blogspot
visitor
TIFF A Local Perspective | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

megan-fox-kiss-756.jpg
Celebrity Rubbernecking


The Toronto International Film Festival: A Local Perspective / Michael Murray

Trade News | September 18, 2009 | Comments (36)


During the Toronto International Film Festival, which ends on Saturday, Yorkville is considered ground zero for celebrities. By chance, I was walking the dog through that area earlier in the week, when just around the corner from the Four Season’s Hotel—where all the A-List celebrities stay— I heard the roar of a crowd. I dropped the dog leash and took off at a dead sprint to the noise. Bouncing off of a van that was trying to park, I found myself standing in the middle of a crowd. An important looking black vehicle was speeding away as a ragtag group of out of shape paparazzi huffed along beside it, trying to snap pictures through the window.

I asked the woman standing next to me who was in the SUV. This woman, who did not look remotely insane, told me in an elegant East Indian accent, “George Clooney. I don’t know what came over me, but I ran from my children just to get a look.” From somewhere in the crowd, a thin, adolescent voice could be heard yelling, “celebrities are over-rated, they’re just people!!” It was at this moment that I remembered I had abandoned my girlfriend and our dog about a block away.

I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of celebrity, curious to see if the stars actually have a luminous quality that exists off the screen, one that draws us helplessly toward them. With this in mind, my girlfriend and I went on a little celebrity hunt that took us to a swanky Yorkville hotel for a drink. It was here where we waited in line for 30 minutes in order to sit in a room full of other people who had also waited in line for 30 minutes. We paid $20 for a thin martini and sat on wobbly, if fashionable cubes. There was not a star in sight, just people looking for stars.

Later, we waited in line with about 30 other people to get into a party. Everybody was annoyed, humiliated that although they were on “the list” they still had to line up. Behind us, a woman with angry eyes declared, ” I never have to wait in line for these things. Never. I’ll give it ten minutes and then I’m gone!” She stayed for the next 45 minutes, until an indifferent bouncer eventually let her in.

A man who was trying to conceal the fact that he was in his 50s, told his friends— who were grumbling about being in the line-up— that he’d get them in. He knew somebody. He showed them all the bands he still has on his wrist from previous Festival parties, adding that he forgot he was wearing them he’d been so busy on the circuit. He then flashed a smile that made you want to take a few steps back. He did not return. It struck me that the only thing worse than waiting in line, was bypassing that line, in front of those who remained waiting.

On the way down to one of the hotels where the press conferences were taking place, the cab driver and I talked about the various stars he had driven around town. His English wasn’t very good and it was often very difficult to understand what he was saying, but I think that he said Anthony Quinn and some actress from Moulin Rouge — the one who wasn’t Nicole Kidman. Obviously, this was pretty disappointing, and perhaps sensing that, he added Sylvester Stallone to the list.

“He is very small man, very small, but real good guy.”

“Do you think he’d be small enough to fit in a teacup?” I asked.

“Yes, I think that Mister Stallone might fit almost in the tea.”

The hotel had erected an impenetrable hedge around its patio for the Festival. This protected the privacy of the people in there, and created an aura of mystery. Anything could be happening! Celebrities could be having sex!! Walking by, you heard muffled and disembodied voices that every once in awhile, broke into the inaccessible laughter of the good life.

A woman jogged by, and it was clear that she’d spent every bit as much time on her outfit as if she was going out on New Years. Oh, she wore her tight, white tank top and Lycra shorts, her hair pulled back in a youthful ponytail. Behind her designer sunglasses and plugged into her iPod, she bounced past all the bustling cafes, hoping that people might think she was a beautiful actress in town to promote her latest film.

Inside, a Kittenish broadcaster stood in front of a TIFF poster. She struck model poses and sucked in her cheeks. It looked like the cameraman might have a crush on her, as he leaned in after a take and tried to put his hand on her arm. She recoiled, as if worried that a star might see this.

The journalists are present to be charmed rather than to ask questions. They dress for the occasion, wearing their pass around the neck like an expensive piece of status jewelry. The films themselves are secondary, maybe even further down the list than that, and what’s important for those attending the festival is to look at home in this culture of glamour, even if they’re not.

In our minds the celebrities are larger than life. The camera focuses all of our attention upon them, and we imagine that the entire world must collapse around them when they walk down the street. But unexpected, on the periphery, they’re just a vaguely familiar looking person passing by, only smaller.

