience favorite. Also, after watching the trailer, I was struck by the same thought as you. This is so out there freaky stupid, it just might be great.

Here is a blog entry with some information - including that the film will be distributed by Magnolia Pictures.

And a Cinematical review...

Posted by: Cindy at September 25, 2008 9:10 PM

I love the shitty Adobe After Effects looking title.

Posted by: Lucas at September 25, 2008 9:28 PM

So this is about Calvin at 56 and he still has a transmogrifier? I think I saw Hobbes in the HOLY SHIT! Is that Susie Derkins doing the peel? Ya always overlook the bookish ones ...

Oh, the movie? That shit looks cool. I'm so there.

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 25, 2008 9:58 PM

Aww, Sofi. That's sweet. I really need to get to work on my blog and make it presentable for Pajiban scrutiny. I haven't told anyone about it yet. Soon, my love. It will be posted and Optimus Rhyme will be exposed like never before.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 25, 2008 10:14 PM

...and Optimus Rhyme will be exposed like never before.

To us, you mean - right?

Posted by: Cindy at September 25, 2008 10:50 PM

Holy Shit, that's actually playing this weekend at the Sidewalk Film Festival, here in fucking BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA. Us rednecks are going to get us a movin picture to watch.

Posted by: Blakemas! at September 25, 2008 11:32 PM

WOWbooty! I have to get my hands (?) on this video...

Posted by: CELEB CURRY at September 26, 2008 5:45 AM

i am going to get my hands on this one.

Posted by: FUKKAD.com at September 26, 2008 6:00 AM

Aawwwww, Che!! You did the math!!! You're so cute! You can have my plastic Oscar. (see link)

Posted by: Sofía at September 25, 2008 7:39 PM

An Oscar? For math? Oh, hell - why not! Math is a better category than some of the foreign-sound-effects-editing divisions the Academy has come up with lately...

I'd like to thank my mother for making me do long division in my head as a child during family dinner (no dessert if I got it wrong!) and the inventor of the calculator for releasing it just in time to force my father to abandon his efforts to teach me how to use his prized slide rule from his days as an Army cryptographer.

True stories...*sigh*.

Posted by: Che Grovera at September 26, 2008 8:37 AM

I saw it too, at the Sydney Film Festival... I thought it was great, and that trailer isn't very good and gives way too much away. It's a really fun movie to watch play out and turn in on itself. It's a time travel movie which sticks to its central conceit to the very end, which is actually very dark. Depending on how you look at it, it has no paradoxes or just one really big one.

I'd genuinely recommend it, but try not to find out any more of the story.

Posted by: Simon A at September 26, 2008 10:19 AM

The chick in the pic? Why can't there be three of HER? In my bedroom? With me? And a bottle of olive oil? That's a movie I'd watch.

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 26, 2008 10:43 AM

People, PLEASE. Of COURSE Sofia's hot. I'm nothing if not shallow and superficial, and as a heretofore heterosexual woman, I would totally go to a clambake for Sofia. I wasn't trying to flatter when I called her a Chilean Maggie Gyllenhall (there's a short video on her blog somewhere of Sofia and a friend; watch it and tell me I'm wrong). Bow chicka bow, bitches! If I can find a Portugese Tina Fey to round out the trio, I may go down to Lesbotown and never come back.

Okay, this has turned admittedly creepy. I apologize and promise to behave.

Posted by: Mella at September 26, 2008 11:06 AM

I have to thank bucdaddy for warming my heart with memories of Calvin and Hobbes. That kid was totally insane.

Posted by: ms shai at September 26, 2008 11:26 AM

Mella,
If I can make you consider turning into a steak with a moustache fan I'll die a happy woman.

Posted by: Sofía at September 26, 2008 12:05 PM

So I watched some of the trailer and I thought, I think I get the plot, its sort of like Donnie Darko The Guy watches the chick strip her shirt off and in one reality/timeline, it leads him on a dark path which culminates in his raping her and possibly attacking and killing his wife....so then he goes back in time to stop himself ever seeing that girl git nekkid in the first place and has to fight his double....I was going to say its a metaphor for a man fighting his demons, almost literally, battling with the darker side of himself to stop it making an irreversible mistake
(when I say like Donnie Darko I mean in terms of...not the ACTUAL plot, more like the concept, being able to go back and make things different)
But then I realised I was giving this film far too much credit because ...well why are there three of him? Does he fail one time, only for the past him to have the same chain of thought and go back to try and stop himself...but then how are their three of them, unless two of them go back at once, meaning there's three?

But...if they each fail and the other goes back, does that not mean its a loop?

Which implies its permamnent and so the mans soul, and the lives of his victims can never be saved ...in which case the metaphor continues, he's never supposed to beat his own demons, he's always supposed to rape and kill and ruin his whole life...

But....Mainly I'm just going 'Sorry what?'

I cant imagine how there can be three of him and ones evil UNLESS, the doubles are future versions of him who have come back to rape and kill?'

I just....Im going over and over it in my head and I cant come up with a single plausible plot that fits in everything I saw in the advert.

I fear for my brain

Posted by: nadine at September 26, 2008 4:07 PM

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