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Three More Reasons You Picked the Wrong Day to Stop Sniffing Glue

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (33)

transformers-rosie-big-500.jpg

What? Wait, what? Huh? According to Movieweb, Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, the two guys who were the most sought after screenwriters in Hollywood for about six months following Zombieland, only to take the writing gig for the G.I. Joe sequel and the iffy Deadpool (what a waste), have decided to turn their movie into a half-hour comedy series. For a network. Fox, to be exact. Can our television sets sustain two zombie shows? Doesn’t this feel like cheap, “The Walking Dead” coattail riding? I get that it’s a half-hour comedy (and apparently, a fangless one if it will be on Fox), but it really does feeling like cashing in, and without Woody Harrelson, I’m not sure if I can climb aboard a series based on one of my favorite zombie movies. Unless they get Tyler Labine. Did you hear me, Fox? Hire Tyler Labine (even better, double him with Bret Harrison) and I will consider watching. Oh, who am I kidding. I’m going to watch anyway, but please, for the love of Christ, don’t hire the “Terra Nova” casting director.

In other Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese news, the two plan to continue wasting their talents on shitty potential franchise, having signed on to pen the script for a potential Micronauts movie. For the blessedly unfamiliar, Micronauts, a Hasbro-owned toy brand, blends robots with interchangeable parts.They should not be confused with Micromachines. Or Transformers.

And while we’re on the topic of Hasbro, in other news of the preposterous, Variety is reporting that Hasbro is talking with Michael Bay about coming back not for just for a fourth Transformers film, but a fifth one, as well. And they want to film them simultaneously. The kicker: There apparently is some truth to the rumor that Jason Statham may join the franchise. At the very least, the Transformers shoot should preclude him from continuing to make an interchangeable movie each month. Two more Transformers movies, on top of two more Fast and Furious movies, is exactly what Hollywood needs in order to bankroll less expensive shitty movies.

All the news isn’t terrible today, though: Yesterday, it was announced that F/X has picked up “Sons of Anarchy” for fifth season (unsurprisingly, since it’s the highest rated drama on cable), and AMC is reporting that “The Walking Dead” broke ratings records for cable on Sunday night, with 11 million viewers. It’s 4.8 million in adults 18-49 would’ve put it in the top ten for the week, on all channels.









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Comments

I only read the last paragraph which may explain why I'm not firing off random cock punches.

Posted by: admin at October 18, 2011 10:15 AM

please, for the love of Christ, don’t hire the “Terra Nova” casting director.

And I thought I was the only one who thought that show had the most boring cast in the history of television.

Posted by: Todd at October 18, 2011 10:27 AM

They should hire Tyler Labine, and Bret Harrison, and Ray Wise, and instead of it being about zombies every week Bret Harrison could work for the Devil played by Ray Wise, and his dad could be a zombie. Now what to call it...

Posted by: Brian at October 18, 2011 10:35 AM

sorta related, at least to the header pic:

i was one of those who loved the 1st transformers, and even liked the 2nd one (in the theater, i had NO idea what was going on, but it was loud and boomy).


that third one? even the action was a little boring.
but i kinda liked megan fox's replacement. i didn't want to. i was all set to snark on the relationship change, but she was... unoffensive.

and about 3/4 the way into it, i found myself unable to cope with anyone else.

Posted by: gp at October 18, 2011 10:41 AM

"Terra Nova"
---
I saw the last five minutes of that last night while waiting for "House" to come on, and if I hadn't already been convinced it was a shitfest by the fine reviewers and commenters here, if I had NEVER heard of it before, I would have looked at those five minutes and thought, "What IS this shitfest?"

It's that bad.
+++++
"broke ratings records for cable on Sunday night, with 11 million viewers."
---
Wow, that's only, like, 295 million people in America who were doing something else. Bravo, "Walking Dead"!

Posted by: , at October 18, 2011 10:50 AM

In fairness, Zombieland was originally conceived as a TV series, hence the Zombie Kill of the Week premise in Jesse Eisenberg's opening narration. Of course, being on a broadcast network will just make it a watered down version of the film. Then again, I fully support the Labine/Harrison Initiative. Where can I sign that petition?

Posted by: RobP at October 18, 2011 11:08 AM

Hasbro is talking with Michael Bay about coming back not for just for a fourth Transformers film, but a fifth one, as well

It's never going to end, is it. It's just never going to end.

Posted by: twig at October 18, 2011 11:12 AM

Yup. What RobP said. Zombieland was always going to be a TV show, but nobody picked it up, so they trimmed it and made it into a feature script instead.

Still, I would much rather see Zombieland 2 (and up) in the cinemas than watch a washed out, sitcom version. Plus, it's on Fox. Which means if it is actually any good, it'll get canned halfway through the first season.

Posted by: DarthBrookes at October 18, 2011 12:17 PM

From what I can tell, there are only two kinds of Fox shows: shitty, and canceled.

Posted by: Ghisent at October 18, 2011 12:55 PM

It’s 4.8 million in adults...

ITS. There's no apostrophe in the possessive its.

Posted by: appwitch at October 18, 2011 1:22 PM

So... real people, with brains, watch AMC and F/X... cable channels and zombies watch network television.

Posted by: MRod at October 18, 2011 2:12 PM

What is it about FOX that they are able to lure in the *most* talented people, siren-style, and then DASH THEM ON THE ROCKS time and time again?

Sigh. I'll watch Zombieland: The Sitcom. Whether it sucks, or is fantastic. All three episodes until it's cancelled.

Posted by: MM at October 18, 2011 3:27 PM

Zombieland was originally written as a TV series. When they couldn't get funding they basically made what was going to be the first couple of episodes into a movie. That's where all the "kill of the week" stuff was going to come in. It was meant to be episodic.

Posted by: ryan at October 18, 2011 3:59 PM

Speaking of Zombieland, a little tidbit Pajibans might like:

Amusing quote from Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick

PS Was it originally written as a TV series? Because that's what I'm hearing...

Posted by: MM at October 18, 2011 5:24 PM

From what I can tell, there are only two kinds of Fox shows: shitty, and canceled.

Posted by: Ghisent at October 18, 2011 12:55 PM


Three actually: cancelled, shitty and animated.

Posted by: Mr. Stitch at October 19, 2011 8:49 PM

In Fox's defense, it's not their fault that most of America likes really shitty TV. I applaud NBC for continuing to air well rated but poorly watched shows, but all that gets them is a 4th place finish. America will continue to watch trash, you can't fix stupid.

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I say it every time it's mentioned - The Deadpool script is fucking amazing. And the fact that Ryan Reynolds seems determined to try out every other B-grade comic book before getting to the one he was born to play annoys the shit out of me.

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