At a gourmet take-out store, I asked the girl working the counter what celebrities she had seen, and rather sourly, like the memory was unpleasant, she said, “Megan Fox.” She told me that she was little more than five feet tall, crazy skinny and that she looked WAY better on TV than she did in person. The girl had a scowl on her face as she said this, adding that most of the budget for The Transformers must have been spent on fixing her face. She allowed a small smile to animate her when she said this, clearly bitter that all the boys she went to high school with worshipped Fox, and ignored her, who by any objective measurement, was every bit as attractive, and an awful lot less bitchy.

A few hours later I saw a pretty woman on a downtown street. We gave one another a polite smile, the way that civil strangers do, and then about two minutes later, I realized that the woman I had just passed was Natalie Portman. What I saw, in that fleeting moment, was the shadow of a star, somebody, who without the illumination of my imagination, was just another ordinarily attractive woman. This, of course, reminds us that beauty is not necessarily what we perceive, but how we perceive.

Michael Murray is a freelance writer. For the last three and a half years he’s written a weekly column for the Ottawa Citizen about watching television. He presently lives in Toronto. You can find more of his musings on his blog, or check out his Facebook page.


I Love You, Philip Morris Trailer | Traffic Review





Comments

Ian likes this.

Oh wait, wrong site.

I like your meander-y style, especially for something as abstract as a musing on star quality.

Posted by: Ian at September 18, 2009 11:15 AM

Michael,

Back in my misspent youth I spent a year covering a major-league baseball team for a newspaper, and seeing how these guys comported themselves off the field, a lot of the shine of celebrity faded for me. Not that I saw them being jerks or anything, just that they weren't supermen. They ate and chased skirt and laughed and joked just like regular guys, only with more money. So I get to smirk now at the cult of celebrity. I can't imagine what life is like for these people, having to bolt through crowds and having cameras chase them and people grab at them ... it seems like a nightmare to me. So if I were in a roomful of movie celebs I might say to my wife, "Check it out, George Clooney just came in," but I'd leave the guy the hell alone. I don't need an autograph, though I'd accept a handshake if one were offered. It helps that I wouldn't recognize just about any but the A-listiest of A-list celebs, so I don't think I'll be having that problem anytime soon.

I also want to say that I love Toronto, and was brokenhearted when my daughter picked the University of Hartford over UT for grad school. She's very happy with her choice, though, and I'm happy for her, but damn ... it could have been your city I'll be going to visit in a couple weeks.

Who wants a passport? Cheap.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 18, 2009 11:26 AM

I've bumped into a quite a few celebs in my time, at film festivals, and currently around my home county, which has quite a few.

I've always left them alone (except for Phillip Glass, whom I gushed at like a schoolgirl).

They are almost invariably shorter than expected, so much so that I assume the stars known to be short (Tom Cruise, Michael J. Fox, et. al.) are actually microscopic.

There was one film festival where a lesser Ray Liotta movie was premiering and he was attending and sitting near me. I kept looking at him, and then him on the big screen, and marveling that they were the same person. He looked so much less in person.

Posted by: Drake at September 18, 2009 11:49 AM

I have to tell a celebrity-close-encounter story. When I worked for a local TV station, we carried, "Unhappily Ever After." One day, Nikki Cox, the little dork who played her brother (what was his name?) that she was dating in real life, and Nikki's mom (she managed both kids) came to town on a junket. They went to IMS, several places around town, then came back to the station. Now, this is Nikki as a teen---way before too much surgery, way before Bobcat or Jay Mohr. She was WONDERFUL! Sweetest girl you'd ever want to meet. Her mother and I talked about having daughters, Nikki chatted just like she'd known me forever, and we spent about 3 hours just talking. She signed numerous pictures for me to take home to my kids, taking special care to sign a couple for my red-haired daughter.

Really very down-to-earth, regular, nice people. Sad to see what has happened with her since, but I always cut her some slack because of that day.

Posted by: dammitjanet at September 18, 2009 11:57 AM

I'm glad to recommend you _______WealthySocial.COM______ to search them out! we have more than 1200,000 members including: lawyer,CEO,manager,model,actor,doctor,hollywood celebrities,althlets,investors.
It is totally Romance to communicate with each other,money is not important!

Posted by: happyone11 at September 18, 2009 12:09 PM

Maybe that's true for most run-of-the-mill celebrities, but I recently met Mr. Bruce Campbell at the Toronto Fan Expo, and he was just as awesome in real life. He looked just like our Sam Axe on Burn Notice, with the exception of his shirt, which was not nearly as tacky.

