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Thomas Crown Pajiba

The Daily Trade Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | September 4, 2007 | Comments (39)


We’re not generally huge fans of sequels and/or remakes here at Pajiba, but every once in a while, there’s actually the occasional sequel I’d like to see (besides a fourth Bourne, of course) and today’s first item, if done right, is a movie I wouldn’t mind shelling out $10 to absorb: A sequel to the Thomas Crown Affair. I think there are a few of us, at least, who are ashamed to admit that we liked the remake better than Steve McQueen’s original, but there it is: Pierce Brosnan made for a helluva Thomas Crown and John McTiernan captured in that heist flick that likable breeziness which Soderbergh, et. al. McFranchised a couple of years later with the Ocean’s films. We touched upon the sequel in the development-hell stage, but it looks like it’s not only going forward as The Topkapi Affair — based on Eric Ambler’s book Light of Day, which formed the basis for the 1964 caper, Topkapi — but that it’s found a new leading lady: Angelina Jolie. And you know what? I got no complaints with that. I have no idea what happened to Rene Russo (in fact, after Thomas Crown she slummed it for a few years before completely falling off the map — I’m guessing that, based on Hollywood’s distaste for wrinkles, she was airbrushed out of existence), but Jolie would seem to fit the coolish vibe of the films rather decently (though I doubt she’ll replicate the “topless vibe” that Russo brought to the first movie).

Has your remote ever run out of batteries while channel flipping just as you inadvertently land on “According to Jim”? It leads to a pretty chaotic scene, one in which you find yourself running around the house in one sock and a pair of boxers looking frantically for whichever you find first: A couple of double AA batteries or a baseball bat you can take to your new flatscreen. It’s the sort of homicidal loathing that Jim Belushi inspires — and now! At absolutely no cost to you at home, he’s going to bring his brand of seizure-inducing humor to the big screen! Lucky us! Indeed, he’s not only directing The Catch, but he’ll also be starring, presumably as the 42-year-old lead who returns to college and, because of a promise he made to his father, ends up playing tight-end for the football team. Hey Jim: It wasn’t that great a movie when it was called Necessary Roughness, and I don’t imagine putting a douchespigot both in front of and behind the camera will make it any more appealing, you fucking pud. How many times do you think your parents ever said to themselves, “Man, why couldn’t it have been Jim?”

Elsewhere, I’m happy to announce our newest feature to the Tuesday round-up: Where Are They Now? In our first installment, we look at the 1987 film, *batteries not included, the $32 million hit about a group of apartment tenants that befriend a few alien mechanical life-forms, who then “discourage” developers from razing the complex. The film, co-scripted by Brad Bird (The Incredibles, Iron Giant), garnered several positive reviews, including a thumbs up from Roger Ebert. The movie featured Oscar-winning Jessica Tandy and Oscar nominated Hume Cronyn, as an elderly couple who run a greasy spoon below the complex. So, where are they now?

Dead.

Moving on, does anybody remember the arcade game Joust? You know, each player is a knight with a lance who goes around killing enemy knights while flying on an ostrich and picking up eggs. Yeah. Well, they’re making that into a movie, nevermind that the video game itself was apparently designed with a TRS-80 and possessed all the narrative possibilities of a goddamn bathroom tile. What’s more is that, based on the massive success they expect from the movie, some fuckstick extraordinaire from DC comics is actually writing a graphic novel to coincide with the movie’s release, a movie that will be about knights. Who fly around on ostriches (and sometimes emus!). And pick up eggs. I can’t fucking wait.

Danny Boyle also has a new movie in the works, having struck out box-office wise with Sunshine. This time out, he seems to be trying for something similar in tone to Millions with a movie called Slumdog Millionaire. Based on a true story, Slumdog is about an illiterate kid in Mumbai who looks to become a contestant on the Hindu version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire in order to re-establish contact with a lost love, whom he only knows is an ardent fan of the show. It’s actually a pretty sweet story, and I suspect that Boyle can bring the appropriate mix of humor and poignancy to the narrative.

On DVD this week: Delta Farce and Georgia Rule, which would make a great double feature in purgatory.

