There Are No Cute Pictures Here: News to Make You Angry
Pictures of babies and puppies and kittens? There is no trade new equivalent this morning. There is nothing but the desolation. The stupidity. The endless doomed projects by directors who have credentials that suggest they should know better.
Not content to have spawned that abomination of an "adaptation" of I, Robot (and I use sarcastic quotes because taking a title and a character name isn't an adaptation), Alex Proyas is moving on to violating Robert Heinlein next. An "adaptation" of The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag begins filming in Australia in the Fall. The only good news here is that if you've got to desecrate the works of the great, it's at least less tragic if it's a lesser known work. Proyas is said to have been drawn to the project because this Heinlein novel helped inspire his Dark City. Dark City on the one hand, I, Robot on the other. The Crow on the one hand, The Knowing on the other. That's not even bipolar, that freaking cinematic schizophrenia.
Will he turn it around with the muse of Heinlein? Do we look like optimists around here?
Oh and there's that new Spider-man movie, having adopted the "Amazing" tag from the old comics in a hail mary of desperation. "Look at me! I'm amazing!" Marc Webb is directing, which is an intriguing move after 500 Days of Summer. What's not intriguing is the film itself. Webb had this to say:
I wanted to give the audience something new, so that started off with getting underneath the parents' story, which will unfold over probably a few movies. We don't totally wrap up that story in this first movie. It's sort of an ongoing mystery. That was something that was interesting to me.
Yeah, over a few movies. Ask Raimi how that turned out. There are two warring impulses here. The first is to applaud Webb for finding some different angle to come at since the studio dictated retelling the damned origin story all over again. But the second is that this is such an off the wall random tid bit of the Spider-man mythology that it seems entirely pointless. It seems to come out of a flashback issue written in 1997 that made Peter Parker's parents spies who died in action, but other than that and a couple of other minor stories, their back stories have been non-issues in the comics. Though it could be worse. They could make him emo again.
Finally we get to "Fringe." Are you still watching it? I am. After the animation and soul magnets got out of their system last season, I've thought that this season has been quite good. Of course, I'd watch "Two and a Half Men" if Walter Bishop moved into their garage. But don't get too happy, it's probably going to be cancelled this week. According to producer Joel Wyman, we should know by the end of the week. And even if it does get a fifth season, it's already been decreed that it will only be 13 episodes.
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