Speaking of which, did anyone hear? Sam Axe is getting his own show. Aw, yeah.

Posted by: Hazel Dean at September 18, 2009 12:48 PM

Michael, you forgot the, "once I figured out that it was Natalie Portman, I whipped around, sprinted back the way I came, leapt on said Ms. Portman, and began dry-humping her until bold passerby's intervened," part.

You forgot that part, Michael. That's what you forgot to include. What you left out.

You make me sick.

Posted by: Kballs at September 18, 2009 1:29 PM

Megan Fox looks like a bee bit her on the lip in that photo. It's embarrassing.

Posted by: figgy at September 18, 2009 1:48 PM

Hazel Dean, yes, I have no doubt that Bruce Campbell is just as (if not more) awesome in real life.

And, he's one of the few that I would embarrass myself by gushing if I were to meet him.

I had not heard that Sam Axe is getting his own show. That is great news!

Posted by: Drake at September 18, 2009 2:04 PM

a few years ago, i was at the bar of the W hotel in LA, and was making fun of the 40-something shortish guy a few feet away, who i accused of hanging out in a trendy bar trying to pick up hot young women.

and then, after several hot young women showed him noticeable attention, i realized it was george clooney. at which point i immediately changed my tune & wanted to pounce upon him.

i left him alone, but can vouch for the fact that he was very friendly to everyone who approached him, young & hot or otherwise. color me impressed.

p.s. i'm a long-time lurker of the site but usually don't get to read anything early enough that the comments are still actively going, so i've never weighed in before. very exciting!

Posted by: chacha at September 18, 2009 2:19 PM

Is Portman as painfully short as I think she is?

Posted by: SofĂ­a at September 18, 2009 2:33 PM

last week i peed in unison with kristin scott thomas in a hotel bathroom. it was quite the TIFF experience.

Posted by: celery at September 18, 2009 3:03 PM

celery, did you ask her to say "Duckface"? That would have been the proper thing to do, I think.

Posted by: dammitjanet at September 18, 2009 3:53 PM

You know, I saw Bruce Campbell on Queen Street a week or two ago. It looked like he wanted a little bit of attention, as he was wearing a long, leather jacket and a big cowboy hat that had a card in it that said, "yes, my name is Bruce."

From what I could tell, the entire staff at Pusateri's hated Megan Fox, who was buying sandwiches there all week long.

I saw Verne Troyer( mini-me) the other day, and he looked incredible small--so fragile and vulnerable. It was actually sad. And today, I attended a Jack White press conference, and I have to say, that guy is one spinning world of cool!

Natalie Portman is short, and by short I mean beautiful.

Peeing in unison with Kristin Scott Thomas should be an Olympic event, or at least a demonstration sport.

Posted by: michael murray at September 18, 2009 4:00 PM

I got into an elevator in Alaska and and there was Bruce Fucking Campbell. We chatted for several minutes about Meth addiction. It was awesome.

For context: I was attending a training on Meth addiction which he figured out from the materials I was holding.

I showed up later that day at a local theater where he was signing copies of his book and he recognized me and said "Hi Meth-Head!"

Bruce Campbell is so cool he makes nerdy social workers cool just by sharing the elevator for a minute and a half.

Posted by: Jennifer at September 18, 2009 4:36 PM

I would like to see Bruce Campbell. He seems to get around. And his off the cuff comments indicate that he might be a good dinner guest.

Years ago, I used to see the same fellow as I was walking to work in Vancouver. He looked kind of familiar the first time I saw him, so I smiled and nodded and he did the same. This happened a couple of times a week for several months. He always looked a little uncomfortable when he gave me his half smile. One day, I was walking with a friend and after the dude and I had done our usual nod, my friend said, "How do you know David Duchovny?" After that, I felt kind of weird and wondered if he thought I was a stalker.

Posted by: karen oh at September 18, 2009 4:51 PM

I had my book signed by Bruce Campbell at a reading of his autobiography several years ago, and he is as awesomely cool as you think he is.

All other celebrities, however... meh. I enjoy some of their works, but there are pretty much none of them I'd like to meet in real life.

Posted by: MM at September 18, 2009 5:09 PM

You know, I'm starting to think that Bruce Campbell is commenting on this thread under a bunch of different aliases.

Posted by: michael murray at September 18, 2009 5:12 PM

michael murray I would not mind if he is...not one bit.

You walked past Natalie Portman? Damn you jackass!! I would have likely had a heart attack.