Finally, in the trailer watch, we bring you the unfortunate realization that Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen will not always be infallible. The Apatow-produced Drillbit Taylor was co-written by Seth Rogen (and John Hughes, of all people) and stars Owen Wilson. The strange thing is: 1) it’s an amusing concept, and 2) at least based on the trailer, you couldn’t ask for a better person to play the lead in Owen Wilson, who fits the role to a T. And yet, it seems awfully lacking. I’m guessing it’s because it won’t be a R-rated film and because it’s helmed by Steven Brill, who directed the two worst of all of Sandler’s features (Little Nicky and Mr. Deeds) as well as the abhorrent Without a Paddle. C’mon, Judd: You can’t find a better director than that?


Halloween | Nines, The





Comments

Renee Russo looked like a walking corpse on that first TCA remake. Very distracting and ridiculous trying to pull off the sexpot bit.
Having said that, Angie better put on a few pounds for this.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 4, 2007 9:36 AM

When I was in college (Go Gators!), I worked at a restaurant that served the most amazing chocolate bread pudding for dessert. The abbreviation for said amazing dessert that we servers used on our order sheets? That's right - PUD. I worked there for 4 years, and I swear I laughed silently each time that particular dessert was ordered. Anyway, thanks for giving me a chuckle on this crappy Tuesday morning.

Posted by: Kolby at September 4, 2007 9:39 AM

Why couldn't it have been Jim, indeed!

Posted by: AllGussiedUp at September 4, 2007 9:41 AM

I wonder what we'd be saying about John Belushi's work choices were he still alive. At least he could have given Jim career advice, right? Maybe kept According to Jim off the air. I've never watched it, my remote batteries are nice to me.

Posted by: Kermit at September 4, 2007 9:45 AM

"So, where are they now? Dead."

Couldn't think of anything funny/intelligent/scathing to say?

Posted by: WandringSoul at September 4, 2007 9:45 AM

Are you kidding?? I laughed so hard at that!

"where are they now?"

"Dead"

Priceless.

Re: TCA... I liked it, but not as much as my two buddies. They needed napkins to clean up all the drool watching Rene Russo strut around.

Posted by: Stella at September 4, 2007 10:08 AM

That Jim Belushi atrocity sounds very much like Dangerfield's "Back to School" except with football instead of swimming.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 4, 2007 10:09 AM

Don't forget, Renee Russo produced some Oscar quality work in 2005's "Your Mine & Ours."

But really it's just sad that she's probably considered too old to be Brosnan's love interest.

Posted by: wsapnin at September 4, 2007 10:23 AM

Russo looked great in TCA, but in recent shots I've seen of her, it seems she's had more plastic surgery than Cher in an effort to keep up with the youngsters. It's a shame, because she didn't need it, and now she looks bizarre.

Posted by: JMW at September 4, 2007 10:28 AM

And I don't know, I think Drillbit Taylor looks kind of...sweet -- like it's aimed more at a younger set, but still charming (maybe).

Posted by: JMW at September 4, 2007 10:32 AM

Russo looked her best on that Costner Golf flick (not a bad movie btw) after that, she hacked her face into something very, VERY, grotesque.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 4, 2007 10:40 AM

I happened to find Jim Belushi absolutely delightful in Real Men. That movie was an action-packed, buddy-cop, laugh fest.

Posted by: PissBoy at September 4, 2007 11:35 AM

Personally speaking, I was cracking up at the clip.

Having not seen Mr. Deeds, or Without a Paddle, Little Nicky was easy deemed unwatachable because of Sandler alone. I walked by it showing on a TV one day and could get away quickly enough. It's like Sandler was trying to find a way to throw any and all comedic karma he had built up over his career out the window in one movie.

Posted by: mb at September 4, 2007 11:46 AM

I couldn't stand the Thomas Crown Affair. Pierce Brosnan is icky ( all that shoulder biting and neck gnawing he subjected Renee to -- don't need to see him do that to Angelina's bony body) and
Denis Leary was laughable......can't act his way out of a paper bag. He has one mode: asshole.

Posted by: Finn at September 4, 2007 11:53 AM

Dustin, I was the tiniest bit afraid that having Pajiba Junior might make you a little less scathing. A little more prone to looking at crap like Jim Belushi through ever so slighty rose-tinted glasses. So glad to see that is not the case! (And the only thing worse that the batteries running out on "AtJ" is when they run out on "Everybody Loves Raymond". I, for one, HATE Raymond.)

