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July 8, 2008 |

By Daniel Carlson | Industry | July 8, 2008 |

We’re starting this morning with a full-blown rumor: Quentin Tarantino, who’s got his eye on remaking Russ Meyer’s Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, is reportedly in talks with adult film star Tera Patrick about her taking a lead role. This is all courtesy of the New York Post’s Page Six, which makes Harry Knowles look like Edward R. Murrow, but you have to admit the whole thing makes sense. Tarantino is all about recycling his influences, and there’s nothing more recyclable than a porn star. Tarantino hasn’t commented, but Patrick, apparently eager to give the world just one more innuendo, said of the project: “I was built for this part.” I don’t know what else to say, so let’s move on.

I’ve written about Tucker Max before. I’m not doing it because I like the guy, but because hopefully I can do my part to raise his profile enough that he catches the eye of someone possessed of both righteous anger and a large cudgel, who will hunt down Max and do what needs to be done. Max’s memoir, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, is so self-indulgent it gives descriptors like “masturbatory” a good name, which is why it’s being adapted into a film. The cast was announced this week, and those of you with soft spots in your hearts for Logan Huntzberger aren’t gonna be happy: Tucker Max will be played by Matt Czuchry in his first lead role in a feature. Czuchry (not to be confused with Henry Czerny) will play the lecherous douchebag as he heads to a friend’s wedding in Mexico, almost ruins everything, and then has to figure out a way to repair the friendships he’s wrecked. His best friends will be played by Jesse “Fuck You, I Was in Bring It On” Bradford and Geoff Stults, the latter of whom is notable for having a perfectly rectangular head. Principal photography begins later this month in Shreveport, Louisiana, so I’d be much obliged if some of our Southern readers could steal stuff from the set and let us know what’s going on.

Seriously, that’s all I got this morning. Blame it on the holiday weekend, during which no one was making deals and everyone was crowding down at the beach to watch the fireworks (when they would have had a lot more fun doing what I did, namely, marathoning the first season of “The Wire” and playing “Call of Duty 4.” That’s patriotic, right?).

Anyway, onto the trailer watch. First up is the clip for The Day the Earth Stood Still. If you thought the original had too much “plot” and not enough “things go boom now,” you’re in luck (and in need of help):

Here’s the red band trailer for Mirrors, from horror helmer Alexandre Aja:

Finally, here’s the clip for The Mutant Chronicles. It’s a sci-fi film, which means by law that it must feature Ron Perlman:

Daniel Carlson is the managing editor of Pajiba and a low-level employee at a Hollywood industry magazine. You can visit his blog, Slowly Going Bald.

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