The only celebrity I've ever encountered was Kurt Russell. He was at the mall in my little hometown in Texas walking around. No one really recognised him. I did and as I was walking by him I just smiled and nodded, he did the same, then about ten seconds later he got surrounded by about thirty people.

Oh, I also got to see the train hit the jeep for the scene in Courage Under Fire. That was awesome. Fuck that movie though, the Texas A&M core of cadets grabbed a bus every morning at like 3am to go to the set. They were in every military scene as soldiers in the background. They were never even thanked once in the credits.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at September 18, 2009 5:43 PM

I so very badly wanted to be there this year! Great lineup! Cillian Murphy!

Posted by: bubblegumshoe at September 18, 2009 5:45 PM

#1: Bruce Campbell is waaaay too awesome to need to go on websites and post "yay Bruce" comments under fake names.

#2: If Bruce Campbell really did read Pajiba, that would just prove forever more how awesome he is.

Posted by: MM at September 18, 2009 5:50 PM

Michael Murray, you are wonderful.

Posted by: Jerce at September 18, 2009 7:02 PM

One of my sisters had some experiences like that. I remember one incident that happened during the 2007 Festival. I got really sick about a fortnight after moving to my current apartment. My sister's place was pretty far away, but I was in no condition to take care of myself, so she came by to look after me. When she was stopped at one of the above-ground train stations, she phoned me explaining why it was taking SO long.

All of a sudden, I think I'm listening to a sonic boom, what with all of the screaming. Giant, freaking nerd-a-linger that I am, I wondered, was this some sort of staged 'Happening' a la Fluxus (why the fuck would I even think that)? I then wondered if there was some huge disaster. Nope. Just Brad and Angie. I was told that the former looked nice, the latter was 'bony'--I had suspected as much. I was later informed that Keira Knightly is 'painfully thin'. Another shocking twist.


The girl in that gourmet store wasn't scowling because she was unhappy about a specific incident. She was scowling because it is against the law not to get your Bitch-Face Sticker renewed every Cotillion. Put on an expression that doesn't broadcast the gathering darkness, and you'll get Quatre Veuve-Demerits.

Who is going to whisk you off to Half-Moon Street once the Season is over with that type of thing hanging over you, huh? That's worse than finding out that Bunny Bixby has been secretly filling her Cointreau bottles with Triple Sec. Well, not so much 'worse' as delicious. Are you scandalised? Oh, the indignity! Bring me my fan!

Right. Welcome to the Yorkville, bitch.

Still better than the scourge of my hometown: Oktoberfest Without Pity. Girls at home always make arrangements to travel with at least one other person when it gets dark and free buses are offerred. Government-sanctioned public drunkeness sounds awesome to anyone who isn't a single female walking home in the dark. Vile.

But Yorkville? They're almost as bad as those Legacy-Flinging, Under-taxed, Yacht-Sucking Cretins on the Islands. Why is the government always apologising to them (about nothing)? I'd say they need better P.R. but it's more likely that they need a good slap.

I'm not frothing because I have pinko sympathies (officially), it's because no good can ever come out of a situation that involves the Islanders or Yorkville. I guess that the late George Plimpton was far too declasse, and we needed to get some haughty imperiousness up in this grill.

Oh money. I was listening to CBC-1 about a year ago, and the topic of discussion was how to continue to put on a Festival that is so high-profile and well-regarded when many of us have to save up to be impovrished. One of the organizers talked about cost-saving strategies, such as dispensing with the $100.00 cocktails.

What's that that I taste? Oh, my tongue has just been swallowed. With a hundred dollars, I could buy--what, like three train tokens! Argh.

Time to go wash my low-income crotch.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at September 18, 2009 8:36 PM

As I mentioned before, TIFF was my stomping grounds for a few years in the mid-1990s. Anyway, as for Hollywood stars, the closest I got was to John Cusak. It was at an after-party at the Bovine ???? Club.

Posted by: Beijing York at September 18, 2009 10:13 PM

You are fabby-losa Mr. Murray.

I'd just like to add that Vancouver has it's share of elbow-rubbing-wanna-be action (but I sincerely doubt the VIFF is a worthy event). I once had an accidental-stalking-of-Angie-Harmon day, which started in the halloween aisle of Dressew, following by mistakenly elbowing her in various goth shops, and ended with me drunk outside a club and saying - "YOU. You're Angie Harmon! Just LOOK at you. Being Angie Harmon. PRET-TY." (she was with Micheal McKean and I focused on her? Doye.)