Posted by: fenchurch at September 4, 2007 12:04 PM

I used to work with a guy who came in every Wednesday morning (I think it was Wednesdays) with a big grin on his face and "did you see According to Jim last night?" It never matter how many times I told him "no, not interested in that piece of crap", he would still tell me everything that happened and laugh out loud at the "funny" lines as he quoted them. I quit when I found out they were getting ready to fire me. He's now a V.P. with a BMW company car. There's a moral in there somewhere for any budding Aesops in Pajibaland.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 4, 2007 12:14 PM

Aww that trailer made me sad. It could have been so much better but instead it reeks of trying to cash in on the popularity of Knocked Up/Superbad for the under 15 crowd. Meh, I guess it's the way of Hollywood - find a concept that works and then milk it drier than.. something really dry. I don't know. My metaphors are on the fritz today.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at September 4, 2007 12:28 PM

Paddydog: That story makes me want to viciously murder a unicorn.

He would recap the show for you? Without a mocking tone? Where do these people come from?!

Posted by: Julie at September 4, 2007 12:33 PM

"Paddydog: That story makes me want to viciously murder a unicorn.

He would recap the show for you? Without a mocking tone? Where do these people come from?!
"

Middle America, of course! These are the same people who caused Arrested Development to be cancelled.

And hey, Dustin, while the feature films out on DVD today suggest a purgatorial film festival (heh-heh), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's first two seasons finally came out today. I can't wait to introduce the wife to this show tonight!

Posted by: Armando at September 4, 2007 12:43 PM

I thought Russo looked pretty hot in the first movie and I didn't mind Leary either. Don't know what Russo looks like now, but while I would say facial procedures almost always end up making someone look worse, not better (just freakishly different), can't say that I blame her or other "older" actresses for doing it. When leading men routinely cast women half their age as the "love" interest and most of the casting approval (I'm assuming) is done by men who would rather look elderly themselves next to a 25-year-old than be seen sexing up a woman close to their own age, what else is a 30/40/50 year old actress to do? Age yourself right out of a career or go under the knife/needle in an attempt to "erase" the years away. Sad. And sad that non-Hollywood people now judge everyone harshly for the terrible crime of aging. All the Crypt Keeper references and implications that 40 is elderly are so, so helpful. And then we wonder why they continue to churn out crap targeted to 18-year-olds. When the Chinese become our new overlords, I won't even care. They couldn't do much worse than what we have now, culturally, anyway.

Posted by: LL at September 4, 2007 12:56 PM

I agree with all of you concerning Jim Belushi's TV series, but didn't he do some half-way decent work back in the mid-to-late 80's, in a few films?

Dustin, I hope you are not trying to infuence us concerning our upcoming Presidental vote next year because when I Imdb'd "Necessary Roughness," I see that Fred Dalton Thompson is in this movie.

Posted by: G40 at September 4, 2007 12:58 PM

"Joust? You know, each player is a knight with a lance who goes around killing enemy knights while flying on an ostrich and picking up eggs. "

HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!

This just proves my theory that nerds who write video games have never experienced life in the real world.

I can just see a knight in 90 lbs of armour trying to mount a FLIGHTLESS bird and then attempting to steal its eggs while being kicked and pecked to death. Great movie idea.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 4, 2007 1:20 PM

Julie: Thanks for the sympathy. It was truly as I portrayed it: he would recap the whole bloody show. And, yes I hear you. Throughout that entire job I would sit at my desk dreaming up vile things to do to unicorns. I feel I have closure now that I've admitted it out loud.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 4, 2007 1:27 PM

There is no such thing as a Hindu "Who Wants to be a Millionaire". The correct term would be Hindi, Hindu being the religion and Hindi being the language.

Posted by: Lilac at September 4, 2007 1:29 PM

I love Judd Apatow. I love Owen Wilson (or at least I sometimes I love him). I love Seth Rogen. I love Judd Apatow's wife, even though I can't remember her name. I, however, do not love kids. Unless it is in the form of Superbad, they tend to ruin everything.

Posted by: Zuzu at September 4, 2007 1:40 PM

This just proves my theory that nerds who write video games have never experienced life in the real world.