That same night, I essentially ignored the Statham at the same club. I like to act cool and indifferent, y'know? In case they need to chill and hang out with people who aren't totally fake. I'll be the genius who is like, 'whatevs,' and they would find my lack of interest alluring. A challenge that must be overcome.

I also worked in a Yaletown shoe store, and saw CSI guys, Paquin, Robin Williams...a ton of randoms. It's a random town. If you do any acting, it's a name dropping fiesta.

Posted by: replica at September 19, 2009 1:17 AM

Jo "Mama,"

I don't understand a word of that comment, but I like how you say it.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 19, 2009 10:34 AM

TCFKAB:

Toronto is an aces city, and Jo Mamma loves it.
She's from Kitchener, you know, which is kind of like being from, say Buffalo, only, well, much whiter and drunker.

You must tell me what major league team you covered! Man alive, I think I would love/hate to do that. I actually applied to be a Major League Baseball reporter last year, but then Pajiba stepped in and offered me the big bucks.

Posted by: michael murray at September 19, 2009 11:55 AM

It's said that more and more celebs and rich singles have profiles and their sexy photos on ~~~~~~_____WealthySocial.COM____~~~~~~The best dating club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs... You should check it right now~~~~~~~~~~~

Posted by: millionairegirl at September 19, 2009 12:17 PM

Heaven's Yes, This Mighty Kitchener.

Where the young mums aren't women and the fathers grow frightened.

Kitchener, erstwhile Berlin.
Are those home fires cooking, or just errant meth labs?

Oh K-Town, My Pigeonheart!
Halfway House steals the kiss of Catholic kilts afar.

Teeming with pawn shops
And 'Night Shifts'
And arson.

Come seek out our wares,
Try our Urban Decay!

Kitchener, not France:

Let love not meander,
Nor cruel lips let slander.
Show sweetness of manner
To thug Oberlander.

(Herr, herr).

To mullet, and to mullet, and to mullet.

But:
Us smallish-town rubes
Do what large ones refuse.
Keep our stinking pets out
of the stores with our food!

Sceptr'ed Isle? Indeed.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at September 19, 2009 5:19 PM

Michael, Pirates, back in the good old days when the team was good once in awhile and cocaine was the performance-enhancer of choice.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at September 20, 2009 12:37 AM

Ah, Omar Moreno and Willie Stargell and Mad Dog what's his name. I hated them, as I was an Expo fan, a team that was also full of coke heads.

Posted by: michael murray at September 20, 2009 11:55 AM

And Kent Tekulve.

Fuck Kent Tekulve.

Hated that skinny, geekhead creep, too.

Posted by: michael murray at September 20, 2009 11:57 AM

If it makes you feel any better, he's not so skinny anymore.

www.littleleague.org/Assets/images/stories08/KentTekulve_headshot_400px.jpg

And nobody got screwed worse by the '94 strike than Expos fans. I think you'd still have a team if everyone in baseball hadn't been such dickheads. For my part, it pissed me off that it allowed Braves fans to claim they'd won their division 14 years straight. That conspicuously excludes '94, when the 'Spos had a great team and would have won it all.

I got to go to Montreal a couple times the year I covered, and that's where I saw the most amazing thing I've (still) ever seen: a gridlock traffic jam on Rue St. Catherine at 2 a.m. on a Saturday. That, and classy strip bars every 50 feet.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 20, 2009 1:02 PM

'If it makes you feel any better, he's not so skinny anymore.'

Adjust the pronoun for the situation, and you've just written a sentence that will become the anthem for spurned or mocked high schoolers the world over.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at September 20, 2009 2:15 PM

Dear TCKFAB:

Be grateful. As someone who went to grad school at UofT (Master's and PhD), trust me, nobody should ever voluntarily invite the U of T School of Graduate Studies into their life. Ever.

Posted by: Say No to the U of T at September 20, 2009 11:29 PM

Ha, ha!

All of my referees told me the same thing when I was applying to graduate school.

Okay, maybe not 'ha, ha'. My condolences. I've spent enough time there, and known enough people who have gone there to know...by Golly, U of T loves the snot out of itself, huh?

Emphasis on the 'snot'. Not to blast anyone, I'm sure as sweat nowhere near a Ph.D. Gosh. I'd take one from the University of Bob just to say that I have one.

My chequing account hurts.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at September 21, 2009 2:06 AM





Post a comment

 (required)

 (required)


Preview of your comment:



Video ads popping up after each page view? Try clearing your browser's cookies.