Um, what? Was that supposed to be a snide remark? Sorry, I don't get it. How does the ridiculous premise of a video game somehow indicative of the creator's lack of exposure to "the real world"? I don't see stereotypical Italian plumbers running around stomping on turtles or people controlling godlike beings with crystals, but it doesn't make me question the sanity of Nintendo or Square Enix.

Posted by: Vermillion at September 4, 2007 1:47 PM

Although I doubt I'll shell out to see it, the preview for Drillbit Taylor did make me laugh. If I had kids of a certain age, I wouldn't dread going to this.

Posted by: random at September 4, 2007 2:14 PM

Dustin, are you're saying Joust went back in time and killed Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn?

Posted by: Seth L at September 4, 2007 2:33 PM

Vermillion: The whole premise of the game struck me as amusing since it bears no resemblance to reality, and yeah, I know it's not supposed to resemble reality, that was part of what made it funny.

Oh, and I do work with computer nerds, all day, every day, and most of them have not experienced life in the real world. Nice guys, but they really need to get out more.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 4, 2007 2:40 PM

Oh man, maligning computer nerds on THIS site? Bad move.

Posted by: redbeaniegirl at September 4, 2007 2:55 PM

Thank you, Dustin. I loved, loved, LOVED the Russo/Brosnan TCA, and I often feel quite alone (significant look to the comment thread so far...)

Fun plot that holds together without requiring (too much) suspension of disbelief. Great music. Zingy writing. Good acting. And I thought everyone in it was sexy as shit; if you ever have a comment diversion requiring us to pick one movie where you'd be willing to sleep with all of the major characters, this would be mine. Brosnan at his hottest. Russo an uber-babe. Leary his wonderfully appealing smirky self and yet not too nasty. Even Faye's looking all silver-foxette-y.

Posted by: Paris at September 4, 2007 3:18 PM

Middle America, of course! These are the same people who caused Arrested Development to be cancelled.

Posted by: Armando

Armando, I live in Middle America and loved Arrested Development. I still have the final episodes perma- TIVOed. The general half-brained public caused the demise of AD. Not just Middle America.

PaddyDog, that story causes me phsyical pain. Those are the people that killed AD!!!

TCA was a good remake. I am actually kinda happy with a sequel for it. Especially if it keeps Hollywood from churning out another even worse remake of something that should not be touched.

Posted by: Melody at September 4, 2007 3:51 PM

Redbeaniegirl: I am a computer nerd, and therefore I can malign myself if I want to. I also have no problem maligning my fellow computer nerds, as they were looking over my shoulder when I wrote the original post, and agreed with everything I said.

Pajibas! I just find the whole idea of Joust to be incredibly funny. I am not the only one who finds the idea that this absurd game would be turned into a movie. Dustin posted it first, remember?

Posted by: BWeaves at September 4, 2007 4:09 PM

LL: When the Chinese become our new overlords, I won't even care. They couldn't do much worse than what we have now, culturally, anyway.

Words to live by. I'm so with you on the bitterness.

Posted by: Meander at September 4, 2007 6:05 PM

I'll join my fellow proletariat in welcoming our new Asian masters.

They'll now how to put us in our place.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 4, 2007 6:17 PM

I laughed in the bit where the kid got punched in the spine.

I'm the lowest common denominator.

Posted by: Tenzil at September 4, 2007 8:31 PM

BWeaves: Ah, thanks for clearing it up a bit there. Sometimes we get folks here who don't know their ass from a PS2, and spout off nonsense about geeks, nerds, and/or what have you. Seeing as how you are one, feel free to laugh heartily. And like I said, I thought the idea was silly as well.

Until I realized the concept of Chocobos were pretty much the same thing, only somehow more badass and occasionally able to fly. So now I am just confused.

Posted by: Vermillion at September 4, 2007 9:05 PM

Yeah, but at least Chocobos look friendly - I think I'd be fairly happy about riding one (if they weren't, you know, not real and everything) but if I were to ride an Ostrich I'd spend the entire time convinced that at any second it would whip its head round and try to peck out my eyes. It doesn't make the concept any less weird though.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at September 5, 2007 6:43 AM

Barbado could not BE more wrong about Russo in TCA.

Jesus, she was so hot I wanted to fuck her.

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at September 11, 2007 3:37 AM





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